6/28/2019, 11:46 am
Your beloved Sergei, hero of election influencing, is back...
Your beloved Sergei, hero of election influencing, is back...
The People's Cube - Political Satire
Political humor and satire from the original Party Organ of Record.
https://thepeoplescube.com/red/
Sergei, Russian colluder guy, congratulates Apollo 11 crew
Page 1 of 1
Your beloved Sergei, hero of election influencing, is back...
6/28/2019, 2:54 pm
Komrades, our Party Leaders lead the Leadership of Progress! (Collusively!)
With my Party-allotted tinfoil papakha on, I received signals from Laika, however faint and blurred. Deciphered, the message is (approximately):
We first put in space.. Sput-peep-nik(-the-automat).. Laika(-the-dog).. Yuri(-the-man).. Valentina(-the-woman).. [..and-next..] ...XYRZ(-the-transperson)!
And then Sergei, colluding, comic ushanka, unerasable Russian akzyent: Trump? hahaha!
No transperson in space, no 2020 race! All together shout: Trump is out-out-out!
With my Party-allotted tinfoil papakha on, I received signals from Laika, however faint and blurred. Deciphered, the message is (approximately):
Denoised, the core message reads:Laika The Space Dog wrote:Brilliance.. Sergei RCG sweet-talk.. naive and vain Amerikanz.. But next step.. transp[ort?].. Trump haha.. And 2020..
We first put in space.. Sput-peep-nik(-the-automat).. Laika(-the-dog).. Yuri(-the-man).. Valentina(-the-woman).. [..and-next..] ...XYRZ(-the-transperson)!
And then Sergei, colluding, comic ushanka, unerasable Russian akzyent: Trump? hahaha!
No transperson in space, no 2020 race! All together shout: Trump is out-out-out!
6/28/2019, 4:12 pm
Genosse Dummkopf wrote:Komrades, our Party Leaders lead the Leadership of Progress! (Collusively!)
With my Party-allotted tinfoil papakha on, I received signals from Laika, however faint and blurred. Deciphered, the message is (approximately):
Denoised, the core message reads:Laika The Space Dog wrote:Brilliance.. Sergei RCG sweet-talk.. naive and vain Amerikanz.. But next step.. transp[ort?].. Trump haha.. And 2020..
We first put in space.. Sput-peep-nik(-the-automat).. Laika(-the-dog).. Yuri(-the-man).. Valentina(-the-woman).. [..and-next..] ...XYRZ(-the-transperson)!
And then Sergei, colluding, comic ushanka, unerasable Russian akzyent: Trump? hahaha!
No transperson in space, no 2020 race! All together shout: Trump is out-out-out!
What is the next first thing to be done? We must put the first LGBTQЙЖ+ into space. Progressive Amerikans will be awestruck and we will Make Russia Cool Again. Komrade Bernie will say, "You're more likely to find the American dream in Ven-, uh, Russia than you are in America."
6/28/2019, 6:29 pm
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:Your beloved Sergei, hero of election influencing, is back...
A most excellent video! I just have one issue with the facts at the 2:40 mark. Actually, Alice Kramden was the first woman sent to the moon in 1955. I thought every one knew that.
6/28/2019, 7:31 pm
I thought the first woman on the Moon was Marianne Williamson, who was not only born on the Moon, but continues to represent the community of undocumented Lunatics.
And, by the way, Trump has declared the Moon to be part of Mars (it's the Current Truth, so you better believe it). It is thought that this will eliminate the danger of the Moon being flooded by the rising sea levels.
The good news is, if the glaciers continue to melt at the current rate, by the end of Trump's presidency we will be able to reach Mars just by poking it with an ore while sitting in a canoe.
And, by the way, Trump has declared the Moon to be part of Mars (it's the Current Truth, so you better believe it). It is thought that this will eliminate the danger of the Moon being flooded by the rising sea levels.
The good news is, if the glaciers continue to melt at the current rate, by the end of Trump's presidency we will be able to reach Mars just by poking it with an ore while sitting in a canoe.
6/28/2019, 8:25 pm
Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:Your beloved Sergei, hero of election influencing, is back...
A most excellent video! I just have one issue with the facts at the 2:40 mark. Actually, Alice Kramden was the first woman sent to the moon in 1955. I thought every one knew that.
This is the official Soviet perspective. During the Cold War, Pravda and The Honeymooners were locked in a mortal struggle for the hearts and minds of the third world. Hence the apparent discrepancy.
