Comrades, our People's Director has been occupied recently (more than just another batch of the usual bad beet vodka at the tractor barn), and now we know why.
Down with the cause, fighting the power and standing up to "the man", Oleg has been incarcerated for a "class 6 felony" that amounts to triggering precious snowflakes.
I'm sure he will tell his story after his show-trial, but the piece in American Thinker posted above is pretty detailed...
Vivá LA REVOLUCIÓN!
11/16/2016, 1:56 pm
Subvet
Gee, they're all over the criminal element up there, ain't they? Perhaps a quick email as a gesture of appreciation is in order. So with that in mind...
Subvet wrote:Gee, they're all over the criminal element up there, ain't they? Perhaps a quick email as a gesture of appreciation is in order. So with that in mind...
If you feel inclined to contact any of the above: Be very, very courteous - be polite - be factual - do NOT agitate or irritate the Powers-That-Be - to do so can only worsen Red Square's dilemma.
11/16/2016, 2:17 pm
Subvet
"If you feel inclined to contact any of the above: Be very, very courteous - be polite - be factual - do NOT agitate or irritate the Powers-That-Be - to do so can only worsen Red Square's dilemma."
Thanks for that Captain Craptek, you're absolutely right!
Another report...
<off>
Is this not crazy? GMU should be thanking Oleg for his experience and perspectives, and yet they are jailing him for hanging papers. I've never met Oleg, but one day I will. This episode in American justice will be found as a case study under "travesties."
11/16/2016, 6:07 pm
Red Square
All I want to say is that the picture of me in Zazzle State Prison uniform is outdated. I have three tears tattooed under my eye now that I've been to Fairfax county jail, singing "Nobody knows the trouble I've seen."
There have been quite a few articles about my stint in various media already. Here they are below, for your reading pleasure. I've been meaning to make a separate post on the Cube about this, to keep all the updates in one place, and I hope to find time for that soon.
PJ MEDIA: The artistic genius behind the highly acclaimed satirical site The People's Cube has been arrested at GMU https://bit.ly/2fXyyPH
11/17/2016, 12:43 am
Comrade Putout
.
And Michelle was preparing to present you with this prestigious award... but you just had to go to jail! . .
You earned your third tear... best of luck Oleg! .
11/17/2016, 8:09 am
Genosse Dummkopf
In Obamerica, "5 year plan" attains a fundamentally transformed tang.
11/18/2016, 10:11 am
Captain Craptek
Vandalism News EXTRA:
Los Angeles, CA: James Otis, 52, of West Hollywood, Calif., could receive a 3 year jail sentence for vandalizing Republican Donald Trump's Hollywood Walk of Fame star according to the LAPD. Mr. Otis, millionaire business tycoon and heir to the Otis Elevator fortune, intentionally destroyed the $30,000 star by repeatedly smashing it with a sledge hammer and pick axe.
When asked why smashing $30,000 of public property might cost him 3 years in prison, yet hanging a few posters around George Mason University could put Oleg Atbashian away for 5 years Mr. Otis replied;
"That's different. Posters can leave deep and permanent psychological damage. Children's minds are still growing and quite tender - like a properly prepared plate of beef Wellington and a fine Pomerol or St. Emilion Bordeaux. But he's a hater. Besides, my great-great grandfather invented Listerine!"
Mr. Otis then held his breath, threw himself on the floor of his penthouse and began sucking his thumb and humming. His butler and maid refused comment.
11/18/2016, 2:04 pm
Chairman Meow
"Our wallpaper paste was made of wheat and water ..."
And you had this substance on a college campus???!!!!??? Don't you know what would have happened if it had fallen into the hands of one of the college students?
11/18/2016, 3:43 pm
Pamalinsky
Wow, Comrade Red Square!
Thanks for all the free publicity for The People's Cube™.
Way to troll the press!
Awesome!
11/18/2016, 4:15 pm
Comrade Stierlitz
Pamalinsky wrote:Wow, Comrade Red Square!
