Joe Biden, Pre-Cog

Today, President Soon to be Elected Barrack Obama announced that in addition to Vice President, and President pro tempore, Joe Biden would be given the title of Lead Pre-Cog

Last Sunday night iin Seattle in front of what party officials estimate as a crowd of 750,000, Vice President to be Joe Biden warned that America's enemies would test Barack Obama with an international crisis within six months if he's elected president."Mark my words," .. "It will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy. The world is looking. We're about to elect a brilliant 47-year-old senator president of the United States of America. Remember I said it standing here if you don't remember anything else I said. Watch, we're gonna have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy. I can give you at least four or five scenarios from where it might originate, And he's gonna need help. And the kind of help he's gonna need is, he's gonna need you - not financially to help him - we're gonna need you to use your influence, your influence within the community, to stand with him. Because it's not gonna be apparent initially, it's not gonna be apparent that we're right"

Later in the week Joe Biden mused that CEO's of failing companies would have their pensions confiscated. which caused further market slowdowns. Bidens pre-cognative abilities haven't always been as impressive. Last year, Biden predicted an Iowa Primary win for himself. When asked about that false vision, Biden replied that he was actually correct, as he was predicting his eventual win as Vice Presidential nominee, made possible by Obama's victory.

"The future is ours to see" said Obama. "With Joe Biden as lead Pre-cog and head of the Pre-Republican Crimes Division, America will again be safe. Could Biden determine precisely when and where an attack would originate? Barrack answered "Although Joe is gifted, his talents are not lended to actions planned outside of the country. It's quite probable that this attack will come from angry and bitter conservative supporters or conservative politicians themselves. It's the horrendous nature of conservative thought, that Joe the Pre-cog can capture."

This is how the new administration envisions utilizing Joe as lead Pre-cog; After the election, Joe will submerge himself in a pool of warm water lightly infused with blue toilet bowl cleaner and Rogaine. He will be kept there, exempted from public appearance and remain heavily sedated while listening to speeches given by disgraced Republicans. Occasionally awakened, he will be asked to view photos of current public conservatives and emerging republican candidates and sympathizers to help identify thought criminals, and to reinvigurate the Pre-crime synapse process.

After having a pre-cognative vision, authorities will be alerted to any Republican or Conservative Pre-crime by a wide smirking grin appearing on Joe's face. Democrats feel that the initiative is foolproof. Says Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, "There will be no errors, because there is no innocent conservative. Conservatism by nature, is a crime against humanity." After a vision is verified, three Justices; Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Stephen Breyer and David Souter will render a verdict of guilty, the offender will be placed under arrest, afforded no miranda rights or attorney, and placed into cold storage alongside cryonized Walt Disney and the head of Ted Williams.

Forgive me, Comrade, I laughed so hard I dropped my shovel.

So I'm wondering if Psi-Corp will be a separate agency or will it be a part of either the Presidential Guard or the Committee For State Security?