We at The People's Cube make every effort to maintain the image of an unbiased mainstream media outlet. Nevertheless we are being spattered with a lying demagogic red-baiting Big Joe McCarthy-like campaign of persiflage and downright ontological terrorism denouncing us in a kangaroo court manner that our timely news coverage and insightful opinion pieces are skewed toward the left hand side of every debate.
To answer these perverse charges we followed the example of The New York Times that keeps at least one paid conservative columnist to shield itself from the accusations of bias. In that The Times follows the example of Joseph Stalin who shielded himself from accusations of anti-Semitism by keeping one vodka-drinking Jew in the Politburo.
Please welcome to our pages $.$. Halliburton, a dark-spirited reactionary neo-conservative with a shady pharmaceutical past, tarnished by a personal friendship with Rush Limbaugh himself. Though his Neanderthal opinions may be a direct opposite from ours, Mr. Halliburton is a proud addition to our editorial staff, a symbol of The People Cube's commitment to intellectual diversity.
Thank you, commie rat. I try.
I have recently purchased 30 shares of HAL for under $20. I am telling you this to know that I'm going to stick it to you, The Man, by using the dividends to fund revolutionary activities, with what's left after buying my Fair Trade coffee, organic arugula creme brulee, and other foods befitting a revolutionary intellectual such as myself.
If I might, please let me suggest you increase the dividend. Arugula has become more costly of late.
Just wait, come the revolution, you'll get yours, although it seems you're already doing so anyway.
My Country was still Independent, then, not a Kraut Colony, pardon, EC member.
Almost makes me nostalgic for the Red Period, nah, no way...
P.S. I've sent that picture along for some of us to do some Red Annoyance.
It's always Annoy-a-Commie Day...
As every Capitalist must be a good shot, here's a template for you to train your 50 cal rifle: