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Introducing the 2009 Pacer "Libero" GT-RR

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Introducing the 2009 Pacer "Libero" GT-RR
Every car has a time...the time for the Pacer "Libero" is NOW.


The Pacer "Libero" GT-RR is the first TRULY carbon neutral transportation pod.

Hand Crafted at Bill Ayers Enviro-flop Motors in San Fransisco, CA, the Pacer "Libero" GT-RR is fitted with the finest in simulated, non-aggressive, non animal or chemical based interior and exterior panels. Made of the finest recycled materials. The interior of the Pacer "Libero" GT-RR may smell a little odd but it's the smell of progress!

The door panels and seat cushions are made from 100% carbon-neutral, baked and disinfected human and animal fecal matter, formed into panels and shapes at our state of the art facility. Everything in this transportation pod is sourced from the fair-trade workers paradise in Havana, Cuba! Door handles fashioned from pure, polished driftwood adorn the wonderfully sparse Eco-Cabin portraying the clear message that a car shouldn't be a machine to get you from point A to point B....A car should be a social and political statement!
It is for this reason that Ayers Enviroflop Motors has generously included a rear-window message mount to accommodate that campaign sign or social justice slogan you've been waiting to tell the world! Every amenity has been removed to fit your carbon neutral lifestyle! the Ayers-EnviroFlop Pacer "Libero" GT-RR is the change! you've been waiting for your entire life!


Q&A
I don't think a car can be truly green if it has an engine, can it?
-Paul Pemperton
Bethesda, MD

Hold on there Paul, let us explain.
The Libero's patented 7.5 HP "green fusion" engine assaults your senses and, in a non-threatening way, insults the SUV crowd! The erotic gallop of its 7.5 ponies springing to life as you dutifully carpool to your patented, local, Union-sponsored Climate Change tm blog meet. tm

What is behind all that "green fusion" you ask? A revolutionary, patented system of pulleys. Powered, not just by the smug, self assured notion of a completely carbon nuetral lifestyle... but rather, a heavily shrouded, choked and governed Briggs and Stratton Yard Master overhead cam engine. Power is delivered to the wheels with assistance from the patented Recyclotron pedals on the drivers and passenger floor.

Similar to the pedals on a bigwheel or moped, the Recyclotron pedals convert your bodily energy to rolling inertia and assist in powering the ignition Re-Distributor. That's right, the ignition isn't created by you! Mother Gaia created all things silly! The ignition is simply Re-distributed by you!

The Libero body:
The body panels of the Libero are produced to the most exacting standards and made of 100% recycled, Native American, kiln-fired clay. Fecal-fired ovens bake terracotta of a similar type used to make flower pots. It is formed in a series of molds designed by the worlds most renowned expert on social Justice. The master molds were obtained by Ayers-Enviroflop through the now defunct corporation AMC for 300 dollars This gem can now be re-created in memory of the greatest car and the greatest hero of the 1970s counter-culture revolution. Noam Chompsky and congruently the AMC Pacer!

"Who makes the clay? I'm not buying it unless it is produced by a simple, indigionous, native people, is organic and is fair-trade based! I won't be fooled by some damned corporate, imperialist entity!"
-Zack
Landover, VT

The clay itself is produced from the peaceful and taxpayer subsidized Coyote tribe of Scranton NJ. The frame is molded from a hardened version of this same clay and pickled in a vat of whale urine until hardened and polished by legions of dedicated, community volunteers from the Center for Peace and Changetm.

"Wait, how do they get whale urine"
-Joe,
City Center, MA

A bio-deisel powered mothership loiters in the frigid waters of the Northern Pacific ocean while Tibetan divers manually stroke and prod our sea-going friends. a hose made from recycled SUV tires is drawn down to the divers to collect the urine.
The urine is obtained through an earth-mother, chi meditation process. This process is a catalyst for the mental bonding between man and whale that must take place before the urine can be extracted.

"That sounds dangerous!"
-Rocco LaPore
NYC, NY

To date only 11 volunteers have been killed in this process. This is almost always caused by a miscommunication between the whales and the divers. Whales are not inherently dangerous and want peace every bit as much as you do.

"What fuels the engine besides pure love and my dreams of a granola encrusted utopia of social justice? "
-Janet,
San Fransisco, CA

The Briggs and Stratton Yard Master engine is fueled by 100% denatured Soy extract. A revolution in fuel technology. the fuel is lovingly grown at a Co-op and harvested by the Buffalo Keepers of the Dolphin Alliance for Peace and Justice in Capital Hill Seattle, WA. (BKDAPJCHSWA)

Processing of the soy occurs at the newly government annexed and "re-purposed" Redhook Brewery in downtown Seattle. A perfect location for the process! The soy is stomped into a paste by barefoot homeless men from the surrounding community until it mixes with the natural oils emanating from their unwashed pores.

A chemical reaction takes place and the soy begins to break down (eventually liquefying) into a series of alcohol based chemical compounds. The homeless citizens become intoxicated by the fumes produced from this glorious workers paradise. Writhing and twisting in the 100% naturally produced goo, they become euphoric and productive. They can produce over 100 gallons of Soy based fuel in just 2 hours. The fecal material, vomit and sweat they produce is redistributed to fire the kilns that make the vehicles 100% hypo-allergenic, organic, non-threatening terracotta shell. It is an almost perfectly carbon neutral manufacturing process which produces very little waste.

Testimonials from some of our lucky new Libero GT-RR owners:

Driving the Libero GT-RR is like waking up in the morning to discover that someone performed gender reassignment surgery on you in your sleep. A wonderful feeling indeed!
-John Driscoll
Redmond, WA

Your estrogen will go through the ROOF when you press on the patented "Recyclotron" accelerator pedal! I felt a sense of empowerment like I haven't had since my first child was aborted!
-Chloe
San Fransisco, CA

After driving the Libero for the first time my genitals dwindled away completely, to be replaced by a huge, gaping hole from which nothing - not even light - could escape.
All of my fears about global warming just went spiraling into the dark vortex of my mangina! I am finally FREE! Thank you Ayers-Enviroflop!
-Ken,
Capital hill, WA

I need writers to join me as well at the site I am building: https://www.freshprinceofbillayers.com

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What a tasteless and exploitive little advertisement, Comrade. If I didn't know better I would say you are an agent of the Trotsky-Zinoviev Fascist Center sent here to pollute the minds of impressionable Comrades with dreams of owning such a large and luxurious car -- not to mention the large and luxurious ass on that woman.

Shameful. Exploitive. Bourgeoisie. I denounce you, Comrade. I denounce you.


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I agree with Chairman Punchenko. I looked at the ad for 20 minutes before I realized there was a car in the picture.

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Image Gotta love the Pacer, but don't forget the Kremlin. I swear, this pic just popped up, must have been a consistent advertising theme back in the day when "American Motors" referred to a failing corporation rather than a failed government agency.


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I called Pupovich and told him he needed to check out the chick....

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The Kremlin? Comrade, you've not voiced that ulular consonant in context, for surely we are discussing the Gremlin. My aunt bought a purple one, new, with a little gremlin trapped in transparent plastic on top of the shifter. I was perhaps 6 and knew it was bad, like Michael Jackson bad (but I had to wait for him to go solo over a decade later, by which time I'd forgotten the Gremlin and was thus unable to make the preceding comparison).

Air shocks, wide slicks, tinted windows, blower, chromed door lock posts--chick magnet!


 
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