The People's Cube - Political Satire

Glorious news, comrades!

In response to the critique that her campaign consists mainly of throwing dirt at Donald Trump, Mrs. Clinton has now announced her first - and most important - executive plan: an ambitious roadmap to rebuild America's military: the Military Equality Program.

Speaking to a large crowd of 11 supporters and 134 journalists in Washington, Mrs. Clinton delivered a rousing speech:

"People no longer respect our military, because it is a source of inequality. Remember the first phase of Iraq II? We rolled them up like a carpet, you could hardly call it a war. Our soldiers were better trained, better equipped and had better leadership, so we never gave those poor Iraqis a fighting chance. That's not the America we want. We need to reposition our objectives globally, and make sure other nations that want to kill our troops have equal opportunities to do so. Global equality must be the goal of the next administration."

Mss Clinton went on describing the biggest success of her pilot project on Military Equality:

"Remember the Benghazi attack in 2012? When I started as secretary of state, the head of the CIA gave me very precise intel on local terrorist militias and suggested some changes to the security detail. But my team worked overtime to make this a poster case for Global Military Equality: I personally made sure that our operatives on the ground were unprepared, that no reinforcements were sent and that the military liaisons got contradictory information. And I think we can all be proud of the results: some unwashed savages were able to brutally murder four US citizens, including two former US navy seals!"

Some specifics about the Military Equality Program:

- Target Uniforms: since Muslim terrorists are (in general) bad marksmen, changing the Army's camouflage pattern into a big red target will help provide Marksman Equality.

- No more radio communication: some terrorist militias consist of severely retarded individuals, unable to coordinate properly. By taking away the Army's communication capabilities, we can bring all parties to the same level.

- No more stealth: by using sophisticated American technology, drones and airplanes were able to go about there business unseen. This is not fair towards other nations!

- At least 50% of all infantry platoons must consist of obese transgenders.

And now it's up to you,comrades:

Can you help the Clinton campaign to come up with even more ideas to create Global Military Equality?

Your comrade ...
... from a continent that has largely forgotten its tremendous debt to your military,
Minitrue

Comrade Minitrue, may I suggest having all submarines remain on the surface at all times? This would undoubtedly offset our navy's "silent service." They may be quiet but they won't go unseen! In addition, perhaps a bullseye painted on the deck could aid ASW efforts?

Subvet, I think that might work, but just to be safe, let's turn on the active sonar and send out homing signals. Maybe Ivan the Stakhanovets could rig up some kind of radar beacon as well.

Brilliant!

While I attempt to fast-track a lucrative under-the-table gummmint contract good for years of useless R&D, might I propose that we paint all submarines a day-glow pink?



In the short term, it will increase targeting for ASW challenged navies, and, Bonus--it's October, painting our subs pink will raise awareness for breast cancer and show Commisarka Pinkie that we care!

Y'know... a lot of countries that hate us can't get to us. Might it be best if we were to start recruiting jihadis directly into existing units? That way they wouldn't have to go to all the trouble of finding an American unit to attack and the tedious task of infiltrating their position to carry out the attack.

Ivan Betinov wrote:Y'know... a lot of countries that hate us can't get to us. Might it be best if we were to start recruiting jihadis directly into existing units? That way they wouldn't have to go to all the trouble of finding an American unit to attack and the tedious task of infiltrating their position to carry out the attack.

"Now thats what I call thinking outside the jar...this idea has merit, let's investigate further..."

Comrades, thank you for your help! The oppressed armies of the world will rejoice!

I particularly like the "submarine de-provement" ideas...

.
A cryptographic study conducted in the past by our Comrade Director revealed the content and meaning of the flag waved by the corps of freedom fighters lead by divine khalifa Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi (PBUH). Recall the stunning insight revealed :

So, semantics as well as semiotics and iconography of Abu-Bakr-flag clearly address humanitarian needs, inter-troop camaraderie, and climate-sustainable interactions with environment and life.

