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Once a WMD, sometimes a WMD

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Dateline Washington DC -

Comrade Secretary of State John "Swift Boat" Kerry today pointed out that, just because the chemical WMDs lately used in Syria are the same ones Saddam shipped there back when Bush lied and people died because they didn't exist then, that doesn't mean that they didn't somehow become real during the interim. Because, Bush.

While the uninitiated - i.e. teabaggers, conservatives, and Republicans - may have difficulty understanding the logic of such a statement, we on the Progressive Left are, of course, fully and gloriously aware of how the Current Truth functions.

This elite awareness also comes in handy as we contemplate why it was so wrong for former president George W. >Spit< Bush to attack an innocent country after no discernible provocation and with no actual threat to the United Soviet States of America, and yet not only logical but imperative that Comrade President B. Husseinovich Obama take immediate shocking and awing action against the criminal regime in Syria.

In fact, it's been pointed out that it's likely that President Obama will be awarded another Nobel Peace Prize for the courageous actions he is sure to take over the next few days in ridding the world of yet another scourge and threat to American peace and safety.

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John "can-I-get-me-one-of-them-huntin-licenses" Kerry needs our help in proving the gas attacks are real. I, for one, have sent a rodent cousin (or some such relative) to volunteer in the testing program. I only wish I could go there myself, but my jet ski needs another coat of wax without delay. Wish comrade rabbit the best of luck.

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This just in -

Comrade General Secretary of State John Kerry-Heinz today called on his good friend and fellow Vietnam Warrior, former Vice President Algore™, to "Join him one more time in looking down the barrel of the enemy, in a green and sustainable way".

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Comrade Algore™ was unavailable for comment, as he is currently flitting about the world in private jets doing all he can to Save The Planet™ before it's too late.

Those in the know, however, made it clear that they expect Algore™ and Comrade General Secretary of State Kerry-Heinz to "gitter done" one way or another, and hopefully for a profit, before any more formerly non-existent but currently way scary WMDs are used on the Syrian people.

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Comrade ROCK; Gas is bad for the digestion and other living things. BTW: Are we the only two people left on Earth?

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Syria's just trying to implement their own version of ObamaCare. Come on, world. It's going to take them some time to figure out "what's in it." Some things work, some things kill thousands. That's what happens when Syria passes a health care law without anybody reading it. The new rules will take some time to iron out. Be patient.

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A MOST excellent point, Comrade $.$. (May I call you Buck(s)?) - I hadn't considered the healthcare application of the evil WMDs, but I'm sure that Dear Comrade Leader President B. Husseinovich Obama is way ahead of all of us - and may even have read at least some of it!

Comrade Squirrel, there appear to be at least three of us left, and I suspect that Tovarichi is lurking around here somewhere too. Only time and a suitable application of AssadCare™ will tell.

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Do our Syrian Mooslim Comrades make their own Vodka, or is it imported?

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Comrade Tovarich Tovarichi, do you mean our Syrian Misloom Government comrades or our Syrian Misloom Al Qaeda comrades? One must be specific these days.

Meanwhile, as expected, the despicable reich wing teabagger non-journalist press claims that it was the Al Qaeda rebels using the WMDs, not the Syrian government forces.

If only there was a god, maybe we could kill them all and let HIM sort it out :O

Just sayin'...

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President Obama said today in an interview with a local Washington DC radio station that as former president Harry Truman said “The buck stops with me, and I can assure the people of this great country, that I will assess this buck, review it with my staff, and pass it on to the person or persons best equipped or easiest to kick under a bus.”

In further remarks regarding Syria, the President in consultation with his cabinet, has determined that Syria has indeed crossed over the red line that he put forth last year. In response the President has sent 4 destroyers to sail in the general vicinity of Syria where all the waste will be dropped off to float to the Syrian beaches. President Obama has now issued a warning to Assad that a further attack would be crossing a double red line, which if confirmed by the White House, all of the NATO allies, and the UN, could result in a double secret probation.

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Comrade Pup, it's my understanding that, in addition to the garbage on the beaches, the official White House Twitter account and Jay Carney's Facebook page will also denounce, deride, and generally cast aspersions at the Syrian government.

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As long as we all understand, Comrade Obama's main goal is to help Al Qaeda The Children, I say we park an aircraft carrier there and let the garbage flow as it may.

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Asswad has no idea who he is messing with.

In the basements of their mother's homes across the nation, Amerika's new barbarians kill anything that moves.


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Assad is "this close" to a sternly worded letter that tells him how we feel...

