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Comrades! Got some free time on Sunday? Wanna fix all the ills in the world? Well, we won't be fixing anything, but we sure will be bitching about it! C'mon out to New Yawk City! It will be the place to be seen!

Hollywood actor Leonardo DiCaprio, former US vice president turned advocate Al Gore, UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon and New York Mayor Bill de Blasio are due to take part in the "People's Climate March."

That's Right! Whose climate march?? The Peoples fricken' climate march!

*Sigh* LEO! *swoon* Thats right folks! Be seen with a bona-fide Hollywood celebrity! If that isn't enough for you, you will also be exposed to the oratory skills of our favorite never-was president Al "the Goracle" Gore!!!

Now, how much would you pay for all that? Because thats not all! The UN will be getting in their act as well.

Still not convinced to go?

"We are breaking ground here on many different levels," UN climate chief Christiana Figueres told reporters. "First, we're going to see unprecedented public mobilization for climate action."

Un. Precedented. Thats fancy speak for "Y'all better be there, or be square!"

Now, if you STILL aren't convinced, please wait for me to find a pistol.

.
I guess we really don't need that Pied Piper...
.
.

Everyone who is lonely
I've got a place for you
Where the music plays
Til way past two

Come along now
Let's go down to the scene
(Well, what's it like there)
Meet me down at the scene
(Tell me more, tell me more)
You'll live just like a queen
When you're down at the scene
-- At the Scene, Dave Clark Five

"Tens of thousands" is an easy goal. ACORN and its residuals have their national registry for rent-a-crowd and can put an audience of the required size and demographics (fainting women available for a modest increase in cost) at the appointed place and time.

Especially if Democrat "audience math" is used as it was in the glory days of the campaigns...as seen in this image of "thousands of enthusiastic constituents packing the stadium hoping for a glimpse..."

Well, Tov, there is the well-known saying: "My strength is the strength of ten because my heart is pure." Why shouldn't that be modified to "My attendance counts as the attendance of thousands for my heart is liberal"? It's only fair that we get counted more than some tea-bagger showing up for a rally.

"[highlight=#ffff00]We are breaking ground here[/highlight] on many different levels," UN climate chief Christiana Figueres told reporters.
"First, we're going to see unprecedented public mobilization for climate action."

Aha! It seems that the tens of thousands will be exhumed for the occasion, just as they are for elections.

Ivan, Red,
It's true, we count attendance the way we count votes. The "glitch" comes in accounting for ticket/gate revenue, but as long as there is one millionaire or billionaire with a corporate jet, we have a source of redistributable funds to pay for the venue.

Let's see ... 10,000 people and each one with four ounces of trash ... that's 2500 pounds of trash for each 10,000 people ... and "tens of thousands" are coming ... let's say six tens of thousands ... I figure at least 15,000 pounds of trash scattered everywhere.

And who is paying for the grounds cleanup afterward? That's right, comrades, it's the repressive middle class and their taxes!

100% Infidel wrote: Un. Precedented. Thats fancy speak for "Y'all better be there, or be square!"
Now, if you STILL aren't convinced, please wait for me to find a pistol.

Here's a pistol…

Consenseless

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(To the tune of Eleanor Rigby)



Ah, look at all the lonely Green people
Ah, look at all the lonely Green people

Eleanor Rigby picks up some trash in the street where her protest has been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the picket line, wearing the face that she keeps in a hemp pouch on the floor
Who is it for?

All the lonely Green people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely Green people
Where do they all belong?

Leo Decrapio writing the words of a speech that no one will hear
No one comes near.
Look at him working. meanwhile he sneaks off to ride a huge yacht in the crisp Rio air
What does he care?

All the lonely Green people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely Green people
Where do they all belong?

Eleanor Rigby died when she was chained by her friends to a tree to be Green.
Nobody came
Leo DeCrapio wiping the ice from a drink as he flew off in a Learjet 40
The planet was saved.

By all the lonely Green people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely Green people
Where do they all belong?

Why not? We've tried everything else to raise awareness of Climate Change.

Live Earth concerts—that was way back in 2007.

Turning off the lights once a year for one hour on a Saturday night when most businesses and all public facilities are closed anyway.

Breaking off a chunk of Greenland exposed by the melting glaciers and towing it around the British Isles during the 2012 Summer Olympics—whatever happened to the guy who planned to do that, anyway?

And of course, ringing bells 350 times to symbolize the 350 parts per million that mark the safe upper limit for CO2 in the Earth's atmosphere—because ringing bells only 10 times would confuse people into thinking it was 10 o'clock instead of calling attention to the fact that we only have 10 years left to save what remains of the planet.

And mind you, all of the above was from at least five years ago.

Yet after all these years and all these efforts to raise awareness and funding, we STILL have just as many years left to save the planet as we did 40 years ago!

So I will join this march with my awareness ribbons, my EarthStrong wristbands, and my piece of paper sporting the hashtag #BeAwareICare. I would also change my avatar on all social media to raise awareness of how much I care about climate change, but apparently there is no such avatar and anyway, I was told on Friday to change my avatar to that It's On Us thing that's supposed to raise awareness of how much I care about—about—well, I can't remember, but the important thing is that I care even if I have yet to see anyone else using that avatar.

Anyway, I will be present for this celebrity march since I care about celebrities climate change. And since I am registered to vote in at least 57 states, I do believe I should count as 57 people.

Which means I shall also require sufficient funding for 57 people commensurate with my status as a high-ranking Party member.

Hey Comrades! I'll be there!

I'll be ridin' up the coast (all hicks are from the South, doncha know?) on whatever I can ride, and arrive just in time! Why?

'Cause I'm Cletus the slack-jawed yokel! And, I know how to "git her done!"

Here's all I have to say about that: