As my comrades here know, our beloved Obama and his most competent and beloved supporters have done more to increase diversity in the gulag...er...our United Socialist States than all the presidents in the past collectively. Yet it is clear that there is still a need for more. The cold unbiased eye of the mainstream media has focused on the many jobs that you simply cannot find American comrades to do such as picking beets, potatoes, fruit, carpentry, lawn care....this list could go on forever. Of course that is because we have nearly full employment in the better jobs thanks to Obama's wise management of the economy.

Yet today, while I was deep in thought on how the People's Cube can be made even stronger, the cause furthered, and what sort of punishment is due the prole that failed to fill my vodka sherbet cup fully, I ran across this story of a hard working man who is doing a job we just can't find an American to fill. It is an inspiring story I believe you will all agree!

Shopper Ingested Semen-Tainted Yogurt Sample

FEBRUARY 7 -- Confirming the suspicions of a New Mexico woman, a yogurt sample provided to her last month by a grocery clerk contained semen, according to test results that prompted police to secure a search warrant authorizing them to collect blood and DNA samples from the suspect.

The disclosure that the yogurt sample from an Albuquerque market tested positive for “sperm cells” and saliva is contained in a search warrant affidavit seeking blood and DNA samples from Anthony Garcia, the 31-year-old suspect.

The January 28 warrant, which was approved by a District Court judge, notes that the samples were needed to “make sure Mr. Garcia does not have any illness or disease that could harm” the victim, whose name TSG has redacted from court documents due to the nature of the incident.

When police arrived to investigate the January 25 incident at the Sunflower Farmers Market, they arrested Garcia after determining he was the subject of two outstanding warrants connected to a 2009 bust for criminal sexual contact with a minor. Garcia is pictured in the above mug shot.

According to a police report, the 28-year-old victim was shopping with her daughter in the store's cereal aisle when she was approached by Garcia, who worked in the store's dairy department. After accepting Garcia's offer of a yogurt sample, the woman immediately thought the sample tasted “gross and disgusting” and, cops reported, “said it tasted like ‘semen.'”

In a handwritten statement, the woman said, “I spit it out on the floor many times cuz I was upset.” The woman recalled that when she talked to manager Catherine Flores, “she told me was a Greek yoghurt. People love it has lot of protein on it.”

The woman paid for her groceries and returned home, where she told her boyfriend about the incident. She told of how Garcia had “just come with one sample just for me,” and that “he was so pushy to tell me how taste it.” The woman and her boyfriend eventually returned to the market, where they summoned police.

When questioned by cops, an “extremely nervous” Garcia denied putting bodily fluids in the yogurt container, which he admitted discarding in a trash compactor after the woman complained about the sample's taste.

An Albuquerque Police Department spokesperson said today that blood and DNA samples have been collected from the incarcerated Garcia, and that results from lab tests are expected later this week.

SOURCE: https://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents ... urt-sample

Comrade Pup this man has been slandered! He's merely an amateur genetic researcher seeking to combine the best traits of Mexican DNA with those of the superior culture lactobacillus. It's unfortunate that one of his experiments wound up in the hands of a hungry woman. I suggest that she is the one who should be arrested for setting genetic research back at least a day or two.

More confirmation on my stance of spitting/vs.....well, you know.

There is no question that this poor prole has been slandered, all for doing work one can hardly find an American (with the possible exception of the Chairman of course) willing to do, and just because there was perhaps some misunderstanding on the part of this obviously frustrated Tea Party radical who cannot appreciate the finer tastes of Greek yogurt, has led to this prole to be abused by the local law. Yes, there is much still to be done in building our Bridge to Tomorrow..... (Hmmmmm....I like the sound of that. Perhaps I will pass that on to the Obama to consider as a slogan.)

Comrades,

Although I understand how this unfortunate comrade has been maligned by the HATEFUL mean-spirtited racist Tea Party radical, I can't help but wonder if we shouldn't keep this case on the down low? Oh, already taken care of? Great!

Now maybe we should send a few bus loads of protesters to Albuquerque just in case?

Comrade Pupovich,

It's not a new thing for non-progressives to excoriate our Comrades for seminal accomplishments.




--Gorbels Cube

I got nothin...



just sayin...

I pity the prole should the Chairman ever discover that this undocumented voter has attempted to copy his secret sauce that he offered along with his fried rat on a stick without so much as passing on a percentage.

