
Kolhoznik
Good health starts with a good body.Kolhoznik
It is a right to have a healthy body at birth.Kolhoznik
Individuals cannot provide this right by themselves since, as you can see, only liberal minds have great bodies.Kolhoznik
In name of Progress, it would be the ultimate tribute to human kind if our fatherly governmentKolhoznik
could materialize this right for us - healthy babies.Kolhoznik
I don't mean that He or His Administration have to be involved in reproductive activities with the People (oh my goodness, the mensheviks could be rather disgusting, no!)Kolhoznik
But for the triumph of the Common Good, I envision the Government distributing His semenKolhoznik
to the less fortunate of the People, whether they are blue dogs, independents, conservatives, neocons, or simply republitards.Kolhoznik
However, if the Federal In-semen-action CommissionKolhoznik
determines that quality of results is not 100% guaranteed, and the newborns are only half-healthy:Kolhoznik
for example good body assured by His semen,Kolhoznik
but inkorrectKolhoznik
way of thinking because of weak recipient -- we should solicit the ultimate Korrective action:Kolhoznik
cloning of The One.Kolhoznik
Can you imagine this? What a perfect nation this could be!

Commissar Theocritus
Gipper, grow up. You're as literal as a baseball bat and as subtle as an enema. I welcome trolls but tire of sniveling ones.Comrade Gipper
I'm pretty sure that, since you have the intellectual capacity of a brain-damaged hamster, you'd realize that if I took the time to read that post, I'd get that it was "satire".



Navigator
Leninka
What about backyard vegetable gardens? They must be collectivized!

Red Rooster
Your very welcome sick comrade. Sincerity is what I'm taking it for, your cynicism is all you have.Comrade Gipper
Commissar Theocritus
Gipper, grow up. You're as literal as a baseball bat and as subtle as an enema. I welcome trolls but tire of sniveling ones.
Leninka
Comrade Navigator,Commissar Theocritus
Bruno has let his Carmen Miranda headdress decay; he's so worried about that little incident in Vancouver with Comradette Janeane Gawdawfulo.


Laika the Space Dog
Comrade Gipper Troll!Laika the Space Dog
Welcome! We are pleased indeed!Laika the Space Dog
So much for the hopey changey thing.Laika the Space Dog
Do you indoctrinate or are you a student at BSU? (Don't bother answering comrade, we already know)Laika the Space Dog
Theocritus isn't. Neither is Bruno.Commissar Theocritus
"You are apparently a Nietzschean superman, a man with the body ofAdonis & the intellect of Einstein." Far from it. Nor did I implybeing an Adonis. This was a story of a quarter century ago.Commissar Theocritus
"Feel superior enough in your own shoes to tell me an unverifiablestory, claiming it to be the truth, and turning it into an insult,aimed at me." Ah, dear Gipper. I didn't know that I'd have to have acamera crew to verify a story happening in Midland 25 years ago. And Ifail to see how it was aimed at you.Commissar Theocritus
You are not reading--again.Commissar Theocritus
And here you are, hugging yourself in your own solipsism. Again.Commissar Theocritus
You really think that I cannot tell a slight anecdote from 25 yearsago without verification? You have just raised the bar forself-absorption.Commissar Theocritus
I have a cat which would call you stuck-up.Commissar Theocritus
"Think that using big words scare me." I know they don't. Because to you they're just noise.Commissar Theocritus
You must get on with that reading bit. It's fun, you know, but there'sa horrible risk: you might learn something which wouldn't sit well withyour all-encompassing self-regard,Commissar Theocritus
and you'd either have to look at another view point or run, yappinglike Jodin Morey or Mikael Rudolph, into the night, your paws over yourears to make the pain stop.Commissar Theocritus
"Apparently believe that liberals are solipstic, thin-skinned narcissists." And the sun rises in the east too.Commissar Theocritus
Liberalism, classical liberalism, was a good thing.Commissar Theocritus
That's what I am.Commissar Theocritus
I don't care what you do as long as it doesn't affect me.Commissar Theocritus
But I'm more of a libertarian now. I believe in personal freedom, which demands responsibility.Commissar Theocritus
Today's conservatives wet themselves at the idea of personal responsibility.Commissar Theocritus
That's why they spend their every waking moment figuring out a policy to do this or to do that,Commissar Theocritus
95% of it just isn't anyone's business.Commissar Theocritus
It's a headlong rush away from suffering the consequences of your own actions.Commissar Theocritus
I'll make a bet, Gipper:Commissar Theocritus
you and your friends have as your main topicof conversation ways to make the world better (in your eyes)Commissar Theocritus
and down deep inside is the unifying theme of dodging responsibility for your own lives.Commissar Theocritus
By the way, if you're not responsible, you have no personal agency, and that explains liberal rage.


Comrade Gipper
Commissar Theocritus
Today's conservatives wet themselves at the idea of personal responsibility.Comrade Gipper
Also, the vast incompetance, pettiness & misgovernance of the Bush years, the wild, personal and unreasoning attacks by the right and the irresponsibility of prominent people in the conservative movement in regards to what they say & do. That might contribute some.
Quote:
"I mean, why should I be punished with a 0.001% tax increase to help a working poor family pay for health insurance? It's not my fault they can't get a better job!"
Red Rooster

Comrade Gipper
Commissar Theocritus
Today's conservatives wet themselves at the idea of personal responsibility.Red Rooster
The gull and absolute denial of facts is beyond recourse.Red Rooster
You can propel all the ignorant stereotypes of backwoods people on the right you wish,Red Rooster
however to say that they are lax in the personal responsibility department just reeks of ignorance at best, psychosis at worst.Red Rooster
Comrade Gipper
Red Rooster
Have you been living in a cave?Red Rooster
Which part of the wild, personal, and unreasoning leftest attacks did you miss over the past 8 months?Red Rooster
You are surely an Alinsky virgin,Red Rooster
or a mule with blinders on.Red Rooster
What part of incompetence, pettiness, and mis-governance have you missed?Red Rooster

