They had lived for more than a decade in American cities and suburbs from San Fransisco to Philadelphia... they seemed to be ordinary citizens.... working ordinary jobs.... chatting to neighbors about Preferans and Public Education, apologizing for their out zoned odoriferous beet fields and pigeon coops. But then....

Just hours after Comrade Medved met for a glorious Party meeting with Dear Leader Obama - 11 secret SVR agents were captured and arrested by the Neo-Kulak Kapitalist F.B.I. With glorious secret stashes of invisible ink, attache cases, dark glasses, x-ray goggles and sea monkeys.... the infamous 11 went down without a shoe phone alert or a secret Party call on the hooker red flashy light phone.

Among the MIA SVR Agents for The Motherland were Comrades and Commissars in high standing of The Party Elite: Red Star, Mikhail T. Kalashnikov, Mousey Tounge, Sister Massively Opiated, Chairman M. S. Punchenko, Zampolit Blokhayev, RedTheProgressiveFox, Dr. Strangelove, Premiere Betty, Marshal Pupovich, and Kommissar Blogunov.

This is a tragic day for The Party™for the comrades!

---------------

Secret Party Source Article: https://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/29/worl ... 29spy.html

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I am betting that dear Leader is so relived he was on "captured" (chuckle chuckle) He is such a sly one, is he not? Which bring up the point. . . what is the bigger freaker deal with this? Communist in Congress, communist in the Senate, communist in the White Houseage; what is wrong with loyal comrades? I think some of the FBI are in just needfulness of personal attention. Maybe a vacation in Florida would be in order?

Fear not comrades, I'm offering my services as defense attorney. I'm confident that I can get their sentences reduced from lethal injection to 20 years hard labor on bread and water.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Fear not comrades, I'm offering my services as defense attorney. I'm confident that I can get their sentences reduced from lethal injection to 20 years hard labor on bread and water.

Glorious Comrade Whoopie!

I think your services will not be needed! Do not wait for phone call on this, as I have it on bestest information from our OTHER unidentified moles within the Justice Dept that Commissar Attorney General Holder will not prosecute!

Too many more urgent things to do, such as striking out against the anti-prog law SB1070 of Arizona, and investigating the reichwingnuts of the Tea Parties for crimes against the Collective!

Well, I'm clean. I'm as clean as a bag full of DNC funds. I even have an alibi: I was eating lunch at that burger joint when Obama just happened to drop in unannounced.

If you don't believe me, ask the good folks at SEIU who paid me to eat there at that hour, and promised me an extra $10.00 if I cheered when Obama walked in. Well, I cheered, and if you don't believe me, just read all the MSM reports.

Or you can even ask the Secret Service, who asked for my birth certificate the week prior so they could clear me to eat there at that particular date and time.

I was so well behaved. They told me to act real nonchalant and let the president eat in peace because it's not every day he gets outside the WH bubble to live as an ordinary mortal like me. Since I've had to pull this particular duty before whenever he eats out, it was easy.

They also promised me an extra strip of bacon on my burger if I refrained from being a smart-ass by asking him to lower my taxes. Hey, I'm a patriot and would never suggest lowering taxes.

But I took the bacon anyway. They offered it, because if you don't take advantage of everything the government offers you, guess what? The Republicans will insist on cutting funding for it.

So I took it. Because I, unlike the spies identified by Red Rooster, am a patriot.

And don't anyone dare ever question my patriotism.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Fear not comrades, I'm offering my services as defense attorney. I'm confident that I can get their sentences reduced from lethal injection to 20 years hard labor on bread and water.

We already have these in the People's Gulag . . . so we need your services for why? But, I might be forced gladly accept, if some busy body Rethuglican shows up at my door with a warrant and photo's in hand. I, of course, will be forced to name names and pronounce denouncements, to prove I am a true Made Prog.
oh wait, I am forgetful! I do believe Comradess Elena Kagan has show us new Current Truth ™ ! -'the truth is what is convenient for our personal agendas'! (you may quote me)

wheeee, we can all rest easy now. A New Revised Current Truth ™ is rising.

Commissaka Pinkie, we are all proud of the diligent work you are doing for the good of the collective. Now please pass a hamburger and don't be a smarty ass about it. (I make wee joke! ha ha)

That's our Pinkie...always there when the Pork is passed around.

This is an outrage! We can't let our brothers go down like this! Anyone up for a rescue mission like they do in those Hollywood movies?

Commissar Elliott, what a glorious, wonderfully, brillantly, idea!

And, uhh, umm, good luck find loyal comrades to join you!

