Comrades!

I must bring this to your attention as RED ROOSTER would be way to modest to shout out his own praises. RED ROOSTER in his continued efforts to be more progressive than he already is, has recently embarked on yet another endeavor to keep himself ahead of the proggie power curb. He has decided to get in touch with his feminine side so he can better relate to feminist issues.


I think he looks pretty darn spiffy in this outfit myself.



And I for one commend his efforts! You RED ROOSTER are really going to lead us all into the Progressive world of next Tuesday!

Our fowl feathered friend looks absolutely festive in his gay pride patterned poultry parka.


But wait, there are other styles available to "suit" any "taste" (as long as it's chicken).

Unless he starts laying eggs, he's still fairly useless to the collective.

Red in his previous job.

I don't know, that rooster's sweater is positively Carteresque...

Now RED ROOSTER being compared to Carter....now that is one heck of a high compliment!

Just like the praise Obama gets when he is being compared to Carter, who really set the bar for the big "O" to match.

So far he's right up to speed in matching the "success" of Jimmy's Presidency.

Thanks comrades, as a true made progressive it is my duty to the collective to get in touch with my multiple inner comrades whether I want to or not, just so you must know I cannot accept all the praise here and I must Spread The Wealth Around.

If it weren't for a recent gala on Colonel 7.62 threw in honor of Bruno I would have never been able to get that damn fruity sweater glorious delicate outfit on. It took the Colonel and Bruno and twenty Red Guards to tie me down and gag me help me to put that damn thing glorious refined piece of work on my bodice.

Once again thank you comrades, please send your donations to the Jimmy Catta Nano Rabbit Protection and Racket Society for The Children Today!

Hail Obama!

Reiuxcat,

Speaking of models here are a couple beauties for you.

Is there a zipper at the back for collecting the eggs?

I know a little Troll named Hiney that would look good in one of those.

I denounce comrade Docski as an escapee from the iOTW gulag. Comrade, you'll see that we have little tolerance for thought criminals here at the Cube.

RR, I'm so glad that you love your Technicolor Socialist Coat, brought to you by the writing team of Prog and Webbedfinger. Bruno was on tenterhooks for a month, hoping that you'd like it.

You preened so much that we have another surprise for you. Bruno sprinkled some magic fairy glitter on your wardrobe. Thirty years ago your clothes would have started to turn paisley; now they will turn into worn jeans and rough cotton work shirts without sleeves, and if you hang out on corners under street lights you can be known for being the giving and caring prog that you really are.

I wanted Bruno to leave one of his Carmen Miranda hats though, to really start you off with a bang. But I couldn't get him to do it.

"Theocritus," Bruno sobbed. "This is the hat that I wore as Carmen at the gala HRC dance! I can't let go of it! Bonnie Fwank loves it. He told me!"

But just between us, RR, I don't know if I'd do that drag thing. For some reason I feel that it's just not...you.

Commissar, You know that Senator Robert Byrd and I have been avid supporters of GLSEN and all proper collective movements of The Party for over a century. Whatever loosed brained useful idiots we can pimp Peoples causes we can champion, we do our duty. I'll Spread The Wealth of your gift to the Lost Boys of the southwest who wander from a polygamous cult to the hands of male prostitution in Las Vegas. Meanwhile let us share in the succession of The Peoples Business and the glorious pursuit of Progress™....

Next thing you know, Red Rooster will show up at some Hollywood awards banquet showing his cleavage down to his belly button. No, wait a minute, that would be Bruno.

You don't want to see Bruno's cleavage down to the belly button--all the razor bumps, you know.

And RR, Bruno was looking over my shoulder and saw his hat in Tweety Byrd's head and he's still sobbing in the Barbra room.

Yes, Commissar, you can tell Bruno it makes me too very very very VERY sad to see that fruit hat on Comrade Byrd.

In fact I can't stop sobbing at the atrocity! But you know it's for The Children(TM) that we must bear such great sadness.

And Leninka, I tried wearing a silk shirt unbuttoned to the belly and a medallion recently but the local butcher kept whipping out his carving knife every time I went to town -- that was enough exhibitionism of my breast for me.

Please tell Bruno that the hat does not make the girl. It's how he carries himself when wearing the hat that matters.

RR, I'm still shuddering over your escape from the butcher. But have you thought of perhaps breeding with our Many Titted Empress? Now that would be some breast meat. Thousands of them.

Leninka, Bruno just doesn't know to properly accessorize. You'd think he would by now, but no. His handbag is never <i>quite</i> right; his shoes don't match either. But then bear in mind that a 15EEE is hard to find if you're looking for stiletto pumps.

I've just given up on Bruno, frankly. I think that I can get him to walk right--one foot directly in fron t of the other--and if he sees a dust mote sparkling in the air, he's gone and it's all forgotten.

I have the best recipe forfried rooster...fried chicken and mashed potatoes . . . . meat loaf.

Not only all that, but Comrade Rooster is also the lead singer of a social justice minded death metal band (Chikn N Bizkuts) The guys has a pretty deep message to share

Commissar Theocritus wrote: Leninka, Bruno just doesn't know to properly accessorize. You'd think he would by now, but no. His handbag is never <i>quite</i> right; his shoes don't match either. But then bear in mind that a 15EEE is hard to find if you're looking for stiletto pumps.

I've just given up on Bruno, frankly. I think that I can get him to walk right--one foot directly in fron t of the other--and if he sees a dust mote sparkling in the air, he's gone and it's all forgotten.