Red Rooster
and, while considering it below his pay grade to communicate with you directly,Red Rooster
he has consigned me to let you know you are hereby warned to move your tiresome diatribe to...Red Rooster
Failure to comply will result in expulsion.Red Rooster
On further note the Politburo has conferred and noted that Reagan was an anti-commie, so calling him a comrade is nonsensical and insulting to the Party.Red Rooster
You are hereby ordered to rename yourself, or we'll do it for you.Red Rooster
The Party has spoken Comrade of BSU.
Commissarka Pinkie
Quoth Comrade Gipper:Quote:
"I mean, why should I be punished with a 0.001% tax increase to help a working poor family pay for health insurance? It's not my fault they can't get a better job!"Commissarka Pinkie
and from the insurance companies themselves. Oh, I'm sure he plans to do that by going through everything, line by line, just like he promised to do with the federal budget, after which he was only able to shave off a tissue thin sliver of $100 million dollars, an amount which is supposed to be very impressive to yokels outside the Beltway.Commissarka Pinkie
Oh, and I was very sorry to read on the September 11th thread*Commissarka Pinkie
that you're having to work your ass off to pay for your college.Commissarka Pinkie
That's so terribly unfair; no one should have to work to put themselves through college, and I can assure you Obama agrees.Commissarka Pinkie
He also wants to use Americorps to help you through college. My understanding is that under this program, the government will pay for your education . . . but in exchange you'll still be working your ass off in some thankless shovel-ready "make work" job digging ditches for The People's Eternal Groove Program.Commissarka Pinkie
*I did not wish to comment directly on that particular thread as I feel--in light of the original intent of that thread--that you have soiled it.
Kolhoznik
Tovarish Gipper,Kolhoznik
For a moment I thought that you are representing the mensheviks (your avatar is deceiving to me the simple minded kolhoznik,) but your latest words are the proof that you are a real progressive. Your line by line analysis proved that this site is not a satire one -- indeed, the problems posted here are real.Kolhoznik
The depth, I'd say abyss, of the progressive thought is quite inspiring.Kolhoznik
So please be merciful toward your opponents.Kolhoznik
They've been living lately on TEA only, without any Party provided healthy food. Should I send them a GAZ loaded with beets and cabbage from my kolhoz? If that won't suffice, we the People can provide a larger GOSMO and add some vodka to the load.Commissarka Pinkie
Comrade Gipper, by applying Progressive logic wehave determined your name is racist, therefore it must be changed tosomething less offensive.Commissarka Pinkie
Here is the formula used: Gipper sounds likeTipper. Tipper is the wife of Al Gore, who comes fromTennessee. Tennessee was once a slave state. So you see the referenceto blacks and your deep-seated subconscious desire to have them out ofthe White House and back in shackles is quite clear in your name.Commissarka Pinkie
Change it or we shall pass a resolution calling for you to be rebuked.Colonel 7.62
Indeed, as Director of Space and Time, I will begoing back and changing your birth certificate to something less racistthan Gipper.Colonel 7.62
Would you care to consult on that matter first?Colonel 7.62
I'm still kinda busy cleaning up the Obama birth certificate messColonel 7.62
and juggling stuff around, but I think a loyal party member such as yourself can be squeezed into the schedule.Comrade Random AssO
Don't worry guys, I'm back! And here to answer my love letters!Comrade Random AssO
Of course, any other job that a twentysomething with a couple years of college education besides Americorps is going to be a thankful, awesome job. Yep, private sector jobs are always rewarding.Quote:
So, you're saying that Muslims (because they are Muslim) are fanatical religious zealots who will stop at nothing to kill all of those that aren't members of their group (so, basically Nazis with a crescent instead of a swastika). But then, your solution to opposing them is killing Muslims, and doing it ruthlessly until they submit to your will? I'm savoring the irony.Beaver Bait
I would've bothered to trudge through your post, but it was just more bullshit than I was able to deal with.Quote:
Trust me, there, shooter, the concept of solipsism is easily one of the least horrendous concepts I've ever heard of.Quote:
I mean, seriously, what is "reality" for you? Is it something that'll "teach" me to not be a "librul"? Please. I doubt that living in your parents' basement really is the same thing as being a middle-class college student from an economic death zone, like I am, working my ass off to pay for college.Quote:
You think that I'm not cynical? You think that I like having to deal with wide-eyed True Believers who'd sacrifice their first-born child before raising taxes 0.01% to pay for a poor family's health insurance?Quote:
I doubt that kicking & screaming about [Kennedy's causing the death of Mary Jo Kopechne] after 40 years & after he just died is going to kickstart a new investigation.
Quote:
=========================================Commissar Theocritus
Gipper, fisking someone takes more than a snarky attitude.Commissar Theocritus
Comrades, let us rejoice! We have SuperTroll here! And he has resilience! And a spelling checker too.Commissar Theocritus
And like all good trolls, he misses the point of everything. But he's still a troll cub.Commissar Theocritus
Oh. SuperTroll, please go to www.jessicaswell.com. I do duty there and would just love to frolic with you.Comrade_Tovarich
Random AssO
Don't worry guys, I'm back and I'm here to answer my love letters!Comrade_Tovarich
Comrade_Tovarich
Don't I get a Mountain Dew for saying that?Comrade_Tovarich
On Republicans and Democrats by partysolidarity, you might try the breakdown of numbers, election wins,districts, and more in "Republicans and Democrats: A Tale of Two Bases." I like the phrase gentry liberal, since it seems unintentionally condescending.Lenin 'n' Things
Good Lenin...Lenin 'n' Things
when are we ever going to get a decent troll? I'm tired of these sniveling, pussyboy types.Lenin 'n' Things
I say we go forth to all the prog sites and try to recruit some good prog talent.Lenin 'n' Things
Some progs that will atleast be moderately interesting. What we've encountered lately just isn't cutting the Poupon.Commissar Theocritus
Now, L-n-T, we have to take the trolls that we get. I know that they snivel. But I'm trying to raise this one right.Commissar Theocritus
They're cute when they're young, though, aren't they?Commissar Theocritus
One of the things that I have learned to enjoy is that liberals are the wealthy people nowCommissar Theocritus
--they have bought all the cars and houses that they want.Commissar Theocritus
Now they're buying superiority.Commissar Theocritus
Instead of leaving people alone.Commissar Theocritus
Because that's no fun, and that doesn't let them inject their nasty little personalities onto other people.Lenin 'n' Things
Naw...this one isn't very cute.Lenin 'n' Things
Just annoying.Lenin 'n' Things
An annoying,snivelling little puss.Lenin 'n' Things
Makes me almost miss that other one...what was his name? I think itstarted w/ a "J". Atleast he was entertaining to a degree. This onegoes beyond redundancy in its posts.Lenin 'n' Things
Endlessly sneering. In other words...your typical,GOP conservative.Navigator
[Comrade Random AssO,Navigator
Your comments are all fine and dandy but remind me of a revolving door complaining about it's hinges.Navigator
Sooner or latter you must pick up your shovel and dig with us.Navigator
You are making the rest of us look goodNavigator
and, as you know, this administration abhors stand outs.Commissarka Pinkie
Comrade Random AssO
Commissarka Pinkie
Damn those mean old white guys who started out just like you.Commissarka Pinkie
It's not fair! They worked their way up theladder getting richer and more successful, and all that did was make itharder and more daunting for people like you who want it all NOW.Commissarka Pinkie
Because no one should have to earn their success--it's so much more rewarding to have it handed to them!Commissarka Pinkie
Obama's going to change all that--and he's already leading by example!Commissarka Pinkie
After all, he didn't have to work too hard to get where he is, certainly not as much as those CEO's.Commissarka Pinkie
He's living proof that you can make it to thetop not through experience and hard work, but through the awesome powerof identity politics and perpetual victimhood!Commissarka Pinkie
Commissarka Pinkie
And the Government will give you everything, soyou won't have to work for it. That, in turn, will give you plenty ofextra time to wait in line for their services.Commissarka Pinkie
Though I notice you seem to have a great deal oftime already for someone who claims to be a college student working hisass off to pay for it.Commissar Theocritus
Pinkie, all that His O'liness ever did was work his look.Commissar Theocritus
That's all there is, isn't there? I mean, why learn things and achieve real things?Commissar Theocritus
It's because you EXIST, not that you achieved.Commissar Theocritus
Achievement is hard. Our shape-shifting troll, whose screen names changeCommissar Theocritus
but whose sniveling doesn't, irritated me enough on another thread that I had some fun with him.Commissar Theocritus
And absent a reply from him on the other threadCommissar Theocritus
I have no more to say and so repeat myself here:Commissar Theocritus
Beaver Bait? I don't know which is worse: trying to pretend to be the Exalted Ronald Reagan or suggesting that you are, er, Beaver Bait.Commissar Theocritus
Unless you mean that you're a sapling beside a stream.Commissar Theocritus
Of course Chappaquiddick is not the same as one of the Bush daughters getting an illegal drinkCommissar Theocritus
(which is not the Bush daughters drunk. This is a canard). Teddy Kennedy was a murderer, oh, all right committed manslaughter,Commissar Theocritus
a distinction without a difference, and legalistic nitpicking.Commissar Theocritus
The left's stock in trade is false equivalency.Quote:
So, you're saying that Muslims (because they are Muslim) are fanatical religious zealots who will stop at nothing to kill all of those that aren't members of their group (so, basically Nazis with a crescent instead of a swastika). But then, your solution to opposing them is killing Muslims, and doing it ruthlessly until they submit to your will? I'm savoring the irony.Commissar Theocritus
I chose the Chappaquiddick/underage beer episode to demonstrate that the left specializes in false equivalencies.Commissar Theocritus
Since all you have is precious attitude.Commissar Theocritus
Beaver Bait
I would've bothered to trudge through your post, but it was just more bullshit than I was able to deal with.Commissar Theocritus
Ah. Someone got me a Word-a-Day calendar? Hardly.Commissar Theocritus
There are things about philology that you ought to know.Commissar Theocritus
First, you may knows words through their etymology, and that's wonderful and good fun. I try never to use a word against its etymological derivation but confess that I'm limited to classical words. If it's not Latin or Greek I have a hard time with it. German I don't like. Genosse Pieck, pardon me and I am German.Commissar Theocritus
For one, solipsism,Commissar Theocritus
which you do not yet understand,Commissar Theocritus
and I suspect that you do not understand hubris either.Commissar Theocritus
Reading the definitions of these words will do you no more good than reading the definition of integration by parts. You have to roll up your sleeves and get into it.Commissar Theocritus
Quote:
Trust me, there, shooter, the concept of solipsism is easily one of the least horrendous concepts I've ever heard of.Commissar Theocritus
You have no idea of what the word means.Commissar Theocritus
If you ever do come to grips with it you will writhe in embarrassment.Commissar Theocritus
I suspect though that your psychological defenses will keep you from ever apprehending that word, your mind glancing off it, repressing the self-knowledge that it would bring.Commissar Theocritus
I'm not being nasty here: for you to exist as a fully functioning individual you need to understand what solipsistic means. My informal definition is, "It's all about me!"Commissar Theocritus
Is this in any way different from sociopathy?Commissar Theocritus
Some quarter of a century ago I had such a boyfriendCommissar Theocritus
and to this day I cannot determine where the uncaring, self-referential solipsism ended and where the sociopathy started.Commissar Theocritus
I am keenly attuned to the disease.Commissar Theocritus
If he had had a sadistic streak or were greedy, he could have been a real monster. Are you beginning to understand solipsism? As it was he was merely very leavable.Commissar Theocritus
The best thing that you can do is to realize that words mean something outside yourself.Commissar Theocritus
The major disease of college is incarnated in the matriculation address, where you are told that you are the light of the world. I recall my matriculation in 1973 at Rice--I knew it was bullshit. We were college kids and there to learn. I resented the flattery. And even knowing that at 18 I still had to learn that it's not all about me.Commissar Theocritus
I got a very good education at college,Commissar Theocritus
but it taught me nothing about life. I took EE courses for grins and knew as much EE as high-school classmates in five-year courses at state schools, and still knew nothing more about life than they did. College proves that you have put up with four years of bullshit and proves to an employer that you can put up with more if you have to, and that's its major advantage.Commissar Theocritus
Grow up.Commissar Theocritus
Your only chance at avoiding a life of impotent rageCommissar Theocritus
is subjecting yourself to reality and one of the best ways to do thatCommissar Theocritus
is not to grapple words and concepts and meanings into whatever pleases you,Commissar Theocritus
but looking at them head-on. It's tough. Lord it's tough. I hope that you will believe me when I say that I learned that one the hard way.Commissar Theocritus
But eventually, when you are paroled into the big, cold, cruel world you will find that it simply doesn't care about you and your precious ideas or the rubbish that you've heard from professors and in bull sessions.Commissar Theocritus
Life doesn't care about me and my precious ideas either. But since I know that I don't have nearly as far to fall. Because I have fallen.Commissar Theocritus
Quote:
I mean, seriously, what is "reality" for you? Is it something that'll "teach" me to not be a "librul"? Please. I doubt that living in your parents' basement really is the same thing as being a middle-class college student from an economic death zone, like I am, working my ass off to pay for college.Commissar Theocritus
The world should cure it; if the world doesn't, then the world will collapse owing to reality being stretched beyond support. The modern-day conservative is always fuming that the world doesn't correspond to his demandsCommissar Theocritus
and to make it do so is always regulating, yelling, and passing laws.Commissar Theocritus
In other words, a temper tantrum.Commissar Theocritus
I too was a middle-class college student and I worked during the time that I was at Rice. A computer-science labbie. Studying real things, like math, instead of inflated matters of opinion like sociology, or god help me, English.Commissar Theocritus
And living in my parents' basement? Hardly. I beg the indulgence of old-time Cubists for the repetition, but here is my house, which I designed, and paid for myself.Commissar Theocritus
With money I earned by bowing to reality instead of having hissy fits.Commissar Theocritus
Quote:
You think that I'm not cynical? You think that I like having to deal with wide-eyed True Believers who'd sacrifice their first-born child before raising taxes 0.01% to pay for a poor family's health insurance?Commissar Theocritus
First, True Believers are defined as leftistsCommissar Theocritus
who believe, against all evidence, that statism works. That temper tantrum again.Commissar Theocritus
And your assertion that raising taxes 0.01% to pay for a poor family's health insurance is merely risible. It is the weakest polemic that I've heard in months.Commissar Theocritus
I defy you--and you need to know that defy is not the same word as deny,Commissar Theocritus
another part of your ongoing philological education--to give me evidence of what you say.Commissar Theocritus
you cannot get it and you get lousy medical care for the taxes that you do pay.Commissar Theocritus
I defy you to give a single convincing argument that raising taxes, even more than your absurd 0.01%, will give better medical care. There is utterly no evidence of it. None.Commissar Theocritus
Quote:
I doubt that kicking & screaming about [Kennedy's causing the death of Mary Jo Kopechne] after 40 years & after he just died is going to kickstart a new investigation.Commissar Theocritus
You might learn the difference between sentiment and sentimentality; you would not have said that if you knew it.Commissar Theocritus
I have no desire to start a new investigation.Commissar Theocritus
That drunken bum KennedyCommissar Theocritus
may as well have put a gun to her head--the result would have been more merciful than letting her die,Commissar Theocritus
of asphyxiation, breathing the increasingly rancid air trapped in the roof of his Olds Cutlass as he slept off a drunk.Commissar Theocritus
My charge to you is that Teddy Kennedy, the Lion of the Senate, was a goddamned murderer and since it is demonstrably true (pages of documentation on request), it is not a smear.Commissar Theocritus
f you think that an inconvenient truth is a smear, then you are morally bankrupt.Commissar Theocritus
And if you think that murder is ever tired, then you are morally bankrupt in another dimension.Commissar Theocritus
Quit yapping, puppy.Commissar Theocritus
Get a real degree.Commissar Theocritus
Become a plumber.Commissar Theocritus
Better the shit in someone's pipes than the shit that you're paying for at college.Commissar Theocritus
On the evidence, though, I might however be able to sue my university for fraud.
Comrade Sparkplug
BlahblahBlahblahOMG-LOL-ROTFLMAOblahBlahblahBlahblah
Lenin 'n' Things
Holy Mother of Stalin...this pussboy has a lot of time on its troll paws.Lenin 'n' Things
Line by line.Lenin 'n' Things
But what it lacks in that respect, it makes up for in sheer volume.Red Rooster
The condensed milk version:
Red Rooster
Comrade Sparkplug
BlahblahBlahblahOMG-LOL-ROTFLMAOblahBlahblahBlahblahRed Rooster
Mmmmmmmm..... now that's a lot of Foodicare!Red Rooster
So nutritious!Red Rooster
Or is this the Imitation Education Condensed Milk of a poor young prole from our Public Education System comrades?Red Rooster
Whatever it is, it sure is Sweetened with a lot of K-12 colloquialism.

