In a bold and strikingly unconventional move, presidential advisor David Axelrod announced today that for Presidential Debate #2 the well-known Presidential Chair will step in for the actual president, B. Hussein Obama.

"Let's face it," Axelrod told the press at a briefing today, "In a presidential campaign sometimes you have to make hard decisions, and I've made one that the president fully supports. Odds are that the Chair will do a better job debating than Barack is capable of, particularly since it actually has more management experience than the president does."

Axelrod went on to explain that the chair was purchased second hand from a Fortune 500 company's CEO, and was frequently sat upon by the CEO and his visiting fellow corporation leaders.

"We may even use the Chair to pinch hit for Biden," Axelrod stated for the record. "Ryan may have that stupid math thing going on, but who knows how many company controllers and CFOs have sat in this chair over the years? He can't compete with that kind of financial knowledge."

Komrade Axelrod is no man's fool. We are all fortunate to have someone with such beguiling talent to help correctly speak for not only the people but also for our dear leader as well. I smell victory!

Fhalkyn wrote:

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I, for one, am looking forward to Ryan demolishing Biden's infantile intellect.

I am shocked at the potential for such epic inequality to be on display when comrade Biden faces his enemy, capitalist pig Ryan. Comrade Biden should never have agreed to such an unfair arrangement without having Ryan severely dealt with by our SEIU arm of the party first or at least forcing our glorious state run medical care upon Ryan to remove the part of his brain which he misuses to think incorrectly.

Comrade ROCK,

Knowing Darth Axelrod personally as I do -- we played golf in Hell with satan during the DNC convention -- he mentioned something about Dark Lord Soros having this chair with magical powers that he kept around for a back up in case O'bumo blew it.

(Let's hope the chair isn't as narcissistic as you know who)

Copied from Pajama Media comments:

FeralCat

Obama on the phone right now begging Bibi to attack Iran.

This makes a good Laika headline.

Axlerod now saying that he doesn't really know this Obama fellow, that he's just some guy he vaguely remembers from the neighborhood.

Look! Glorious Deputy Leader demonstrates how Superior Socialist Math is NINE TIMES better than decadent math of Kapitalist bourgeois lackey Paul Ryan! NINE (12) TIMES! All Hail Glorious Deputy Leader! All Hail Superior Socialist Math!

In other breaking news from State Run Media ...

PBS fires Jim Lehrer, Big Bird to moderate debate.

John Kerry replaced by Jimmy Carter to be The Chairs ™ debate couch.

Reich Wing Homophobe restaurant franchise Chick-fil-A announces Big Bird is now added on the menu.

Round One