Disclaimer (A "Liberal" Hitchhiker's Guide to the Cube)



Rational arguments cannot, in our experience, survive in your Dionysian mindset. Part of the "liberal" experience is the inability, due to self-righteousness, arrogance, or mental lethargy, to understand our points, let alone step into our frame of reference. Therefore, we are stepping into your frame of reference, boots and all - laying railroad tracks all over it, preparing for the arrival of the glorious locomotive of progress.
The nausea you're experiencing is plain motion sickness. In case you didn't know, the "liberal" train of thought you're hitching hauls from the good old Marxist depot - and that's where it shall return.

But this is a one-way trip, comrade. Follow the winding rails far enough, and you'll see them go beyond the borders of bourgeois individual liberties, and straight into a collectivist dictatorship where group rights overrule individual rights, collective property overrules private property, and class struggle overrules pursuit of individual happiness. Douglas Adams never traveled that far.
All aboard!








The Gulag at the End of the Motherland!
Next we visit
Strife, Your Puny Purse, and Barack the King
Then we go to
So Long, and Banks Are Now My Dish
And then
Mostly Charmless
Last Stop
There's Famine, No Doubt




I beam with pride, and encourage all our progressive friends to climb on board. The first class accommodations, will include a beet, and a communal toilet. Such luxury borders on bourgeois.
You wanted Shovel ready you got it!!!
Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality® INC
The Kind and Lovable, Green Commissar
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith




Remember, the Affairs of State take precedence over the the Affairs of State. Now if you will excuse me, I need to work on tonight's Door kicking agenda, I located some contraband "Hummels" Great and Powerful Leader Theocratus will be thrilled. Bruno will present them to him for "Mothers Day" As we all know Theo can be a Mother at times.
Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality® INC
The Kind and Lovable, Green Commissar
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith




But I will see what i can do.
Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality® INC
The Kind and Lovable, Green Commissar
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith


All Hail Dear Leader, (That's Me) Beloved Tyrant and Source of All Truth, Father/Mother/non-Gender Specific Parent of the Zimbabwean Nation!
Hail Me!
Amandla!
Obamugabe.


Red Star
As we all know Theo can be a Mother at times.Ah, Red Star, how I have longed for the tender caress of your dulcet tones. And yes, I can be a mother. In fact I revel in being a mother. But don't worry about Bruno. He's been spending his time recently wondering what the next get-up for Miss Resentment will be. Will it be another aquamarine baby-doll dress, waist to her armpits, wearing high heels?
Well, I don't care and I advise you not to. But if you are ever in the possession of a silly queen, and I do not recommend it in general, then invest in a television and gossip magazines. If you buy enough then the your ears will heal from being chewed with endless prattle all the time.
Obamugabe, in another room, far, far away, I was appointed the chef to Idi Amin. It's not as though I'm a great chef; I just happened to know how juniper berries will cut the grease of stewed missionary. Dr. Amin was so grateful that he appointed me Chef Advisor and Keeper of the Doctor's Balls.
This is not, of course, a sexual thing. It is in reference to his application to come to America to be a professional bowler.
I offer my services to you. I have since been doing some recipe development with an eye toward progressive countries. Since you've done such a splendid job of changing cabinets every six months to let in another
I have just the spice mix for rotting fruits and vegetables.
Are you interested?




His O'liness has banned all bell ringing for fear the proles will think of the Liberty Bell. I risk 90 days in the Gulag just using the L word, but I thought you should be warned.




Reiuxcat, the reason that President Awesome Zero has banned bell ringing is that it competes with the call to prayer issuing from the mosques.
Surely you, as a made prog, knew that.


And that's all I have to say about that.
Hail Obama!


I'm not allowed to run the train,
The whistle I can't blow.
I'm not allowed to say how fast or far the train can go.
I'm not allowed to blow off steam or even ring the bell,
But let it jump the goddamn track,
Then see who catches hell!


I have to admit some sadness though. Here at the Rancho we have had our elections and we have elected a mayor who is no longer a stupid, shallow screw-your-puta-while-your-wife-is-dying thief. How do you live in a city with an honest mayor? And I know she is. Damn it.
We also bounced our county judge, who got the commissioners to vote millions for rubbish while ignoring needs. We replaced him with our chief of surgery, Dr. Bang, and this is a horrible blow. I've known Dr. Bang for 30 years and he's never told a lie that anyone knows.
And we bounced out two commissioners who were known to have their hands out.
Alas and alack. Probity comes to Reeves County.







