Image

Jokes about Jimmy Kimmel, Part 1

User avatar
Image
See Part 2 here.

[list]
[*]Jimmy Kimmel cares so much about everyone, that he tip-toes past medicine cabinets so he doesn't wake up any sleeping pills.
[*]How do you keep Jimmy Kimmel busy between tapings? Give him a piece of paper that says "flip” on both sides.
[*]Why does Jimmy Kimmel have to always be reminded to get out of the shower? Because his shampoo bottle says “lather, rinse, repeat.”
[*]Kimmel's handlers also have to be careful about leaving him with orange juice containers: they say “concentrate,” and he winds up staring at them for hours.
[*]Why did the Jimmy Kimmel get so excited about finishing a jigsaw puzzle in six months? Because the box said it was for “2 to 4 years.”
[*]Jimmy Kimmel's secret dream is to be Vanna White. No, it's not an Obama transvestite fantasy: Kimmel wants to actually learn the alphabet.
[*]Speaking of which, Kimmel's other secret fantasy has actually come true: he finally got a boob job - the only job he's truly qualified for.

[attachment=0]Jimmy_Kimmel_Estrogen.jpg[/attachment]
[*]What did Jimmy Kimmel's wife say when she found out she was pregnant? “I wonder if it's mine.”

[attachment=2]Kimmel and boehner.png[/attachment]
[*]When did Jimmy Kimmel almost drown? When he spotted a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
[*]Jimmy Kimmel and his wife walked into a building. Neither of them saw it coming.
[*]How do you confuse Jimmy Kimmel? Put him in a circle and tell him to sit in the corner.
[*]Why did Jimmy Kimmel bring a ladder to his first Hollywood party? Whoever invited him told him all the drinks were on the house.
[*]How do you force Jimmy Kimmel to repeat stupid ideas? You don't have to. He was born that way.
[*]Why did Jimmy Kimmel's wife put lipstick on her forehead? She was desperately trying to make up her mind.
[*]Why can't Jimmy Kimmel ever successfully dial 911? He can't find the eleven.
[*]Why does Jimmy Kimmel always hold his ears? Because he's desperately trying to hold in an original thought.[/list]


Obama laughing close.png


 
POST REPLY