Comrades,

The People's Navy has announced the immediate distribution to all state run stores a camouflaged flotation device in rapid response to Romney's Vice Presidential choice for a running mate. Paul Ryan's notorious plan to save Medicare claims it will achieve this by reforming the system to be actually able to meet all of its financial obligations in the future. But, in fact, Paul Ryan has deviously decided that he's going to personally do this by COVERTLY ELIMINATING THE CURRENT BENEFICIARIES, so spending will be reduced now.


In a bold counter response to his murderous plot to kill every granny he can wrap his arms around by throwing them off a cliff and into the ocean, the People's Navy is now providing party-approved, easily worn camouflaged flotation devices that fit around your granny's neck for ease and comfort.

The camouflaged flotation devices are designed to be worn 24 hours a day for complete protection in the event that Ryan tries to sneak in at night to do his dirty work. After receiving your flotation device gently wrap the device around the granny's neck to allow the flotation bags to droop to the appropriate level on her chest and then blow air inside the fake nipples to inflate.

Biden has put Obama in chains.

Comrade Snoogie, as always it's good to know that you're constantly on watch to keep our oceans, lakes, rivers, and endangered wetlands like the one in my backyard safe!

Is it true that the People's Navy is also working on a similar device for elderly men?

Once again proof of public benefit from military innovation.

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:Is it true that the People's Navy is also working on a similar device for elderly men?

Such an inflatable device has already been developed. People's experts are now in the finishing stage of establishing the proper color scheme and ornamentation.