The reports are surfacing, that State and Federal government agencies in charge of cleaning-up the oil spill are turning away ordinary citizens volunteering to join the efforts for free. This is wonderful news for The Party and the rest of Progressive humanity.

Although enforced (or paid-for, such as in the case of "Americorps") volunteerism is important for the advancement of Socialism, the uncontrolled and genuine volunteers are of grave danger to our Goals:

1. These volunteers will reduce the pressure on BP to hire "professionals". And we need more of such professionals to help staff a brand new Federal Disaster Clean-up agency with loyal unionized employees, who'll stand on full alert collecting salaries and pensions, ready to clean-up an oil spill every 20 years or so...
   
   
2. These volunteers will reduce the number of "jobs created", which Obama needs to survive the reaKKKtionary forces and get elected into the second term.
   
   
3. They make mockery of the official volunteer organization, creating an impression, that those a) can only exist with government financing; and b) are only good for canvassing voters in the Democrat-leaning districts.

Join me, comrades, in spreading the message: hobbyist bird-washers must stay home! Better the birds die, than be treated by anyone without an up-to-date license to clean them.

The inner circle has dispatched this high ranking Comrade to ensure no one will ever volunteer for the clean up effort again!