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Finally, Comrades, we have the right to be stupid!

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[img]/images/Kerry_fool_Hat.jpg[/img]

I've been waiting for this all my life!

Progressives excel at Berlin messaging! I dunno why, they just do, even in spite of actual presidents who get things done.

First, we had JFK, who proclaimed: "Ich bin ein Berliner!" (not an actual Berliner)

Next, we had Reagan, who said: "Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" (the wall was actually torn down).

Now, we have our new Secretary of State, John Kerry, on his first foray into a Berlin coffee shop, saying most profoundly: "We have the right to be stupid here in the US We depend on this for our re-election!" (actually proven by the last election).

Is this not progress, Comrades?

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.... and all the Obama supporters in the US said, "Amen!"

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Being stupid is neither a right nor an entitlement. It is as mandatory as breathing, eating, and weeding beet-fields. Just do it.

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Yeah, back in the day I admonished a good friend about Hollywood scripts of which she was a writer. When a babe got some flowers, she always, without fail, said, "They're sooo beautiful!" , as if she was hypnotized into a catatonic state by being given flowers.

I took exception to this, saying it was so "cliché. After noticing this, I don't blame guys for thinking giving flowers is a waste of time. '

Also, given this theme, I recently saw a view of the movie "Ghost." In it the lead guy said "If I say I love you too many times it won't mean anything."

What a crock! If you love somebody, you can say "I love you" as many times as you want. The number of times is not diluted by repetition. (Unless you don't mean it in the first place.)

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[img]/images/Kerry_fool_Hat_Stupid_Right.jpg[/img]

"Americans have the inalienable right to be stupid. We depend on this for our re-election!"


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I am always grateful for your support, dearest Red Square, and all you other darlings who chose to respond to this post. My love for you is eternal!

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I'm totally confused. Why would I want the right to be a Republican? Because that's what being stupid is, you know. It means being Republican.

It's like saying I have the right to be evil. Or greedy. Or selfish. Or intolerant. Or mean-spirited. Or the right to care about no one but myself and what I want and all I want and that I'll stomp all over the downtrodden (which is why they're called that), including my own mother, to get it. But I don't want any of those rights!

I just want the right to free stuff. Is that so much to ask?


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Dearest Pinkie,

You know me all too well! You know fully that I am the most befuddled, bamboozled, YouTube-addicted, gobsmacked babe on the face of the planet! This alone should tell you what I am up against in trying to deal with reality.

I thank you for your compassion, Pinkie. Really, I do.

I have made progress in not posting videos as my first post. I think that's an improvement. I may do so again as long as I have much to say about said first post video. So far, I ain't doing it. Don't wanna, not gonna do it.

Happy now, my dear Commissarrka? I think your advice is good, especially after seeing the responses to this new post of mine, which, in some ways, was an afterthought. I could do so much better by not being so emotional. Do love you Pinkie.

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Our Minister of Foreign Affairs is starting out with Bunny Slope Diplomacy before he moves on to Smart Diplomacy™.

kerry.jpg

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I'm traveling and on my laptop which doesn't have Adobe Photoshop on it. Dratz! I would put together such a non-person in a Jester's hat. Then I would caption it.

Ich bin ein dummkopf!


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You know, Rikalonius, I think Dig4Utopia has done his best to fulfill your Photoshop dreams.

In addition, I think you could do a good business in t-shirts! As long as you don't actually make an evil profit.

Yeah! I can see it now! "Ich bin ein Dummkopf!"

All of us would be proud to wear it!

Viel Glück! Oh yeah, and don't forget to capitalize the "D" in Dummkopf! Very important subliminal message! It's just that Germans love to capitalize Nouns. (if you'll forgive the abhorrent allusion to capitalism.)


Edited: Twice! For even more absurdity inspired by my Comrades!


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Dammit Tovi!

It's already selling!

Question is: Can we corner the market on this absolute drivel?

The only way out of this morass is devastating t-shirt designs. Yeah! That's the way I see it. That's the ticket!

Let the t-shirt wars begin!


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Ha! Nice mis-direct manoeuvre, Comrade Putout!Well played!

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Dearest Comrade Sister Pamalinsky,

Thank you so much for your work on behalf of myself and my fellow willfully stupid... I was going to write 'humans', but that would exclude me. The warmth and friendship you have consistently bestowed upon me, in spite of my self-induced brain damage has increased my sense of self-worth by at least... a lot. I can now give up reading altogether, instead of forcing myself to wolf down massive amounts of various forms of literature in order to appear moderately informed and intelligent and just give in to my wish to sit around watching the OWN channel, and E! (although or Glorious Leader sent me something to read this afternoon and I think I should probably make an effort to read and understand it, out of fear respect... and to fit in and appear kewl). But as soon as I've finished, I'm going to tear into that unopened mega-box of Costco microwave popcorn that someone gave me, not knowing that I really shouldn't eat popcorn because of one of the autoimmune conditions I have, and when I end up in the hospital with a perforated bowel and they ask me why I ate 124 bags of microwave popcorn, I can just pretend I had no idea I shouldn't, if I survive mixing a bunch of medications I'm not supposed to. Also, can anybody suggest an ill-conceived tattoo I could get? I was thinking about getting "Poor Impulse Control" on my forehead, but that might be considered to intelligently ironic.

lifefordummies.gif
The only book I'm ever going to have to ever ever read again... ever!

