This tribute to the legislative magic of Chief Defender of The Collective's Health Maintenance, John Roberts, was posted three years ago. But now that The Lawgiver has once again shown the power of his judicial re-write pen ......



The Supremo Chief came over
And he said "You're mostly right"
He said for a nominal compromise
You can win this Commerce Clause fight
If I was ready willing and able
To say a fine's a tax
He would curb expansion via Commerce Clause
But ACA won't get the ax

But I said, "Look here, Roberts"
Who you jivin' with this SCOTUS decree
Now who you jivin' with this SCOTUS decree
Look here Roberts
Don't you foist this tax on me

The Supremo Chief got nervous
Said, "Court's legacy I must defend"
So he reached in the pocket of his judicial robe
And pulled out his writing pen
Now I thought he'd just interpret
On Commerce's bounds he'd rule
But he told me right there as he flipped off the cap
There was nothing his pen couldn't do
With a disdain for jurisprudence
And a smooch to Obam's wazoo
He said "You might not believe this, little wingnut"
I've made a tax by judicial review

And I said, "Look Judge Roberts"
Who you jivin' with this SCOTUS decree
(Now what kind of Justice are you anyway)
Look John Roberts
Don't you foist this tax on me
Don't foist this tax .....

"But there's new troubles you have sown", I said
They'll tax to the nth degree
Can they make legislations with tax implications
Make me buy up brocoli
But I got the rewrite pen he said
And he held it to the light
But I snatched it all away from him
And I showed him how to do it right

(Break to rapid up tempo narration)

I'd look at the plain text of the law
And see that it's a penalty
Then I'd look at the Commerce Clause
Ask "Does it allow this decree"
Can "Commerce" mean "Compelled to buy"
Is that interpretation unsound
Is this what Framers had in mind
If not, the Mandate goes down
Wouldn't give a damn about my legacy
Cause of some damn thing Obama said
I said "He ain't the last word on that anyway"
In TEN DAYS, his own will be dead*

Look here Roberts
Who you jivin' with this SCOTUS decree
Now is that an Art I levy or Supreme levy
(WA wa waa wa wa wa waa)
Don't You know,
You caused more chaos than a bomb throwing anarchist
So don't you foist that tax on me
Don't foist it
Don't foist that tax on me

*(May have to do a "rewrite" myself, concerning that line)
(URGENT UPDATE -- I finally figured out how to rewrite that line -- wait four and a half years and it will rewrite itself)

AUUUUGH!!! Where are the party bosses? This person has been reading verbotten literature and appears quite adept in its tenets. To the Gulags!!!




O course you'll forgive if I sell you down the river, but I still must cover my own rear end here too. Excellent job. You may well have just written the most intelligent lyric in the archive. Pardon me if I make this look good.




GUARDS!!!! GUARDS!!!!!

I called for guards earlier but no one came. I believe they were sent to take pot shots at tea party rally in Caldonia..

but this ended yesterday...

We might have problem...

Bumped due to well-founded concerns about renewed relevancy