The People's Cube - Political Satire

[img]/images/Bernie_Sanders_Dating_Banner.jpg[/img]

Are you constantly enraged over dating inequality? Do you agree that the government should step in and guarantee the romantic desires of the toiling masses, from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs?

Meet Bernie Singles - an online community of unwashed lonesome comrades longing for dating equality and a fair redistribution of mating partners.

We welcome yet another dating website that models itself on the People's Cube. For too many years our People's Dating Service remained the only outlet of romantic progressivism for toiling workers and peasants of all 57 genders and variations thereof. Revisit these threads, comrades - we assure you that all of those characters are still single.

[list]
[*]The People's Dating Service[/list][list]
[*]The People's Dating Service (Holiday Edition)[/list][list]
[*]The People's Dating Service-July edition[/list][list]
[*]PROGRESSIVE Personals : THE SPRING EDITION![/list][list]
[*]White House dating ads[/list][list]
[*]OKcomrade: the first dating site for leftists? Hardly![/list]

We are happy that our selfless service to the dating masses is now continued at Bernie Singles, who follow our traditions, style, fashion, and phraseology. Quite possibly, it also has some of our members.

Join their lineup of eligible comrades looking for that special fellow traveler!

Happy surfing and please share your findings with the kollektive. And don't forget to promote our latest favorite cause: boob equality!

Here is a larger version of the Bernie Singles banner:

[img]/images/Bernie_Sanders_Dating_Street.jpg[/img]

Wow, It's even free! Just like Bernie! Although all the pictures are round. I like square things and sharp angles. And the only place I can get them is The Kube!

[OFF] with humor

Let's take a look at some of these profiles:

Mr/Ms? Glimmer - A nudist community organizer who likes a show meant for little girls. Wow, he sure does look like a "catch", doesn't he?

Ms. Lacey - Likes some of the things I like. Except Marvel, who the hell reads comic books? And the Rangers and Mets, if you like anybody other than the Pirates, the Pens, and the Steelers you're on par with a communist as far as I'm concerned. I'd rather trap things like hedgehogs and otters than have them as pets or whatever the hell she does with them.

Mr. Luka - Wants to "experience" Asia, is a self-proclaimed leftist who goes to the U of Houston, and has a dual Serbian/Canadian citizenship. Well, the guy's in Texas. It's said that only steers and queers come from Texas, he doesn't look like a steer, so what does that make him?

Ms. Stacey - A dem socialist atheist from Virginia but living in Chicago. How the hell a Virginian could become a dem socialist atheist is beyond me, must be the Chicago influence.

Ms. Melissa - Political Sci. and Spainish major from Indiana. First question I have is: Why Indiana!? I've driven through Indiana, the only politics they have is "How flat geographically do we want our state to be this year?" and the only Spanish they have is Taco Bell!

Mr. Eza - He's in Australia. I think the heat's gone to his head.

Mr. Adam - He says he only needs 2 things: Bernie and Music. I dunno Adam, how about water and food? Lotsa awful long lines for those things if you're under socialism.

Ms. Maureen - Looks like she's got a nice little setup. A couple jobs, a house, goin' on a road trip cross-country in June. Nice little life given to her by capitalism. And she wants a socialist to come in and mess it all up. "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do".

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O. M. G. !!
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And so we march gladly forward into the glorious future of Next Tuesday, when men will be women, women will be men, and sheep will keep their backs to the wall carry suicide pills.

WOW! Bernie Singles! If you're looking for loads of BS, here it is.

And yeah, it's free, but I notice they're making a quite a big deal about the fact that their server isn't free, so they're having to rely on...what is the term I've seen bandied about at the Cube? Neo-Kulaks in need of liquidation.

Some progs they claim to be. Instead of enslaving themselves to capitalist exploiters, why don't they just come out and demand government funding?

When you're funded by ads, you're just helping the capitalists.

But when you're funded by the government, you're helping yourself!

I can't seem to find the "Party Members Only" button on this website...surely they don't expect the party elite to select from these er, selections?

[color=#C0392B]Ivan Betinov[/color] asked a well thought out question when he wrote:
I can't seem to find the "Party Members Only" button on this website...surely they don't expect the party elite to select from these er, selections?

Comrade Putout, you spelled "whiners" wrong.

[color=#C0392B]Commissarka Pinkie[/color] - proving once again why she handles the shovels - wrote:
Comrade Putout, you spelled "whiners" wrong.

I debated with myself... and lost!
.

Comrades, I would like to direct your attention to the logo, specifically that raggedy, jaggedy white thing that looks like something I dug out of my bathtub drain.

Is that supposed to be Bernie's hair?

Anyone?

Anyone at all?

[color=#C0392B]Commissarka Pinkie[/color] was quite persuasive when she wrote:
Comrades, I would like to direct your attention to the logo, specifically that raggedy, jaggedy white thing that looks like something I dug out of my bathtub drain.

Is that supposed to be Bernie's hair?

Anyone?

Anyone at all?

Dear Commissarka Pinkie

Yes, this white hair thing question is quite perplexing...

Is your drain constantly full of white hair things or only when you have a 'guest'?
.

.

I guess this belongs in the Bernie Singles department.

Red Square wrote:I guess this belongs in the Bernie Singles department.

The attachment Bernie_Supporter_Gay.jpg is no longer available

The Hands! We NEED to see the hands!


Yours truly tested out as a macho man.

I think I'm getting this from Comrade Putout. It is contagious...

I just saw one of the Bernie's singles on Facebook: