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Cow Tipping vs Smart Car Tipping: the science is now settled

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I researched the phenomena of cow tipping and found absolutely no evidence of it anywhere, even in areas inhabited by right-leaning, meat-eating animal-haters (whom one would naturally suspect of hating animals because they eat them). This article confirms my research:

Cow Tipping: Fake or Really Fake?

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On the other hand, I found empirical evidence in the tipping of so-called "Smart Cars" in San Francisco, with the array of Smart Car tipsters for your enjoyment:

More Smart Cars Tipped in Overnight Pranks in San Francisco's Twin Peaks, Cole Valley


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You decide on the science in the two links. I know you will make the right choice for the good of the kollektive.

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This has been happening in Detroit as well. Apparently street art symbolism meant to represent local mortgages since the decline in property values, which is Bush's (either, take your pick) fault. We need more bailout money here, to pay for The People's™ homes, and get them back into Cadillacs ... as it should be.

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Why would anyone tip a smart car or a cow? And what would you tip them? This is silly. You only tip the help.


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You know, Margaret, you bring up a very good point here, even though it makes me very uncomfortable to contemplate yet another meaning for the word "tip." It makes my brain hurt because I am afraid I'll be guilty of a "thought crime."

The reason for this confusion is that you are suggesting that someone or something be rewarded for doing anything for me, since I, as a Made Prog™, feel that we should be given stuff just because we exist.

After all, anyone who does anything for us, even if we do nothing, should feel glad that they could help. Us Made Progs™ are "all in" for rewards for doing NOTHING. Get my grift?

Ha! I knew you could.

Anyer Marx. Your symbolism is spot on! As it is in all aspects of current happenings. Thank you.

And, Captain Craptek, what a wonderful display showing the inanity of all of this.


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I, for one, would not be caught dead (if you pardon the assumption) in one of these deathtraps on the expressway, freeway or otherwise, competing with 18-wheelers or the wind itself. Those who buy these "cars" pay muchly so they can display their "moral superiority." Rots a Ruck Suckers! Enough room to stow your Starbucks Half-Caf Latté? Nah, didn't think so.

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Margaret... don't get too chummy with my boyfriend or Craptek!
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(He he he!)
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Comrade Pamalinsky, you might as well ask why people climb Mount Everest and decide to stay there as Birdseye TV Dinners, or why the Department of Agriculture needs automatic weapons, or how the village idiot can attain the Presidency of the sixth most powerful nation on earth and then be re-elected.

You might get answers, but making them public will only hurt everyone.

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"...no, really, just the tip....". Works every time for cattle

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"The tipping prank is fairly common because the roughly 1,600-pound cars are more easily tipped onto their sides, roofs or ends than other vehicles."

This is car normative and discriminatory - all size cars should be tipped equally! Lawyers are already readying class action cases on behalf of large cars who wish to be tipped. Lawsuits will soon be available to be settled out of court for large amounts of $$$$. The only question is WHO will pay? The answer: the taxpayers, of course, because discrimination in car tipping is society's fault.

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Pamalinsky - congratulations on your first editorial that made it to the Mother Page! As you are well aware, we do not use exclamation marks liberally here, but this one is well deserved.

Your groundbreaking research has resulted in a merger of the formerly known Agriculture Directorate with the Transportation Directorate into one new entity called the Department of Transportational Agriculture. You candidacy as the Department's Commissar is being discussed at the highest levels.

If confirmed, your very first responsibility in the new office will be to hire about 5,000 new unionized government employees to fill the new Department, for which job you are allowed to hire additional 1,000 unionized government employees to conduct the interviews, plus 2,000 interview administrators and about as many administrative assistants to assist them in their administrating.

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But then again, has anybody tried to tip a smart cow?

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Congrats pamalinsky! A new department! I hope ™ that you are chosen as commissar. I will send out memos to the Comrades in my department, and see if we can arrange for some black vans to be sent out to bolster popular support For your candidacy. GOOD LUCK!Image

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Cow Tipping vs Smart Car Tipping: the science is now settled.... Or is it???

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Wow! I am so astonished by the array of praise and congratulations displayed here.

I never received these replies in my in-basket. How can that be? Never did though. So sorry to be late in responding. I found this by responding to another Comrade, Photoshopova, re: Pangea.

I am so honored to be featured on the Mother Page. You have no idea. I have never felt worthy of this. Still don't but, seeing that wink from Putin could change my view.

And, to have Comrade Red Square address me in this way is quite an honor, I am speechless, please forgive me. I really don't know what to say right now, except for thanks, Comrade Red Square, for kicking it into the pocket. I saw what you did there. This makes me very happy.

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Red Square wrote:Pamalinsky - congratulations on your first editorial that made it to the Mother Page! As you are well aware, we do not use exclamation marks liberally here, but this one is well deserved.
I just realized you are referring to an email I sent you a couple of years ago, when I told you I was eliminating exclamation points in my writing because I felt I was over-doing it, thereby diminishing it's value. Depriving myself of this indulgence greatly changed my writing and I could actually see this and told you about it. I am quite touched that you remember that.

PS: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Tovarichi wrote:"...no, really, just the tip....". Works every time for cattle
Oh, Tovi! You have such a way with words. So romantic. So badass. So funny.

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Cow "tipping"...I'm still laughing at that one...

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Dearest Comrade-Sister Pamalinsky,

Apparently, whomever did this excellent research and the required calculations, has never encountered a "rotary dairy parlour automated milking machine", or "rotolactor" (because that sounds so much better)...

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... a carousel-like contraption that cows step on and off of as it rotates, during which on their ride, they are attached to mechanical milking machines

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(from what I have seen, they aren't as fun for the cows as they sound).

Some may scoff as such a potential piece of futuristic technology as to think it science fiction, but they do indeed exist, and cows, apparently, do tip over in them, among other mechanical mishaps. But perhaps they are not relevant to the traditional pass time of cow tipping as they introduce such physical forces as might not be within the abilities of drunken teenage small town football players. And I believe cows may have begun to gang up for protection in any case...

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... an object lesson for drunken teenage boys everywhere.

Really, though, it's too bad the cows can't have any fun.
xo
Sis

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HOLY COW, SISTA MASS! So good to hear from you! Daayum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for your input regarding this most distressing issue. I was not aware of these carousel things. Terrible. I love cows. They have every right to rebel and gang up on these drunken teenage boys! Thing is, I don't know if they can when trapped in the rotary.

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A perfect metaphor for how some of us feel living in the US. (Sigh)

xo right back atcha
Sister Pammie


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Dearest Comrade-Sister Pammie,

Yes. It has been far too long and entirely my fault. Our Glorious Incarnadine Trapezoid ordered me to spank myself and film it for my intransigence, and for some reason send the footage to Masterpiece Theatre. All very confusing.

In any case, I had no idea that rotary dairy parlours existed until very recently either. Last week there was a big muddle after an animal rights group in Kandistan managed to film the night shift on the country's largest dairy farm, and employing mostly unskilled young men on their night shift, horribly abusing the stock. There was such an uproar that the British Columbia Dairy Board (a body designed to make it easy for farmers to sell their product to one government agency who sets prices and handles everything for them... isn't that nice of the government?), ordered all the farm's milk stocks destroyed and both commercial buyers and ultimately the public, refused to buy any products made with their milk. It was an awfully big kerfuffle, but seems to have been set straight and the brutish abusers fired and pilloried in the public court. I'm sure someone will kill them shortly, as it should be. Apparently, the farm had a rotary milking parlour and the cows were often allowed to tip while getting on and off, and left to get squeezed between the gating and the rails as it continued to rotate, as well as doing all manner of violently unmentionable things to the stock. I'm not a crazed animal activist (well, maybe slightly crazed), but it has always seemed to me that there are certain types of behaviour toward animals that deserve an eye-for-an-eye approach, they are so beyond the pale. It takes a particular type of sociopath to torture animals.

Please excuse my overly-long absence. Things have been somewhat unsettled, as usual. I'm hoping that they'll be a bit more relaxed for a while. Hope all's well with you.

xo
Sis

Comrade Tovarichi,

I do enjoy a good steak as much as the next person, but have you ever tried to eat a dairy cow? There is a reason they raise dairy and meat stock differently. Dairy cows, while not tasting bad, are terribly tough and not really made for eatin'... no matter how much steak sauce you ruin the flavour of a piece of beef with. I know this because of a rather funny incident from my childhood, during which a couple family friends decided to split a cow, so to speak... that is, to go to a farm just outside Vancouver, where they bought and butchered a cow to save money and then split the meat and filled up their freezers between them. One of them kept the cow hide. They told my grandfather the story, and he asked them how the meat was. They said it tasted fine, but that it was awfully tough and then showed him the hide, after which he burst out laughing. They'd been sold a dairy cow which presumably was no longer producing well, which was why it was so tough. I guess the lesson is that it's good to save money but you should educate yourself a little first.

Moo!
Sis

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Sista Mass said: "I'm not a crazed animal activist (well, maybe slightly crazed), but it has always seemed to me that there are certain types of behaviour toward animals that deserve an eye-for-an-eye approach, they are so beyond the pale. It takes a particular type of sociopath to torture animals. - See more at: https://thepeoplescube.com/post179172.html#p179172"

Yeah, I've seen videos of these monsters enjoying the slaughter of these poor terrified animals. They not only enjoy the slaughter, they get off on the terror the animals display. I couldn't bear to watch your link.

I recall a story about a vet who was raising a female service-dog puppy, a Golden Retriever, I believe. He loved this dog. Outside his house he heard a shot and a yelp and found his puppy dead. He went out, saw them and proceeded to pursue them. He had a gun. Didn't use it. He used great restraint. They were arrested. So much for the idea that gun owners are crazed killers. These guys were doing it for "fun."

I don't know if I would have that same restraint.

I hate that those impulses invade my conscience. I don't want to hurt anyone or anything. But, I will defend myself and my family. That includes myself, my spouse, my children, and my pets.

A puppy for a puppy! (an eye for an eye)
How's about a monster for a puppy? Does that work?
Seems to me it should.

PS: You never have to apologize for delays for anything. XO

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Tovarichi wrote:Image
I love cows too.
Wow, Tovi! You shop at Costco, too? We have so much in common.I love A-1 Sauce. Tasty. But by the gallon? Hmmm. Good idea. I always run out.

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Lev Termen wrote:Comrade Pamalinsky, you might as well ask why people climb Mount Everest and decide to stay there as Birdseye TV Dinners, or why the Department of Agriculture needs automatic weapons, or how the village idiot can attain the Presidency of the sixth most powerful nation on earth and then be re-elected.

You might get answers, but making them public will only hurt everyone.
I hear you! Here is my answer: [img]styles/pc/imageset/heart.png[/img]



 
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