Amerikkka! This is our moment! This is our time! We must get rid of our shameful militaristikkk past!

Time to shred the XIX-century iconology of martial masculinity - swords, stars, wings, parachutes. Didn't Comrade Lurch, pretty much Nobel-Peace-2016 awardee (who served in Vietnam), enlighten our international community by declaring: You just don't in the 21st century behave in 19th century fashion ?

The 21 century is here!

Decreed day-glow-pink submarines (in posts above) are certainly a good start. All the other puffily oversized arsenal ‒ .B-52, F-117, B-2 (or that farcical SR-71). ‒ should of course follow. But attention must also be given to the details ‒ flags, orders, medals, mission patches!

(and BTW, those flying vessels of death should be randomly grounded, by mysterious - randomly orchestrated, too - "disappearances" of spare parts ; Comrades Foval and Creamer, recently assigned aplenty of spare time, could be useful here.)

It's time to redesign all that to organize a coming-out of peace-making gayness, supranational transsexuality and general gender affectivities of our modern Obamilitary! All hands on deck!


Only this way can the Pentagon-commanded Peaceful Corps attain Global Military Equality
and finally embrace the just cause of freedom fight for Khilafah, the World Caliphat!

Heed this as Conflict-Resolution of the 21 century! :


And more five-star Genderals in the top-staff of Armed Forces! :

I think that it would be very progressive of our military to give out trigger warnings before the bullets start to fly. Our military should also create safe spaces for our enemies so they could have a place to go where they should expect to not get triggered.

I would also like to expand on comrade Ivan Betinov's ideas and take it one step further. Recruiting jihadi's into our existing units would help out overseas, but what about here in America? If jihadi's somehow cross the ocean and make it into places like Central America, we should remove any border security so they could more easily come into the United States. Better yet, I propose that we find some war torn Muslim nation that has many displaced refugees (I just did a Google search and found out about a war in some place called Syria?- that would be perfect for this plan). Hillary should figure out some way to entice fighting age men to come to United States. I figure a place such as this would probably have many displaced jihadis mixed in with the general public. We increase chances of success by trying to select mostly men of fighting age without any screening process. Maybe tell the American public that they will screen them, but let's be real comrades, there will be no way to actually screen them. Hillary could offer them housing vouchers, health care, free schooling, and food stamps. Once these people are here, we could have the media and police downplay any wrong doings of these people such as rape and child molestation. This way, it will give them a sense of invulnerability. Once the groundwork is laid, they will become more and more bold and we can all just sit back and watch global military equality in our own backyards.

They get full tuition to flight school too, no?

No need for flight school. It's easier to just pay their travel expenses to and from Saudi Arabia, where the Saudi government lets them practice flying with actual airliners.

Oh yes..... in the interest of global military equality, I would suggest that the U.S. train its flight combat personnel with this " more equal " multi-place simulator.

It offers students a realistic flight experience ....... at up to six at a time !




Just think of it, comrades !

With training like this, we will no longer have lop-sided air battles with Amerika always winning. ( spit )

Cagey B wrote:... [let's] figure out some way to entice fighting age men to come to United States. [including] many displaced jihadis mixed in with the general public. We increase chances of success by trying to select mostly men of fighting age without any screening process. Maybe tell the American public that they will screen them, but let's be real comrades, there will be no way to actually screen them. [then] offer them housing vouchers, health care, free schooling, and food stamps. Once these people are here, we could have the media and police downplay any wrong doings of these people such as rape and child molestation. This way, it will give them a sense of invulnerability. Once the groundwork is laid, they will become more and more bold and we can all just sit back and watch global military equality in our own backyards.

jawohl, Amerikkka! zhis iz korrekt! vee Dshermans, vee much do zhis! and zhe Yurop it do!
not be dummkopf, Amerikkka - make zhe progress too! and ikvol military!

vee haff autumn hier, very to like it! :