The People's Cube - Political Satire

**8/11/2018, 9:58 am**

Transatlantic Komrades across Großer Teich, ze Big Pond - have you witnessed that? In the wee hours, as we crawled out of the cots and grabbed our shovels, leaving the barracks in orderly columns, all in lockstep and belting out revolutionary songs, in order to fight for progress in our beloved beet fields, the military(-&-space!)-industrial complex was about to bombard the very center of our Solar System with an outstandingly loony vehicle. They call it the "Palmer Solar Probe".

NYT reports that POTUS (who just so happened to stuff 700 billions and billions into space/military pockets, according to Comrade Ocasio-Sagan) requested that a beautiful, it will be beautiful, you will see, a really really beautiful ensign be put on that flying apparatus so as to dignifiedly represent America which is great and must always be first

Well, "Solar Probe" - and already today's "start"... poof!
Just as a side note: Had they put Comrade Mueller in charge of that scientific probing into solar affairs, such a slip-up for sure wouldn't have happened.

That "start" ceremony, it was in the middle of the night (by your, over ze Big Pond, TRUMP-Time). But vee Yuropeans, on Dar-al-Brusseliyah-Summer-Time, vee already haf six hours early morning shoveling done, and so vee haf breakfast, half hour, watery soup, and so vee eat eat eat and vee vatch our Kollektive Zentral Kukuruznik Tube. And ze Tube say: NASA - Solar Probe Launch, and show it:

So vee vatch.
But what a depressing orgy of white heteropatriarchal phallogocentric supremacy it was! The usual trick: moderators either f-gendered or/and progressively skin-colored. But the Solar Probers they interviewed? Uniformly white, male, mostly fat - pure kolonializm! And not a single Musulman!

Next, the "achievements" of those whiteys...
Instead of focusing on renewable sustainability of solar energy - like ze Chermans it do, for kollektive progress and global humanitarianism - it was all about solar "probing", whatever that subtextually contextualized seximorphous microaggressivity possibly means.

Constructing ostentatiously phallic rockets! Piles of environmentally catastrophic gizmos made of poisonous carbon! Transporting all that stuff by heavy bomber-like machines criss-cross America, at last to Florida. While the Global Climate aches and writhes in termic distress and despair!

And then - hydrogen all over the place, seeping out of those erected phalli!
(you remember, Komrades, da? "The bomb, Dimitri. The hydrogen bomb.")

Result? Today's "start" - delayed for "tomorrow", mañana...! That's how things "work" in the era of TRUMPism!

**8/11/2018, 5:50 pm**

Comrade Dummkopf !

You have returned - from where you do not say - and we will never ask. Nevertheless, you are here reporting on our latest display of advanced colonial transportation of the future - if there is a future. For now, the "Parker" Solar Probe seems a most peculiar designation when everyone knows it is more korrektly done with a finger - as in the bend over "Finger" Probe...

CC

**8/11/2018, 7:25 pm**

Listen, Comrade Dummkopf:

https://www.nasa.gov/feature/goddard/20 ... probe-melt

In spite of the statements of the most esteemed Rosie ODonnell, who said metal doesn't melt, so therefore 9/11 was a sham. She said metal doesn't melt (that's the way metalurgists shape them, by elevating their temps.)

Rosie, in her vast knowledge of metalurgy, said this was not possible.The experts are now saying that we can thrust an object of questionable origins toward the sun and, it will not melt.

At that point they will say they have the whole puzzle solved. The concept of Global Warming will rule the land and we will all be EFFED!

**8/12/2018, 10:24 pm**

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:... Had they put Comrade Mueller in charge of that scientific probing into solar affairs ...

Turns out, Comrade Mueller & Band is indeed involved! Actually, exactly that was the reason for the Sat→Sun lunch delay! Sources say, a last minute request was made by Mueller & Band to attach their RTCS device to NASA's Solar Probe.
("RTCS", a most equal source-Komrade splains, "stands for: Russ-Trumpian Collusion Sniffer.")

Same top source reports: Suspicious of NASA's competence, Comrade Mueller ordered the RTCS be manufactured by Steele, Strzok and Skripal Industries, Inc. based in Astrakhan Khanate, Azerbaijan (third floor, and six knocks on the door while whistling the first nine tacts of Die Internationale).
(SS&S : unblemished reputation, certified by the FISA Court on an intricately folded parchment.)

**8/12/2018, 10:48 pm**

Captain Craptek wrote:... For now, the "Parker" Solar Probe seems a most peculiar designation ... as in the bend over "Finger" Probe.

(... that was nihilistic defeatism of yesterday ...)

But now: Well, well, Solshot accomplished...

And Next Step™? .....
... Korrekt, Komrade!
Totally woke, progressives march against CAGW 2.0,
the Catastrophic Anthropogenic Galactical Warming!

P.S. The Solshot desaster, progressively documented:

**8/14/2018, 4:35 am**

Komrade GD,

Delightful to see you again. I have to admit I missed the launch of the space probe. You know how I slept through science and math classes so these scientific events are never on my 'to do' list.

Komrade Pamalinsky so aptly pointed out a few things which, now that I have thought about, I have a lack of understanding about how burning rocket fuel can melt steel and cause a building to collapse in 56 minutes but this little (compared to the enormity of the sun) probe is not going to melt as it approaches and gets right up on the SUN. From what I have been able to decipher from all these scientific explanations is, they put a big white pantie shield on the probe. (I sure hope these space age probe pantie shields end up on the feminine products aisle at the grocery store. I mean anything that can survive the heat of the sun ought to make for a pretty hot selling feminist product.)

As for Mueller, he better hope some part of his 'space probe' works because the rest of his 'collusion illusion' seems to be melting away faster than an ice cube on a globally warm side walk on a typical August day just like BADA BING BADA [BOOM], [BOOM], [BOOM].

CIZ

**8/14/2018, 1:16 pm**

Genosse Dummkopf wrote: Totally woke, progressives march against CAGW 2.0,
the Catastrophic Anthropogenic Galactical Warming!

Another most equal and densely argued rant treatise, tovarish!

In addition to the hydrogen, which you so korrectly pointed out, that gas cloud also contains oxygen, that supremely toxic gas that killed 99.99999999% of all life on Mother Gaia in the pre-Cambrian!

As for CAGW 2.0, it is best summed up in the words of comrade Bill Nyeski, the Science Guyski in his most equal manifesto Everything All At Once: "We can, (dare we say it?), change the world!"

- SK

**8/14/2018, 5:23 pm**

Chief Designer wrote:
Genosse Dummkopf wrote: Totally woke, progressives march against CAGW 2.0,
the Catastrophic Anthropogenic Galactical Warming!

Another most equal and densely argued rant treatise, tovarish!

In addition to the hydrogen, which you so korrectly pointed out, that gas cloud also contains oxygen, that supremely toxic gas that killed 99.99999999% of all life on Mother Gaia in the pre-Cambrian!

As for CAGW 2.0, it is best summed up in the words of comrade Bill Nyeski, the Science Guyski in his most equal manifesto Everything All At Once: "We can, (dare we say it?), change the world!"

- SK

We're going to change the world

**8/14/2018, 6:00 pm**

Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:Komrade GD,

Delightful to see you again. I have to admit I missed the launch of the space probe. You know how I slept through science and math classes so these scientific events are never on my 'to do' list.

Komrade Pamalinsky so aptly pointed out a few things which, now that I have thought about, I have a lack of understanding about how burning rocket fuel can melt steel and cause a building to collapse in 56 minutes but this little (compared to the enormity of the sun) probe is not going to melt as it approaches and gets right up on the SUN. From what I have been able to decipher from all these scientific explanations is, they put a big white pantie shield on the probe. (I sure hope these space age probe pantie shields end up on the feminine products aisle at the grocery store. I mean anything that can survive the heat of the sun ought to make for a pretty hot selling feminist product.)