Thanks for all the free publicity for The People's Cube™.
Way to troll the press!
Awesome!
Pammy, remember what you were taught about the exclamation point. The exclamation-to-period ratio of your posts is getting to be too damn high. Any more and you'll be investigated for excessive misuse of kollektive grammatical resources. You're always being watched.
11/18/2016, 4:24 pm
Ivan the Stakhanovets
Comrade Sterlitz,
If Pamski chooses to binge and dump her grammatical load in one pile, it's her ration card.
When it's gone, she'll be like the rest of us, standing in line. Or more likely wheeling and dealing a semicolon on the side...
11/18/2016, 4:50 pm
Hammer and Loupe
Never settle, because you will never get to appeal.
Pamalinsky wrote:Wow, Comrade Red Square!
Thanks for all the free publicity for The People's Cube™.
Way to troll the press!
Awesome!
Pammy, remember what you were taught about the exclamation point. The exclamation-to-period ratio of your posts is getting to be too damn high. Any more and you'll be investigated for excessive misuse of kollektive grammatical resources. You're always being watched.
Jeesh, Stierlitz, I only used it thrice!!! So, sue me!!!
BTW, it was me, Pamalinsky, who pointed this out to myself and let Comrade Red know.
Again, sue me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK, I'll give you extra points of forgiveness for remembering this, but just this once!
And, I know you are my friend.
OMG! If they use the photo of me taken at the DMV I am doomed! My previous DMV photos were quite pretty, even if I do say so myself. The guy who took the photo just hated me because I was white. He was doing his job based on some genius from Perdue who thought this would be the clincher regarding catching criminals. Mugshots! The Perdue guy got his grant however. That's what really counts.
11/18/2016, 6:47 pm
Ivan the Stakhanovets
"...what do you know! GMU locked up a guy for felony distribution of adhesives! Let me be clear, if I didn't read the papers I'd be lost, this is the first I've heard of this one too..."
11/18/2016, 7:01 pm
Pamalinsky
When I was a kid, we used to make sculptures out of water, flour, and The New York Times. When we ran out of NYT paper we resorted to the inferior NY Post. We did what we had to do. That's how the Statue of Liberty was first conceived. See how that freedom thingy works?
11/18/2016, 7:46 pm
Red Square
Pamalinsky wrote:Jeesh, Stierlitz, I only used it thrice!!! So, sue me!!!
BTW, it was me, Pamalinsky, who pointed this out to myself and let Comrade Red know.
Again, sue me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK, I'll give you extra points of forgiveness for remembering this, but just this once!
And, I know you are my friend.
We need a law that would punish comrades for wasting valuable collective punctuation resources. Over eight exclamation marks in one post - a class 6 felony. Seven or fewer - online hooliganism.
You, Pamalinsky, are not just a known punctuation felon - you are a recidivist who must be required to register at the local commissariat so that the neighbors in your barack and co-workers in the tractor barn can take necessary precautions.
This application would ID me as a terrorist. Mainly because if the computer saw my face it'd blow up.
11/18/2016, 9:26 pm
Ivan the Stakhanovets
When punctuation is outllawed, only outlaws will use punctuation...
Related but separate:
When adhesives are outlawed...
11/19/2016, 12:26 am
Comrade Putout
. Ivan... your new skeptical girlfriend is upset with you! . .
You know you want her, Ivan! .
11/19/2016, 2:29 pm
Pamalinsky
Comrades Red Square and Stierlitz,
Nothing contributes more to the build-up of exclamation marks in my tortured psyche than direct questions or admonitions regarding my use of exclamation marks. Maybe I'll just switch to question marks. Yeah, that's the ticket. I mean, the issue is never the issue, nest pas?
11/19/2016, 4:14 pm
Comrade Stierlitz
Pamalinsky wrote:Comrades Red Square and Stierlitz,
Nothing contributes more to the build-up of exclamation marks in my tortured psyche than direct questions or admonitions regarding my use of exclamation marks. Maybe I'll just switch to question marks. Yeah, that's the ticket. I mean, the issue is never the issue, nest pas?
