The People Endorse Karl Marx for President

Comrades, most equal news! The Glorious World of Next Tuesday™ is upon us!

A reporter went to a beach in the great Collective of Commiefornia and found that the People™ agree with Dear Leader's endorsement of economic advisor Karl Marx being the next Dear Leader!

How wonderful, comrades! In fact, at the end of the video the reporter even referred to one of the individuals interviewed as "comrade." Better yet, while some people admitted they didn't know who Karl Marx was (there is a gulag waiting for them), NOBODY disagreed outright with this idea.

And as well they should not. Glorious former Dear Leader Joseph Stalin showed us what happens to those that don't vote the korrekt way... Watch the video below, Comrades!


 

I would like to nominate Groucho Marx for president too.
 

I nominate Zeppo Marx because he's more prezidential looking and has gravitas.
 

I also nominate Harpo Marx, because greatness always comes from the silent ones.
 

Hammer and Loupe

I also nominate Harpo Marx, because greatness always comes from the silent ones.
Indeed. Silent waters run deep. He is going to have to lose the horn and trim the doo.
 

There you go, judging by appearances.

Have you met your quota of beets for today? Are you going to be the reason that someone else has to do more work today?
 

Ivan the Stakhanovets

...Have you met your quota of beets for today? Are you going to be the reason that someone else has to do more work today?

Nyet. After working on the kollektive for a while, I have learned all about "not building that, somebody else doing that," and "fair shares." I get the same rations as everyone else if I barely meet my quota or if I exceed my quota. To quote Komrade Hillaria, "What difference does it make?" If I fail to meet my quota by spending time talking with komrades about Oprah's traveling klown show and Marx Brothers kampaigns, I bribe the komissar with some beet vodka secretly made in a shed behind traktor barn number 2. I got it all figured out, komrade.
 

As proprietor of the distillery toolroom in tractor barn #2, I think I have discovered where my shortages of inventory can be blamed went.
 

It's about time!
 

Comrades Ivan and Gummipuppe,

Didn't future Dear Leader Karl Marx once say "to each according to his needs"? So, why bother meeting the beets (or any other work) quota? Just tax the rich to get a few more beets.
 

This is enough to show the Kapitalists in Amerika why "voting for 'President'" is a failed policy and terrible aktion! THE "VOTERS" KNOW NOTHING!!! They should say that Our Glorious Leader should be "elekted" for four more years! He is undefeated! He will remain so! Hail Our Glorious Immaculate Leader, Komrade Barak Hussein Obama!!!
And we shake our heads at why America's in the shape its in?!?
 

Hammer and Loupe

I also nominate Harpo Marx, because greatness always comes from the silent ones.
And also because he has deep pockets from which he distributes bounty to those he deems worthy (having first confiscated redistributed it from The Rich™).
 

Comrade Vlad Linen

Comrades Ivan and Gummipuppe,

Didn't future Dear Leader Karl Marx once say "to each according to his needs"? So, why bother meeting the beets (or any other work) quota? Just tax the rich to get a few more beets.



Eksaktly, Komrade Linen. Meet me behind Traktor Barn No. 2 for some beet vodka.

After the middle class "rich" are bled dry through taxing, the state will send them off to the gulags to cut lumber and mine asbestos. We will take great pleasure in working them to death, for they have all of the culpability for the troubles Komrade Glorious Leader inherited from the evil czar "W" <spit, phewy!>.
 

I nominate Richard. We need a president with Big Hair.