4/2/2026, 8:49 am
Texans pronounce this supernatural affliction be placed upon Senator John Cornyn and his staff upon learning the Senator stole the sacred Texas Bible Belt Buckle and traded it to the religion of Islam for filthy lucre.
This proclamation declares John Cornyn a treasonous undead Senator unable to feel the pleasure, or taste the joys, of being a Texan ever again.