In real life, my last name is Gleason. I'm old enough to have grown up with almost every introduction answered with, "Any relation to Jackie? Har-har!" I think I'm owed something in the way of reparations.
6/28/2019, 8:29 pm
Red Square wrote:I thought the first woman on the Moon was Marianne Williamson, who was not only born on the Moon, but continues to represent the community of undocumented Lunatics.
And, by the way, Trump has declared the Moon to be part of Mars (it's the Current Truth, so you better believe it). It is thought that this will eliminate the danger of the Moon being flooded by the rising sea levels.
The good news is, if the glaciers continue to melt at the current rate, by the end of Trump's presidency we will be able to reach Mars just by poking it with an ore while sitting in a canoe.
I had to look her up to see who you were talking about.
6/28/2019, 8:53 pm
The real current truth about Alexey Leonov not being able to get back in:
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Alexey.
Alexey's not here.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me, Alexey.
Alexey isn't here.
Knock knock knock.
Who's there?
Alexey!
Alexey isn't here.
Knock knock knock knock knock!!!
Who is it?
Alexey!!!
Alexey's not here.
No, I'm Alexey you idiot!
And this went on for some time...
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Alexey.
Alexey's not here.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me, Alexey.
Alexey isn't here.
Knock knock knock.
Who's there?
Alexey!
Alexey isn't here.
Knock knock knock knock knock!!!
Who is it?
Alexey!!!
Alexey's not here.
No, I'm Alexey you idiot!
And this went on for some time...
6/28/2019, 11:17 pm
The turning point:Margaret wrote:The real current truth about Alexey Leonov not being able to get back in:
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Alexey.
Alexey's not here.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me, Alexey.
Alexey isn't here.
Knock knock knock.
Who's there?
Alexey!
Alexey isn't here.
Knock knock knock knock knock!!!
Who is it?
Alexey!!!
Alexey's not here.
No, I'm Alexey you idiot!
And this went on for some time...
Pavel: Hey, where is Vodka?
Alexei: I took it out with me to chill it, you idiot!
Pavel: Oops! I let you in.
6/29/2019, 9:03 am
Wow, learning never ends!Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:... Alice Kramden was the first woman sent to the moon in 1955 ...
CIZ: "I thought every one knew that."
GD: Nope. Transatlantic hillbilly, I didn't.
6/29/2019, 9:26 am
SENSATIONAL!Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:What is the next first thing to be done? We must put the first LGBTQЙЖ+ into space. ...
Russkies already work on that! They adapt the design of R-7, the Semyorka. It will become RЙЖ-7, Transemyorka.
I hear like feel, Komrade Chief Designer (SK) is fully on fire for this (historically unprecedented!) hopeful change.
Overwhelmed with enthusiasm, Chief Designer flamingly affirms: "Yes"(!) "Sure"(!)
The main problem is, of course, the ostentatiously phallic design of Semyorka. Currently, two concepts are followed on how to de-phallocrate it.
- The MF (More Frills) proposal is:
"Soften" the outer appearance of the rocket to such an extent as to drown out any phallogocentric whiff. Like: Wrap Transemyorka in LGBTQЙЖ+ flags ; dress the lower half of Transemyorka in Turkish pantaloons ; decorate all portholes with sensual drapes ; at the top of Transemyorka install a fanner intermittently blowing spurts of rainbow snowflakes ; etc.
- The other - and favored - concept is TT (Topsy-Turvy):
Transemyorka will simply be a Semyorka turned on its tip. That way, the phallogocentric appearance is gone, and Transemyorka looks just like a revolutionary flower bouquet, da? There is some work to be done on the thrusters, but that's it.
All those (TPC-exclusive!) news come from Omsk-based transagent Adwerd Snewdon who queerly fluids between a treasonous persona of "Melsea Cunning" and an iron-fisted phantasm of "Agent Stealey".
As of this writing, Snewdon-Cunning-Stealey already passed his sensational findings to Trumputler's powerful influencer - Bolpom Tonpeo!
Here, have a sneak peek.
ACHTUNG: Leave ALL your recording devices (yes, pencil too) at the Mystery-Checkpoint!
Mystery item No. 1
Hide it back 6/29/2019, 11:05 am
Здорово! Мне очень нравится.Genosse Dummkopf wrote:SENSATIONAL!Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:What is the next first thing to be done? We must put the first LGBTQЙЖ+ into space. ...
Russkies already work on that! They adapt the design of R-7, the Semyorka. It will become RЙЖ-7, Transemyorka.
I hear like feel, Komrade Chief Designer (SK) is fully on fire for this (historically unprecedented!) hopeful change.
Overwhelmed with enthusiasm, Chief Designer flamingly affirms: "Yes"(!) "Sure"(!)
The main problem is, of course, the ostentatiously phallic design of Semyorka. Currently, two concepts are followed on how to de-phallocrate it.
- The MF (More Frills) proposal is:
"Soften" the outer appearance of the rocket to such an extent as to drown out any phallogocentric whiff. Like: Wrap Transemyorka in LGBTQЙЖ+ flags ; dress the lower half of Transemyorka in Turkish pantaloons ; decorate all portholes with sensual drapes ; at the top of Transemyorka install a fanner intermittently blowing spurts of rainbow snowflakes ; etc.
- The other - and favored - concept is TT (Topsy-Turvy):
Transemyorka will simply be a Semyorka turned on its tip. That way, the phallogocentric appearance is gone, and Transemyorka looks just like a revolutionary flower bouquet, da? There is some work to be done on the thrusters, but that's it.
All those (TPC-exclusive!) news come from Omsk-based transagent Adwerd Snewdon who queerly fluids between a treasonous persona of "Melsea Cunning" and an iron-fisted phantasm of "Agent Stealey".
As of this writing, Snewdon-Cunning-Stealey already passed his sensational findings to Trumputler's powerful influencer - Bolpom Tonpeo!
Here, have a sneak peek.
ACHTUNG: Leave ALL your recording devices (yes, pencil too) at the Mystery-Checkpoint!
(... and now don't forget to pick up your devices at the Checkpoint!)
6/29/2019, 3:11 pm
Genosse Dummkopf wrote:Wow, learning never ends!Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:... Alice Kramden was the first woman sent to the moon in 1955 ...
CIZ: "I thought every one knew that."
GD: Nope. Transatlantic hillbilly, I didn't.
Oh yes, G.D., it was well known.
CIZ: "I thought every one knew that."
GD: Nope. Transatlantic hillbilly, I didn't.
CIZ: Which one of us is the transatlantic hillbilly?
6/29/2019, 3:21 pm
Is transatlantic a new gender?
6/29/2019, 3:45 pm
writtenClara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:...Genosse Dummkopf wrote:Wow, learning never ends!Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:... Alice Kramden was the first woman sent to the moon in 1955 ...
CIZ: "I thought every one knew that."
GD: Nope. Transatlantic hillbilly, I didn't.
GD: Nope. Me transatlantic hillbilly, I didn't.
CIZ: "I thought every one knew that."
GD: Nope. Transatlantic hillbilly, I didn't.
CIZ: Which one of us is the transatlantic hillbilly?
intended
(jawohl, Komradette Clara, I vill report at Kommissarka Of Korrekt Expression Of DeepThinks.)
6/29/2019, 6:23 pm
Genosse Dummkopf wrote: written
intended
(jawohl, Komradette Clara, I vill report at Kommissarka Of Korrekt Expression Of DeepThinks.)
Haaaaaahaaaaahaaaaaa..........I knew that G.D. I couldn't resist joshing you. Coincidentally I too identify as a transatlantic hillbilly. ; )
6/29/2019, 6:47 pm
Jawohl!Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote:... I couldn't resist joshing you ...
Joshing is the salt1 in soup, the evening kasha in mess tin, the Red Sun in Our Kubic Hearts!
(& whaddya think would the Apollo guys, and Korolev's pals, achieve - if there was no joshing2?)
1 oversalt verboten!
2 like e.g. the hilarious nano-story of Mr. Gorsky
6/29/2019, 8:27 pm
Genosse Dummkopf wrote: Jawohl!
Joshing is the salt1 in soup, the evening kasha in mess tin, the Red Sun in Our Kubic Hearts!
(& whaddya think would the Apollo guys, and Korolev's pals, achieve - if there was no joshing2?)
1 oversalt verboten!
2 like e.g. the hilarious nano-story of Mr. Gorsky
Absolutly!
Much (or if I switch to Spanish, Mucho) kommunist joshing and kolmraldery takes place around the KKK (Kommunist Kommute Kampfire).......I can't wait to have our first KKK Meeting on the Moon.
6/30/2019, 7:24 am
Horrific!Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:Is transatlantic a new gender?
Immediately, while in korrektive session at Kommissarka Of KorrektSpeak, pondered on this.
Shovel-whack assisted, I saw the light and soon came to a conclusion that "transatlantic" is, of course, a most despicable supremacist queerfluidophobic appropriation.
