The People's Cube - Political Satire

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Washington D.C. -- In time to get home for Christmas after receiving surgery for broken ribs, head wounds, extraction from a comatose state into semi-consciousness, and lung cancer surgery, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg whose age is estimated to be between 85 and 185, any good guess will suffice, announced that she is immortal.

She said she's the most fit candidate to fly to Mars on Elon Musk's project to save humanity in imminent danger of extinction.

Musk intends to populate the red planet with humans willing to endure the long, stressful and dangerous journey. Mars is Musk's backup plan to save humanity after human life ceases to exist on the day Trump steps down, and/or when global warming floods the entire surface of the earth.

Whichever comes first.

Ginsburg said that her eggs are perfect and she's ready to reproduce humanity on a grand scale all by herself after she has landed and set up shop on Mars. Or, given a choice, any other planet that voted Democrat and has no ICE agents.

At Space-X headquarters Elon Musk, the CEO, said that he is thrilled to hear about Ginsburg's rapid recovery from the afterlife. He will certainly consider her request to lead the journey to a planet of her choice, or even a dimension not ours.

Musk suggested that she can administer to her cases from outer space - replicating the similar rulings she has made during the Obama years from the Twilight Zone.

While interviewed about her plans, Ginsburg nodded off for eighteen hours. When she awoke, she jumped out of bed and did 35 pushups on a negative incline, and then, with a single karate chop, smashed her dining room table into toothpicks. She smiled at the reporter, mumbled something about "the Republicans will get rid of me after the second coming," and then nodded off again.

Asked about the changes to the court, the other SCOTUS justices will refuse to accompany Ginsberg on her journey or to respond to her sexual advances. Or to consider any other cases of importance to the nation. The men said they are tired at their age, want to go home for dinner or to take a nap, and one replied: "It's not my job."

Is RBG immortal? There are many obsolete technologies that people thought would last forever - typewriters, landlines, folding maps, tape recorders, analog film, slide projectors, print media... RBG (Red, Blue, Green) is one of them, now successfully replaced by HDMI.

And yet, progressive activists like Amy Siskind post selfies in a T-shirt that say, "Sacrifice me for RBG."

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Indeed, I believe the radiation dose our beloved RBG would receive during her Martian visit would be just the ticket to cleanse her of any nasty Trump induced cancer.

How dare you assume Comrade Ginsburg's gender and sexual orientation?

Red Square wrote:How dare you assume Comrade Ginsburg's gender and sexual orientation?

Comrade Square,

Tsk, tsk...I assume you are proffering a personal judgment of Comrade Whoopie's assumption of Comrade Ginsburg's presumed sexual orientation? (assuming it exists) Hmmm?


C. Craptek

(the unassuming)

OBAMA APPOINTS JUSTICE GINSBURG FOR AFTERLIFE SCOTUS SEAT
Washington DC December 2018

After leaving the White House for the White House in Exile, aka "RESIST!," a few blocks from his former residence, President Obama has set up shop to await his triumphal return to the Oval Office in 2020. Kept under wraps until now, we now know that on December 2016, as a gift to the Supreme Court, Obama conferred the first afterlife appointment for Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. The appointment will be confirmed when Congress is seated in January.

Constitutional experts informed this reporter that SCOTUS' justices normally get a lifetime appointment. Ginsburg's is the nation's first beyond the afterlife appointment. At the secret ceremony attended by New York Senator Chuck Schumer and California legislator Nancy Pelosi, George Soros, Michael Moore, and foreign policy and national security experts Madonna and Kate Perry, Obama announced Ginsburg's permanent seat from the afterlife. He cited what has already become public policy and the national norm.

"We have successfully voted Democrat for over a half century from beyond the grave and the afterlife. Our Democrats vote many times in the same election cycle, because YES, WE CAN!, and will continue to do so in spite of minor inconveniences like morbidity and decomposition," said President Obama, adding, "There is no logical reason why a Supreme Court Justice like our faithful Ruth cannot weaken our nation and open our borders permanently by ruling from the afterlife."

President Obama continued, "We do not have to put up with justices who read arcane stuff like the US Constitution and then take it seriously. Let's face it, words have meaning, especially my words. Your words do not. For example, take the joke that is the Constitution. It was written at another time when muskets were the norm. Republicans are clueless about it. We have successfully eliminated muskets, no one complained, and we can successfully eliminate other unnecessary firearms, meaning all of them except those that guard our bodies.

It's obvious, isn't it, our bodies are more valuable than your bodies, no?

We can rid ourselves of the Bill of Rights too, because rights are wrong, racist, sexist, homophobe, and the Bill has no provisions to include income inequality solutions, Safe Spaces, Crying Rooms, Transgender bathrooms, skirts for boys, Sharia as the law of the land, and gas chambers for Jews who will not submit."

The few reporters present who swore to remain silent about this matter will be free to report on Ruth Bader Ginsburg's immortalization and beatification ceremony after Congress has been seated in January.


(FLASH! The latest rumor is that senatorial candidate Beto O'Rourke who will run for president after his large victory in Texas proved he's the Democrat's best hope, has appointed himself majority leader, pushing the Republican in the same seat, aside, Beto told the large audience of sixteen millenials that with him in the office, this time the nation will get someone with a track record of real accomplishments).

In keeping with the spirit of recycling...