The Department of Homeland Security announced today that U.S. Customs and Border Protection, under the guidance and oversight of Janet Napolitano, stopped 13,000 "unsafe hair dryers" from entering the US over the border with Mexico.
Unsafe Hair Dryer
When asked why the Department of Homeland Security felt that it was important to prevent the hair dryers from entering the US while allowing thousands of firearms to cross the border under the direction of Eric Holder and the Department of Justice's Operation Fast and Furious,
Presidential Spokesmouth Jay "Carney" Carney slapped reporter Les Kinsolving and yelled "These were UNSAFE HAIR DRYERS!!!" He further stated that President B. Hussein Obama saved thousands of Americans from certain electrocution by preventing the hair dryers from entering the country, thereby creating 3 million new jobs and a windmill farm.
Apparently the hair dryers, unlike assault rifles, had the potential of electrocuting unsuspecting Americans if dropped into water while plugged in.
I was so excited by this news I had to drink some Vodka and eat beets to calm myself.
Just to be sure there were no undercover hair dryers around the gulag, I arranged for all these items to be collected and disposed of in an appropriate manner.
That usually means selling there bombs to non gulag members who live some distance from here.
All proceeds are collected and put into the libation fund for future use.
Is is possible that you may have missed a month or two on your Party Vodka Payments schedule? HMMM??
May we suggest that this priority comes BEFORE the so-called "libation fund"?
Comrades, I am in ever-increasing awe of our Big Sister, who is ready at a moment's notice to perform whatever body cavity search may be required for the safety of the USSA!!
R.O.C.K. in the USSAComrades, I am in ever-increasing awe of our Big Sister, who is ready at a moment's notice to perform whatever body cavity search may be required for the safety of the USSA!!
I do believe Big Sis's biggest desire is for
"Hey, pretty lady, what's the big rush...?"