I wonder what secrets they gathered that would have been useful? What did they know and when did they know it? Take Comrade Pinkie's story, for instance--did she really tell the truth? Just how many extra pieces of bacon was Comrade Pinkie given? What secrets do they have on others here in the gulag?

Komrades, do not be dismayed by loss of handull of second tier operatives. Glorious Communist Revolution has made great strides in decades of infiltration and had installed loyal party workers at HIGHEST levels of Government, Education, Media and all areas of crumbling decadent Western society. Kommissar Soros, Sterns and Ayers have Dear Leader, SpeakWhore Pelosi Pawn Reid and armies of others ready to do their bidding! Komrade Holder and apparatchics in Justice Dept will see that capured Party agents are never subjected to disgrace of American jail.
Be proud! This is most glorious time to be part of Peoples Revolution as we are at dawn of last days of corrupt American system! Thanks to loyal work of Leftist teachers few Americans have basic undestanding of their outdated Constitution. Loyal DNC Pols have bred three generations who are totally dependent on Party for support.
No Komrades, this is time for joy and vodka as we prepare for Communist wave to wash away capitalist system and outdated "Freedom" idea!
Election of Obama took one year. His final destruction of America will take one four year term.
Perfect Central Planning FIVE YEAR PLAN!
Look at way Putin laughs at America as glorious Mother land sells weapon systems and nuclear technology to Iran as loyal stooge Obama feins objection. No Komrades, this is dawn of Communisms greatest day!

Comrade Whoopie

Perhaps I could have some of my Highly trained life Councilors speak to the witnesses. Perhaps they could be persuaded that they only saw some good Americans, who enjoy communicating is strange ways.


Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality® INC
The Kind and Lovable, Green Commissar
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith

Great idea Red Star, you are a paragon of wisdom, we should hear from you more often.

Leninka I don't think their mission was to steal secrets. Word is they were trying to get close to public policy makers in an effort to influence gov. policy. One of the spies, a red headed woman, wrote many letters to the editor in newspapers. The text of her letters reads like someone who should be blogging for Huffinglue or MoveOn (or the Cube for that matter).

Now how silly is that? Russians trying to steer the American Left. Right now we could be teaching them a thing or two about how to restore the old Soviet system. They should just sit back and take notes. Or better yet, visit the People's Cube.

Leninka wrote:I wonder what secrets they gathered that would have been useful? What did they know and when did they know it? Take Comrade Pinkie's story, for instance--did she really tell the truth? Just how many extra pieces of bacon was Comrade Pinkie given? What secrets do they have on others here in the gulag?

Leninka, I am shocked--shocked!--that you would suggest such a thing about me. I was merely offered a strip of bacon to refrain from making smart-ass remarks to Dear Leader. That is no different from the medal they now award the troops if they refrain from shooting the enemy. Or being told I don't have to take final exams to graduate if I have perfect attendance for nine straight weeks.

I was only doing my patriotic duty by accepting the bacon offered me by the government.

If they offer me free health care, I take it.

If they offer to give me an EBT card so I don't have to pay for groceries out of my tattoo fund, I take it.

If they offer to give me free Obama money from Obama who gets it from somewhere, I don't know, his slush fund or his free Obama money tree, then I take it.

Anytime the government offers me anything, for any reason, I take it, because it's my patriotic duty.

You see, taking what the government offers creates a demand. The more I take, the more they offer, which in turn means they get more funding for that particular program. Of course, they'll always get funding for it even without demand, but when demand, or even the merest illusion of it goes up, that means they must have more and more money for it, until finally it is enshrined as a glorious Entitlement.

Forget diamonds. Entitlements Are Forever!

And that is all due to me--or rather, I, Pinkie--doing my patriotic duty. For keeping government programs continually funded and venerated to Entitlement is the highest form of patriotism.

What more proof does anyone need that I am more patriotic than any of the rest of you?

GASP! Pinkie, what are you saying? We're all equals. Even the People's Director, the big red One is but first among equals. More equaler as Commissar Buffoon would say, but still equal. And now you say you are "more" of something other than equal?

I need to sit down and have a drink.

Point well taken, Comrade Pinkie, and my apologies for speaking of you in the third person. I just had bacon on the brain. In fact, really, I was jealous of your getting that extra piece of bacon. You see, I'm still waiting for my piece of bacon. So far, all I've gotten is a big hunk of government cheese. Of course, you were at an event where Dear Leader was present. And, as you know, the handouts, depending on Dear Leader's capricious whims can vary dramatically. Nevertheless, I don't recall Dear Leader ever giving away a Kobe beef rib eye.

Comrade Whoopie,

I wonder if these spies slept with anyone high up in order to obtain secrets.