Comrade Whoopie is on to something. The title of this post is "We Need More "Undocumented" Workers". Could it be that this misguided Prole was distributing his DNA in order to create those Undocumented Workers? Comrades, if this is the case then it is proof positive that our glorious educational system is succeeding beyond our wildest expectations!

Comrade Whoopie wrote:...an amateur genetic researcher seeking to combine the best traits of Mexican DNA with those of the superior culture lactobacillus.

Superior you say? FYI, all cultures are equal!!! It's true whether it is Yogurt culture, Mexican culture, Kenyan culture, Renaissance, Greek, Sharia, LGBT, or Inside-the-Beltway culture!

If more people realized that, they wouldn't be spitting out what is good for them, but instead swallowed everything and be grateful for getting a taste of other equal cultures.

We must redouble our efforts in re-educating, agitating, propagandizing, and intimidating the masses into the unquestioning acceptance of multiculturalism.

The day people stop spitting out what we give them, will be known as the day when we have arrived at the Progressive World of Next Tuesday.

In fact, this little incident may have well been an empirical test of our societal progress, conducted in all major US cities. The fact that only in Albuquerque it caused such a bigoted rejection simply shows that in all other places it had been swallowed. We're almost there!

“said it tasted like ‘semen.'”
I am wondering if the bigger story here, would be revolving around this woman's personal knowledge of . . . . . . genetic material?

I am in agreement. How do we know this brave young undocumented scientist, was not trying to do good by exploring new ways of introducing proteins into America diets? This sounds like a Pres. Michelle program, does it not?!
Could not this protein be reproduced (no pun intended!) around the world to starving peoples? If this woman did not like being the brunt of spoofing involved in futuorial experimentation, then she should not have shopped and should not have tasted free foodery.
But, by her own personal admission, since she is familiar with said genetic product, what was the big deal?

Red Square wrote:

Comrade Whoopie wrote:...an amateur genetic researcher seeking to combine the best traits of Mexican DNA with those of the superior culture lactobacillus.

Superior you say? FYI, all cultures are equal!!!

I stand suitably admonished. I should have said most equal culture.

I will smash one of my toes with a ball-peen hammer as a reminder to be more politically correct.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:

Red Square wrote:

Comrade Whoopie wrote:...an amateur genetic researcher seeking to combine the best traits of Mexican DNA with those of the superior culture lactobacillus.

Superior you say? FYI, all cultures are equal!!!

I stand suitably admonished. I should have said most equal culture.

I will smash one of my toes with a ball-peen hammer as a reminder to be more politically correct.

Awe, comrade, let me do that for you! (SMASH! CRACK!) No need to thank me. Just a fellow comrade on the red road of livelihood!

Flat Freddie also agrees. We need to include the demands for FREE YOGURT distribution at all rallies and events, making it a key element in the struggle for peace and progress. (I see a large growth of membership in the near future).

Lenin 'n' Things wrote:More confirmation on my stance of spitting/vs.....well, you know.

Lenin's biographers never wrote this page in the story of Lenin's glorious life. Perhaps it's due to the fact that in the last 86 years he's been somewhat stiffer than others and I assume also tasted and smelled differently from many other comrades. But what do I know? In Obama's words, let's not rush to judgment.

Comrades, it is quite refreshing to see the doctrinal education that I see in this blog. I am especially for our Glorious Red Square's observation on all cultures's being equal....and perhaps even tasting alike (though I would not know of course as I prefer the even rarer caviar harvested from baby seals...it takes quite a few to produce a serving as you might imagine, over yogurt).

However, I am a bit perplexed as to why Party Housekeeping has yet to show up....

Clean up on aisle.... What's the number of that aisle Senor Garcia?

Comrades,

Should this event be called Multiculturasm in stead of ism?

Is it ok to refer to these new arrivals as "Comrades Without Papers" [CWP]?

I will tow the party line, as soon as I know what it is.

May I introduce a brand new product I hand in mind?
It's called The People's Yogurt!™

The slogan will be "For every Yogurt of The Revolution (The People's Yogurt!™) you eat, a yankee dies."

Ingredients: Courage™, Sacrifice™, Nerve™ and... aaassssuuucarrrrrr!!!

(100% sulfur free)

And here a promotional picture.

