10/4/2018, 11:38 am
They say that if somebody is doing something for a while, they're doing it right. Therefore, all who give participation trophies are doing it right. This prompted me to investigate why. No need to call upon The People to investigate, I did it all by myself. And what I discovered will shock everyone, so keep reading.
From that State-Approved study, I have discovered why people give out these things that encourage one to be as shallow as possible feel very important doing bare minimum activity: everyone needs a nanny State, hence why we have the OnStar Button, the Nanny Button, and most recently, The People's Life Alert. It is therefore very important that I get on with it, and bring up the main point: we here at the Cube have developed our own participation trophy*, and best of all, EVERYONE READING THIS HAS WON THAT PEOPLE'S PARTICIPATION TROPHY!!!!
That's right, everyone who is reading this has won The People's participation trophy*, and has not realised that they did. That's why I'm here to tell you that all of you have won it.
That's right, you shocked labouring proles that work tirelessly to bring about The Glorious World of Next Tuesday™, YOU win a participation trophy, YOU win a participation trophy, YOU win a participation trophy, and EVERYONE ELSE who wants one wins a participation trophy!!!!
And everyone can cheer, because beyond a shadow of doubt, this is the participation trophies of participation trophies. This is the most ultimate participation trophy to exist in the history of existence. There is simply no other participation trophy, or anything at all, like it, nowhere near as close as this one because chances are, they're far more significant than a participation trophy.
*One must quietly admit that is is more filling winning a participation trophy for being on here; after all, The Cube in and of itself is known to fill you up very much...
From that State-Approved study, I have discovered why people give out these things that encourage one to be as shallow as possible feel very important doing bare minimum activity: everyone needs a nanny State, hence why we have the OnStar Button, the Nanny Button, and most recently, The People's Life Alert. It is therefore very important that I get on with it, and bring up the main point: we here at the Cube have developed our own participation trophy*, and best of all, EVERYONE READING THIS HAS WON THAT PEOPLE'S PARTICIPATION TROPHY!!!!
That's right, everyone who is reading this has won The People's participation trophy*, and has not realised that they did. That's why I'm here to tell you that all of you have won it.
That's right, you shocked labouring proles that work tirelessly to bring about The Glorious World of Next Tuesday™, YOU win a participation trophy, YOU win a participation trophy, YOU win a participation trophy, and EVERYONE ELSE who wants one wins a participation trophy!!!!
And everyone can cheer, because beyond a shadow of doubt, this is the participation trophies of participation trophies. This is the most ultimate participation trophy to exist in the history of existence. There is simply no other participation trophy, or anything at all, like it, nowhere near as close as this one because chances are, they're far more significant than a participation trophy.
*One must quietly admit that is is more filling winning a participation trophy for being on here; after all, The Cube in and of itself is known to fill you up very much...