Don't forget about that handbag that he took to the DNC banquet a while back!!! Like OMG!!! It was just gaudy!

Comade RR, I have to ask. Will ACORN ever get around to torching all the KFC joints in the country?

--

How I wish you hadn't brought up memories of that DNC banquet. Bruno waltzed in there, and as usual when he entered the room there was complete silence, a few coughs, and then nervous conversation. The AC fans started back up again.

Things were, eh, okay, until Bruno saw Nanski, and he screamed, "Theocritus! It's the velociraptor!" and kicked off his shoes and started running toward the exit.

Nanski looked around and started waving her arms, and that started the stampede. All the people there started screaming and running for the exits. Not much damage was done.

That was what put Senator Byrd in his wheel chair. But the Holy Gore was trampled, and since they hit only his head, a simple comb-out was all that was needed. Several people hit Michael Moore in the gut, and he's fine, although the first two people who were extracted from Michael's belly with the jaws of life had suffocated. We're all hopeful for the third one.

Ah. A black day.

Yes I remember that dark day Kind and Generous Leader, Even the Psychotic Goons Highly Trained Behavior Modification Counselors were shaken up by this event.

But my Recollection was Nanski, was shouting I'm the speaker of the house, I have a private Jet. You will Bow down to me. I Like Sanka, get me a Prune Daiquiri !!!


But this is not about Nanski, we all remember when RR came to the collective, some here want to put Barbecue sauce on him. But his first assignment of signing up voters for the great and powerful Zero, was a howling success. This is how he earned his first designation guardian of the Grave yard vote.

No one can sign up dead people better, even Accorn is envious.



Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality®INC
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith

Comrades,

It seems to me that Comrade Red Rooster is attempting to conceal feather hoarding tendencies and possibly relapsing into reactionary thought. Is a feather redistribution party in order to help RR recover proper thinking?

Tovarich, you raise an interesting point. If RR needs some re-education, all that we would need would be the tar. The feathers are already there.

Red Star, you're quite right that RR has been very good at signing up necro-proxy voters. Sometimes two or three in the same grave. You know, Anne Marie Smith. A. M. Smith. Anne M. Smith. A. Marie Smith. Anne Smith. Marie Smith. That's six voters from one name. Find a grave with four names and you've struck gold.

So you think that Snoogie, since he started this, is getting ready for a RR show trial? Now I'd be up for that, as I am up for all show trials, because when people are focusing on some poor innocent stooge they're not focusing on me and I'm guilty as sin.

But one thing: Don't let Pupovich defend RR. Pupovich enjoys show trials entirely too much.

Comrade Commissar Theocritus,

As regards to tar, is it not a Blood for Oil derivative? If so, I think some organic Fair Trade peanut oil and a similarly sourced clotting agent would provide an equitable substitute.

Theo, I don't think it wise to put RR on trial right now. Let's wait until after he gets done with the peoples business before we take him out and shoot him.

After all, it's not a question of guilt, but rather extra crispy or original recipe.

Comrade RR,

I'm in shock from your squawk!

RR, KCF doesn't serve rooster either--just young chicken, and not a tough, old stringy bird like you.

Which is a good thing, you know. Some spring chicken just wouldn't have your chops in being a true prog: dishonesty, superciliousness, lying, paranoia, and dementia.

You are needed, friend, and we are not going to serve you up.

At least until you forget to watch your back. All's fair in love, war and prog politics.

RR, your intense stare made me feel like a juicy beetle crawling across the barnyard. Come to think of it, perhaps a capitalist pig roast would be better. At least you don't have to pluck 'em first.The IRS does that for ya.

[quote=" capitalist pig roast .[/quote]

Sounds like fun! Can we invite our fiends friends from The Religion of Peace? I found a couple of possibilities, I think feel we should do both! (If The Party approves, of course!)

Pig it is! Shall we start with some Porkulus? Or just move right to some SwineCare?

While the Porkulus is just extra fat, the SwineCare just leaves you with carcass and bone...

Either way it's more necro-proxy votes for The Party comrades!

Bon Appetite!

Do you suppose that the porculus is the result of all of Congress being infected with the swine flu? I know that most of them are entirely swinish.

But I'm not sure about calling it <i>porculus</i>. As I recall, "ul--" is a diminutive and there aren't nothing small about that bill.

Red Rooster wrote:

Comrade Cock, you have no imagination.

Do you think we are so barbaric that we allow executed capitalist kittehs to hang and rot like some pirate movie cliche? Hell no! We sell the carcasses to the local chinese chain.

After all, you are not the only one that tastes like chicken.

Observe the processing of the latest batch of traitors!


They deserve worse, but we must finance my endless supply of French Pate the upgrade to the People's Cube.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Do you suppose that the porculus is the result of all of Congress being infected with the swine flu? I know that most of them are entirely swinish.

But I'm not sure about calling it <i>porculus</i>. As I recall, "ul--" is a diminutive and there aren't nothing small about that bill.

Porkpocalypse perhaps?

Porcageddon.

Aragnapork.

Red Rooster wrote:

Did you figure it out yet?!? Or are you all still contemplating the leather Evel Knievel suit!?!

Five years is a long time to wait for a reply Comrade Rooster. Give me some tome to think about it.

Reiuxcat, I'm surprised at you. Just as one year equals seven years to a dog (I can't recall offhand the exact number for a cat), so do five years equal the same day to the Government.

(*Sobbing...*)