3/15/2017, 3:10 am
[img]/images/various_uploads/Yankee_Imperialism_CNN_Masturbation.jpg[/img]
Texas is a very backwards place. So backwards that they're known for toxically masculine cowboys, polluting petroleum, and that symbol of Native Amerikan oppression known as the Alamo. It's a wonder that our People's Stronghold of Austin hasn't dropped off the face of the Earth yet. But, the saying "a broken clock is right twice a day unless it identifies as being right" proves itself true once again.
The title of the act is "A Man's Right To Know", introduced into the Texas house by Demokrat Jessica Farrar. Under this act, men would have to wait 24 hours before getting a colonoscopy or buying Viagra. This accomplishes a few different things, all of them good for the Party.
Number one, by restricting colonoscopies, it frees up doctor's offices for abortions. Number two, by waiting for colonoscopies, we men are punished for our male privilege and are more likely to pay reparations by dying because of prostate or bowel cancer. Number three, the 24-hour waiting period for Viagra is another reminder of privilege. And number four, the lack of Viagra will mean less actual rapes, which means the courts will be freed up for more fictional accusations of rape, which would ultimately lead to more filthy men going to jail.
However, these four things are but a piss in the pot compared to the last part of the act. Komrade Farrar has come up with possibly the greatest tax of all times. So great that even a tax on the air or the sun would crumble compared to this tax. She wants to fine a man 100 bucks every time he yanks his crank.
Komrades, think of the absolute power of this tax. Governmental revenue would multiply endlessly! We'd finally be able to afford the rockets for our "Revolutionize the Galaxy" campaign! Men would have to bow down to their Feminist overlords to get any satisfaction! It would cause a brand new era of revolution!
Those republicunts that do nothing but eat KFC and jerk it with 100 dollar bills would be taxed into the poorhouse! They'd go blind AND broke! Men would be FORCED to impregnate women so that women could experience the sheer joy of having an abortion! Or, they'd be forced to get their kicks by imitating our gay friends or our muslim friends. Truly some great stuff.
For the good of the Party, for the good of the People, for the good of the Children, and for the good of the Government, I propose that we start a national movement to get their truly revolutionary piece of legislature written into the Constitution.
Texas is a very backwards place. So backwards that they're known for toxically masculine cowboys, polluting petroleum, and that symbol of Native Amerikan oppression known as the Alamo. It's a wonder that our People's Stronghold of Austin hasn't dropped off the face of the Earth yet. But, the saying "a broken clock is right twice a day unless it identifies as being right" proves itself true once again.
The title of the act is "A Man's Right To Know", introduced into the Texas house by Demokrat Jessica Farrar. Under this act, men would have to wait 24 hours before getting a colonoscopy or buying Viagra. This accomplishes a few different things, all of them good for the Party.
Number one, by restricting colonoscopies, it frees up doctor's offices for abortions. Number two, by waiting for colonoscopies, we men are punished for our male privilege and are more likely to pay reparations by dying because of prostate or bowel cancer. Number three, the 24-hour waiting period for Viagra is another reminder of privilege. And number four, the lack of Viagra will mean less actual rapes, which means the courts will be freed up for more fictional accusations of rape, which would ultimately lead to more filthy men going to jail.
However, these four things are but a piss in the pot compared to the last part of the act. Komrade Farrar has come up with possibly the greatest tax of all times. So great that even a tax on the air or the sun would crumble compared to this tax. She wants to fine a man 100 bucks every time he yanks his crank.
Komrades, think of the absolute power of this tax. Governmental revenue would multiply endlessly! We'd finally be able to afford the rockets for our "Revolutionize the Galaxy" campaign! Men would have to bow down to their Feminist overlords to get any satisfaction! It would cause a brand new era of revolution!
Those republicunts that do nothing but eat KFC and jerk it with 100 dollar bills would be taxed into the poorhouse! They'd go blind AND broke! Men would be FORCED to impregnate women so that women could experience the sheer joy of having an abortion! Or, they'd be forced to get their kicks by imitating our gay friends or our muslim friends. Truly some great stuff.
For the good of the Party, for the good of the People, for the good of the Children, and for the good of the Government, I propose that we start a national movement to get their truly revolutionary piece of legislature written into the Constitution.
