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As Rome Burns...

When in Rome, do what the government says.

Where's the FLAT MINNESOTA FATS?
--KOOK

Apologies from the great gulag state of Minnesotastan, Comrade Kook. Alas, it was a long cold winter, and we had to burn the Flat Minnesota Fats for heat.

Minnesotastan wrote:Apologies from the great gulag state of Minnesotastan, Comrade Kook. Alas, it was a long cold winter, and we had to burn the Flat Minnesota Fats for heat.

Most unfortunate, I was hoping to see the Fats. I will still come to plant the beets.

Fats?

Check Air Force One, cargo bay...

Tovarichi wrote:Fats?

Check Air Force One, cargo bay...

Most Glorious, indeed.

It's time to recycle another of my old favorites -

While trying to concentrate on making what will be a miraculous "Minnesotastan Fats" pool-shot to astound LIVs in this photo-op session, Obama was understandably distracted by the sound of the rabid Greta van Susteren on Fox News interviewing some Marine whining about being in a Mexican jail for having made a "wrong turn" into Mexico (instead of to San Diego) while possessing (in his gas-guzzling vehicle) three GUNS he purchased in the U.S. in states rejecting the constitutionally correct interpretation of the Second Amendment "right" to bear "arms" being limited to members of the Federal Militia created by President Obama as the "Civilian National Security Force" to become larger and better funded than the Defense Department, so he said, "Turn off that #$%&!# Fox News !"

A nearby hot mic caught a barely audible whisper by someone in the room asking: "Is that about the Marine hero Sgt. Andrew Tahmooressi whose fate Obama told us to ignore after he explained he'd served already the "leave no man behind" goal enough by trading the five Taliban "generals" at Gitmo for the deserter Bowe Bergdahl?"


--KOOK

I am also from cold blue state of Minnesota. Assigned here for thought crimes committed after graduating from University of Minnesota Group Think, Mpls. campus. Since I had no flat Minnesota Fats to burn for heat, I had to make due with local "news paper", Minneapolis Star and Tribune Red Star and Sickle. Burning Rome is sign of progressive success! Fundamentally changed societies will rise from the ashes. Onward to Next Tuesday!

Thoughcriminal of many numbers, you seem to have been away for an extended time, welcome back. There will be some new faces, (and a squirrel) and most likely some hard feelings by those who had to tend your section of the beet fields while you were away... Oh, and your rations were redistributed while you were gone, for the Children ™ , of course.

Thank you for most kind welcome. As a current outpatient in Karl Marx Treatment Center, I am slowly learning to be a good obedient progressive. And with an outstanding example like my Imperial Senator Weird Al Franken, how can I go wrong? Hope you have a shovel ready for me.

New Comrade, stop by your neighborhood Jiffy-Lobo, ask for the Kristallnacht special....
You'll feel like a new man!

Comrade T.C. #7980907,

We realize that you are a new recruit trying to get up to speed.

Since Al Franken is your Senator, I'd say that you're in the express lane to Crazytown.

Oh yes, about your shovel .......

.
Pick one.

Krasnodar,
Minister of Spirits Distribution
Vagabond of the Outer Parts

Krasnodar wrote:Comrade T.C. #7980907,

We realize that you are a new recruit trying to get up to speed.

Since Al Franken is your Senator, I'd say that you're in the express lane to Crazytown.

Oh yes, about your shovel .......

.

Obamanator Master.jpg

Pick one.

Krasnodar,
Minister of Spirits Distribution
Vagabond of the Outer Parts

Comrade,

We don't give the complication of choice to our fellow comrades. It is easier to issue a shovel to them. That way we will not lose people to too much thinking.

Fellow Traveler Hammer and Loupe,

Don't forget that appearances are everything.. especially in the world of Next Tuesday.
It is most important to allow the masses to feel as though they have a choice.

Doing so gives them the illusion that they are determining their own destinys, when in fact, the opposite is true. This makes them easier to control.

The only thing that matters is that our new thought criminal comrade has a shovel,
and ( no matter what logo it has on it ) is digging when and where we tell him to dig.

