Current Truth Flash: Jindal not a real Indian; Liz Warren is

Comrades, you just can't make this stuff up.

Yesterday we were all informed that Bobby Jindal is not a "real" Indian.

But of course, Comrade Elizovitch Warren IS.

This is why you must always pay attention to the Telescreens that have been installed in your homes. They are for your own good. How else would anyone know that the Current Truth ™ had changed?

And, often, it changes without warning. Best to stay programmed informed. And be sure to watch only Party-approved propaganda "news," Comrades. You don't want any Impure Thoughts entering your heads.
 

Mikhail Lysenkomann

Comrades, you just can't make this stuff up.

Yesterday we were all informed that Bobby Jindal is not a "real" Indian.

But of course, Comrade Elizovitch Warren IS.

This is why you must always pay attention to the Telescreens that have been installed in your homes. They are for your own good. How else would anyone know that the Current Truth ™ had changed?

And, often, it changes without warning. Best to stay programmed informed. And be sure to watch only Party-approved propaganda "news," Comrades. You don't want any Impure Thoughts entering your heads.


Komrade Lysenkomann! Do not let Komrade Liarwatha's blond hair and blue eyes fool you! Komrade Jindal is an Enemy of The State ™ and must be purged! (As with all things Confederate you may have noted that purges are in vogue among the Kollektivist Borg)

Dasvidaniya, Tovarisch Lysenkomann!
 

C'mon Mikhail! You gotta use your EYES and not your EARS. Look at this picture of him:





Look at the color of his damn skin. He's obviously BLACK. AFRICAN-AMERICAN. COLORED. He's about as Indian as a pint of Guinness. Unless he's transracial, in which case we have to respect whichever race he feels like he is inside. He feels like he's half Japanese, half Polish? We treat him like the little Asian-European-American he is.

As for Comrade Elizovitch, take a look at this picture:




Now, it obvious from this picture that she is TRANSRACIAL. She's isn't white, though. She's Minnesota. Just look at that round face and glassy-eyed look typical of the average Minnesota-American. She just looks Minnesota. However, since she IDENTIFIES as INDIAN, we HAVE TO RESPECT THAT. If we DON'T respect her decision to identify as Indian and let herself be what she truly is on the inside, then we are enemies of the state. And if we don't let her be who she really is, we are committing CULTURAL GENOCIDE by telling her that her CULTURE and RACE are inferior.
 

So true, Comrade Stierlitz. It's not the actual color of your skin that counts any more, it's about what you the Washington Post FEELS you are inside.
 

Comrades! It doesn't really matter if there's an Indian left in Jindal, or a black left in Carson, or a woman left in Fiorina, or a Mexican left in Rubio... What really matters is if there's an American left in any of them. If so, THAT'S who needs to be targeted.
 

Its obvious Liewatha is Indian, just look at those cheekbones! As for the ones that are not "our" Indians, it would be helpful if a Comrade would develop a tool like those paint chip strips you get. Then we could hold it up to determine skin color before denouncing.
 

Comrades, you're all missing the point, here. It's the fault of the parents. Bobby Jindal, himself, blamed his parents for his complete failure to be an upstanding Party™ member and citizen of esteemed repute.

He came so close to achieving the highest honour that the State™ can bestow, too. For years he was an accomplished State worker in charge of Health and Hospitals. He was also President of the entire Higher Indoctrination system of Louisiana.

Unfortunately, the influence of his parents was simply overwhelming and he defected to the Dark Side.

This is a prime example of why we must eliminate the parent(s) from the lives of The Children™.
 

It's all in the cheek bones, comrade.