The People's Cube - Political Satire

This is clearly a "life imitates the People's Cube" moment:

The similarities between prostitutes and, say, politicians are as striking as they are far-reaching... Both prostitutes and politicians aren't allowed to kiss their customers on the lips, while at the same time, they eagerly massage other most intimate nooks and crannies. They both care about their hygiene and meretricious appearance, yet it is advisable to wash up after an encounter with any of them. They are no strangers to blackmail, deceit, cowardice, fear, loyalty to pimps, corruption, just plain crime, and pharmaceuticals that can make a man stand at attention for up to four hours. They often meet with clients in dark parking lots, and most people feel guilty and dirty afterwards. Not to mention lighter in the wallet - the opening of which just happens to be a perfect metaphor for sex.

We don't need to write satire anymore; the silly progs do it as a self-service:

Spitzer running against ex-madam who once provided him hookers

... in a bizarre twist, Spitzer, who resigned in 2008 after it became known he frequented prostitutes, will be running against libertarian Kristin Davis, the former Manhattan "Madam" who ran the high-class prostitution ring used by Spitzer and other high-powered clients, Breitbart reported.

"This is going to be the funnest campaign ever," said Davis, who went to prison for three months for her role in running the escort service, according to Breitbart.

"I've been waiting for my day to face him for five years," she reportedly told the New York Daily News. "I sat … in Rikers Island, I came out penniless and nothing happened to him. The hypocrisy there is huge."

In 2007, we had this spoof:

Beltway Prostitutes: Do Not Criminalize Liberal Lifestyle!

Here's another Spitzer spoof on the Cube, which can potentially become another "life imitates the Cube" moment if he wins.

Spitzer: Playing Rough For Progress And Greater Good™

According to a recent Wall Street Journal article, suggestively titled Spitzer's Rise and Fall, the governor liked to play rough. The transcripts from the bugged Washington hotel room, made available to The People's Cube, seem to confirm it.

Heard from inside Room 871 on Valentine's Eve, 2008, shortly after 10pm:

[TRANSCRIPT BEGINS]

"Have you been bad?"

"Ooooh, I've been a big, bad corporation...."

"You will have to be punished!"

"Yes! I'm a greedy corporation working for profit, I don't give back to the community!"

"You will pay the price!"

"Oh yes, Mr. Spitzer! I'm a selfish, uncaring capitalist pig. [SMACK!] Yes! Yes! I'm a dirty, dirty Republican!"

"I'm coming after you, piggie! I'll show you limited government and keeping what you earn! I'll show you traditional values!" [SMACK!]

"Yes, I need to be punished..."

"You're engaging in illegal behavior!" [SMACK!]

"But Mr. Spitzer...it was just an accounting error!"

"You will fire your C.E.O. " [SMACK!]

"But I'm just a C.E.HO.!"

" [SMACK!] I'm going to indict you! I'm going to indict you!" [SMACK! SMACK!]

"Oh you're soooo powerful..."

"What! You think I've gone too far? This is only the beginning, Whitehead! You will pay dearly for what you have done."

"No, please don't!"

"You'll wish you never wrote that letter to the Wall St. Journal!" [SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!]

"I like a man who's not afraid to be abusive..."

"I'm gonna put a spike through you, Langone!"

"Ouch!"

"I'm gonna ruin you!"

"Oh, Mr. Spritzer! I need my social awareness to be raised! [SMACK!] I can feel it rising! [SMACK!] Oh I feel so guilty! [SMACK!] I feel the urge to share with the community!"

[SMACK!]

"Yes! Progress, here I come!"

"Oh yeah! I'm Spitzer the spritzer! I'm a f***g steamroller, baby! I'm Mr. Superdelegate! Yeah, baby! Oh yeahhh!"

[END OF TRANSCRIPT]

Sen. Schumer (D-NY): Spitzer's sexual preferences were in full compliance with his high ranking in the Democrat Party hierarchy. Not more and not less than is required of a Superdelegate. But I agree, this should've never been leaked to the masses.

Would it be possible to yank Weiner and get a Spitzer in his place?

Deep, Ivan. Deep...

The Spritzer is known,
to those of the north,
as a high rollin scalawag.
Legendary to some,
such a Dominant Prog,
but to others he's just a fag.*


* - poetic license obtained

He is following in the engorged footsteps of previous dear leader Bill "oral office" Clinton, is he not?! What better way to expand and enlarge ones' assets than an enlarged secretarial pool in Public Office?

I have no doubt the loyal voters of NY will be happy to provide our Comrade with another opportunity. . . . to do whatever. All that is mattering his loyalty to the Democratic Regime! And what better way to keep an 'eye' on his Madam then in the close quarters of electioneering. Two glorious democrats fighting for office - the day is good!

I am having glorious reminders of Democratically Mayor Marion Berry of the District of Communism, (D.C.) who after a minor arrest or several for narcotics only needed "another crack" at Mayorship... and got it.

Spitzer vs. His Madam? Pffft! Now that's what I call a fair fight! Pffft! Ha, ha, ha! Pfffft! Snort!