Comrade Vice President Joseph Iosifovich Biden is now being groomed by the Party to succeed Comrade Party Chairman and President Barack Barackovich Obama as the 2016 Election Campaign begins, according to Party officials at the White Fortress.
Properly engineered elections require at least four years of preparatory groundwork, largely in the area of re-education programming from Collective Broadcasting Services and other agitational activities.
Following on the heels of a President as influential and transformational as Comrade B. B. Obama, it is understood that the Party requires a reliable Socialist candidate who will maintain the Progressive direction of the Party and not attempt to depart from the path set by Comrade Barack. Comrade Joseph Iosifovich is seen by many as a ‘New Brezhnev,’ who will stay the course and not engage in experimentation or a redirection of the State.
Many have expressed optimism about Comrade Joseph’s prospects, even as a white male and officially a member of an identified “Oppressive Race.” J. I. Biden is often identified as an ‘honorary homosexual’ for agitating for Gay Marriage, which may elevate his adjusted score with the Directorate of Victimization Algorithms of the Department of Mandatory Labor.
Also, due to his age and present health, he may be able to run as the first completely disabled President, using his Alzheimer’s Dementia (demonstrated over the last four years) as a qualifying disability under the Americans With Disabilities Act, which is set to be amended so as to add an additional 15% to a disabled person’s election numbers should she or he run for office.
This would clearly put him ahead of Comrade Hillary Hughovna Clinton, who will receive the unwavering support of the Feminist Caucus of the Party, except for members of this Caucus who are also members of the Sexual Minorities Caucus, which outranks the Feminist Caucus under the present rankings of the Victimization List.
What is most important for party members to consider is whether the Party can risk a candidate who may attempt to sway the State away from the progressive path set forth by Comrade B. B. Obama during this past term and what will likely be an even more transformative leap towards Socialism in the next four years. Comrade Joseph is clearly loyal to the president and the Party, and does not show any ambition for change beyond that set by Obama. Like Comrade Chairman Leonid Brezhnev, Comrade Biden is the perfect candidate to preside over the USSA’s Great March into the Future!
Workers and peasants, unite to acclaim Biden as the Successor to Obama! Biden is the New Brezhnev!
Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People’s Cube,
Dialectical Progressivism Translator
Even after a hard day in the beet field, comrades need a good laugh and a good joke as they drink their rationed beet vodka around the collective fire. The prospect of 'Ol Joe running for president provides ample material.
My eyes welled up with tears when I saw your latest poster! Who does not pine away for the age of 'Stagnant Stalinism,' those quiet days of stability and prosperity? All the oppression but none of the firing squads... oh, how I miss those days. Gorbachev was such a traitor to the vision of World Socialism! If only Comrade Leonid could have lived a thousand years!
I think Vice Premier Biden will be announcing his retirement soon, or else his security detail will be directed to take Joe to play in Fort Marcy Park...
When Biden goes, I look for SecTrans Ray LaHood to step in and take his place. All he needs is confirmation by the Senate.