As for Mueller, he better hope some part of his 'space probe' works because the rest of his 'collusion illusion' seems to be melting away faster than an ice cube on a globally warm side walk on a typical August day just like BADA BING BADA [BOOM], [BOOM], [BOOM].

CIZ

Most equal, Clara! While I have long since not needed them, I think your suggestion is most appropriate and equal. I mean, everyone needs a receptacle for their waste, no? By any means necessary!

**8/14/2018, 6:55 pm**

Pamalinsky wrote:... the most esteemed Rosie ODonnell, who said metal doesn't melt [&] 9/11 was a sham ...

Comrade Rosie dumb like sink pipe. Milk deficiency much?

... ah, that Comrade Rosie?
Who struts like a bipedal Bessemerbirne alias Bessemer pear (aka converter)?

**8/14/2018, 8:22 pm**

Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:... As for Mueller, he better hope some part of his 'space probe' works ...

Huh, Mueller...
Now heavily busy (on the side) with beautifying his shady, I mean, glorious past (Komrade Director reported!).

Just wait until evidence pops up of Mueller bowing to Tavarishch Yanukovych inside His famous Mezhyhirya Residence :

( the full Yanukovych palace story is a surreal post-Kommunizm-apparatchik grotesque in itself... )

Built in typical Ukrainian rustic-style (our TPC-intern experts on all things Ukrainian can surely confirm), complete with most glorious Tsarist-Scandinavian-Ancient-Greek-Roman-Baroque-NeoclassRococo-Overlook-Shining-Hotel aura plus aplenty of His-MostEqualness-Post-Kommunizm-Central-Committee-Tier-Apparatchik-Socrealist-Luxury-style, including heavily gilded accessoires du pissoir and all that cha-cha-cha.

The thingy located on the bank of mighty Dnieper (where Komrade Director used to swim or skate, depending on the Current Attack™ of Global Warming resp. Icing over the vast Ukrainian steppe).

Yanukovych's Temple of Contemplation, cacophonously combining kinda Roman catacombs
with a quickie snippet of Acropolis (bitten, oy, bitten by tempus fugit)

By Stalin's frugality, I truly recommend you a fully navigable deep visit of Yanuk-Palazzo, here.

Once there, just follow the money, I mean, the arrows (and try not to get dizzy from all that 360°-X-Y-Zoom-in-Zoom-out).

... and so, dearest CIZ, are we back to science and math - perspectives, optics, rotations in 3-dimensional Euclidean space*.

* the N-dimensional (N>3) and the non-Euclidean we do next time, ja?

... and ATTENTION, Clara: the ° are for angles, NOT Fahrenheit.

Add-on:

Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:

That Melting Ice...
I truly miss the Ultra Spiritual Guy here. He would add an edge to this contemplative event...

Imagine him, doing his shtick, say, somewhere in the middle-distance background.....
A spiritualizing shtick like, like, I dunno, let's intuit..... oh, satori - maybe Prancercising?

Huh, instant Karma Prancercising right here! :

Mystery item No. 1

(holy Marxism-Leninism, aeons ago CIZ already Kubed it!)

**8/14/2018, 10:10 pm**

Captain Craptek wrote: We're going to change the world

Penguins saving the world, yet again.

**8/14/2018, 11:18 pm**

Imperatorskiy Pingvin wrote:
Captain Craptek wrote: We're going to change the world

Penguins saving the world, yet again.

Penguins and rodents and probes, oh my!

**8/16/2018, 11:47 am**

Chief Designer wrote:... oxygen ... that killed 99.99999999% of all life on Mother Gaia in the pre-Cambrian ...

oh yeah, the glorious Great Oxygenation Event.....