I feel so free! Thank you my sister! I'm so happy, I feel like going out for a little drive just to celebrate, blaring loud popular music with idiotic and incomprehensible lyrics, down the wrong side of the freeway. And now I have an excuse. Eeee! I've always wanted to do that! But first, how long does microwave popcorn take to... do whatever it does in that magic box?

Sis

p.s. Should I die as a result of my new-found freedom to be as willfully stupid as I want, I'd like my headstone to read, "She died at the ripe old age of 48, in spite of doing really dumb things that endangered her own life, but thankfully failed to pass on her genes to any progeny"... unless that sounds too smart... Also, since I plan to be cremated, or alternately, have my body thrown into a jet engine with a canvass mounted behind it (cuz then I'd live on as a piece of art... also the idea of having my ashes mixed into the ink they use to print money has always intrigued me, because then I'd be everywhere!), I might not need a headstone.


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Hey Sista Massy Girl!

Good to see you!

You know that part you mentioned about increasing your self-worth because of something I said? Damn! Right back atcha, Baby! You are so too kind.

I understand the popcorn thing. Really, I do. I mean, what is one to do about what is happening? Answer: Eat popcorn and just watch. The nasty, selfish Rethugs force us to do this. It's all on them! (BTW there is a hull-less popcorn that will not put holes in your digestive system. Google it. And add butter!)

My recommendation for an ill-conceived tattoo? Hmmm. Let me see……

Sometimes, in my encounters with bulllshitters I reply with language like, "Do I look like I have "STUPID" written on my forehead? Huh? Is that what you're saying? Are you kidding me?

I don't recommend any tattoo on your forehead. Please, don't do it! At the very least, you will be giving away your propensities. Always keep 'em guessing. Know what I mean?Also, Comrade Tovarich tells me you are quite attractive!

Regarding cremation: I concur. And, I like the idea of fusing my ashes with the ink to print money. However, I know this will never happen. My net worth is nothing to the FEDs. That's just the way it is.

Life for Real Dummies! Is that yours?

Impressive!

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Pamalinsky wrote:(BTW there is a hull-less popcorn that will not put holes in your digestive system. Google it. And add butter!)

GASP! IS IT GM?! Some Monsantofied Zombie tried to feed me golden rice the other day. So I stabbed him in the eye with a chop-stick.

My recommendation for an ill-conceived tattoo? Hmmm. Let me see……
I misspoke... mis-typed?... In the new "Free-To-Be-Stupid" world, there would be no 'ill-conceived' tattoos...

Always keep 'em guessing. Know what I mean? Also, Comrade Tovarich tells me you are quite attractive!
Yes... that's why I had my nose pierced a couple years ago. I'd had to fore-go my yearly piercing for a couple years after my last hospitalization as a result of all the immunosuppressant meds I was on, but I went off them for three months so I could get a tetanus/polio shot (no point getting vaccinations if your immune system won't mount a defense) and I took the opportunity to put another hole in my head. I'm up to 18, but I fear any new tats are still a bit too much of a risk. A dolphin can dream though.

Life for Real Dummies! Is that yours?
I stole it from someone dumber than me, so I guess it's mine now... Sucka!

Impressive!
Not really... he was drunk and passed out on a heating grate...

Image Re: the whole piercings and tats thing... you really can't judge a book. I'm sure if I limped past most devoted Cube members, they'd mistake me for some rabid feminazi with a collection of Black Bloc gear and a library of their organizational reading material... I'd be Anonymous... and they'd cluck their tongues at my apparent left-leanings, not realizing it's because my left leg is effectively shorter than my right now, because of the way my back's broken... heheheh... Some days I do lean right, but usually cause my left hip is really bothering me... like today. Tomorrow it might be the other one. That's the joy of being a handicapable heterodox dolphin. Besides. People who assume I'm a bat-sh*t crazy left-wing nut bag just like them because of the way I look, tell me the darnedest things. Insinuate... Infiltrate... Destroy... Can't remember who taught me that... Ich Bin Ein Auslander!

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Know what, Sista Massy Girl?

If you want the entire Communist Manifesto tattooed all over your body, I say, "Go for it!"

Self-expression is very important. Screw what anyone else thinks! (Most don't think anyway.) Now that you've got me going on this, why not punctuate every sentence with a piercing! Studs for periods, rings for commas! Sounds reasonable to me.

You Go Girl!

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Just remember to stay clear of high voltage transmission lines...

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I.M. Craptek wrote:Just remember to stay clear of high voltage transmission lines...
Ha! Good point, Crap!

