In an unsurprising twist, the new EPA regulations set forth this month set to limit greenhouse gas emissions of the human kind. Human produced methane.

Human flatulence is a significant problem when it comes to climate change second only to breathing, which the EPA promises to address next year.

From now on farts will be prohibited especially in public. Fines will start at $1000 for the first violation and further offenses will result in asset forfeiture and imprisonment in the gulag.

Furthermore, in accordance with the new domestic "See All, Tell All" program, Dear Leader Comrade President Obama will offer rewards to fellow citizens who denounce any suspected fartmongers.

This will be the end of many enjoyable gulag party's, but what is, is what is.

Kommissar Brainiac wrote:Human flatulence is a significant problem when it comes to climate change second only to breathing, which the EPA promises to address next year.

When it comes to reducing CO2 produced as a by-product of breathing, no one can compete with us. Just look at the historical record.

What about instituting a "flare off" policy?

This would seem to be another application for a Smarter-Than-You appliance. Fortunately for some, AlGoresian science can show that the energy to be gained from certain sources of methane far surpasses the energy required to catch, cook and serve lobsters with drawn butter, and that such methane in particular does not qualify as a "greenhouse" emission if combined with the correct mixture of hot air and bovine fecal matter.

How's about "Farts for Fluff?" If you get my drift.

Oh, and I'm not talkin' 'bout laundry.

Comrade, our ancient ancestors implemented a burn off policy millions of years ago. When the evil kapitalists took over the world, they put a stop to it.

The trick is to use a water-filtration system, as being demonstrated here by these loyal citizens:

I've sent in a payloader crew to help you get them out.

Does it matter if their Loud and Obnoxious, or Silent but Deadly?