Surfing and the Ocean are now RACIST!

You were wondering what was next, well here it is...

"Segregated Waves:" Now Surfing and the Ocean are Racist


“That’s threatening to a local… who feels this like deep entitlement because of their whiteness and their privilege.”

SF Weekly managed to ruin an interesting story about a woman trying to make surfing appealing to females, blacks, and indigenous people.

The weekly publication framed the story around racism instead of exploring these organizations women started to bring those people into the sport.

What's next after this? Maybe they'll be a movement to rename the "Great White Shark?"


 

But.. but.. surfing is a hamfistedly imperialistic hydrodyno-appropriation from Pelicans and all other Persons of Precious Maritime Fluids (Sharkies of ANY color included). Howbow dah?


 

Go to the leeward coast of Oahu. Makaha for you haoles. Try to get in the surf line being pigmentally challenged. You will kiss the reef. By accident of course. Tourist tip: when they say, "What the fuck you doin' here, haole?" it's usually time to leave.

And haole is kinda like Cabron, or even Cracker. If said by a friendly face, it's ok. By an unfriendly, not so much.
 

This would come as a big surpise to Duke Paoa Kahinu Mokoe Hulikohola Kahanamoku, surf legend and all-around good guy.
 

Paoa Kahanamoku was Honolulu Sheriff! Denounce yourself for believing he is a good guy!

Er -- wait, Duke was indigenous pigmented local motion boy. I am now so confused.

Even so, I doubt I will try to surf in Makaha anytime soon. But then again, I won' try to surf anywhere.
 

[prog off]

Duke Paoa Kahanamoku is indeed a major Hawaiian hero. The Babe Ruth of both swimming (multiple gold medals and some guy named Weissmuller only beat him because Duke had pneumonia.) and obviously, surfing.

Brought surfing to Kalifornia and the land of Oz. One of the original beach boys. Was he exploited? Almost certainly.

Did he end up being a VERY FV<KING wealthy guy that NEVER had to buy a meal or a drink in large parts of the world? SHIT, yeah!

What a horrible tough life, being adored by millions. Too bad he was soooooooooooooooooooooo discriminated against.
 

Surfing? WTF is surfing Bro?

Let me look it up on my Party Approved search:



Ok, it is Soviet HD TV, but I bet рублей to пончики that this wasn't on non-party leaders' TV.


Here we go, from Comrade President Clinton's favorite list:


No, surfing must be racist. Not done here in the Third Ward.





 

Komrades ET and $$: Any transmissions (notes? wiretaps? sms?) from those sublime occurrences when His Historically Unprecedented Half-Pigmentedness bestowed on Oahu the glory of separating its precious surfily fluids by means of His empyrean magikkk?







@ Komrade C2G:
Да. Эпштейн не убивал себя. Let's hope that Ghislaine gal тоже.
 

Ellsworth Toohey

Even so, I doubt I will try to surf in Makaha anytime soon. But then again, I won' try to surf anywhere.

A splash in the surf and enjoying the scenery from Dukes at the Outrigger Waikiki is all my age allows me to do anymore.
 

$.$. Halliburton

Ellsworth Toohey

Even so, I doubt I will try to surf in Makaha anytime soon. But then again, I won' try to surf anywhere.

A splash in the surf and enjoying the scenery from Dukes at the Outrigger Waikiki is all my age allows me to do anymore.

Comrade Halliburton. If you are at Duke's this coming winter, I shall purchase a drink for you. Bartender Mark will take good care of you. Sunday's can be crowded with Henry Kapono (and his groupies in the audience) , but worth the effort.

Better yet the Hula Grill upstairs has better food, albeit without the music, which inexplicably doesn't reach the second floor restaurant. They do, however mix a killer martini. January to April. PM here and I will meet you there to buy you one.
 

Genosse Dummkopf

Komrades ET and $$: Any transmissions (notes? wiretaps? sms?) from those sublime occurrences when His Historically Unprecedented Half-Pigmentedness bestowed on Oahu the glory of separating its precious surfily fluids by means of His empyrean magikkk?

        Mystery item No. 1

Weissmuller. Phew, you really can't go lower than that.

"Weiss" (vhich ze Krauts vrite "Weiß", offkors) - White.
"Müll" (vhich ze Krauts vrite ekzaktly zat vay) - Garbage.

(ok, admitted: "Müller" means, um, Miller - not Garbag-er ; on ze odzer hand, "Garbag-er" is called Müllmann here ; can you fall any lower zan zat? "Müll" + "Mann" = Garbage + Man ; phooey! phooey! spit!)

      Hide it back  (Turn mouse upside down and click. If that doesn't work, try standing on your head)

@ Komrade C2G:
Да. Эпштейн не убивал себя. Let's hope that Ghislaine gal тоже..


I have happily never encountered the anointed one (PBUH) on the beaches of Waikiki. Then again, I don't usually hang at the hip, trendy places. For some reason, he doesn't seem to be a regular at Ft. DeRussy. Doubt he would find the adoration he craves there. Too many seals of the hu-man variety. They most certainly do NOT adore him. The anti-American traitors.
 

Ellsworth Toohey

I have happily never encountered the anointed one (PBUH) on the beaches of Waikiki. Then again, I don't usually hang at the hip, trendy places. For some reason, he doesn't seem to be a regular at Ft. DeRussy. Doubt he would find the adoration he craves there. Too many seals of the hu-man variety. They most certainly do NOT adore him. The anti-American traitors.
Wait, wait, wait.
DeRussy? DeRussy??

There you have it, Komrades! Russy, Russy, Russy!
Of course you don't see PBUH in such an infested place! _( ptui, ptui, ptui! )

But sure enough it's Trumputler's dream - to stick there his, you know.. flagpole...



(don't know the Trump/flagpole story? Komrade, either go to this corner of our Gulag and test-search for <flagpole>, or do a beeline straight to the story, it's hilarious! and very very Trumpish!)