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Cook County to Tax Words Starting with the Letter "G"

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In a startingly bold and refreshingly progressive move FORWARD!™ today, officials in Illinois' Cook County announced that, due to the ridiculous prevalance of gun-caused violence, all words beginning with the letter "G" will now be taxed at 10%.

"We've all had enough of this violence caused by guns, and the costs are through the roof!," stated Cook County Board President Toni Preckwinkle. "We were just going to tax bullets, but it's simply not enough - somebody's got to pay for the healthcare expenses associated with the high rate of gun violence."

Ms Preckwinkle was foaming a bit at the mouth as she pantomimed somebody from "the 'hood" repeatedly shooting somebody else from "the 'hood" - BANG! BANG! BANG!

Chicago City Godfather Rahm Emanuel was in agreement with the new tax, saying that "If I had my way we'd be taxing all words starting with the letter "g" for gun, "f" for firearm, "h" for handgun, and "r" for rifle - and that's just to start."

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In a follow up story, Emmanuel reversed his position upon viewing new figures that show the impact of this tax on his weekly Gefilte fish budget. "Whew! And to think, I was going to have the tax compound for every instance of one of those letters. You see how many "G's", "F's" and "H's" there are? My wife would kill me!" - R. Emmanuel.

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Much like with Obamacare, there are always exemptions...


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Image Comrade ROCK,

This is a real pisser. Prickwinkle relented with the ".05¢ @ bullet tax, realizing a very small glimmer of fleeting common sense. However, the assholes-that-be are still contemplating a "gun tax" — whatever the HELL that is. And they want to lay the burden of responsibility of criminal activity at the feet of the law-abiding cititizens to have to suffer. Prickwinkle is a moron of biblical proportions. She's a reprobate's reprobate. And the other ignorant primates occupying space they aren't worthy of, will go along with this insanity instead of pushing to hire more cops and punish the gangbangers.

Prickwinkle is the sort that believes guns have a mind of their own that by their own free will they go around and shoot people, and by banning them and taking them away, so goes crime and shootings. She's of the same astral plane as O'boingo in where O'boingo actually believes he shot bin Laden and ended terrorism completely, she believes punishing the law-abiding will rid us of the criminals.

Not surprising is Tiny Dancer™ known as Rahm Emanuelle (that's what he's know as here in Chitcago) agreeing with this claptrap nonsense. There should be an 'idiot tax' for libtards who concoct this insanity, and for every gangbanger shooting, a politician should lose their job.

I think they should tax every word that begins with "M", which would be MORON. And there's LOTS of 'em here in Chitcago. Say goodbye Mr. Deficit if that ever happened.

Image Oh, YES! What a brilliant idea! Tax everything that walks and breathes! Take away the guns and you take away the crime!

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This is certainly a Progressive tax we should all support because the monies collected will be given to Community Organizers.

I'm sure the poor downtrodden inner-city gangbangers recurrently associating individuals who happen to purchase a gun for $20 will welcome a mere $25 tax wealth redistribution if it means their victims neighbors are dissuaded from purchasing a gun too. After all, it means they can't shoot back makes it safer For The Children™ not to have those evil guns around.

Image Don't for a minute think these morons believe doing this kind of thing makes any difference in crime, it's just a power/money grab and a feelgood sop to the proles. "Look how much safer you are now that criminals are the only ones who have guns!"

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Well, if they really want to raise revenue they should require a permit for the activity in addition to the tax ... just like for a parade or a lemonade stand....
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