Comrades, why waste time with middleware like Facebook, Yahoo Messenger, or Gmail, when now you can utilize the power and utility of the NSA's server farms directly?

Yes, that's right - the new Spook-E™ Email & Chat App, developed by the NSA under direct presidential oversight, will give your social media and e-conversations blazing speed like you've never experienced before!

And that's not all - no more worrying about backups, on your phone or on your personal computer. Yes, for no additional cost Spook-E™ keeps a real-time backup of all your files and conversations! And what could be safer than an app straight from the federal government to all your communication and computing devices?

Download Spook-E™ today - it's free at the Google Play Store and the Apple Store, as well as from Microsoft, Yahoo, Facebook, YouTube, and Skype, PLUS all major phone service providers!

Why wait - join the fundamental communications transformation, and get Spook-E™ today!

Downloading my copy now! It is, you know, the Patriot[ic] Act all Soviet Amerikans should do!

How does Spooky Chat differ from Ebonics?

Dedhedvedev wrote:How does Spooky Chat differ from Ebonics?

Spooky's™ patented Vernaculect™ filter processes all entries to both Spooky™ Chat and Spooky™ email and translates all vernacular and/or dialects into American English.

While only the federal government has actual access to the filtered versions of the conversations, Americans can rest assured that their privacy is being protected by the Vernaculect™ filtering, thereby guaranteeing a safe and secure conversation each and every time!

Hugs and curses from the Ministry of Love; every time you press SEND.

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:

Dedhedvedev wrote:How does Spooky Chat differ from Ebonics?

Spooky's™ patented Vernaculect™ filter processes all entries to both Spooky™ Chat and Spooky™ email and translates all vernacular and/or dialects into American English.

Does Obama's teleprompter have a Vernaculect™ filter? Or is it his microphone?

Dedhedvedev wrote:Does Obama's teleprompter have a Vernaculect™ filter? Or is it his microphone?

Comrade, please.

While it IS truly amazing that the masses can handle Dear Leader's glorious complete and unfiltered utterances, you may rest assured that there is no filtering going on in either his teleprompter or his microphone.

Remember, this is the most transparent administration in history.

Your loyal Frau received an Internet 'chat' from Comrade Weiner -- that was as "spooky" as Frau could stand. I am being afraid I must pass on further spookiness.

Well, Comrade Fraulein, you can rest assured that you're not alone - I most definitely won't be 'standing up' for Comrade Weiner!

Ew Ew Ew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This just in - with the release of the 2.0 version, the former Spooky™ Email & Chat app is now called Spook-E™.

Many new features, including 24/7 audio monitoring/recording. Get yours today!

I feel much better that Big Bro is Watchin'

Dear Leader is looking Asian tonight...

Yes. And while tooth whiteners do a delightful job these days, it's still critical to remember the importance of good gum health! I'd suggest better flossing.

Meanwhile, in other news:

I'm sorry, could you repeat that?

Captain Craptek wrote:Dear Leader is looking Asian tonight...

Dear Leader looks suspiciously like he has been hangin' with his Choom Gang.

Comrades, it has come to my attention that PRISM (and its wholly owned commercial subsidiary, SPOOK-E™) do not, I repeat DO NOT spy on, capture emails from, or in any way listen in on anyone other than bonafide and verified terrorists outside the USSA.

In addition, Google, Microsoft, Facebook, Yahoo, and all the other E-giants DO NOT give data to the NSA or any other federal agency, nor does any of their software spy on or listen to private conversations of American citizens in any known medium.

As we all should have known all along, my dear fellow travelers: all this alleged leakage about our government spying upon us is nothing more than reich wing, teabagger propaganda.

Move along, now. Nothing to see here. Move along please, just move along.

It's reassuring to know that I can resume ordering my, er..., supplies through the net.

Comrade Dig, you've done it again and found the glorious heart of the matter. It took me a moment which made discovering the moving eyes even more delightful.

Whoa Nellie - those lucky enough to be using AT&T as their phone carrier - and who have an iPhone - will be receiving Emergency Alerts from our dear President Barackzebub Husseinovich Obama WHICH THEY CAN'T TURN OFF!

As the article says, "so now Barack can track your calls and send you messages too!"For those not on AT&T and/or not sporting a glorious iPhone, not to worry - soon everyone will be forced allowed to use a certified Obamaphone™, which will keep us all in touch with Dear Leader at all times.

Comrade ROCK,

What if some toothless, brainless, nose pickin teabagger uses his phone as a trigger so that any presidential alert sets off a, err,...you know what? Gosh! The perils of modern life!