The People's Cube - Political Satire

Democrat comeback! These glorious news come from Dr. Grigori Doppenschkoppel-Blavatsky of Enigma Institute for Advanced Insight and Predictive Memetics.

The People's Cube correspondent Genosse Dummkopf (GD) was granted a short interview with Dr. Doppenschkoppel-Blavatsky (DB).

* * *
GD: Already got your news: 2020, comeback, shock. My question: What's your methodology?

DB: Well, highly sophisticated software. Our prognostic suite bases on IPCC's climate modelling code. Actually, our code is all 18 IPCC suites merged, and then averaged. Logarithmically. Here (sifts papers) a depiction:


~
DB: It's the uppermost layer only, of course. The very tip of our software pyramid.

GD: Oh, amazing. But, but - how can, basically climate-focused software, apply to, uh, politics?

DB: Well, high-grade parametrization. Thousands of configuration parameters. They, in essence, control the result, the output. With a strongly progressive setting of parameters, we even model ARRGH, the American Red Revolution Going Hot.



GD: Parametrization, yes, so... how does it work? Sample?

DB: Well, take carbon dioxide. We set CO2 = Trump. Carbon, as you know: malignant, of global impact, to be suppressed by any means necessary. Each run of our software shows a projected Trump trajectory. Horrible! He materializes as a massive, Category 6 hurricane. Sweeps across our continent, then surfs out. Atlantic, Asia, you name it.



GD: Shocking. And other outcomes?

DB: Well, take Sanders. We configure the Gulf Stream as Bernie. Surprisingly, he then invariably appears in our scenario runs as a quasi-periodic Red Aurora. Very pleasant, inspiring.



GD: Wow. And how's, you know, Hillary?

DB: Uh, well. There is a cluster of parameters to emulate the atmospheric upward flux, into stratospheric heights. And we set that cluster to represent Hillary. Strange as it is, the expected flux always turns first into a low pressure area, low energy and all that. Next, the flux usually stabilizes, turns kinda upward. And finally it's, huzzah, all hot air!



GD: Invaluable insights! Alas, time limits, number of lines... Thank you for all bold elucidations.

DB: My pleasure. Let's exchange business cards, here mine ‒

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
GD: ... Thank you for all bold elucidations.
DB: My pleasure. Let's exchange business cards, here mine ‒

"...but, ze whole point of a doomsday device is lost...IF YOU KKKEEP IT A SECRET! Vhy didn't you tell the world, eh?"

- SK

Chief Designer wrote:"...but, ze whole point of a doomsday device is lost...IF YOU KKKEEP IT A SECRET! Vhy didn't you tell the world, eh?"

"It was to be announced [goes slightly off script] to zye Kolyektiv on Tyuzday, zye tsyentennial of Bolshyevik Eruption. As you know, Tavarishch Red Skvyer loves syerprizyes."

The gorgeous [color=#C0392B]Dr. Grigori Doppenschkoppel-Blavatsky[/color] wrote: Let's exchange business cards, here mine ‒

.
Here yours...
.

Wow, an ID! Thanks, Komradette. Until now, I possessed only the (kollektive) means of production, and my ID was the socks, notably the left one (of the other, not much is left).

Ah, them socks... When I was in Gulag (some minor overstep of Kubic etiquette, you know), and the guards, I mean, our guardians, bawled suggested nu, vyere iz zyet D314159? to their beasts, I mean, their man's best friends, and - ishchi! ishchi! - unleashed them, the doggies just did a beeline straight to yours truly.


P.S. I will color the ID-glasses auroral. Just to avoid, when harshly requested yur papers, du shveinehund!, the subsequent inquiry: yu vot, yu look our willkommenskultur in black? and unavoidably barked prospects for instant future: vee gif yu kultur zenzibility korrektiff, yu unsoziales element yu, vee haff vays!

(whew!, woke up, must haff been a bad dream... or was it?)

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:Wow, an ID! Thanks, Komradette. Until now, I possessed only the (kollektive) means of production, and my ID was the socks, notably the left one (of the other, not much is left).

Ah, them socks... When I was in Gulag (some minor overstep of Kubic etiquette, you know), and the guards, I mean, our guardians, bawled suggested nu, vyere iz zyet D314159? to their beasts, I mean, their man's best friends, and - ishchi! ishchi! - unleashed them, the doggies just did a beeline straight to yours truly.


P.S. I will color the ID-glasses auroral. Just to avoid, when harshly requested yur papers, du shveinehund!, the subsequent inquiry: yu vot, yu look our willkommenskultur in black? and unavoidably barked prospects for instant future: vee gif yu kultur zenzibility korrektiff, yu unsoziales element yu, vee haff vays!

(whew!, woke up, must haff been a bad dream... or was it?)

Captain Craptek wrote:

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:... nu, vyere iz zyet D314159? ...

___

Lovely! Thanks, Craptek!
(and your decryption is korryekt, you surely deserve a stakan of properly seasoned beet liquor.)


Here the Polish method, a poem piem (Komradette Clara, would you please wake up?) :



Fully Kube-konform! Robota to potęga ludu! = Work is the power of the people!

(Math buffs use that piem to memorize Polish orthography, of course ;-)



And from the Did You Know? faculty :

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
Here the Polish method, a poem piem (Komradette Clara, would you please wake up?) :



Fully Kube-konform! Robota to potęga ludu! = Work is the power of the people!

(Math buffs use that piem to memorize Polish orthography, of course ;-)

Ughhgh......GD,..... it's too late in the day to be thinking about tomorrow having to drag out into the cold and dark, hitching a harness up on an equine and trudging through the beet field back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and to the left, back and to the left, back and to the left............


This brings me to where in the Sam Hill are all the new and YOUNG proles to take over all this beet field work?!?!

I thought Nov. 4th IT BEGINS was the beginning of Next Tuesday where we would have new young prole backs to tend the beet fields.

WTF!!!???!!!


I'm about to organize a Goon Squad to drag them out of their parents basements and or their safe space.

Don't they realize there is 0% unemployment in the Glorious World of Next Tuesday?


Opps, sorry GD I got a little off track.......

Pi music :
Perhaps not very inventive, yet pleasant to listen - ain't it? Clara?

That was very nice GD. NOW, when I think of - Pony - Physical - To the Power of PI - Pleasant to the EYES and ears, I think ..........





Minus the periodic frozen bitch face.

Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:... where in the Sam Hill are all the new and YOUNG proles to take over all this beet field work?!?!

I thought Nov. 4th IT BEGINS was the beginning of Next Tuesday where we would have new young prole backs to tend the beet fields. ...

But, but, weren't youngsters, our proles of progress, hauling like mad, right on glorious Nov. 4th?

(oh, sorry, my bad - howling they were...)

Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:... when I think of - Pony - Physical - To the Power of ...

huh! you obviously mean, like, that pony?

2028? And that's it?
A bit pessimistic, Komrade Smiley, ain't we?
I happen to remember this below (scientifically proved!) :

wrote:Shrillary IS and REMAINS POTUS for ..... , that is until A. D. 2377