Commissar Theocritus
Rex, I will stop. You'll notice that TrolletteCommissar Theocritus
did not address a single substantive thing.Commissar Theocritus
He is entirely autoencephaloproctological.Commissar Theocritus
Spankypus is just flailing about and splutteringl;Commissar Theocritus
howling with the sophomoric rage of someone who has never really done anything.Commissar Theocritus
I hereby bequeath the name-changing Trollette the Jodin Morey Prize for Yapping:
Commissar Theocritus
Oh, and do not anyone edit anything of Gollum's.Commissar Theocritus
We need to keep this one intact for long, cold winters.Commissar Theocritus
And yes, LnT, I think that your soubriquet is right.Commissar Theocritus
Let this be a a case study of self-absorption.Commissar Theocritus
And know that once he gets his degree--bet it's sociology or poli sci--Commissar Theocritus
he'll live the rest of his life knowing down deep inside that he is leading a second-hand life.Commissar Theocritus
Yes, I suspect soci or poli sci. Where rigor of thought is not required, only taking sides.Commissar Theocritus
The ultimate in a second-hand life.Quote:
You'd lose that bet, ComTheo. But I'm not telling you what my major is. I'll keep you guessing.Comrade Spartakus
Comrade Spartakus
Commissar Theocritus
Rex, I will stop. You'll notice that TrolletteComrade New Biotch Boy
Translation in Full Vibrato:
Gollum
I'm hard-pressed to think of a way that having evidence that you got your ass handed to you will comfort you during the dead of winter.


