The People's Cube - Political Satire

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Comrades, here we have a foolish white privileged male claiming discrimination for, of all things, enjoying ink injections in his skin the way Empress Hillary (aka hdr22) likes to grow servers on her Chappaqua farm (or something like that).

Restaurant refused to serve man because of his facial tattoos

I mean, what difference at this point does it make? He has no right to claim discrimination because the tattoo lobby has not made a large enough donation to our party!

The ability to make demands of businesses on the basis of victimhood and discrimination has a price. Your group either pays up or you find a way to claim membership in another officially recognized victim group.

In this case, this privileged white male should have said he forgot his gay card at home and will complain to the government about homophobia if he doesn't get in. Our party has not yet issued "ink cards" or "tattoo cards" and will not be doing so without substantial ongoing donations...

This may be one of those times when it may be in The Party's™ best interests to create a demand for additional 'qualified victim' cards in order to generate a desire to donate vast sums of financial incentives to legislate a new class of victims into existence. The promise of the first tattooed president could be very appealing. Perhaps we could convince our MTE to acquire a tramp stamp.

Comrade Kapitan, glorious idea! In fact, we could just model this after DearLeaderCare. We can have the groups that have already bought their way in and have elite status (e.g. certain politically correct races and LGBTQXYZABCCBSNBCSTASINAZI below that). Those are like the politicians are to DearLeaderCare. Then we can have groups at different levels depending on how much they want to pay: Gold, Silver, and Bronze (is that last one racist?). Different levels of benefits might apply depending on how much your group pays. For example, if you buy Gold protection service, you might get to completely take over the business that offends you and even force indentured servitude upon the former owners and specific employees who upset you. Then there is silver where you just get free service from this business for you and select friends for life. Finally, in the bronze plan you just get to rejoice over the government issuing them a hefty fine. (Of course, this is a part of ALL plans.)

So, we've figured out the benefits of levels of victimhood. Let's also remember that since Comrade John Roberts mandated ObamaCare for everyone or a penalty as a tax, why not do the same with victim insurance? Everyone can be mandated to pay for a victim insurance plan or pay a fine? This will bring much needed money into The Party™ just in time for 2016!

He's got a point though. Can one be blamed for being born stupid?

One cannot, comrade GSG. It's why the Democratic Party exists. Somebody needs to represent the terminally stupid.

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:One cannot, comrade GSG. It's why the Democratic Party exists. Somebody needs to represent the terminally stupid.

Ahh, Comrade KKK, if only they were terminal.
Oops! That wasn't nice.

Comrade, they are terminally stupid......but, they breed. It's similar to an influenza virus. They mutate and become more virulent but are no less stupid.......and they need representation.

The Party™ is happy to "service" the market.

Good lord, at first glance I thought that line read:

Restaurant refused to serve man because of his fecal tattoos

And you know, I think I could understand that, especially if they were showing at the time.