Bacon, bacon, bacon. What is all this bacon talk? If it has having to do with Congressional Mandated Pork, did not comrade Byrd pass on to his great Red Reward ™ (supplied in part by dear Leader) and thus, the end of baconage, or am I drifting in confusion? Bacon is good because bacon is divided into equality parts; bacon is bad because it is on Mama Mo's 'Hit List' ™. It is a dilemma, is it not?

"Forget diamonds. Entitlements Are Forever!" forget what Comrade Whoopie is saying, this is a most glorious statement of equalities! I have a tear, Commissarka Pinkie.

Now, Whoopie, about that drink . . . what time will you be serving??

I demand that Pinkie redistribute her excess patriotism (and bacon) to the Collective. More equality for all.

As for these so-called spies. I notice they aren't being charged with espionage. They are only charged with being unregistered agents of a foreign government. Like being foreign lobbyists who forgot to mention that fact when they started lobbying politicians. A mere technical oversight if you ask me. I expect they'll be fined some trivial fine and deported.

Like I said, I think it was foolish of comrade Putin to send agents of influence over here to try and teach us what we've already been doing so well. I feel insulted.

Leave it to the Commissarka to define Patriotism for us all, but stop with the talk of bacon, you're all making me hungry. I'd give anything for a BLT right now. I'm down here in the jungles working with orphan children. The conditions here are the harshest possible and our supplies meager. My Obama, they have mosquitoes the size of Hummingbirds!

Now, this business about the Comrades 11 is totally absurd. They are the Elite of the Elite and beyond reproach. I'm positive they are innocent of all charges and know without a doubt that they didn't abscond with the People's Cube Pension Fund.

Have to go now, the People's Com Sat is about to go out of range.
Click click bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Commissar Elliott, what a glorious, wonderfully, brillantly, idea!

And, uhh, umm, good luck find loyal comrades to join you!

What?! I thought I'd get an army out of comrades on here! Well, I guess I'll go it alone then.

As for these so-called spies. I notice they aren't being charged with espionage. They are only charged with being unregistered agents of a foreign government.

I really don't know what the big hubbub is all about anyway. All these comrades had to do was come through Mexico and they would have been ignored. (do they not teach this in the motherland?).
Secondly, just read the NYTimes - all the good government secrets are posted bi-monthly. How do they think Mr. binLaden knew the Bushitlers were tracking his cell phones? Most easily, they could have just called Comrade Rahm or Cass Sunstein... or Van Jones and gotten all the secrets their little hearts were desirous of. (they made this stuff so much harder than it had to be).

I demand amnesty for these Undocumented Foreign Intelligence Guest Workers NOW! How can we be expected to operate an economy without these stalwart Russians doing the jobs that no American mole will do? Not only do I demand amnesty for these poor, oppressed Undocumented Foreign Intelligence Guest Workers, I demand that they be paid fairly, at union wages, and that a special tip line be set up by the government to take reports on employers who abuse their Undocumented Foreign Intelligence Guest Workers!

JUSTICE FOR UNDOCUMENTED FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE GUEST WORKERS NOW!


JUSTICE FOR UNDOCUMENTED FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE GUEST WORKERS NOW!

Red Rooster wrote: Among the MIA SVR Agents for The Motherland were Comrades and Commissars in high standing of The Party Elite: Red Star, Mikhail T. Kalashnikov, Mousey Tounge, Sister Massively Opiated, Chairman M. S. Punchenko, Zampolit Blokhayev, RedTheProgressiveFox, Dr. Strangelove, Premiere Betty, Marshal Pupovich, and Kommissar Blogunov.

This is a tragic day for The Party™for the comrades!

That's GENERAL Mousey-Tongue to you, bird brain! Your incompetence will bring nothing but ruin to the Party. You have uwittingly exposed a deep-cover operation to flush out the true spies and enemies of The People! I will enjoy presiding over your show-trial, and watching Laika toss you about like a chew-toy!

Nice spy graphic, by the way...always was a favorite, that Spy-vs-Spy. Not that I read such bourgeouis trash...

HOW DARE YOU USE THAT "W" WORD!!!! We made progressives cringe at that word. You may call it a contribution to the party. The Proles might use that word in secret.

Think have you actually seen the Obamessiah "work". he is always playing Golf.

Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality® INC
The Kind and Lovable, Green Commissar
Director of Kicking Doors at Midnight
Keeper of the sacred Plasma Cutter
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith

oooh, I like that Comrade Red Star, it shows up your thinking abilities (are we allowed to say that???)... the "W" word is out! The "D" word is IN. We must all recognize our "dependence" on our Obamessiah government.

Not all of the Undocumented Electorate have been thoroughly Americanized. Proper Political Vocabulary takes time and practice.