"cisatlantic" it beamed.. "cisatlantic" and "noncisatlantic" beamed now from my shovel-enlightened third-eye-chakra, while - just an inch below - someone's nose grew at awesome speed evermore ruby-n-bulby.
Da! cizatlantik, noncizatlantik! hollered Kommissarka, and grabbed the wooden telephone. Khigh UN Komisar I govorit, Kommissarka splained. Me operated the crank madly, generating nonfossil energy for the call-to-be. Khalyo! Khalyo! Meester Komisar? and again Khalyo! Meester Komisar? and again. The window open, Kolyma Upland in bright sun, a babushka scuffles along. Da da, kaput. Telefon kaput. '91, Yelzin declare end Soviet, blitz strike telefon, telefon kaput. Since '91, kaput.
But, but..
cisatlantic, noncisatlantic - the essentials:
Komrade sit in Bavaria, think of zeyself, zey cisatlantic. Think of Komrade in Dar al-Brusseliyah, cisatlantic too. Think of Komrade in Texazistan, zey noncisatlantic. Komrade in Floridabad, noncisatlantic.
Bavaria-Komrade sit in South Carolinyah, zey cisatlantic (of course!). Think of Komrade in Dar al-Brusseliyah - noncisatlantic now.
Komrade Ivan(-of-TB#2) sit in Illesheim, Yur papers bitte - papers say: noncisatlantic. Komrade Ivan sit in Texazistan (here, he cisatlantic!), and think of Bavaria: noncisatlantic!, sure.
Komrade Betinov(-in-Jar).. um, does zir sit at all? And once seated, what's "cis-/noncis-" from zirx perspective? Formaldehyde only knows...
Uff... Complicated business, agreed.
I guess, we need (noncisatlantic!) Komradette RedD's expertise here to decombobulate all the discombobulation.
6/30/2019, 9:13 am
Oh sweet Lenin, this is a can of worms... If I am understanding such things, trans-Atlantic may depend on which side of the Atlantic one is seated. And it can change by switching sides so that what was "them" becomes "us" and what was "us" becomes "them"?
While there are elements of equality, it still smacks of ethnocentrism, exclusion, and marginalization.
This calls for a measured dose of Tractor Barn #2 select Krasnodar Reserve (vintage April) to help me clear my thoughts. Before breakfast. I'll be in the barn for the rest of the day.
While there are elements of equality, it still smacks of ethnocentrism, exclusion, and marginalization.
This calls for a measured dose of Tractor Barn #2 select Krasnodar Reserve (vintage April) to help me clear my thoughts. Before breakfast. I'll be in the barn for the rest of the day.
6/30/2019, 2:03 pm
I wonder, does Sergei promote the donation of funds to the complete lunatic Marianne Williamson's campaign to keep her on stage?
6/30/2019, 2:30 pm
In the meantime, the People's Tractors will be repaired by Ivan's second in command wrench technician.Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:This calls for a measured dose of Tractor Barn #2 select Krasnodar Reserve (vintage April) to help me clear my thoughts. Before breakfast. I'll be in the barn for the rest of the day.
6/30/2019, 2:39 pm
The People's Vocational-Technical College admission standards have been gradually declining. That being said, the little guy does what he's told, puts his tools away clean, and (bonus!) he works for peanuts...
6/30/2019, 11:01 pm
Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:The People's Vocational-Technical College admission standards have been gradually declining. That being said, the little guy does what he's told, puts his tools away clean, and (bonus!) he works for peanuts...
Are we endorsing the marginalization and exploitation of Primate-Americans (either the transatlantic New World type or the non-transatlantic Old World type)?
What have we become!?
PS - I have a photo shoot scheduled later this week in which I will register shock, grief, and emotional and mental anguish. They should be published sometime next year, and the photographer assures me they will be "striking."
7/1/2019, 9:22 am
... and back to Apollo Program!
Evening, nutricious kasha slurped down, and then:
b/c what better way to train your skillfulness? refine your fancy? sharpen your wit?
Evening, nutricious kasha slurped down, and then:
b/c what better way to train your skillfulness? refine your fancy? sharpen your wit?
7/1/2019, 7:02 pm
That last image has marketing power.Genosse Dummkopf wrote:... and back to Apollo Program!
Evening, nutricious kasha slurped down, and then:
b/c what better way to train your skillfulness? refine your fancy? sharpen your wit?
If I typed what I think I just typed, I had better denounce myself.
7/1/2019, 9:35 pm
Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:... trans-Atlantic may depend on which side of the Atlantic one is seated ...
Indeed, can of worms......and wrote:Oh sweet Lenin, this is a can of worms...
How dare kkkapitalizm, a certified tormentor of Gaia, dictate to Antlantic about xiz "sides"?
Gaia was always complex.
Interconnection, everything "sided" with everything, and clean energy blowing from all sides:
What, "old" knowledge?
Nope. And astronautic forays only confirm it! :
Mystery item No. 2
But here the ultimate bankruptcy of white man's imperialistically imposturizing atlantappropriationism!
What if Atlantic self-identifies as "sided" by Arctic and Antarctic?
Spherewisely Tropo-Litho "sided"?
Fluidly Pacif-Indio "sided"?
Non-binarially "sided"?
Non-"sided" at all?
But dihydrogenmonoxideously fluid?
Ha?
Good Marx, leave pristine Cosmos alone!
No Moon, no Mars, no Trump-Trump-Trump!
7/2/2019, 9:54 am
But the astronauts who traveled to the moon must be trans-something.Genosse Dummkopf wrote:Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:
Good Marx, leave pristine Cosmos alone!No Moon, no Mars, no Trump-Trump-Trump!
7/2/2019, 11:07 am
Yeah... Sure...Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:But the astronauts who traveled to the moon must be trans-something.
Those who went there to see Moon's backside, sure... _ trans-.. trans-eh.. trans-yy-eh..
(verdammt, for fuck's sake, what do zey call zose fascinated by - yikes! - the backside?)
7/25/2019, 5:04 pm
Genosse Dummkopf wrote:(verdammt, for fuck's sake, what do zey call zose fascinated by - yikes! - the backside?)
Brown-nosers?
7/26/2019, 2:32 am
d'oh! (slaps forehead), that's it, that's it, spasiba Komrade Blokhayev!Zampolit Blokhayev wrote:Brown-nosers?Genosse Dummkopf wrote:(verdammt, for fuck's sake, what do zey call zose fascinated by - yikes! - the backside?)
yhh, wait...
brown.. but what about other kolors? lllike... black?.. mussul-green?.. rainbow?..
Komrades, we run straight into the trap of kolor-inequality!
Or even worse, soon to become deniers of transkolorizm?
Transkolorizm..
You know, like: brown-noser, but his zyr brown identifies as lilac (which identifies as jade)?
Now what?
Komrades, a conundrum by megatons heftier than the "cisatlantic/noncisatlantic" thingy!
(or, for that matter, the whole Moon-Apollo11-LGBTQЙЖ-Transemyorka affair!)
7/26/2019, 7:23 am
If there was no collusion according to the government, how can Comrade Sergei be a colluder?
This puzzled me briefly until I remembered that it came from the Trump Administration, so it had to be a falsehood. Back to fixing tractors...
This puzzled me briefly until I remembered that it came from the Trump Administration, so it had to be a falsehood. Back to fixing tractors...
7/26/2019, 7:51 am
Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:If there was no collusion according to the government, how can Comrade Sergei be a colluder?
This puzzled me briefly until I remembered that it came from the Trump Administration, so it had to be a falsehood. Back to fixing tractors...
Honorific Ambassador and Tractor Repairman, could you be missing the gear in TRANS(mission) that sez, if Comrade Sergei SEZS he is a Transatlantic Russian Colluder...then F.A.C.T. get over it...and toil to provide his healthcare. Comrade Sergei is just another totally equal. transatlantic hillbilly. Which is totally unconnected to the fact that all declarations from Trump Administration are false. F.A.C.T.
forelock tug and then marchhop to back 40 beet field,
Jackalopelipsky
#BR 549
7/26/2019, 8:04 am
Transatlantic Hillbilly GD.inspecting trans map of earff, Jackalopelipsky's attention was drawn to the 2 Transatlantic BlowHards and the 2 Transpodal Blowhards. What does it mean....??? There must be some hidden white man code in such imagery.... if only Transatlantic Hillbillies could decipher so we can find the Rambaldi Manuscript that proves Trump hired those Russian PeePee Girls that NanNan Pelosi continued to collude to after The Mueller Broke and the Dems have no place to go.:
7/26/2019, 5:35 pm
Nevertheless, Komrade Ivan, it's advisable to check under the bed!Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:If there was no collusion according to the government, how can Comrade Sergei be a colluder? [..aaand..] Back to fixing tractors...
(or cot, or нары, or - ACHTUNG, Komradette Clara! - fainting couch).
(evidence! at 0:05! at 0:05!)