Spitzer: Playing Rough For Progress And Greater Good™

According to a recent Wall Street Journal article, suggestively titled Spitzer's Rise and Fall, the governor liked to play rough. The transcripts from the bugged Washington hotel room, made available to The People's Cube, seem to confirm it.

Heard from inside Room 871 on Valentine's Eve, 2008, shortly after 10pm:

---

[TRANSCRIPT BEGINS]

"Have you been bad?"

"Ooooh, I've been a big, bad corporation...."

"You will have to be punished!"

"Yes! I'm a greedy corporation working for profit, I don't give back to the community!"

"You will pay the price!"

"Oh yes, Mr. Spitzer! I'm a selfish, uncaring capitalist pig. [SMACK!] Yes! Yes! I'm a dirty, dirty Republican!"

"I'm coming after you, piggie! I'll show you limited government and keeping what you earn! I'll show you traditional values!" [SMACK!]

"Yes, I need to be punished..."

"You're engaging in illegal behavior!" [SMACK!]

"But Mr. Spitzer...it was just an accounting error!"

"You will fire your C.E.O. " [SMACK!]

"But I'm just a C.E.HO.!"

" [SMACK!] I'm going to indict you! I'm going to indict you!" [SMACK! SMACK!]

"Oh you're soooo powerful..."

"What! You think I've gone too far? This is only the beginning, Whitehead! You will pay dearly for what you have done."

"No, please don't!"

"You'll wish you never wrote that letter to the Wall St. Journal!" [SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!]

"I like a man who's not afraid to be abusive..."

"I'm gonna put a spike through you, Langone!"

"Ouch!"

"I'm gonna ruin you!"

"Oh, Mr. Spritzer! I need my social awareness to be raised! [SMACK!] I can feel it rising! [SMACK!] Oh I feel so guilty! [SMACK!] I feel the urge to share with the community!"
[SMACK!]

"Yes! Progress, here I come!"

"Oh yeah! I'm Spitzer the spritzer! I'm a f***g steamroller, baby! I'm Mr. Superdelegate! Yeah, baby! Oh yeahhh!"

[END OF TRANSCRIPT]



Julia Gorin is a frequent People's Cube contributor and editor of Clintonisms
 

I read the news today old boy.

Sadly, it was announced this morning that pseudo-moralistic Elliot Spitzer is going to resign… today… Wednesday… hump day… We got to hand it to him; he sure fooled the religious right!

There will be those on the right, those evil, limited government extremists will say this is exactly what this country needs, more unemployed politicians! But the upshot is we know a hard working government Apparatchik like Spitzer will be back. He, like other progressives, will never run out of excuses or reasons for you to vote for him, as he is likely to never run out of ways to betray help the downtrodden! Of course he will expect your support next time around.

He missed a great opportunity though. Had he admitted that he had a “sex addiction” and needed “counseling,” then he could have the sympathy of all collectivists. He not only would have been forgiven, but likely promoted for advancing the crusade against this cycle of addictive perversion. If he runs for President, he’s got MY vote!

Elliot, like the party, believes constitutional liberties must take a back seat to the government's undying effort to regulate people who run a large business and use the full force of government to spy on those who engage in adult consensual behavior. He will be missed, this caring, loving and rugged socialist. Let us support his mistakes as strongly as his achievements, for he will go far into the annals of history as one of the greatest liberals of our time.
 

I heard Paterson wants drivers licenses for blind illegals complete with brail. We know that this was justified by Jesus when he talked about the blind leading the no-so-blind, right.
 

Now that Comrade Spitzer has been deemed an "ENEMY OF THE STATE" whichgulag should he be exiled to? Im an leaning towards VERMONT or MAINE.There he will toil away at snow removal for the prolitariate.

BTW Which wine goes best with Vodka?
 

Vodka flavored wine.
 

Will this come out on DVD, and, if so, where can one purchase it?
 

I don't want to know why you asked such a question....
 

Send the little spitzer back to the Bronx where he comes from.

Specifically, the BRONX HOUSE OF DETENTION.
 

Vodka goes best with beer.

As comrades say, "Drinking beer without vodka is a waste of money"
 

Who is this "Spitzer" of whom you speak? There is no party official of that name. There is not even a party MEMBER of that name. I myself looked through the archives and found no reference to this person at all. Indeed I looked through Chairman Hillary's extensive and open records fully released for her Presidential installation, and found NO MENTION of said individual! If Chairman Hillary does not know this person, he indeed has not existed.

As a Party official in good standing, I demand all references to this fictitious and defamatory character cease. You have the option of voluntarily removing the offending articles in the next 12 hours.
 

A non-person "S"?

The cardboard cutout is ready. Waiting for a command from Hillary.
 

Comrade Stupidicus

Now that Comrade Spitzer has been deemed an "ENEMY OF THE STATE" whichgulag should he be exiled to? Im an leaning towards VERMONT or MAINE.There he will toil away at snow removal for the prolitariate.

BTW Which wine goes best with Vodka?


Comrade Stupidicus: Perhaps some Country Club gulag where he can practice his backschwing. Whatever the case, my guess is that he will not be longing for companionship in either place.

As far as wine, what about "Vodka Coolers?" There may be an occasion, in polite company, where you might want to send up a toast to Comrade Spitzer who may be IN the "cooler." If he is going to be sharing a flat with others in Maine or Vermont, then he shouldn't have to worry about keeping them "cool" either.
 

What about "Vodka Coolers?"


 

I was able to obtain a photograph of this encounter...




 

Red Square

A non-person "S"?

The cardboard cutout is ready. Waiting for a command from Hillary.


Brilliant we need a flat Spitzer (insert own joke here)
 

Why everyone so upset with nephew? I see nothing wrong with young girls peeing on him in privacy of five star hotel room. These showers help with beady eyes problem. None of this would happen if wife would pee on him at home.
 

I was asleep on a bail of hay the other day when this story broke..... sweet Mother of Lenin, that man was a champ at living the double life. I was, of course, a target of his investigations due to my lack of contribution to the revolution. Guess this gets me off the hook.... for now.
 

Comrade Stupidicus

Now that Comrade Spitzer has been deemed an "ENEMY OF THE STATE" whichgulag should he be exiled to? Im an leaning towards VERMONT or MAINE.There he will toil away at snow removal for the prolitariate.

BTW Which wine goes best with Vodka?

What do you mean "enemy of the state?" In order to even qualify to be a superdelegate, you have to sleep with several hookers. Spitzer's sin was they weren't diverse enough and they weren't male prostitutes.
 

Red Square

What about "Vodka Coolers?"




YEAH BABY!!! I WANT ONE OF THOSE!!!

--
ZB
 

Can cardboard cutouts act as super delegates? I think we need to make a rule that a cardboard cutout has 9,000 more votes than a regular super delegate. Yes, we need to make that a rule.
 

Quote:

A non-person "S"?

The cardboard cutout is ready. Waiting for a command from Hillary.


No, not yet.

I'm thinking of naming Silda as my running mate.

Clinton/Spitzer '08

When I see her, I see me, and I like what I see...Using a schmuck for her own personal ambition.
Notice the steely laser eyebeams tatooing Eliot's forehead.

Victims Unite!....think of the possibilites. Endless...


 

Sea-Bass

I was able to obtain a photograph of this encounter...





MEIN CHOMPSKY!!!

That is so WRONG on so many levels! Forgive me for being late, but I was away on the gold mining Artel, but as soon as I return, I am subjected to THIS?

First of all, pig and goose, like moose and squirrel, belong on the collective! How DARE anyone take them away for their own personal reason!

Second, what the Devil is in that glass box behind the womans head? A monkey? (By the way, what an inferior woman - thighs, breast and frame way too small to bear many needed children on the motherland.)

And what is with all that luxury? A mattress, not a bed of straw. Painted wall, not brickwork or mud and straws? No wonder Spitzer was paying so much, it was probably for the room, not the girl. He should do the right thing and feed her more bread and vodka to fatten her up. How is SHE going to carry the shovel and ... oh got to go, stove going out again.

STRIVE FOR MEDIOCRITY!
 

The picture of the lady with the pig is inaccurate. Actually, let me correct myself. The pig is accurate, but in this case the pig made it with a Beagle faced tranny with bad implants and man hands. I mean, look at this hooker and ask yourself, "could this be a dog-faced man?":


Would you pay thousands for that? To me, this is the real transgression by Spitzer, and the entire whoring industry should be ashamed!
 

Spitzenfreude

Would you pay thousands for that? To me, this is the real transgression by Spitzer, and the entire whoring industry should be ashamed!
Da, Comrade. I'll have to defer to Commissar Pupovich, but the highest class hookers I've seen coming out of the Party Pleasure Palace have looked like this:


 

Quote:

was able to obtain a photograph of this encounter...






Why does that woman have a rabbit on her head?
 

Ivan Betinov

Why does that woman have a rabbit on her head?
Comrade Betinov is raising a legitimate concern: as a likely Party Organ Donor, this female person may damage her brain or have it sucked out by the Jimmy Carter Attack Rabbit - and what will be her organ worth then to the Party? She is engaging in a risky and irresponsible behavior because her organs belong not to her but to the People(TM) - and it takes a brain in a jar to point that out to the rest of the collective whose perceptions may be clouded by the presence of other organs on their bodies.
 

True words, Red Square, true words. The only brain that is safe for the Party is a pickled brain. Killer Rabbits hate pickles; it is an established scientific consensus. Thus, Party members should pickle their brains at every opportunity, following the glorious example of Comrade Ted Kennedy. At the risk of being denounced for promoting a religious holiday, I call on all Party members to take the initiative on Monday to pickle themselves premptively in anticipation of Wabbit Season. (Comrades engaged in storming the Minnestoa State House on Monday are especially encouraged to pickle their brains thoroughly before beginning the day's festivities.) Tullamore Dew, Bushmill's, Jameson's, Guiness--any culturally appropriate libation will do, but do it now. Do it for the Party.
 

Comrade Stupidicus

BTW Which wine goes best with Vodka?

"It wasn't me, it was Comrade ______________!"
 

Mikhail T. Kalashnikov

[I'll have to defer to Commissar Pupovich, but the highest class hookers I've seen coming out of the Party Pleasure Palace have looked like this:



Dear Lenin! How did you get into Criminal Kommissar Vodkof's designated "team?"

Now remember, it is not the looks that count as much as the skill that goes with the looks. On the surface, TNTCNBN looks as if he could be president....
 

 

Question? Is he going to bite her neck?
 

Anonymous

What he said to make her laugh -- multiple choice:

A. "Keep laughing or I'll kill you"

B. "Do you have sex with Bill?"

C. "Do you like men?"

D. "Can you help me hide a whore's body?"

E. "Did Vince Foster really kill himself?"

F. "Do you really believe what you say?"

G. "Do you wish B. Hussein Obama well?"

H. "Am I sexy?"

I. All of the above in rapid succession

J. He said nothing -- they had a plan to look happy beforehand
 

Good stuff, comrade Guest (are you related to Christopher Guest by any chance?)

Only why do you think it's Spitzer who made Hillary laugh? We all know that the Empress prefers to laugh at her own jokes.

She might as well tell Spitzer that his wife will now make a fine running mate for Hillary as they both have about the same experience in running the country. At the very least, Silda Spitzer is qualified to be the Governor of New York State.

To which Spitzer laughingly added that perhaps if being a political wife provides one with the necessary experience, Hillary might want to prove it to voters first, by working as a governor of Arkansas.

At which point Hillary abruptly stopped laughing and Spitzer was forced to announce his resignation.
 

Today's Page Six at NY Post

USUALLY dull Albany types are having a laugh riot at the expense of outgoing Gov. Eliot Spitzer. "The state could close its multibillion-dollar budget gap by opening a bordello on Governors Island," cracked one upstater. "After all, it already has the branding." Another came up with a T-shirt slogan: "Don't blame me. I voted for the other john" - a reference to Republican John Faso.

The Post also had John Faso's article about it today. I read it with mixed feelings. Imagine how humiliating it must be for Faso, to be rejected in favor of this dumbass. No schadenfreude over Spitzer's demise can compensate for that.
 

So he is not going to bite her neck. He is going to kiss her;;;;;;;;;;;;
Power to the troddendown and wives with ambition.
 

"Kiss her" what?
 

Ivan Betinov

"Kiss her" what?
Exactly.
 

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Quote:

Eliot Spitzer (R) holds a news conference in New York City with his wife Silda by his side
New York Governor Eliot Spitzer (R) holds a news conference in New York City with his wife Silda by his side, on March 10.
That’s right Spitzer is a Rethuglican.
 

At last! The Pravda is out! I knew it! Hopefully they will soon correct the false story about Crane being a rethuglicah as well. Clearly only the rethuglicans would be able to hire, or desire to hire such expensive and non-diversified partners, Clearly Crane, being an inclusive, progressive Comrade, did not seek to pay for his entertainment. No, he was simply trying to meet other progressives in a facility open to the public, a dance hall if you will.

Excellent reporting Comrade!
 

Pravda is out? Не верить своим глазам.
I thought I locked that Kennel Gate.
Is begging question. How many more 'True Progressives' wear this Rethuglican skin?
When it is time to hand out the Shovels how will we know the True from the False?
Power to the troddendown and Tibetans in trucks wearing handcuffs.
 

Was I in error comrade? How else can one explain a progressive being exposed in such a manner?