The People's Cube - Political Satire

[img]/images/Purple_NCP.jpg[/img]

Greetings Glorious Comrades! It is so comforting to be back in the Cube, after years busily plotting a glorious revolution Down Under. I wouldn't call it a failure, but we have (temporarily) fallen back into the grasp of racist sexist, Trump-loving capitalist colonisers with PM Scott Morrison. We will re-group, at least until Next Tuesday.

In order to bleed the beast from inside, I now have a job within a state government department (we shall call it the Department of Corruptions and Retribution). It turns out DOCR are sympathetic to glorious progressive morals. They are practically an LGBTI activist group, the way they gloriously promote WEAR IT PURPLE DAY, elevating the oppressed, non-vocal, humble rainbow minorities using taxpayer funds and resources, and re-educate any employees who don't participate

As we all know, LGBTIQUILTBAG people are the most persecuted people in the world in the history of ever, and anyone who doesn't agree is clearly a bigot and worse than Hitler.

Glorious details here:

Wear it Purple day in Victoria

However, there are many other oppressed minorities in the world requiring tokenistic social justice activities so we can all virtue-signal on their behalf. I am hoping to submit the following to DOCR. If my glorious comrades on TPC can think of any others, please let me know!

Amnesty for Agoraphobes

This is to highlight the discrimination against agoraphobes who are unemployed on account of never leaving the house. Employees are heartily encouraged to be immobile at their workstation all day, in solidarity. Pack lunches and porta-potties will be circulated.

The Hannibal Lecter Award for Misunderstood Transgender Axe Murderers

Axe murderers are born that way. Statistics prove that the incarceration rate of transgendered axe murderers is WAY above the rate for non-transgendered non-axe murderers - an unspeakable injustice! It also has a great acronym, too: HLAMTAM. We love acronyms here at DOCR, IMO, LOLZ!

Finger Down Throat Thursday

Anorexics are obese people trapped in the body of a slim person. Judging someone 'slim' just because they look that way, is a hate crime. Staff will be heavily advised to shout "hey fatty!" at skinny people (be careful not to be overheard by actual fat people, as they may be offended and require a day of their own. Speaking of which...)

Full-Bodied Friday

Full bodied people must feel included. Staff will be coerced encouraged to engage in boycotts against *airlines who might have thought about charging full bodied people for two or more seats. A perfectly appropriate use of department resources! (*excluding QANTAS, who have a proven record of diversity and inclusion after sacking that Polynesian rugby player for saying something religious.)

Wiccan Wednesday

Apparently two witches were burned at the stake a few centuries ago by pastors. Although there is no actual proof, this mass genocide at the hands of the oppressive white male Christian patriarchy must be highlighted! Staff will be demanded asked nicely to wear a witch's hat (providing it does not come across as cultural misappropriation).

Bestiality Bi-annual Bash

How did we miss this beauty!? BBB is already celebrated abroad by NAMGLA-- the North America Man-Goat Love Association. After all, love is love! Staff will be voluntarily forced to wear lapel badges of small furry animals wrapped in masking tape.

Pansexual Party day

For any non-binary genders we may have missed. Because failing to acknowledge something about which you had absolutely no way of knowing…is a hate crime!

* * *
I welcome any suggestions about ensuring oppressed minority groups are disproportionately recognised at the expense of others. Proof of oppression is not required (in fact, it is discouraged).

Welcome back, comrade Beelzebob. That said, are you sure you want to use "LGBT education" and "down under" in one sentence? I don't think it means what you think it means.

Red Square wrote:Welcome back, comrade Beelzebob. That said, are you sure you want to use "LGBT education" and "down under" in one sentence? I don't think it means what you think it means.

So, I see you have attended the Bestiality Bi-Annual Bash.You are quite right about the glorious double-meaning, Comrade Red! Words having two meanings represents good value, proving the value of socialism. It's like how wind farms serve the dual purpose of providing cheap, clean, bountiful energy, and killing unwanted air fowl.

PROG OFF(Thanks for the graphic!)

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

"You have the right to be proud of who you are" - unless you belong to an unauthorized identity group that's not on the roster of pride-worthy identities.

If your identity hasn't been authorized by the state as pride-worthy, you must pay with your taxes so that the authorized identity groups can parade their pride in front of you.



If you can't be "proud of who you are" without having taxpayers pay for it, then maybe you should consider that "who you are" isn't really something to be proud about.

This has inspired me to create a new Peoples' Activity Calendar:

Muslim Monday
Celebrate Muhummad (PBUH) and all Esteemed Komrades of the International Caliphate.

Red Terror Tuesday
Remember those brave Komrades who carried out the Glorious Red Terror by throwing darts at a picture of Donald Trump. Or if you live in an area where it is permissible, find the richest man in the village, kill him, and eat him.

Wiccan Wednesday
Engage in all activities doubleplusunsmiled upon by KKKhristian, Jooish, or Western philosophy.

Thoughtkriminal Thursday
Report someone you know as a thoughtkriminal. They don't have to have actually done anything.

Sexual Saturday
Every odd-numbered week, have sex with a donkey to help our Muslim komrades feel more at-home. Every even-numbered week, have sex with a transgendered komrade to help them feel more at peace.

Censorship Sunday
Report somebody on social media and have them censored or banned. Bonus points if they're right wing or libertarian.

Red Square wrote:PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

"You have the right to be proud of who you are" - unless you belong to an unauthorized identity group that's not on the roster of pride-worthy identities.

If your identity hasn't been authorized by the state as pride-worthy, you must pay with your taxes so that the authorized identity groups can parade their pride in front of you.