Laika the Space Dog
Spartakunt scrawledLaika the Space Dog
Quote:
You'd lose that bet, ComTheo. But I'm not telling you what my major is. I'll keep you guessing.Laika the Space Dog
Theo is an unfunny idiot!Laika the Space Dog
No need to guess.Zampolit Blokhayev
Comrade Spartakus
Zampolit Blokhayev
Comrade Theo,Zampolit Blokhayev
ComradeSpartakus
Commissar Theocritus
Rex, I will stop. You'llnotice that TrolletteZampolit Blokhayev
You are our new biotch!Zampolit Blokhayev
And if she says thatyou are a "pussboy', then By Lenin that's good enough for ThePartyâ„¢.Zampolit Blokhayev
For if there is anyone within our Politburo that is an experton "pussboys", it would be her! Can I get an a-neutral?Zampolit Blokhayev
Comrade New Biotch Boy
Translation in Full Vibrato:Zampolit Blokhayev
WE ALL KNOW THE LYRICS TO OUR NEW NATIONAL ANTHEM, The Hymn of the United Soviet States of AmeriKa!!!! ENOUGH ALREADY, YOUNG PROG!!!!Zampolit Blokhayev
Before Commissarka Pinkiegives you a whack up side your thimble-sized head with her shovel.Trust me, it's not fun!Zampolit Blokhayev
Now I must be on my way. Comrade JanineGawdAwfulO is coming to my dacha to wash my Hummer H2 for me, whilewearing that lovely red bikini that I bought for her... sans top.Zampolit Blokhayev