(Event?? Event??? Bolshoi Purge it was,
(smiles Batyushka Yosif from under the Kremlin Wall)

[/indentr][/indentr][/indentr]
The only thing I can't grasp, is: How come, it wasn't Homo sapiens who caused it?
IPCC - ideas?

Working hypothesis: Homo sapiens, and particularly the Greedy White KKKolonizing KKKapitalist, lacks the attention span needed for a process that took, summa summarum, about 3 billion* years including a yuuuge spike extended over 300 million years.

Target thesis: For a REAL (enviro-/klimate-/gender-/..)revolution, you need the numerical quantity of the bacteria kollektive and the intellectual quality of its kollektive mind.

* @Komradette Clara: That's 3 (like in "three fingers") and then nine (like in "3×3") zeros.

BTW, how come science and politics and activism isn't worried about today's oxygen ubiquity, found literally in each corner of Gaia? When it - that oxygen - killed once, who is to say it can't kill again? Like, next Tuesday?

Just suck out all that oxygen from wherever it hides! And then it's game over for CO2 - because, how do you assemble those CO2 spheres or cubes or whatever they are, if there is no O at all, let alone O2? hah???

But no. No environmental revolution, no truly progressive geo-engineering.
Instead, with attention span of an over-oxygenated microbe, Humanity White Man takes iffy shots @Sun, or chases pussy, or - if you like - cultivates the mostest progressivest organ on Earth, The People's Cube. And that's it.

**8/16/2018, 12:09 pm**

Let us begin the purge with the most offensive "O's "...

Oprah
O'Donnell, Rosie
Omarosa
OJ Simpson
O'Riley, Bill

**8/16/2018, 6:25 pm**

Ocasio-Whatsherface
Oba...

( where is your attention span, Komrade Ivan?
( too much tractoring in Barn #2?
( chasing nutty rodents? )

[/indentr]

**8/17/2018, 10:36 am**

Comrade, must I pick ALL of the low-hanging fruit?

There are plenty of "O" people to hate...It's only equal to let others take a swing at the problem.

**8/17/2018, 2:28 pm**

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Comrade, must I pick ALL of the low-hanging fruit?

There are plenty of "O" people to hate...It's only equal to let others take a swing at the problem.

nuts

**8/17/2018, 2:56 pm**

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:... There are plenty of "O" people to hate...It's only equal to let others take a swing ...

ponyatno, tavarishch 350%.

And the first decadent Menshevik scum that proposes someone who starts with "O" and ends with "leg", he/she/xzyzx gets the tractorized 450% full metal icepick, da?

**8/17/2018, 3:03 pm**

Captain Craptek wrote:
Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Comrade, must I pick ALL of the low-hanging fruit?

There are plenty of "O" people to hate...It's only equal to let others take a swing at the problem.

nuts

Beets

**8/17/2018, 4:45 pm**

Imperatorskiy Pingvin wrote:
Captain Craptek wrote:
Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Comrade, must I pick ALL of the low-hanging fruit? ...
nuts
Beets

This from those two Komrades who appear (nothing personal here, just objective scientific fact*) pretty fruity, speciesistically.

Wenn das der Führer wüß... ___________________ (← pardon, pardon, regressive time leap ...)
When that comes to Komradette RedD's attention...

* documented :

Captain Craptek wrote:
Imperatorskiy Pingvin wrote:
Captain Craptek wrote:We're going to change the world
Penguins saving the world, yet again.
Penguins and rodents and probes, oh my! ... [ for sure a Polar, not a Solar - ahem - "probe" ]

**8/18/2018, 7:03 am**

Chief Designer wrote:... comrade Bill Nyeski ... "We can, (dare we say it?), change the world!"

uh, comrade Nyeski... (Nyetski he isn't, full of affirmative acclaim for a hopin'-n-changin' progress towards Next Tuesday™ by all means necessary)

Mystery item No. 2

**8/18/2018, 12:10 pm**

In all things related to space, we need to consult our resident space expert Laika.

