Obama suggests renaming Redskins to 'Washington Thinskins'

Executive Order #17255

At His Majesty's Superior Residency, begun and held in Washington, D.C. in the fifth reign of Barack Hussein Obama I, by the grace of Government, socialism, political correctness, and social justice, King, Defender of the Faithless, has, by his greatness, and moral superiority, thus declared that the racist and bigoted offensive name "REDSKINS" should be changed to a more fitting and progressive title, worthy of the mediocrity it so deserves.






 

 

 

The die is cast. We, The People™ of the USSA, by the powers vested (legally and illegally) in Dear Leader, will soon be owners of the entire NFL. (The Nationalized Football League) Things will be so much more interesting when all this violence and competitiveness are forbidden. The weight problems of defensive linepersons will be solved through application of the "Moochelle Principle" of ingestion. Glorious! Unfortunately for me, I have no interest in football so it won't really matter. But then, Next Tuesday means nothing matters anyway - so who cares? FORWARD Comrades! Ever FORWARD!
 

Captain Craptek

The die is cast. We, The People™ of the USSA, by the powers vested (legally and illegally) in Dear Leader, will soon be owners of the entire NFL. (The Nationalized Football League)
A most excellent and progressive league, Craptek. Who will be the Commissar of the newly named NFL? I am sure that few rule changes are in order to remove the gratuitous violence that exists under its current form. Might I suggest...

 

 

I have uncovered footage of a People's Cube regular most gloriously disrupting a Cleveland Browns football game in protest of its obviously racially derogatory name that is clearly motivated to be offensive to hispanics.
 

I ask you, comrades...Who is more qualified to lead the league than Dear Leader Himself?


 

El Presidente

I have uncovered footage of a People's Cube regular most gloriously disrupting a Cleveland Browns football game in protest of its obviously racially derogatory name that is clearly motivated to be offensive to hispanics.

Yes. I will remember this horrifying moment for the rest of my life! Now you know why I hate football!
 

Just name it for a group least likely to protest and have an appropriate mascot. Complete with white and yellow feathers.


 

Fat Michelle's Pork Skins
 

Fat Michelle's Pork Skins

 

Captain Craptek

El Presidente

I have uncovered footage of a People's Cube regular most gloriously disrupting a Cleveland Browns football game in protest of its obviously racially derogatory name that is clearly motivated to be offensive to hispanics.

Yes. I will remember this horrifying moment for the rest of my life! Now you know why I hate football!

I gotta give it to that Craptek, he's always looking for a chance to score a touchdown with the masses.
 

Commodore Snoogie Woogums

Captain Craptek

El Presidente

I have uncovered footage of a People's Cube regular most gloriously disrupting a Cleveland Browns football game in protest of its obviously racially derogatory name that is clearly motivated to be offensive to hispanics.

Yes. I will remember this horrifying moment for the rest of my life! Now you know why I hate football!

I gotta give it to that Craptek, he's always looking for a chance to score a touchdown with the masses.
And with Comrade Reggie, wouldn't you say, Comrade Commodore?
 

I just received an unconfirmed Memo that the Washington Redskins owner will be changing their name -- they will hence and forth be called the Maryland Redskins. This should end the controversy and make dear leader and happier dear leader.