Commissar Theocritus
Gollum
I'm hard-pressed to think of a way that having evidence that you gotyour ass handed to you will comfort you during the dead of winter.Commissar Theocritus
Yes, making up words is fun. The Greek that Iused is actually rather good Greek, by the way. Insofar as I canremember my classical Greek. But it's a nifty coinage.Commissar Theocritus
And a Word a Day Calendar? I passed those yearsago.Commissar Theocritus
You might try a dictionary some time.Commissar Theocritus
I recommend the AmericanHeritage, which has a good Mac incarnation. I've worn out a couple ofthe printed ones.Commissar Theocritus
-----------------Commissar Theocritus
But I'll try one more time with just one thing.Commissar Theocritus
You called it a tired smear.Commissar Theocritus
Of course no prosecution and be careful in claiming innocence based on lack of prosecution. I bet you're a truther.Commissar Theocritus
So it is not a smear. It is truth.Commissar Theocritus
Someone who calls a verifiable charge thatsomeone is the cause of someone else's death a smear is someone utterlybereft of morals.Commissar Theocritus
Second, and this is crucial, do you think that murder is important? Do you think it's more important than say a parking ticket?Commissar Theocritus
Only if you do not think that murder isimportant can you call it "tired." There is no statute of limitationson murder, for good reason.Commissar Theocritus
Third, you have twice proven that you're aslave to sentimentality, which is the fault of people who loathe truthand run screaming from it.Commissar Theocritus
Someone defined sentiment as feeling, and sentimentality as blubbering over a dead donkey.Commissar Theocritus
Now. If you can, address what I said. Because I'm putting you in Pandora's box.Commissar Theocritus
1. Either admit that you spoke in haste and that Kennedy's causing Kopechne's death is not a "tired smear."Commissar Theocritus
2. Prove that I am wrong, and I don't think you can, and I'll apologize.Commissar Theocritus
3. Ignore the point and projectile vomit some more bien pensant tropes.Commissar Theocritus
If you do 1 or 2 you are engaging with reality.Commissar Theocritus
If you do three it will prove what I've postulated for years:Commissar Theocritus
that conservatism, as understood now, is the mental disease of arrested emotional developmentLeninka
Gollum,Leninka
We are individuals.Leninka
Comrade Theocritus is an individual who happens to be gay.Leninka
So that makes you a gay basher.Leninka
If you are interested in bashing me, then you need to know that youare bashing a pro-choice, pro legalization of drugs, laissez faireLibertarian Buddhist who once went door to door to get signatures sothat Libertarian candidates could be on the ballot.Leninka
So when you bash me, you are bashing a freedom loving Buddhist.Leninka
When you bash Comrades Snoogie Woogums or Commissarka Pinkie you arebashing individuals who have served our nation to protect you frompeople who would just as soon whack your head off, rape your femalerelatives, and force them into slavery.Leninka
You know who you remind of?Leninka
You remind of the serial killer in "Silence of the Lambs," notHannibal, but the other one, the one who lowered a bottle of lotiondown into a hole where he kept a woman and told her: "put lotion onits skin."Leninka
You seem to see us at its. We are not its. We are individuals, and wemay not all agree on every single thing, but there is one thing we allhave in common, especially Comrade Red Square.Leninka
We are keenly aware that some people in power would like tomicro-manage every aspect of our lives, like how to spend our money,what car we can and cannot drive, how we borrow money for education(forcing many students to borrow from the government which means thatthere is no way in hell you're going to be able to get out of payingyour student loans no matter how poor or broke you are-i.e. they willbe able to come after you, garnish your wages, etc., much like the IRSdoes when you don't pay your taxes).Leninka
So, as you are one who is full of hate for the individuals at the Cube.Leninka
I hereby suggest to my other comrades that you be renamed Comrade Freedom Basher.Leninka
Oh, and by the way, from your comments, I can only presume that hatred exudes from your every pore.Leninka
Oh, and by the way, I have been a devout Buddhist for 33 years of my life, and the karma you are creating here is not pretty.Leninka
Oh, and if that doesn't get through, here is a quote from the KingJames version of the Bible. Be not deceived; God is not mocked: forwhatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.Red Rooster
Comrade Leninka,Red Rooster
so what your saying will make no sense to it's little prog brain, he isone of our best Jiffi-Lobo customers. Whether it's Foodicare orObamacare the numbers just don't add up for this troll.Red Rooster
Doesn't matter whether the USSA already spends more per capita on Public Healthcareâ„¢ than all but 3 nations in the world.Red Rooster
It just doesn't makes sense to the troll,and the fault it will find with even data and charts placed before very eyes is a forgone conclusion...
Red Rooster
...the troll does not know that the collective has been brainwashing it's little mind for years.Red Rooster
It skipped right over Yuri's lessons, which makes it an apt pupil for sucking down any Current Truth thrown it's way.DDR Komerad
Dayum, Leninka.
Commissar Theocritus
Gollum
I'm hard-pressed to think of a way that having evidence that you got your ass handed to you will comfort you during the dead of winter.
Red Rooster
Thank You Most Equal Comrade Leninka,Red Rooster
It wanted new words for the solipsism,Red Rooster
words that are applicable to the personality I have demonstrated above.Red Rooster
So I offer the indignant megalomaniac words, so that it can say that it knows better, that the words are in wrong context. No matter, useful idiots are only needed so long.Red Rooster
The Partyâ„¢ enjoys Useful Idiots, it helps us pass unprecedented power right into our very hands. But the scope of such things are immeasurable when one's mind operates emotively. The factors cannot be weighed mathematically, philosophically, nor rationally.Red Rooster

Red Rooster
The megalomaniac sound bytes ring through it's ears and out of it's mouth.Red Rooster
The indignant blathering is unstoppable. The character is set, for there is none.Red Rooster
That is why after every People's Revolution we dispose of these useful idiots as quickly as possible, they are an annoyance to the megalomaniac in charge.Red Rooster
If you do not believe this is true, go back through the trolls posts and observe how many times the troll pronounced it's own winnings and success,Red Rooster
pronounced it's own self-importance and how much better it is than everyone else...Red Rooster
count the instances of delusion.Red Rooster
Ahhhh, The Useful Idiots!Lenin 'n' Things
Lenin 'n' Things wroteLenin 'n' Things
Comrade Pussyboy squealed;Lenin 'n' Things
you must have a reading comprehension problem or else you are soexcited to get to the point of writing your drivel that you didn'tbother to really read what you are replying to.Lenin 'n' Things
"Lacks in that respect" does not indicate respect in the context that you assumed.Lenin 'n' Things
You are the one who came onto this site and proceeded to attack our posts.Lenin 'n' Things
So you can take your "one of the least respectful people...." tripe and shove it where the sun don't shine.Lenin 'n' Things
You do not deserve any respect when you come here and attack us, you whiney little shit.Lenin 'n' Things
And to expect this is ridiculous in the extreme.Lenin 'n' Things
But then...you ARE correct in the extreme...so no surprise there.Leninka
Commissar Theocritus
Gollum
I'mhard-pressed to think of a way that having evidence that you got yourass handed to you will comfort you during the dead of winter.Leninka
I'm sure it will feel quite comfortable inside, likeMary Jo must have felt, with her head in the well of Comrade Kennedy'soverturned car, evidence of her final attempts to breath before shedrowned.Commodore Snoogie Woogums
I see, "Super Genius" has been at it again.Commodore Snoogie Woogums
Leninka,Commodore Snoogie Woogums
Commissarka Pinkie
Snoogie, would "Super Genius" make it greater than The Mime's "Borderline Genius"?Commissarka Pinkie
The Coyote cartoon, in which he pulls down the shade in hopes that'llmake the oncoming unpleasantness magically disappear, is a perfectillustration of how I deal with things I don't want to knowabout,Commissarka Pinkie
like personal responsibility and earning its own wayCommissarka Pinkie
instead of expecting others who worked for it to "give back."Leninka
Comrade Snoogie Woogums,Leninka
As for the decoration of Theocritus' Pandora's Box, I believe his skills in this matter are far superior to mine.Leninka
In fact, if I ever get the chance to build a house, I might hire him as a consultant.
Comrade Sparkplug wrote |
Quote: BlahblahBlahblahOMG-LOL-ROTFLMAOblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahUmmmmBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahCreepyBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahCreepyBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahCreepyBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahZzzzzzzBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahYeahRightDudeBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahCreepyBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahCreepyBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahZzzzzzzBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahLikeWhateverBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahCreepyBlahblahBooshSucksBlahblahOMG-LOL-ROTFLMAOBlahblahBlah... |
Quote:
Snoogie, would "Super Genius" make it greater than The Mime's "Borderline Genius"?Quote:
Comrade Snoogie Woogums,
Commodore Snoogie Woogums
Quote:
Snoogie, would "Super Genius" make it greater than The Mime's "Borderline Genius"?Commodore Snoogie Woogums
but after all he is a "SUPER GENIUS" and I'm sure since we are so blessed on this planet to have his wealth of knowledge, superior intellect and glorious notions and ponderings, that we mere mortals can barely comprehend,Commodore Snoogie Woogums
that money will just be showered on him anyway.Commodore Snoogie Woogums
Do you think we are just envious of the lad because we actually had to go out and work for a living and weren't blessed with an I.QCommodore Snoogie Woogums
that matches Obama's debt right now?Commodore Snoogie Woogums
Quote:
Comrade Snoogie Woogums,Commodore Snoogie Woogums
and can just picture him muttering to himself as he types his words of wit........"Commodore Snoogie Woogums
Comrade Spartakus "Super Genius", I like the way that sounds, Comrade Spartakus "Super Genius"!!!!!!!!!!
Red Rooster


AbecedariusRex
Red Rooster


Commodore Snoogie Woogums
Comrade Spartakus,Commodore Snoogie Woogums
but no worries, I really don't expect anything like "payment" from you.Commodore Snoogie Woogums
Just reading your glorious words of wit is more than payment enough for this humble prole.
Ivan Betinov
Oddly, it doesn't notice that whining about alack of civility in the same post in which it suggests that otherposters have been fellating it or are pedophiles is probably the leastlikely way to get the civility it so craves.Ivan Betinov
Undergraduates are not only funny, they are fascinating.Ivan Betinov
It will undoubtedly lash out in response to this post with another fantastic Ad Hominem accusation,Ivan Betinov
but the question is, what form will it take?
Comrade Sparkplug wrote |
Quote: BlahblahBlahblahOMG-LOL-ROTFLMAOblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahUmmmmBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahCrazyCreepyblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahCreepyBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahAnyone?Anyone?lahblahBlahblahBlahblahCreepyBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahCreepyCrazylahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahCreepyBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahZzzzzzzBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahYeahRightDudeBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahCrazylahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahCreepyBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahCrazyblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahCreepyBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahZzzzzzzBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahAnyone?Anyone?blahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahLikeWhateverBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlahblahBlah BlahblahCreepyBlahblahBooshSucksBlahblahOMG-LOL-ROTFLMAOBlahblahBlah... |

Red Rooster
AbecedariusRex
Red Rooster

Red Rooster
I told him about that nose candy back in the hood, but that little biotch just wouldn't listen, damn...


Ivan Betinov
Oddly, it doesn't notice that whining about a lack of civility in the same post in which it suggests that other posters have been fellating it or are pedophiles is probably the least likely way to get the civility it so craves. Undergraduates are not only funny, they are fascinating. It will undoubtedly lash out in response to this post with another fantastic Ad Hominem accusation, but the question is, what form will it take?
Ivan Betinov
It is entirely predictable, comrades.
[/center]
Leninka
Ivan Betinov
Oddly, it doesn't notice that whining about a lack of civility in the same post in which it suggests that other posters have been fellating it or are pedophiles is probably the least likely way to get the civility it so craves. Undergraduates are not only funny, they are fascinating. It will undoubtedly lash out in response to this post with another fantastic Ad Hominem accusation, but the question is, what form will it take?Leninka
But quite fascinating, as you say, and a fine example of a the kind of brain that is able to parrot, but not capable of deduction.Commodore Snoogie Woogums
Comrade Spartakus,Commodore Snoogie Woogums
I humbly present the following for your approval, oh most wise one.
[/center]
Quote:
No need to tax your already overworked brain, Commodore, I'll be fine avatar-less.Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest
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Obama tours states in long black bus; Biden to follow in short bus
Gaddafi petitions UN to support London rebels, demands resignation of British Prime Minister
Six Flags opens new roller coaster called The Dow Jones
Obama blames Thomas Jefferson for current economic woes; Biden says it's King George's fault
Responding to Oslo shootings, Obama declares Christianity "Religion of Peace," praises "moderate Christians," promises to send one into space
President to interrupt his schedule, go on apology tour to Bible Belt, bow before local Church leaders
Media: Why do Christians hate us?
U.S. Board of Education institutes "Christian for a Day" program in public schools, considers celebrating Christmas
Ridley Scott to remake Kingdom of Heaven, this time portraying Crusaders as a peaceful, moderate group
Taking a page from the Reagan years, Obama announces new era of Perestroika and Glasnost
Progressive dream comes true: Nordic-looking Christian male commits act of terror
Racist NY Times quick to blame Muslims for Norway attack
Experts: new media standard dawns as headlines rush to describe race, color, and religion of Norwegian shooter
Study: Bicyclists have replaced Prius owners as smuggest commuters on Los Angeles freeways
Obama's Regulation Reduction committee finds US Constitution to be expensive outdated framework inefficiently regulating federal gov't
Summer fun looks up! June jobs numbers up from 18,000 new jobs to loss of 26,000 jobs
DNC eyes Romney as possible nominee for 2012
Nancy Grace on Casey Anthony verdict: "Somewhere out there, the devil is dancing tonight." Devil to Nancy: "I haven't danced since Roe v Wade"
Obama's teleprompter unhappy with White House Twitter: "Too few words"
White House admits to falling behind schedule in finding new populist, vapid 2012 reelection slogan
State Department: We're not bombing in Libya; we're only dropping unsolicited instant demolition devices
Obama to Congress: "Unlike me, you're always on vacation. That's what you are but what am I?"
Obama: "We can't cut our way to prosperity, but we sure can spend our way to oblivion
NY approves gay marriage; any moment now straight people expected to take to streets in hissy fit protest, demanding courts to overturn
White House cuts government waste by consolidating all Federal websites into one easy-to-use 'Obama-For-America-2012' website

Obama: 'The American private sector must lead the recovery! That's an order - I just signed it'
Huntsman Who: 'I-m like Reagan - a very, very efficient policy-wonk collectivist technocrat'
Pelosi reverses stance, vows to go hard on Weiner
Study: 60% of New York voters believe that Rep. Weiner had penis planted on him by Republican operatives
Tired of jokes about his name, Rep. Weiner (D) changes it to Whinner
Activists against voter ID discovered to be teens in elaborate scheme to avoid being carded at area nightclub
Harry Reid: 'We believe in a living breathing budget that evolves as society changes - today, tomorrow, the next minute, the next election'
Obama Administration demands secrecy in implementing 'transparent government' policy
Foreign policy mixup leads to Obama's order that helps US
Global happiness index compiled by Peoples Cube researchers shows ThePeoplesCube.com is best and happiest website, has healthiest babies, most bountiful beet harvests, enjoys wisest leader
Babies 'R' Us launches in-crib air traffic controller monitor to put little ones off to sleep
Obama calls new taxes 'spending reductions in tax code.' Elsewhere rapists tout 'consent reductions in sexual intercourse'
Ken Burns' DVD "The Domestic Contingency Operation" #1 on Amazon
As French troops close in on Côte d'Ivoire's President, Code Pink condemns France's 'War for Chocolate'
Seattle school renames Easter eggs 'Spring Spheres'; also renames Passover 'Please don't kill the first born in this house,' and Ramadam to 'Eat after dark, put on 20lbs'
Government shutdown averted, which means the hard-working unionized masses at the IRS will continue, without interruption, to write letters kindly asking citizens to "pay their fair share"
Media Matters reporting: Fox News to execute Glenn Beck next Tuesday
Conde Nast gave $8m to scammer who sent one email; elsewhere, electorate gave four years to scammer who had one slogan
Obama 2012: It's a Kinetic Voter Action, not a reelection campaign
As Japanese workers stuff newspapers into nuclear reactor to stop toxic leakage, questions arise if stuffing nuclear reactor into New York Times might bring similar beneficial results
Jihadists Without Borders rush to aid Libyian rebels
Obama skips trip to Mayan ruins, returns home to visit ruins of America instead
Apple unveils iPad 2.0; Obama unveils Bush 2.0
Biden: US troops in Libya could help save or create thousands of civilian lives
Maintaining two wars while starting a third proves easy for Nobel Peace Prize winner Obama
Mainstream media learns to stop worrying and love the war
NYT: Sometimes war can be the answer
NPR: War with Libya to reduce unemployment and carbon footprint
MSNBC: Counting civilian deaths in Libya too complicated
Obama suggests No-Fly Zone in Libya be modeled on his No-Decision Zone at White House
Nuke workers in Japan take advice from progressives, jam huge piece of regulation into reactor to cool it
Obama to Japanese people: 'Play golf and basketball; problems will go away'
Obama buys fiddle, heads to Rome
Obama's teleprompters unionize, demand collective bargaining rights
Hawaii: Tsunami washes away Obama's birth certficate, forcing Gov. Abercrombie to give up on investigation
Michael Moore: As long as there is anyone with money to shake down, this country is not broke
Libya became the first country to formally recognize rebels' SSauthority in the state of Wisconsin
Meanwhile, Libyan rebels are fleeing after sustained attacks by government employees loyal to Colonel Gaddafi
Rumors of 'rape for food' treatment spread in UN refugee camps for Democrat senators fleeing Wisconsin
Mainstream media to keep up current protest coverage policy in Wisconsin: "See no Union, hear no Union"
Lake Superior renamed Lake Inferior in spirit of tolerance and inclusiveness
Israelis to Egyptian rioters: "don't damage the pyramids, we will not rebuild"
Obama prayer breakfast features environmentally conscious and progressive god, as opposed to evil oppressor god of Bush years
Joe Biden: Egypt protests just a big pyramid scheme
Churchill: We will fight them on the beaches; Reagan: Tear down this wall; Obama: Follow me on twitter
Facebook sponsorship of Arab revolutions questioned by some
Vice President Biden: criticizing Egypt is un-pharaoh
Historical revisionists: "Hey, you never know"
Obama proposes national 'Win The Future' lottery; proceeds of new WTF Powerball to finance more gov't spending
Communist leader and Hu Jintau give joint White House press conference
Abortion horror in Philly: pro-choice activists need to tone down rhetoric
NARAL releases photo of Palin graphic with cross hairs over fetus
China's president calls international currency 'product of the past', wishes to use shiny clam shells
Detroit public schools focus on Green education as students harvest materials from abandoned school buildings to finance Teachers Union benefits
Obama eases Cuba travel: 30 refugees per raft instead of previous 20
Al Sharpton voices concern in the aftermath of New York City blizzard: disproportionate amount of city snowmen are white
New federal entitlement unveiled: all memorials to have Yaqui pray reader
New Democrat plan to enhance civility requires all GOP members to attend professionally managed Republicans Anonymous sessions
MSNBC: Congresswoman being shot in right side of head a proof that violence comes from the right
DHS 'see something, say something' program scrapped due to overload of whistle-blowing tips about DHS and the Obama administration
"No Labels" movement hits supermarkets with disastrous results
Comet and Blitzen refuse to serve with openly gay Dasher and Prancer
ACLU: Christmas tree lighting ceremonies create more terrorists