If you can't be "proud of who you are" without having taxpayers pay for it, then maybe you should consider that "who you are" isn't really something to be proud about.

[OFF]

In my life, I've met a few normal, average gay folks. Not LGBT folks, just gay folks with their own lives and own personalities. They all have said that the LGBT people do not speak for them and that this "proud of who you are" culture is toxic and gives rise and assent to very significant physical, mental, and spiritual sickness. One of them, who doesn't like to talk about his being gay, said that virtually all the people he met in the LGBT sphere had no personality and were desperately trying to substitute being gay in lieu of a personality.

In my view, the LGBT group has been falsely defined as a "community". They are not a community, by their behavior they are at the least a loosely-organized PAC, and at the most a leftist paramilitary organization. IE the original Antifa.

They're nothing more than big babies that have become big bullies, defendants without plaintiffs, and who have not done gay people any favors the past 30 years, but have dragged them kicking and screaming into the lions' den. Except that, in this new lion's den, the LGBT Daniel does not have the mouths of the lions shut, he instead begs the lions to kill and devour him.

I think that it's funny that the LGBT group, which spawned out of a traditionally anti-imperialist political worldview, has itself become an overwhelming, domineering cultural empire. An empire which, like Hitler's Nazi empire, just wants more and more and more for themselves without any concern for the people they blitzkrieg and steamroll over.

Comrade Stierlitz wrote: In my view, the LGBT group has been falsely defined as a "community". They are not a community, by their behavior they are at the least a loosely-organized PAC, and at the most a leftist paramilitary organization. IE the original Antifa.

This is exactly what Dave Chappelle is saying in his new special on Netflix, Sticks and Stones, and this is why he is being trashed in the media and on his way to become a non-person.

I highly recommend watching it. Not family-friendly for sure - you've been warned.

Red Square wrote:PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

"You have the right to be proud of who you are" - unless you belong to an unauthorized identity group that's not on the roster of pride-worthy identities.

If your identity hasn't been authorized by the state as pride-worthy, you must pay with your taxes so that the authorized identity groups can parade their pride in front of you.



If you can't be "proud of who you are" without having taxpayers pay for it, then maybe you should consider that "who you are" isn't really something to be proud about.

'pelipsky has long thought...and this is a mythical horned rodent doing the thinkin' here..so there's that...but it seems that only those constitutional rights that are paid for by taxpayers to achieve manifestation are actual protected constitutional rights. Those free endowed rights from some Big Brain other than the State are in fact non-existent by order of the Supreme Court authorized by The Constitution. If the State cannot collect taxes to pay for the manifestation of a protected right - then that right is constitutionally NON-Compliant and NON-existent.

'pelipsky discovered this Current Truth years ago in weekly public school teacher/staff meeting when 'pelipsky just blurted out in rush of think/speak, "B..bbbb..but students have to achieve...to feel good about themselves." 'pelipsky didn't realize increasing the cash flow from Federal Tax Collection Plate Trough was contingent on eradicating that first step of actual learning accomplishment. The increased funding WAS the accomplishment that made the public school campus feel good about ourselves...actual success in education that required no additional funds - just application of teaching to inspire learning was an accounting detriment on the balance sheet report and therefore worthless in the community public school district administration.

Since that hare-brained outburst which required extensive basement mental spa treatments 'pelipsky learned accepted that if a constitutional right can't be increased billed to back to the taxpayer...it is in fact a punishable crime... if not an out right admission of insanity as authorized by the State organized by The Constitution.

forelock tug,
jackalopelipsky
#BR 549

Comrade Stierlitz wrote:This has inspired me to create a new Peoples' Activity Calendar:

Muslim Monday
Celebrate Muhummad (PBUH) and all Esteemed Komrades of the International Caliphate.

Red Terror Tuesday
Remember those brave Komrades who carried out the Glorious Red Terror by throwing darts at a picture of Donald Trump. Or if you live in an area where it is permissible, find the richest man in the village, kill him, and eat him.

Wiccan Wednesday
Engage in all activities doubleplusunsmiled upon by KKKhristian, Jooish, or Western philosophy.

Thoughtkriminal Thursday
Report someone you know as a thoughtkriminal. They don't have to have actually done anything.

Sexual Saturday
Every odd-numbered week, have sex with a donkey to help our Muslim komrades feel more at-home. Every even-numbered week, have sex with a transgendered komrade to help them feel more at peace.

Censorship Sunday
Report somebody on social media and have them censored or banned. Bonus points if they're right wing or libertarian.

Such excellent work, comrade Stierlitz. Especially Thoughtkriminal Thursday. In my gov'mint workplace, Human Resources have always been ready to take calls from offended people who have overheard inappropriate jokes which have absolutely nothing to do with them, in order to denounce the non-person joke-teller...in some cases, resulting in dismissal. Why not make a day out of it, include a vegan barbeque and streamers. Denouncement day!

I like it. A lot. That's going straight into the suggestion box.

Beelzebob Brown wrote:Such excellent work, comrade Stierlitz. Especially Thoughtkriminal Thursday. In my gov'mint workplace, Human Resources have always been ready to take calls from offended people who have overheard inappropriate jokes which have absolutely nothing to do with them, in order to denounce the non-person joke-teller...in some cases, resulting in dismissal. Why not make a day out of it, include a vegan barbeque and streamers. Denouncement day!

I like it. A lot. That's going straight into the suggestion box.

I am not sure about this vegan barbecue. How will we be able to burn heretics if the barbecue must be vegan?

RedDiaperette wrote: I am not sure about this vegan barbecue. How will we be able to burn heretics if the barbecue must be vegan?