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How The People's Cube Owns Wokeness Like a True Boss

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Diverse members of the Cube kollektive! Everybody knows that it is now the ”in” thing to be woke. Being woke is being korrekt, and being korrekt is being woke. Wokeness has certain markers, and I have carefully taken a long time looking at all of the evidence, and have thus determined that all evidence points to the fact that we at the People's Cube are not just woke - we're still woke, and have always been woke. We were woke before everyone else was woke. We are the forefront pioneers of wokeness.

The evidence is undeniable:

Attention to current events. Our search for the most current truth never stops. Thus, before Chicago declared Obama's birthday to be a holiday, we've been drinking beet vodka and throwing cool parties at Tractor Barn #2 on this day since 2008. Take that, newly woke people!!

Representation. No one represents more minority groups than we do - including dead historical personages, singular brains and other body parts, all sorts of mammals, inanimate objects, and household appliances, especially toasters, which one of us has married. For good measure of an example: I myself am the People's State-approved minority furry trash <3. Enough said.

Mindless obedience. One can't be called woke without a blind and unconditional acceptance of the word and the divine authority of the Party, the State, and the Media. Our members never tire of korrekting each other's thinking and denouncing the guilty of wrongthink.

Leaders of tomorrow. We at the People's Cube have developed the concept of The Glorious World of Next Tuesday™. While everyone focuses on the here and now, our focus is on the future, which makes us the pioneers of wokeness. While others follow, we seize the front and tell you what to think. We tell you who's on the korrekt side of history and who is not - because we've seen the future and ran away. It's therefore not a coincidence that society, and life always imitates/emulates The People's Cube. Always.

Have you Cubists found more evidence? Kindly submit it into the replies below.

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The People's Anthony Sullivan wrote:Ok, every Cubist, we all know that it is now the “in” thing to become “woke”. According to korrekt sources around us, being “woke” is very korrekt. But one thing that is not very well known in this universe, (and to be fair, [highlight=#ffff00]I took a long time to examine the evidence, and thus draw a conclusion[/highlight]) is that we the Cube are not just woke, but were, and always are, still woke - yes, we the Cube were woke before everyone else became woke. In fact, you can say that we are the forefront pioneers of woke-ness.
Dear me, I thought heard somewhere that it was unauthorized to examine evidence before drawing conclusions. But no matter. Whatever advances the Cause is woke and thus korrekt. Or korrekt and thus woke. Or whatever.

As our new Comrade Ocasio-Cortez has said, we must not get hung up on being "factually correct" when it interferes with being morally right. (By which, we assume, she means morally left.)


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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:The important thing is that I care.

AGREED!

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My Our Entire Beet Collective has voted - UNANIMOUSLY! - to endorse this Glorious Heroic Peoples' Movement! We Affirm That We are ALL WOKE!

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Commissarka Pinkie wrote:The important thing is that I care.
I care so much it hurts and makes my eyes water.

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Commisarka Pinkie cares, so I don't have to.

It's just like when Dear Leader (PBUH) His O'LINESS would think, and tell us the science is settled...

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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:Commisarka Pinkie cares, so I don't have to.

It's just like when Dear Leader (PBUH) His O'LINESS would think, and tell us the science is settled...
Dear Leader O promoted "kollektive salvation" - which means our entire beet kollektive was good as long as the caring could be redistributed equally.

The way it works is that the sum of all caring, divided by the number of members, should produce an average figure sufficient enough to meet the State Standard Quota for Caring and Compassion in IRS Form #187765-13RX.

I believe the amount of caring emanating from Commissarka Pinkie on a daily basis should be enough to provide proper salvation for two or three medium-sized beet kollektives.

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Just remember comrades, caring means sharing...other people's money.

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Comrade Whoopie wrote:Just remember comrades, caring means sharing...other people's money.
Ding, ding, ding! Ca-ching, ca-ching, ca-ching! In other words...CATCHING other peoples money. (Progs have an issue with proper spelling. In their world, if it sounds good, it's spelled right, even if no spelling is involved.) The key is to yell the loudest! Yeah, that's the ticket!

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The wise man while sleeping dreamed he was awake and when he woke up wondered if he was really a sleeping man only dreaming he was woke. I kicked him in the nuts and asked him if thought he was asleep or woke. The wise man said he wished he was asleep.

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$.$. Halliburton wrote:The wise man while sleeping dreamed he was awake and when he woke up wondered if he was really a sleeping man only dreaming he was woke. I kicked him in the nuts and asked him if thought he was asleep or woke. The wise man said he wished he was asleep.

I kicked him in the nuts .... The wise man said he wished he was asleep."

Good thing he was a wise man instead of a wise guy then, ... eh cumpa?

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Sorry about that. The wysiwyg editor does not work in Firefox, I have to put in bbcode manually, and if there's a mistake I can't edit it once it's in.

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P.P. Gogol wrote:Sorry about that. The wysiwyg editor does not work in Firefox, I have to put in bbcode manually, and if there's a mistake I can't edit it once it's in.

Though I'm a firm believer that being woke should hurt, I fixed your woke commie.

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It's great to see so many of our fellow woke comrades on this forum. Can everyone remember the glorious moment you became Cube-woke?

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El Presidente wrote:It's great to see so many of our fellow woke comrades on this forum. Can everyone remember the glorious moment you became Cube-woke?
Why, yes, El Presidente, I'll never forget the first time I became Cube-woke.

It was back in 12/8/09, 4:12 a.m. when some poster on Breitbart (I was slumming) posted the link. I clicked on it and spent the next week laughing so hard I couldn't sleep. I couldn't put my computer down either and found it necessary for my survival to become a fellow Cubist (an art form).

Now I am an addict, but, Cube-woke just the same.

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El Presidente wrote:It's great to see so many of our fellow woke comrades on this forum. Can everyone remember the glorious moment you became Cube-woke?
I remember just as if it were the day before yesterday. In my very first post, I hereby proclaim my wokeness. I am woke! I am woke! Praise the glorious leader, I am woke.

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El Presidente wrote:It's great to see so many of our fellow woke comrades on this forum. Can everyone remember the glorious moment you became Cube-woke?

I was BORN Cube-woke, baby! All I had to do was find out.

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6079SmithW wrote:
El Presidente wrote:It's great to see so many of our fellow woke comrades on this forum. Can everyone remember the glorious moment you became Cube-woke?
I remember just as if it were the day before yesterday. In my very first post, I hereby proclaim my wokeness. I am woke! I am woke! Praise the glorious leader, I am woke.
Welcome! Your wokeness has been noted. The Party will be watching you. Closely. Very closely.

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Comrade Stierlitz wrote:
El Presidente wrote:It's great to see so many of our fellow woke comrades on this forum. Can everyone remember the glorious moment you became Cube-woke?

I was BORN Cube-woke, baby! All I had to do was find out.
Very cool response, Stierlitz, I mean, like, "totally cool." Awesome!

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Jackalopelipsly's wokeness was kind of like Comrade Stierlitz with a healthy dose of $$ Haliburton as a Gunney Sgt. chaser. Wokeness has Jackalopelipsky's FULL attention. No nappin' because the pain of wokeness remains forever...just like in Orwell's dream.

Forelock tug to ALL above,
Jackalopelipsky
# BR 549

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This morning I was so woke that I had to get the People's Plunger to unclog my most Woke toilet.... talk about a glorious Woke Movement!


 
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