The People's Cube - Political Satire

Trigger Warning: You may experience trauma because I am going to mention the name of a rightwing blogger who is full of white privilege. You may have read some of his work and been mentally raped by the outrageous and horrific things he says. And, did I mention his white privilege yet? Yes, double mental rape. Also, note that this post will mention Commissarka Pinkie and if you have ever been whacked with her glorious shovel, this post might remind you of the pain. You may need to crawl into your safe space™ rather than reading this post. But before you do, be sure to shop at Craptek's Safer-Space World™ .

Legal Disclaimer: Craptek's Safer-Space World™ does not necessarily approve, disapprove, support, not support, agree with, disagree with, like, dislike, unlike, has not purchased likes for, friended, unfriended, defriended, has not purchased friends for, followed, unfollowed, has not purchased followers for, connected with, disconnected with, associated with, or unassociated with, this post. The author of this post cannot vouch for, support, recommend, or in any other way be responsible for purchases made at Craptek's Safer-Space World™. Buy at your own risk, using redistributed funds from the wealthy of course. In any event, this annoying legalese should cover me in case Craptek's Safer-Space World™ wants to sue me or anyone who purchases from same would like to sue me.

Now, on to the main message....

Comrades, Commissarka Pinkie is a victim of a horrendous crime! A reichwinger has stolen one of her ideas. For years and years, Commissarka Pinkie has been talking about raising awareness™ . And suddenly, in an attempt to belittle our brave young social justice warriors™, reichwinger (note: final trigger warning - I am about to mention his name and it might be traumatic -- crawl into your safe space™ now if necessary) Matt Walsh has written a parody piece (warning: click link at your own risk because it might set off multiple triggers and traumatic experiences) where he comments on awareness campaigns:

"Has he conducted awareness campaigns to make people aware of things? Has he then followed those awareness campaigns with awareness awareness campaigns to make people aware of the awareness?"

Oh the horrors, Comrades! Not only is this stealing from womyn™ but it's stealing from Commissarka Pinkie! Will her shovel be next? Awareness campaigns are the sole domain of Commissarka Pinkie, not some greedy, rich 1 percenter CEO who should be fired for being rich and greedy and stealing all that money from the proles.

I have created a hashtag for this: #JusticeforPinkie

Greetings Comrade Vlad,

After fortifying myself with 12 ounces of Party approved analgesic - to ward off actual or perceived trigger events - I clicked the link to the parody piece by that vile creature "Matt Walsh" (if that really is his name) and began to read. That's all I seem to remember till regaining consciousness in Mrs. Hindenberg's strawberry patch 4 blocks away. I'm not complaining mind you, since - all things being equal - I have no recollection of emotionally damaging trigger episodes. Nevertheless, for your vigilance in discovering Walsh's ursurpation of Pinky's domain, I fully intend issuing a free pass in your name to the grand opening festivities at Safer-Space World™ along with a personally autographed copy of my latest novel, "The Truth About Voyeurism". Enjoy it in good health!

Sincerely,

CC

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I laughed so hard I couldn't finish the article!

Thank you so much Comrade Captain! I look forward to the grand opening and the book! But you know, considering this horribly traumatic event you experienced upon starting to read that evil Matt Walsh's horrendous piece of Pinkie plagiarism, you might want to lawyer up and sue him for the injuries you must have incurred! In fact, maybe this might delay the opening of Craptek's Safer-Space World™ and naturally you could sue Walsh for loss of business too...

Comrade Mikhail Lysenkomann, I realize you wrote in Prog Off but I can't help this if you laughed so hard you couldn't finish the article, you might have injured yourself laughing and thus you too could sue Matt Walsh. I'm beginning to think there might be room for an entire class action lawsuit against this rightwing blogger. Consider, Comrade Captain Craptek has two points on which to sue, you have one, Commissarka Pinkie has at least one and perhaps many more, anyone else who reads this might get triggered despite the trigger warning, and if they get a trigger they might even get chiggers too. Then there is Comrade Red Square. Since Commissarka Pinkie has been victimized by Matt Walsh, this is bad for the entire People's Cube community. So, as Premier and General Secretary of the People's Cube, now Red Square has a point on which to sue him. Then there is the rest of the community that is affected so each of us has a general reason to sue. And for me personally, it took a couple of minutes of my life away to write that trigger warning. So, I should have compensation for that. After all, if Matt Walsh was a good comrade writing propaganda for our party, I wouldn't have needed to write that trigger warning. And since this is on The Blaze, we can all sue uber reichwinger Glenn Beck too!