The People's Cube - Political Satire

Fellow World Patriots and all those from the motherland of Africa,

I gave much thought to gracing you, um, the little people of the Cube, with my uh articulate, awesomely clean manner and sophisticated, unrivaled intelligence. I uh, thought it was worth my personal time, if only for a few precious moment, knowing uh, how much it would mean, to you. (*)

I came here, uh, to make it perfectly clear, uh, that my plan is moving forward, uh, as I planned and um, right on schedule, which I know, will uh, please all of you real patriots of "hope & change". (*)

My bills have been passed and uh signed, by me, you know that's the way it works - that is for the moment (ha ha), I must uh waste time with Congress. In these bills I have uh successfully begun dismantling this Republic, (cause it ain't gonna stand. You can, uh, quote me on that).

I personally own, uh, auto companies, banks, Freddie & Fannie; doctors and hospitals are afraid of, uh, what I will do next (ha ha), so they are compliant as expected. I have closed oil drill'n in those red Gulf states, controlling yet another, uh, part of the economy. I have the ability, now, uh, to get into anyone's bank accounts and assess how much the government needs, to uh, redistribute to you, the working class (*) After my Cap and Trade bill is signed, by me, I will have complete dominance over all the people. (*)

MY plan to embarrass Breitbart worked well and now we are, uh, ready to call out, not only the racist in the Teabagging party (ha ha) "racist" but are moving forward to control and shut down, the racist talk go'n on in the disinformational talk radio and Fox News. (*)

It won't be long, uh, you, the little people, the working class, union members, will have your revenge against the all powerful white class of racist, money hungry capitalist. (*)

Trust in ME. Hope in ME. Stand up for ME. VOTE FOR ME and I WILL DELIVER. (*)

*applause! applause! (mandatory)

I am so thrilled to see such as yourself amongst the lowly proles. And love the way you have grasped the usage of personal pronouns. Did you learn that in public schools here or in your motherland?

I will continue to applaud in silence (so there is no need to contact the FBI or FEMA)

OMG! My scalp actually tingled sir! Our most equal Lord Fuhrer Fecal is here! <swoon> Please sir, what can I do as a humble prole to help speed the path to Next Tuesday that you have so graciously and tirelessly worked to bring about, in all your brilliance? When can we begin to savage and burn the Fixed News building, and publicly execute its racist occupants? The show trials have completed already in the state run media, now it's time to get down to the real business of social justice! And first to the people's gallows will be that evil racist comrade Beck! Ohh how he mocks you Lord Fuhrer, but not for much longer!

Komrade Turboski wrote: And first to the people's gallows will be that evil racist comrade Beck! Ohh how he mocks you Lord Fuhrer, but not for much longer!

I humbly request (forms in triplicate, of course) the t-shirt & button concession at the public hanging of the National Imperial Wizard BECK.

Collective calm is needed here Comrades. Yes, the Purges must begin, but may I suggest that they need to begin with the left wing bloggers. They are meeting as I write this to undermine the Diviness that is our beloved, Dear Fuhrer! They, these pseudo Socialists, are saying that Dear Leader has not gone FAR ENOUGH! That he's, gasp, choke, not FAR LEFT ENOUGH!

Dear Fuhrer,
Please give us a heads up in the future. We had to take Comrade Saint Peloski to the emergency room. She jumped up and applauded at your every word and exhausted herself.

Thanks you, thank you... I gladly,uh umm, accept your praise!

Now, about those votes. You can't depend on ACORN to do all the heavy lift'n this time, uh, around. It will be up to you, uh, to find voters, wherever they are; get them to the poles, uh, several, several times. Every votes must count, twice - 3 times, if I am to get the people's work done!

Please feel free, with, umm, only a minimal charge, to download my photo and signature for a keepsake.

Komrade Turboski, sir, yes, I uhh, understand. Many of you people have bladder control problems, when, uh, you hear my audacious speeches. (ha ha) It has become commonplace. Mr. Grigori, you do know who I AM, do you not? Ms. Peloski is - well, uh, she is whoever. In congress? (haha). I AM myself, after all. Four more years may not, uh, be enough to get it all done! Be prepared, workers, be prepared to move forward for 12 years, so I can uh, go FAR ENOUGH. (**)

(bows to my own reflection in a piece of glass and farts)

Welcome Fuhrer,

It's high time you clicked your heals here at the Cube.