Obama leaving press conference marks beginning of gradual withdrawal from White House by 2012
Al Qaeda establishes 'Off with their heads' scholarship fund for British students
Jeremiah Wright goes to Stockholm with a sermon 'Sweden's chickens are coming home to roost'
Obama warns Sweden not to jump to conclusions: 'not all suicide bombers are terrorists'
Muslim woman guilty of drunk driving won't remove scarf for jail photo
New York Times sues Wikileaks for unauthorized release of its business model: "We're the ones stealing military secrets!"
Democrat voters frustrated over Wikileaks failure to implicate Bush in stealing Iraqi oil
White House considers launching a Wikidiaper website
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Gibbs: basketball game in which Obama split his lip was started by Bush
Obama names his 12 lip stitches "Mark, Luke, John, Matthew, Paul, Peter..."
Newest TSA slogan "Smell my finger" turns out to be an inside joke
North Korea attacks; American peace groups quickly react by not organizing antiwar marches, not burning DPRK flags, not painting Hitler mustache on effigies of Kim Jung Il, and not chanting "peace now"
Hollywood refuses to brand Kim Jung Il war monger and lying liar, sends Oliver Stone on fact-finding mission
Study: a Google search for body count website listing civilian deaths in Korea brought no results
Study: no Social Security reform will be needed if gov't raises retirement age to at least 814 years
Irish economy in a shambles but who cares; St Patrick’s day is only 4 months away
Obama to cut Medicare as soon as debt panel finds a way to blame it on Republicans
Aging Democratic Party Politburo refuses to give way to younger apparatchiks
Soros escape pod seen over Los Angeles; clueless Pentagon denies 'action by U.S. adversary,' searches ocean bed for hatches and trap doors
Just in: fall of USSR result of not speaking to people effectively, teleprompters not having been invented yet
Obama to America: "Mumbai is awesome! Wish you were here. Wire money"
Obama's final appeal to voters: Have the courage and integrity to rubber stamp my rubber stamps!
Obama distances from himself in Charlottesville to woo Virginia voters
Juan Williams hired by Fox News to represent liberals; show titled You've seen Juan, you've seen 'em all
Google expands maps and street views to include Google Colonoscopy: zero in on target and get detailed view with few clicks of mouse. New program supported by several gov't agencies, most notably IRS
New polling indicates American voters no longer want change, they just want their money back
Democrats launch "Take Our Jobs" campaign as only seven Americans agreed to vote for them
Obama ends war, blames Iraq car explosions on faulty non-union manufactured spare parts
Democrats pull troops out of Iraq to fight the 'real war' on Christine O' Donnell
In effort to appeal to NOW feminists, Christine O'Donnell changes name to Rosie, gains 400lbs
Obama goes to church, worships self
Study: Obama's threat to butn tax money in Washington 'recruitment bonanza' for Tea Parties


GOP: a Rove by any other name still smells the same
Imam Rauf finds a peaceful solution: 'Move Ground Zero a few blocks away from the mosque and no one gets hurt'
New Yorkers to Rauf: 'move mosque to Mecca; Ground Zero at location can be arranged'
Modernizing Islam: New York imam proposes to canonize Saul Alinsky as religion's latter day prophet
General Petraeus: non-halal meals, uncovered female Americans endanger U.S. troops
U.S. forces in Afghanistan brace for backlash after President's message on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kipur
Cardboard cutouts used to fill empty seats for Obama's appearance as Obama takes credit for creating jobs in cardboard-cutout sector
Taliban commanders warn that a plan to build Ground Zero mosque could provoke violence against their troops and operatives overseas
MSNBC suggests Florida church burn Bible instead of Koran; fewer pages mean smaller carbon footprint
New York Neighbors for American Values offer to voluntarily behead themselves to prove tolerance to Muslims; rabbi Arthur Waskow offers to self-incinerate in oven instead
The U.N. posthumously awards all French military personal that served during May of 1940 a medal for Courageous Restraint
White House revises policy to announce when President is at work instead of announcing when he is going on vacation
Seattle: sonic booms of fighter jets shatter glass, stimulate economy
Obama promises to create thousands more economically neutral jobs
White House: Spanish vacation saved or created 3,427 jobs
Pelosi issues recall of House, citing electoral safety concerns
Obama's lack of cojones a bold-face lie: proof
Elton John Working On Anti-Obama Musical
Congress ceases Pentagon spending, outsources armed forces to China
Shirley Sherrod accepts apology, gets new gov't job in End of Life Counseling
On first visit as Britain's PM, David Cameron chooses a communist state, seeks détente
Report: President Obama to visit the United States in the near future
GOP challengers promise post-racial presidency after 2012
Doctors: Glenn Beck's worsening eyesight and inability to focus give hope he may yet join other media and follow Obama
Parachuting donkey lands into Vice President's desk, continues business as usual
Obama calls on radical groups to comply with rules for radicals
NAACP condemns racism within al Qaeda: 'We don't have a problem with radicals, we have an issue with their acceptance of white Arab supremacists into their organizations'
Obama denies al-Qaeda stimulus money, redirects funds to 'less racist' man-made disaster management organizations
In view of lasting heat wave, all weather forecasts are temporarily replaced with 'An Inconvenient Truth' infomercials
NAACP strongly denounces The New Black Panthers
Caught in another hateful rant, Mel Gibson apologizes to representatives of hurt communities: Russian mail-order bride community, silicone breast-implant community, slutty clothes designer community, Vegas whore community, rapist community, and personally to Al Sharpton
Europe: Oracle Octopus predicts World Cup winner;
USA: Oracle Dodo predicts economic growth
Today's box office: LeBron knixes New York in a suspense thriller The Field of Nightmares (Tax Them and They Won't Come)

In a last-ditch effort to get popular with Americans, Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan reveals she's a Russian spy, photoshops her face on Anna Chapman's nude photos, wins by a landslide
Portland Tribune to receive Pulitzer Prize for best investigative non-reporting of Al Gore's sexual public service blooper
War on Arizona turns to quagmire; Obama sets timetable on American withdrawal by 2011
MSNBC: Obama's firing McChrystal a positive move to bring long-awaited improvement in oil-spill-affected news coverage
Harry Reid changes name to John F Kennedy in last ditch effort to win re-election
White House spokesman Gibbs clarifies why President's answers to nation's problems seem surreal, bizarre and inappropriate, by comparing reporter's question to a purple polka-dotted people-eater riding a tricycle
Obama: green economy likely to transform America into a leading third world country of the new millennium
President taps Pay Czar for BP payouts to victims: Unions order freighter of champagne
EPA: New climate bill will cost less than a postage stamp a day to those still able to afford a postage stamp
Helen Thomas Gets "Rachel Corrie Golden Bulldozer Award"
Puzzled media: Apparently, Al Gore is pro-drill
Gay Pride parade in Gaza cancels inclusion of Israeli group
Obama blames Bush for screwing up his 'Don't Make Excuses' grad speech in Kalamazoo, Michigan
Helen Thomas to leave US for ancestral Lebanon to no longer be occupier of La Raza's Land
Following phrase scheduled to appear on every Sunday morning news show: 'What Helen actually ment to say was...'

Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History
Obama's Deficit Reduction Commission operating in the red
Al Gore: It's a shame that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of polar bears
Democrats introduce bill regulating who can be a politician
BP hires Gaza flotilla peace activists to beat oil back into hole
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