This is encouraged. The State harvests question marks from slaughtered dissenters who question the government, so naturally there is a surplus. Question away, just make sure you question the right things.
11/19/2016, 5:43 pm
Comrade Putout
.
11/19/2016, 10:34 pm
Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin
Back in my day, we typed a question mark, released and slid the carriage back, and over struck it with an exclamation mark. Back then it took REAL TALENT to interrobang.
11/20/2016, 2:22 am
Comrade Putout
.
11/20/2016, 11:03 am
Genosse Dummkopf
Pamalinsky wrote:... Again, sue me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:Back in my day, we typed a question mark, released and slid the carriage back, and over struck it with an exclamation mark ...
... type ― slide back ― overstrike ...
back then, you not just interro-banged an obtuse question mark ; nay, you banged out any incorrect type - and occasionally an incorrect think - by reverso-progressively xxxxx-ing it out of text (if not entirely out of sight). like with a cloth or something.
But wait, Comrades! (and Comrade Director first and foremost) :
When orders to appear in court flutter into the postbox, and later [by Marx, should that really happen] orders to pack toothbrush for Next 5-Year Plan arrive, couldn't that old ― hardware-based and thusly dependable ― technology be used to simply xxxxx-out all such interesting news? huh???
... alack, good ol' Triumph-Adler 1938, still chirpy and precise in the 60s, 70s, 8--
11/21/2016, 7:20 am
Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin
Comrade Putout,
Where in the world did you find that picture of my first job in the typing pool
What a typing sweat shop that was with carbon paper and type writer erasers and those little bells dinging every time someone advanced to the next line. It was like living in typing hell.
Do you see that blonde behind me off to the left of my most lovely and stylish hat? Her name escapes me at the moment being such a long time ago. She got hired to typing pool the same day I did. We even tested together. Her score was 20 WPM with 11 errors yet she got hired. I was thinking with my speed of 60 WPM and 0 errors "Well this is going to be an easy job if they hire typists like her." I was sure that my speed and accuracy would lead to a quick promotion if she was the norm.
Monday morning we start. Being the ultimate professional that I am, I go right to work and by noon I have already finished one days work and starting on the next day. I keep noticing 'the blonde' constantly going in the boss's office and other management coming and going too. I am thinking she is being reprimanded for her poor work since she was sitting up in front of me and I was able to observe her sloven and incompetent work habits.
Come Fri. the boss comes out asks 'the blonde' to come up front. I am thinking 'uh oh'. Well......
just like BADA BING BADA BOOM......he announces she has been promoted to being our direct supervisor and gets her own corner office..............I am "What the %&%$
I heard she left there, married a sleazy politician and they continued to live a scandal ridden life until it all caught up to them.
11/21/2016, 10:11 am
Genosse Dummkopf
Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:... Do you see that blonde behind me off to the left of my most lovely and stylish hat? ... name escapes me at the moment ...
... and here I instantly thought - huh! must be that "Abigale something" , the one "endowed with blat up here and blat down there (overly!)"
... until I came to see the light, uh.
". . . . married a sleazy . . . . scandal ridden life . . . . it all caught up to them."
( and what a richly endowed µ-tragigrotesque you put down here, Comrade Clara - ryespyekt! )
11/21/2016, 6:25 pm
droid1
Red Square wrote:[img]/images/GMU_Oleg_Felon.jpg[/img]
I need (re) education. Why not class 1, or class 7? What's the better number to have?
11/21/2016, 6:27 pm
Ivan the Stakhanovets
I think it's like "double secret probation" at school....
11/21/2016, 7:22 pm
Red Square
droid1 wrote:I need (re) education. Why not class 1, or class 7? What's the better number to have?
In Virginia law, felonies have 6 classes, Class 1 being the highest. The things one learns on vacation!