Lord Fuhrer Fecal, thank you so much for bestowing these soothing words of wisdom and reassurance on the collective today. We all wait impatiently for the Hope and Change of Next Tuesday, but it will soon come! Obama Lord Furher Fecal urges liberals to 'keep up the fight' "Change hasn't come fast enough for too many Americans. I know that," Obama Lord Furher Fecal said in a surprise video appearance to liberal activists and bloggers at Las Vegas convention. "I know it hasn't come fast for many of you who fought so hard during the election." "Just a few more edits to go-- patience my subjects, keep the faith" said Lord fecal:

Dear Lord Fuhrer, with a birthday coming up I have read with sadness that you will be spending this holy day away from your beloved Michelle. We little people of course wish to help provide the necessary cheer for this glorious occasion. But the question is sir, what gifts might possibly be worthy of this great event, for after all it is indeed celebrating the very arrival of our long awaited progressive Savior?

Oh and with dear Michelle, her Royal Bitterness out of town, where also might be a worthy venue to hold this grand celebration?

We should give Obama the one thing every man desires...tits

(He'll need implants if Hillary challenges him in 2012)

Lord Furher, what a noble statement marking the start of Ramadan for America and the world! You have sent a clear signal that the current administration will have nothing to do with that filthy "C" word around the winter solstice holiday, but let the white house kickoff party begin for Ramadan <woot-woot>! Thank you for this clear signal to fellow mooslims around the world, they have their man in the white house now and it's party time! Soon there will no longer even be a need to keep it on the down low- what a glorious time this hope and change has brought us, the proletariat!
Home•Briefing Room• Statements & Releases

The White House
Office of the Press Secretary
For Immediate Release
August 11, 2010
Statement by the President on the Occasion of Ramadan
On behalf of the American people, Michelle and I want to extend our best wishes to Muslims in America and around the world. Ramadan Kareem.
Ramadan is a time when Muslims around the world reflect upon the wisdom and guidance that comes with faith, and the responsibility that human beings have to one another, and to God. This is a time when families gather, friends host iftars, and meals are shared. But Ramadan is also a time of intense devotion and reflection – a time when Muslims fast during the day and pray during the night; when Muslims provide support to others to advance opportunity and prosperity for people everywhere (me- LOL). For all of us must remember that the world we want to build – and the changes that we want to make – must begin in our own hearts, and our own communities.
These rituals remind us of the principles that we hold in common, and Islam's role in advancing justice, progress, tolerance, and the dignity of all human beings (me again- LOL). Ramadan is a celebration of a faith known for great diversity and racial equality. And here in the United States, Ramadan is a reminder that Islam has always been part of America and that American Muslims have made extraordinary contributions to our country. And today, I want to extend my best wishes to the 1.5 billion Muslims around the world – and your families and friends – as you welcome the beginning of Ramadan.
I look forward to hosting an Iftar dinner celebrating Ramadan here at the White House later this week, and wish you a blessed month.
May God's peace be upon you.
Read a translation:Arabic|Bengali|Dari|French|Hindi|Indonesian|Pashto|Persian|Punjabi|Russian|Turkish|Urdu

Komrade Turboski,
Your Statement by the President on the Occasion of Ramadan would be perfect for the post Wish Hussien Obama a Happy "Holiday"

Lord Fuhrer, thank you for advocating for the 911 mosque for our mooslimic comrades in arms. This helps accelerate the arrival of our World of Next Tuesday ™. Again, thank you sir. And i must compliment you on your most excellent use of the standard Smooth Deceptions ™ to help keep the wool over infidel eyes while we steadily take over their country. None can match your awesome intellect sir, none can! <tingle tingle>

https://voices.washingtonpost.com/44/2010/08/obamas-remarks-about-ground-ze.html

"...And let us also remember who we're fighting against, and what we're fighting for. Our enemies respect no religious freedom.Al Qaeda's cause is not Islam -- it's a gross distortion of Islam.(smooth deception #1)These are not religious leaders --they're terrorists who murder innocent men and women and children(smooth deception #2. In fact, al Qaeda has killed more Muslims than people of any other religion-- and that list of victims includes innocent Muslims who were killed on 9/11. "

Of course Smooth Deception ™ #1 is what also allows all the other smooth deceptions ™ to proceed. An outright lie, as many aged, respected imams and clerics confirm each week in islamic countries (in arabic). However, the infidel cannot disprove this assertion.

And Smooth Deception #2 is slyly subtle, a great, easy deception of the infidel. Those same islamic clerics and imams also define "innocent" in a way that infidels do not. That is, infidels are by definition NOT innocent, because they are non-believers.. Thus they are all far game, actual enemy combatant or not. Only mooslims can be innocent. And we see that your immediate sentence after Smooth Deception ™ #2 swings right into that, claiming the mooslimic lives lost. Again, we are humbled by your awesome awesomeness Dear Lord Fuhrer Hussein Fecal! Thank you, thank, thank you!