For now we have only received a short transmission:

Stupid American capitalists launched the sun rocket at night. Ha, ha, ha! How did they know where to point it? However, during the day the sun would have melted it. Do they know something our Soviet scientists don't? Need to spy more.

**8/18/2018, 4:05 pm**

Red Square wrote:In all things related to space, we need to consult our resident space expert Laika.

For now we have only received a short transmission:

Stupid American capitalists launched the sun rocket at night. Ha, ha, ha! How did they know where to point it? However, during the day the sun would have melted it. Do they know something our Soviet scientists don't? Need to spy more.

Like_Boss.jpg

But first - take care of pupniks!

Craptek Pixel Recycle 13329

**8/18/2018, 11:40 pm**

**8/19/2018, 10:13 am**

Captain Craptek wrote:

... and Stanley Kubrick plus Zarathustra "BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM" Guy put the exalted accompaniment :

Mystery item No. 3

**8/19/2018, 10:35 am**

That's the best visual representation of a musical meme I've ever seen. Totally recognizable!

**8/19/2018, 11:15 am**

Red Square wrote:That's the best visual representation of a musical meme I've ever seen. Totally recognizable!

Yes! And Comrade Dummkopf even moved the sunrise from N Amerika to a more korrekt spot over Europe - and included yours truly! All this without emptying the diaper - genius!

**8/19/2018, 3:31 pm**

Red Square wrote:That's the best visual representation of a musical meme I've ever seen. Totally recognizable!

As a musician, graphic artist and aspiring writer, I would have to agree with Comrade Red. Genosse,
Du bist furchtbar!

**8/19/2018, 7:56 pm**

Pamalinsky wrote:... Genosse,
Du bist furchtbar!

oh, zänk yu, zänk yu sou mutsh, Pämmi !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(check it out!)

(yet no worry, Pammie - I reckon that you mean an equivalent of sharing two spoons of your today's portion of watery soup with yours truly ;-)

BTW, Komrades - Laika (above) works hard on probing the probe. Proof coming soon!
(assuredly within Current Pyatilyetka™).

For Komrades of insatiable curiosity (yolki-palki - wasn't evening's kasha satiating enough???) : pyat' ≈ five, and lyet ≈ years.
While -ka indicates (in this case) "a thing derived by combining pyat' and lyet ".

**8/20/2018, 2:35 pm**

Ha, Comrade Genosse!

What I meant to do was use the effusive French compliment "Tu es formidable!" to describe how equal someone's action were or even how they looked. It was used often awhile back but maybe something was lost in the translation. Hmmmm?i.e., what you did was so excellent no one can approach your excellence!

**8/20/2018, 11:43 pm**

Pam - I thought your translated "awesome" that also means "terrible."

As in Ivan the Awesome and Dummkopf the Terrible.

**8/21/2018, 3:08 am**

Pamalinsky wrote:... use the effusive French compliment "Tu es formidable!" ...

Red Square wrote:Pam - I thought your translated "awesome" that also means "terrible."

As in Ivan the Awesome and Dummkopf the Terrible.

With my, however oldwhitemanskinned paleoprotodinosauriamorphously hippocampuphytopathohypothalamutalmudic and phallogocentrifugalistically heteropatriarchalizonous - gasp - intuition, (and amazing how easy Humanity's reading abilities are derailed to nearly nought nil nada zero zilch zip, ain't it?), I instantly had a faint afflatus that of course you, Komradette Pamsky, meant this:

And in the Era of Trump, anybody - even a leftish idiot glorious socialist - knows what "tremendous" means, ja?

"tremendous" = "yuuuge" = "incredible" = "winning again" = "believe me" = "you will like it" = "like never before" = "billions and billions of dollars" = "make you all great again".

... and then, of course, there is also this:

(check it out!)

which says [upscale] and comments the "awesome"/"terrible" duality
present also in German semantics [impressive] [oldspeak also: frightening]

[/indentr][/indentr]

Uzhas!
With Humanity that much semantically fucked up, how can there be any hope for Next Tuesday™?

