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Who really hacked the U.S. elections

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[img]/images/Santa_Hacking_DNC_Server_WikiLeaks.jpg[/img]

The FBI was able to track the DNC hack to an IP address located somewhere close to the North Pole, but sources close to the investigation said the trail had grown cold.

"As soon as special agents were close to apprehending the suspect, they unexpectedly left the area," one source confirmed. "They suddenly grew very eager to spend Christmas vacations with their families."

All we know about the "North Pole Hacker" at this time is that he has an uncanny ability to monitor even the most secret communications in order to compile his annual "naughty or nice" list, which he then cross-references - twice - with corroborative data from other sources.

"The suspect, who goes by the initials SC, usually keeps his list to himself," the FBI source said, "but this was an unprecedented year in many ways." It appears that this year the North Pole Hacker broke with his tradition and posted his "naughty or nice" findings on WikiLeaks, allegedly "so that Americans can get a good president for Christmas."

We will keep you informed as this case develops.

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Fhalkyn wrote:Is it the geographical or magnetic North Pole?

The Revolutionary North Pole. It's located in Antarctica. Co-ords 78°27′50″S 106°50′15″E

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Comrade Stierlitz wrote:
Fhalkyn wrote:Is it the geographical or magnetic North Pole?

The Revolutionary North Pole. It's located in Antarctica. Co-ords 78°27′50″S 106°50′15″E

Not to fear, then. According to Settled Science,™ soon there will be no ice in Antarctica, and the hacker will be without a site for his hacking.

Query: If the Revolutionary North Pole is at the South Pole, will the polar bears or the penguins be made extinct by global warming climate change extreme climate there?

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Red Square wrote:"The suspect, who goes by the initials SC, usually keeps his list to himself," the FBI source said, "but this was an unprecedented year in many ways." It appears that this year the North Pole Hacker broke with his tradition and posted his "naughty or nice" findings on WikiLeaks

Where do I go to get a copy of his list of naughty girls?

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The elves did it. SC is innocent. The FBI needs a better source. A lump of coal for Comey this year. Two lumps for Her Royal Highness.

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Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:... Where do I go to get a copy of his list of naughty girls?
Just one word, Comrade Mikhail (you listening, da?) : Russhyan khackyers.


Wait just a minute here! I thought all poles were equal

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Comrade Makarov wrote:I thought all poles were equal
Not anymore. Not since Poland split from the Eastern Bloc and restored capitalism where man oppresses man. Oh the good old days when it was the other way around!

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Red Square wrote:
Comrade Makarov wrote:I thought all poles were equal
Not anymore. Not since Poland split from the Eastern Bloc and restored capitalism where man oppresses man. Oh the good old days when it was the other way around!

USSR was not efficient enough for Poland. Poles are VERY efficient. Their funerals only need 3 people: the official and 2 pallbearers. And why only 2? Because it only takes two men to carry a garbage can.

They are also masters of Soviet-system agriculture. A few Poles decided to start a chicken farm. They got the load of chickens in and planted them head first. The chickens died. So then, they tried planting them the other way. The same thing happened. So they phoned up the Ministry of Agriculture and talked for about 15-20 minutes. The Ministry was so influenced by the Glorious Soviet model, they asked the farmers to send a soil sample!

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Red Square wrote:
Comrade Makarov wrote:I thought all poles were equal
Not anymore. Not since Poland split from the Eastern Bloc and restored capitalism ...
Comrade Makarov & Comrade Red Square ‒ it all boils down to evil AmeriKKKa, plain & simple.




 
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