The Peoples Labs have identified one of the ingredients in Comrade Katpain Moskovskaya's People's Yogurt!™.

A barely audible sound was picked up also and amplified it said;" Theocritus, I still love you. Will you be my Valentine Pleeaase?".

She looks familiar. Anyone have any ideas on this?

Great Stalin's Ghost!

The Gawdawfulo is now a sperm? We are blessed comrades, this thing will reproduce!

Hail Obama!

Grigori, after studying Katpain's specimen, I finally realized where I've seen that sneery, constipated look before:

Just when i was starting to let go of the pain of losing our dear Mime...i see his beautiful face and i'm torn asunder once more.....

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Grigori, after studying Katpain's specimen, I finally realized where I've seen that sneery, constipated look before:

Commissarka! I was wondering when you would show up. After all, if this thread is not in need of the People's Housekeeping, what is? Er....you are still taking care of Housekeeping while our comrade up north is not up to it?

I don't do the housekeeping, Pupovich. I whack unruly comrades with my shovel, and raise awareness of how much I care.

And I happen to care a lot about whacking others with my shovel.

Comrades Comrades, why do you are accuse Garcia? This valuable agent has MORE than proved his worth as fearless propagandist of the deed in CULTURE WAR. He was merely mixed-up as the KGB had told him his assignment was to radicalize the contradictions of a nearby sperm-bank, and due to fatigue from attending late-night self-criticism session, poor comrade was in wrong place at wrong time. Which, dialectically stated, would mean RIGHT place at right time! No single prole infiltrator has come to grips with the need to infuse yogurt with truly revolutionary cells as he has. All of our hidden revolutionary cells must emulate brave Comrade Garcia as we hasten the coming of the [highlight=#000000][highlight=#ffffff]People's Triumph ™[/highlight][/highlight] and the inevitable One World Multi-Kulti Globally Diverse Sustainable Cooperative Socialist Earth-friendly Dictatorship of Cashless Pro-Gaia Proletariat. Let us open many new fronts in the cultural struggle!

Red Square wrote:

Lenin 'n' Things wrote:More confirmation on my stance of spitting/vs.....well, you know.

Lenin's biographers never wrote this page in the story of Lenin's glorious life. Perhaps it's due to the fact that in the last 86 years he's been somewhat stiffer than others and I assume also tasted and smelled differently from many other comrades. But what do I know? In Obama's words, let's not rush to judgment.

Dry_Yogurt_Culture.jpg

Eeeewwwww!!!

Natasha Grupthinkski wrote:Comrades Comrades, why do you are accuse Garcia? This valuable agent has MORE than proved his worth as fearless propagandist of the deed in CULTURE WAR. He was merely mixed-up as the KGB had told him his assignment was to radicalize the contradictions of a nearby sperm-bank, and due to fatigue from attending late-night self-criticism session, poor comrade was in wrong place at wrong time. Which, dialectically stated, would mean RIGHT place at right time! No single prole infiltrator has come to grips with the need to infuse yogurt with truly revolutionary cells as he has. All of our hidden revolutionary cells must emulate brave Comrade Garcia as we hasten the coming of the [highlight=#000000][highlight=#ffffff]People's Triumph ™[/highlight][/highlight] and the inevitable One World Multi-Kulti Globally Diverse Sustainable Cooperative Socialist Earth-friendly Dictatorship of Cashless Pro-Gaia Proletariat. Let us open many new fronts in the cultural struggle!

Ah... the People's Spirit is strong with this one... WE ARE WATCHING YOU!!!!

He may commercialize it as People's Yogurt! Here is People's Drink(TM) for your reference.

https://www.aolnews.com/2011/02/25/stal ... rgy-drink/

Natasha Grupthinkski wrote:....No single prole infiltrator has come to grips with the need to infuse yogurt with truly revolutionary cells as he has. All of our hidden revolutionary cells must emulate brave Comrade Garcia as we hasten the coming of the [highlight=#000000][highlight=#ffffff]People's Triumph ™[/highlight][/highlight] and the inevitable One World Multi-Kulti Globally Diverse Sustainable Cooperative Socialist Earth-friendly Dictatorship of Cashless Pro-Gaia Proletariat. Let us open many new fronts in the cultural struggle!

While it is true enough that no prole has ever achieved this level of revolutionary emissions so to speak....clearly you have never met Chairman Punchenko yet. His exploits would put this prole to shame.