Isn't it wonderful to be nothing but fodder to the social-engineering ambitions of President Awesome Zero? Isn't it wonderful to be run over so that someone can jet around the world apologizing to people who hate us and spurning people who like us?
I don't know how much happier I could be as made progressive, unless of course I didn't utterly hate myself, as a made prog.



Most Holy Embalmer Commissar Theocritus there is so much to do for The People™, just remember where we came from



I see a long dark night coming, comrades, and I am so proud. I would hate for the next generation to have it as good as our grandparents.


Commissar Theocritus
Hmm. A toot on a whistle and His O'liness? What was that tell-all book by that man, Larry, Larry something?Reiuxcat, the reason that President Awesome Zero has banned bell ringing is that it competes with the call to prayer issuing from the mosques.
Surely you, as a made prog, knew that.
I'll have to respectfully disagree Comrade Commissar. The Hindu bell ringers continue to be ding-a-lings at some airports.

Oh, I'm only KIDDING!!! This site is entertaining, however misguided it is.


Bravo, bravo


Comrade Red Square, where did you say that train was going?


I want to pal around with Democratic figures named Blago and Jeremiah. What's this shit about low-level commie proles? I'm a made prog, you know, and only consort with other high-minded felons.


"Driving that train, high on cocaine, Casey Jones you better watch your speed"


"I get no kick from cocaine
Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all
So tell me, what should I do?
Cause I get a kick out of you."
I think that the only possible tribute to His O'liness higher than outshining cocaine would be if he outshined Ecstasy too, plus a quadruple dose of Viagra.


Speaking of trains, I think this is the one we proles are currently on.....



Funny you mentioned cocaine. Cocaine is like Communism. You get a temporary high, but you don't realize that, like a commie living off of other people's money that inevitably runs out, the cocaine starts to deplete the serotonin in your brain. Pretty soon, you find yourself in a permanent state of depression because you brain has been completely depleted of serotonin, and you are looking up from the ruble, like Al Zarqawi, wondering what the hell happened.


Comrades, comrades, comrades when you have ass hair specialists in your midst it is far to assuming to mince logic... logic is what the ass prescribes. Especially the collectives ass hair specialist -- AssoProfundo.
Hail Obama! Kick Ass! (If you know who's ass to


Red Rooster
Comrades, comrades, comrades.... AssoProfundo is much to smart for your collectivist shenanigans. This prole has founded the time continuum in an ass hair. No kidding, the prole is on top of the game and can see right through any ass, IN FACT, it is my belief that prole Asso has an ass hair microscope BUILT RIGHT INTO HE'S EYE!!!Comrades, comrades, comrades when you have ass hair specialists in your midst it is far to assuming to mince logic... logic is what the ass prescribes. Especially the collectives ass hair specialist -- AssoProfundo.
Hail Obama! Kick Ass! (If you know who's ass to
. . . point proven.


Am still ill from eight years of oppression by Bushovics.


The best feature of this train has to be the running toilet. The problem is you have to run beside the Caboose to get on. After your done, there are no condiments to clean up with.
Safe return to the train is a big issue, the bigger you are, the bigger the issue.
Have a good trip and remember, the big O is watching you!


Quote:
We do NOT equate all "liberals" with communists Gosh, you say that like it's not an insult. Aren't all liberals instructed in the glories of the communist mindset? Now I'm going to have to go rethink all my previous thoughts. Very disturbing.

Obamugabe
Last stop: The People's Republic of Zimbabwe. The true destination of all Liberal policies!All Hail Dear Leader, (That's Me) Beloved Tyrant and Source of All Truth, Father/Mother/non-Gender Specific Parent of the Zimbabwean Nation!
Hail Me!
Amandla!
Obamugabe. Well- stated Komrade Obamugabe. You are to be commended for correct progressive views. We are one in revolutionary fervor
We salute you for restoring your proud land once again to glory befitting of Mother Afrika: Long live










Quote:
Welcome to the People's Cube- where a group of conservatives have banded together to show the unintentional but inevitable consequences of well-meaning liberal policies.Enjoy the ride, comrade!
AND we're some of the dumbest fuckers alive, too! You win both ways, Comrade!