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Thank you so much for your unconditional support of my dedication to non-mainstream body-modification. Once again, in spite of my self-induced brain damage, it has increased my sense of self-worth at least... a lot more... not to mention my sense of entitlement in direct proportion. My SQ (Stupidity Quotient) is now so high I think I qualify for Idiot Savant status. But Alas, your approval... nay, your exhortation is for naught. I still cannot get fresh ink, and although I freely and enthusiastically put holes in my head, with the exception of one other body feature for which I have no use except perhaps to collect the occasional piece of lint, I decided early on that it would be a good idea not to pierce anything I had a really important use for. One day, though, I will have a graphic representation of my beloved home and Peoples Cube inked onto my
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Dearest Sista M, I concur with your idea of blending with the monetary ink because I know this will reduce my carbon footprint, knowing, full well, that money will be worth nothing. Very soon. I feel very good about myself for doing this and, feeling good about oneself is what counts!

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[img]images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]OK, time for a little German lesson.Germans don't say they are "a" or "an" anything. It's not that they don't like definite or indefinite articles, they just don't use them to describe what someone is.So, ,,Ich bin Berliner", not ,,Ich bin ein Berliner". ,,Ich bin Dummkopf". ,,Ich bin Sozialarbeiterin" (I am a social worker of the female persuasion). JFK did say ,,ich bin ein Berliner", but they sorta liked him and didn't get too bugged about it.

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Hey, Nookie! Thanks so much for that lesson. Really, not being sarcastic. Is my face red! Ya always learn something new on The Cube™, nyet?

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Hardly Sister Pamalinsky,

Red suits you, as it does us all. We must never forget that. I'll inform Pop Will Eat Itself that the title to their famous S.H.A.R.P. (Skinheads Against Racial Prejudice) anthem is grammatically incorrekt... Waddya want?... they're British. And the whole "Ich bin ein... whatever..." thing has become so culturally ingrained it's Germain 'eubonics' at this point.

Thank you Princess Nookie, for your tireless work in pointing out our abject failings to be culturally sensitive. I often feel similarly when humans start whistling at me and the rest of the pod, thinking they're actually saying something instead of making what amounts to child-like farting noises. Arbeit Macht Frei!

Shovels Ready, Comrades!
Sis

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I know this might seem inane, as I am wont to do, but, way back in the 80's, a friend of mine and I were having some fun making up names of bands. The more absurd, the better.

We were at a standstill until a cursory glance at a current issue of "Today," the local LATimes Sunday paper magazine, revealed a pic of General Dwight Eisenhower.

Immediately, my friend, Dave, a Brit, suggested "Eisenhower and the Babbling Skinheads."

We fell into breathless laughter!

Just sharing. ; • )

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And I shall share back... A human friend once told me that the best way for Amerikkkan male porn actors pick out their 'professional names' was to take the name of their middle school and add the name of their favourite soft-drink to the end... Apparently, quite a few male porn actors enjoy drinking Squirt.

Frankly, I am baffled by all of it, and most human endeavors just leave me absolutely confused... except the occasional pelleting of someone with Polonium 210. I've gotten quite skilled at it. But only after our Glorious Peoples' Direktor explained the need for it to me, and promised me a great deal of herring. The motivations for so many human actions are simply beyond my ken, especially considering so many have nothing to do with fish, or fighting giant squid... although I applaud your seeming endless fascination with sharks. Sharks BAD! Fish GOOD!

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Sista,

My avatar itself suggests bafflement, befuddled, bamboozled, but knowing.

Yet, I am also baffled by all of human behavior. If I wanted to choose a name based on my middle school name plus my favorite soft drink, it would be: Crozier Dr. Pepper. Now, if some dude gets off on this, then I am in the wrong business!

I could make a fortune! Speaking of sharks. Someone once asked me if I would take a shark as a possible husband. I asked him, "What about me makes you think I would ever do that?"

He had no answer. He was just trying to take advantage of my vulnerability at the time. A true asshole!

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I don't know if it applies to female humans, but I've moved so much mine would be over ten names long, end in root beer and have several "Sirs" in it since I live in a commonwealth country. When it come to female porn names, I think food sometimes applies. At least, it seemed to do for Chicken Sushi (she of the pod)... Meowsevich found her irresistible and we are now having to raise his cross-species off-spring. It was completely accidental that she chose that human name... People seemed to like chicken. Everything that wasn't chicken was supposed to taste like chicken... and she liked Sushi... as do we all. And we spend a great deal of our time not on Housekeeping matters, focused on eating and playing with bits of sea-weed and the occasional buoy. When we escaped our naval enclosure during Katrina, we had only been assigned numbers, and little experience with everyday human rules. You can see why some of us ended up with seemingly strange names. It's just dumb plain luck that Aki isn't named Humboldt Squid... now there's a good porn name!

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Other possible porn names: How's about "Pamela Canal" or "Pam An" (after the defunct airline)?

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Pamalinsky wrote:I am also baffled by all of human behavior. If I wanted to choose a name based on my middle school name plus my favorite soft drink, it would be: Crozier Dr. Pepper. Now, if some dude gets off on this, then I am in the wrong business!

I just had to Google 'Crozier Dr. Pepper' didn't I...


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Now that's kind of a loaded question... and if there's a pun in there somewhere, it'll go right over my cetacean head.


 
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