I think I understand about the illusion of having a choice. Sort of like when we go to vote, and the only votes counted are for the democrat candidate. Much like what happened when Norm Coleman, my former senator, who initially won the election in 2008 was beat out by Weird Al Franken who took the election in a recount. (With the help of the attorney general, and a lot of creative ballot manipulating counting. But there is no proof of any wrong doing.) By the way, the one with the Red Star suits me just fine, thank you comrade!

I had a three beet bet with Scratchanitch that our new comrade would get greedy and try to snatch the golden shovel from Pinkie...

Tovarichi wrote:I had a three beet bet with Scratchanitch that our new comrade would get greedy and try to snatch the golden shovel from Pinkie...

How sore is your head?

Healing quite nicely, the scars are almot hidden by hair, and I have to keep a hat on so that children dont point and stare, but yes, much better, thanks for asking!

Comrade Ivan Betinov doesn't like betting anymore. I floated his beet winnings in his jar last time, and Commodore Snoogie had the mess stewards serve him as stew from the galley of his flagship.

Betinov got his proverbial panties in a wad because nobody wanted any and his feelings were hurt...all those hours in the steam table didn't help any either, poor Ivan hasn't been the same since.

If we are distributing shovels, I would like to recommend the one below. Considering that we are in an election year, note how much campaign material this one holds:

RedDiaperette wrote:If we are distributing shovels, I would like to recommend the one below. Considering that we are in an election year, note how much campaign material this one holds:

Are those breaded turkey cutlets? Mmmmm....

Bon appetiť, comrade...

Tovarichi wrote:Healing quite nicely, the scars are almot hidden by hair, and I have to keep a hat on so that children dont point and stare, but yes, much better, thanks for asking!

Got insurance?

Thought Sheriff wrote:

Tovarichi wrote:Healing quite nicely, the scars are almot hidden by hair, and I have to keep a hat on so that children dont point and stare, but yes, much better, thanks for asking!

Got insurance?

Our Dear Leader already has provided Comrad Tovarichi with insurance. He is also on the welfare program.

Who needs insurance?? I get medical care from the Veteran's Administration or so I'm told...

Tovarichi wrote:I had a three beet bet with Scratchanitch that our new comrade would get greedy and try to snatch the golden shovel from Pinkie...

As a recovering capitalist I may be greedy, but I'm not reckless.

Still, my insurance is up to date so I should be able to weather Pinkie's attentions if the need arises. (That is until I find myself pushed into Glorious ObamaCare)

New Comrade Thought Criminal, someday I must tell you the legend of the record holder who received four whacks of the Golden Shovel of Swift Vengeance, Accurate Righteousness, and Lighting-fast Femininity...in the same post... and lived to tell the tale.

Tovarichi wrote:New Comrade Thought Criminal, someday I must tell you the legend of the record holder who received four whacks of the Golden Shovel of Swift Vengeance, Accurate Righteousness, and Lighting-fast Femininity...in the same post... and lived to tell the tale.

Oh! I have never heard this one! Let me guess...did the survivor have to keep what was left of his body in a jar for the rest of his life?

Thought Sheriff wrote:

Tovarichi wrote:New Comrade Thought Criminal, someday I must tell you the legend of the record holder who received four whacks of the Golden Shovel of Swift Vengeance, Accurate Righteousness, and Lighting-fast Femininity...in the same post... and lived to tell the tale.

Oh! I have never heard this one! Let me guess...did the survivor have to keep what was left of his body in a jar for the rest of his life?

So, the legend is true.

I look forward with much anticipation to Legendary Legend. In the mean while, I will not be so quick to think that I, a lowly thought criminal, could stand up to the "Golden Shovel of Swift Vengeance, Accurate Righteousness, and Lighting-fast Femininity".

T.C. #7980907 wrote:I look forward with much anticipation to Legendary Legend. In the mean while, I will not be so quick to think that I, a lowly thought criminal, could stand up to the "Golden Shovel of Swift Vengeance, Accurate Righteousness, and Lighting-fast Femininity".

Forward my Comrad. Where ever our Dear Leader takes you. Summer camp will do you good. Just remember to dig those trenches deeper, we have lots of bodies irrigation to do.