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WTF are you talking about on this thread???
You have to get your priorities straight to be a real prog.

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Dig4Utopia wrote:
WTF are you talking about on this thread???
You have to get your priorities straight to be a real prog.
Quite true .... In other non-news not reported until the non-event quietly went away the mainstream O-press is pleased not to report that a second white-japanese-hispanic has been arrested for failing to help keep elderly WWII veteran Shorty from falling down and injuring himself. It is believed that Shorty's wound received on Okinawa cntributed to the mishap. The white-japanese-hispanic youth are being treated for emotional distress, and screened to determine which public programs will get them the most free stuff, so they have more free time to be more attentive to the elderly who may need assistance. Now, back to Miley ....

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Anyer Marx wrote: .... In other non-news not reported until the non-event quietly went away the mainstream O-press is pleased not to report that a second white-japanese-hispanic has been arrested for failing to help keep elderly WWII veteran Shorty from falling down and injuring himself. It is believed that Shorty's wound received on Okinawa cntributed to the mishap. The white-japanese-hispanic youth are being treated for emotional distress, and screened to determine which public programs will get them the most free stuff, so they have more free time to be more attentive to the elderly who may need assistance.

I have a report in my proletarian soaked paws that the Ministry of Love stated that this reactionary, war mongering 88 year young man likely contributed to his "setback" by fighting back against those poor innocent children who were clearly lost and simply asking for directions. Why else would they have flashlights with them? We can only hope they were not traumatized by this war trained warrior's rage.

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This just in (and to be announced officially later this week on Letterman during a special guest appearance by President B. Husseinovich Obama) -

The United States military has determined that the operational name for the upcoming war in Syria will be "Operation Wag the Dog".

The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Comrade General Martin E. Dempsey, stated that there is no relationship between the upcoming war and the movie of the same name, saying that it's only a coincidence and that the Syrian operation is, in fact, named for the First Family's new puppy.

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What's the difference between George W. Bush deciding to attack Iraq over WMDs and Barak H. Obama deciding to attack Syria over WMDs?

International War-Criminal Bush built an international coalition and enforced UN resolutions. Nobel Peace Prize winning Obama...hasn't

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Somebody please add some beet vodka to Brain In Jar's, umm, jar?

The alcohol level appears to have dropped below 120 proof.

Comrade Ivan, everyone knows that whatever our Dear President does is for the good of everyone! The specifics don't matter, and don't forget that he was a constitutional scholar/lawyer!

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In a moment of surprising transparency today, and immediately after his human mask fell off during a press briefing, Comrade Secretary of State John Kerry admitted to the journalists present that he is, in fact, related to Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sibelius, and that they're actually from the same hive on their home planet.

Kerry stated, for the record, that while it's true that he and Sibelius have never actually been seen together, there is no truth to the rumor that they are, in fact, the same person.

The Secretary of State called the briefing to announce that this time it's different from when Bush went to war with congressional and international approval over chemical WMDs, because we now have YouTube and Twitter, and that's every bit as good as approval from congress.

In related news, Syrian leader Bashar al-Assad's 11 year old son and American President B. Husseinovich Obama got into a spitting match when Assad's son called Obama a "big fat ugly clown" and the president responded with "Oh yeah? Uh, well, uh you're stupid."

The president appeared to be looking for his teleprompters before replying, but they weren't with him at the time and he was forced to ad lib his reply.

Details to follow as they come in.

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Ivan Betinov wrote:What's the difference between George W. Bush deciding to attack Iraq over WMDs and Barak H. Obama deciding to attack Syria over WMDs?

International War-Criminal Bush built an international coalition and enforced UN resolutions. Nobel Peace Prize winning Obama...hasn't

Comrade Brain in a Jar....Why? Why do you leave me no choice? I am forced to denounce Comrade Betinov for spouting pro-Bush sloganeering propaganda of the most heinous sort. One can only hope that a crack is discovered in his jar and the alcohol has been drained.

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Oh, I'll see your denouncement of me and raise you a denouncment of YOU for using the phrase "pro-Bush" instead of the party approved moniker "International War-Criminal Bush."

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Ivan Betinov wrote:Oh, I'll see your denouncement of me and raise you a denouncment of YOU for using the phrase "pro-Bush" instead of the party approved moniker "International War-Criminal Bush."

Ah, I can see the crack has been fixed and your jar filled with alcohol and Marx knows what else. I am glad to see you have recovered Comrade Betinov, my work is done.


 
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