The People's Cube - Political Satire

**8/13/2020, 5:44 pm**

When Kamala Harris is inaugurated as the 47^th President of these United States of America on January 21, 2021, a day after President Joe Biden resigns - citing health concerns and a desire to spend more time with his family and concentrate on his hobbies like bike riding, sniffing hair and sitting young children on his lap – the question will be: Who will be her pick for Vice President?

Many have been speculating on who the possibilities may be.

For a start, we can rule out anybody from California. Our founders, in their wisdom, realized how dangerous it would be for the Union to have two people from California to run the entire executive branch. They had no idea what a Californian was but they knew it was/is a crazy idea to let them run everything.

So let us consider the other possibilities, in no particular order:

Sen. Elizabeth Warren

She is a woman. She is also a Woman of Color. She has a Harvard pedigree as a professor of law specializing in bankruptcy law and helping people to avoid paying for their own expenses. With her in the VP office, we would have a dream team of the first all female executive, the first female president and second female vice president, the first Black female president and the first Indian female president/vice president combination. Together, it would be impossible to criticize the executive because any criticism would be considered both racist and sexist. This will make it so much easier to push through the policies of giving away other people's money.

Stacey Abrams

The Governor in Exile of Georgia should definitely be a consideration. Those racist Republicans were so mean to her by not voting for a deserving Black Woman, and in not giving her the trophy she was entitled to for simply showing up, that she definitely deserves some kind of consolation prize, which perfectly describes the vice presidency. Again, being both Black and a Woman of Color helps to immunize the executive from any kind of criticism. This would also solidify the privileged white woman constituency who seek to alleviate the guilt they feel for the racist philosophy they hold that anyone who is not white cannot achieve anything without their white savior help.

Gov. Kate Brown

The governor of Oregon is the first openly bi-sexual governor anywhere. Adding her to the executive team would inoculate them from criticism on the basis that any criticism would be considered racist, sexist, and bi-phobic/homo-phobic. She's also very pro “rioting is free speech”, “speech is violence” and “silence is violence”, “defund the police” and “black lives matter” which would make her unlikely to be a threat to the newly chosen president.

Former President Joe Biden

He already has experience in the position, he could pursue his hobbies with alacrity and could continue to hide in his basement and nobody would notice or care. If ever any kind of crisis or scandal arises, he could be wheeled out of the basement, say something typically crazy and then the media could spend weeks on how crazy old Joe is becoming and ignore the crisis/scandal.

Sen. Chuck Schumer

He enjoys being told what to do and say by dominatrix Speaker Pelosi. He yaps like a chihuahua whenever necessary and he would be sure to be a loyal lap dog for President Harris. This would also help to placate the Jewish vote which Mayor de Blasio of NYC has spent so much time and energy alienating.

This is not a comprehensive list of possibilities and I'm sure the new President will have a longer list but I suspect all of these candidates will be considered.

**8/13/2020, 7:01 pm**

Our beloved Many Titted Empress Hillary Rodham used to be co-president; she might be interested, no?

**8/13/2020, 8:06 pm**

I thought about that, Comrade, but came to the conclusion that President Harris would prefer to live beyond Jan. 22, 2021.

**8/14/2020, 10:39 am**

Komrade KKK, I'm shocked, shocked...

You never mention (indeed: not even allude to) the variant where His Half-Pigmentedness CommOrg-One or and Her Historical Unprecedentedness Flatus-Forever gripe the Pen-o-Phone of Fundamental Transformativity (as preplanned already in 2008). Only to later ― last days of January 2021 (and Sleepy Creep already out of the game) ― chess-style castle Heels-up Ho aside-n-out.

**8/14/2020, 11:02 am**

"...we bought the house, the kids are in school, and he's out playing golf, but Trump did just get the airplanes painted...mmm hmmmm, yep--I'll keep the calendar clear."

**8/14/2020, 1:05 pm**

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:Komrade KKK, I'm shocked, shocked...

You never mention (indeed: not even allude to) the variant where His Half-Pigmentedness CommOrg-One or and Her Historical Unprecedentedness Flatus-Forever gripe the Pen-o-Phone of Fundamental Transformativity (as preplanned already in 2008). Only to later ― last days of January 2021 (and Sleepy Creep already out of the game) ― chess-style castle Heels-up Ho aside-n-out.

I'm not sure what any of that means, comrade, but I assume it's intelligent because it you've used a lot of words that are over two syllables and I always defer to anyone who can do that. I notice you mentioned FLATUS so I think you are putting her forward as a candidate. Kamala (I use here first name because I feel a certain affinity with her - hence the hair style) may be happy to play second fiddler to Uncle Joe but I just can't see an alpha man such as the School Lunch Queen™ playing second fiddler to a second fiddler. I could be wrong.

**8/15/2020, 4:25 pm**

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:
Genosse Dummkopf wrote:Komrade KKK, I'm shocked, shocked...

You never mention (indeed: not even allude to) the variant where His Half-Pigmentedness CommOrg-One or and Her Historical Unprecedentedness Flatus-Forever gripe the Pen-o-Phone of Fundamental Transformativity (as preplanned already in 2008). Only to later ― last days of January 2021 (and Sleepy Creep already out of the game) ― chess-style castle Heels-up Ho aside-n-out.
I'm not sure what any of that means, comrade...

My bad. Overvalued the legibility of those aliases¹.

¹ dripped into my head by an agent, since 2008,
shady aktsyent (Russiya! Russiya! Russiya!)

(Samokrit! This end-of-week gathering, our whole Kollektive standing in rows awaiting Komrade Direktor's SUQAPPs speech (Sum-Up-Quotas-And-Plans-Plus-Commendations-Denouncements), I will not stand but humbly (and painfully!) take a knee on the handle of my shovel, and listen avidly.)

CommOrg-One, the Community Organizer № 1, aka HopeyChangey, alias Glorious Dear Leader, vel The Anointed One (PBUH), ... Nuanced Nobel-Prize-crowned speechifier lavishly praising His deeds & visions as "historically unprecedented" while orating.

Komrade - if all those honorifics still give you a riddle, you may wish to meet His Historically Unprecedented Half-Pigmentedness (HHUHP), explicitly visualized, here. And witness His sophistication there.

"HHUHP" flashed into my head as I read Komrade ET's recent indoctrination concerning pigmental challengedness.

Lightbringing Messiah, famous for proglobaroquely pompous utterances like "We are five days away from fundamentally transforming the United States of America" and "This [MY-MY-MY nomination] was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal", often evocations of the qualifier "historically unprecedented" (e.g. re His "pen & phone" magikkk), and His ultimate if-if-if-if-if-if-if-if virtuosity.

Yeah, Messiah & FLATUS (Arugula Diet!) . . . . .

I always get goosebumps, once permitted to explicitly name Him . . . . . (and next my
proglo-aggrandizement gland balloons up, giving me Pepe's goggle eyes, heh-heh)

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:... I could be wrong.

Yep, dead wrong.
In Full Absurdity Mode, I scripted:

As preplanned in 2008 by Messiah('s string-pullers) ― and shortly disturbed by Stable Genius ―, by end of January 2017 2021, Placeholder-1 [here: Sleepy Creep] is out of play [arcancide/defenestration/whateva], Placeholder-2 [here: Ka Ho] gets OSCR², and so Messiah (magikkk Pen-o-Phone in grip) or plus Moo, with 250% enthusiastic support of MSM & Deep State, "legitimately return" to WHouse, Place-1 plus Place-2, while KH readily packs 'em bags. That's it.

² Offer She Can't Refuse

finis coronat opus

Mystery item No. 1

**8/16/2020, 1:20 am**

That's all very well, comrade, But I still don't see the School Lunch Queen being offered the job.

**8/16/2020, 4:56 am**

Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt wrote:... But I still don't see the School Lunch Queen being offered the job.

Hah! "offered"? "offered"?? .Messiah('s string-pullers)! Full Absurdity Mode!

(here)

**8/16/2020, 12:00 pm**

Genosse Dummkopf wrote:

(here)

Is it that these movers with spades shovels are singing "Wir sind die Moorsoldaten"? Is that not dangerous to do before the face of the School Lunch Queen?

**8/17/2020, 11:49 pm**

Willie Brown?

**8/18/2020, 12:55 am**

He's Californian. Otherwise he would probably be one of the top contenders. Of course, he could always move into Joe Biden's basement in Delaware.

The People's Cube - Political Satire

Who will be Kamala Harris' VP pick?