**8/21/2018, 9:27 am**

Red Square wrote:...As in Ivan the Awesome...

If there was a promotion, I haven't seen it in my pay statement or ration cards. Must have been the brain in the jar. Congrats to the other Ivan.

**8/21/2018, 3:27 pm**

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
Pamalinsky wrote:... use the effusive French compliment "Tu es formidable!" ...
Red Square wrote:Pam - I thought your translated "awesome" that also means "terrible."

As in Ivan the Awesome and Dummkopf the Terrible.
With my, however oldwhitemanskinned paleoprotodinosauriamorphously hippocampuphytopathohypothalamutalmudic and phallogocentrifugalistically heteropatriarchalizonous - gasp - intuition, (and amazing how easy Humanity's reading abilities are derailed to nearly nought nil nada zero zilch zip, ain't it?), I instantly had a faint afflatus that of course you, Komradette Pamsky, meant this:

And in the Era of Trump, anybody - even a leftish idiot glorious socialist - knows what "tremendous" means, ja?

"tremendous" = "yuuuge" = "incredible" = "winning again" = "believe me" = "you will like it" = "like never before" = "billions and billions of dollars" = "make you all great again".

... and then, of course, there is also this:

(check it out!)

which says [upscale] and comments the "awesome"/"terrible" duality
present also in German semantics [impressive] [oldspeak also: frightening]
[/indentr][/indentr]

Uzhas!
With Humanity that much semantically fucked up, how can there be any hope for Next Tuesday™?

Ach du liebe Zeit!

Komrade Genosse Dummkopf: Get over yourself!

OK, I admit to being lost in the semantic sea but the word, which rung a bell in my “JiffiLobo™” brain was “IMPRESSIVE.” Not “TREMENDOUS”. Yeah, that's it. I wanted to say it all along but just couldn't find it.

As a product of our current school system I offer a tribute to Aretha Franklin who speaks for me:

ABCDEFG Find out what it means to me!

Please show some respect for my ignorance!

Thank you,
Pamalinsky

**8/21/2018, 3:52 pm**

Pamalinsky wrote:

Please show some respect ..........

Er.........Pammie, shouldn't that be R-E-S-P-I-C-T?

**8/21/2018, 4:11 pm**

Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:
Pamalinsky wrote:

Please show some respect ..........

Er.........Pammie, shouldn't that be R-E-S-P-I-C-T?

Nah, R-E-S-P-I-C-T doesn't even cover it. A-B-C-D-E-F-G is more inclusive and "fair."

**8/21/2018, 10:45 pm**

Pamalinsky wrote:Nah, R-E-S-P-I-C-T doesn't even cover it. A-B-C-D-E-F-G is more inclusive and "fair."

And yet it excludes 73% of the Latin alphabet, all other alternative alphabets, and all other non-phonetic writing systems. It is also biased against and thus discriminates against the illiterate, the majority of which are minorities.

**8/21/2018, 11:27 pm**

Imperatorskiy Pingvin wrote:
Pamalinsky wrote:Nah, R-E-S-P-I-C-T doesn't even cover it. A-B-C-D-E-F-G is more inclusive and "fair."
And yet it excludes 73% of the Latin alphabet, all other alternative alphabets, and all other non-phonetic writing systems. It is also biased against and thus discriminates against the illiterate, the majority of which are minorities.

At least the illiterate won't discover this by reading about it in The NY Times!

**9/6/2018, 4:08 pm**

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
And then - hydrogen all over the place, seeping out of those erected phalli!
(you remember, Komrades, da? "The bomb, Dimitri. The hydrogen bomb.")

Result? Today's "start" - delayed for "tomorrow", mañana...! That's how things "work" in the era of TRUMPism!

The People's Cube - Political Satire

We have seen the Solar Probe future, and it doesn't work