Can the Republicans beat the progressives at their own game?
Having successfully shed the burden of conservative values, the Republican National Committee has retooled and is now launching a new ad campaign to let the American people know that Democrats aren't the only party of empty slogans and slick marketing techniques. We offer you a sneak preview of the new RNC stickers, print ads, and promotional items you will be seeing a lot in the coming months.
~ Why repair the damaged national brand with conservatism when you can cheaply spray-paint it with liberalism and gain power by out-Democrating the Democrats?
REPUBLICANS: NOW OUT-DEMOCRATING THE DEMOCRATS
Being conservative is just too hard. It requires discipline, focus, and the ability to articulate complex issues to the masses. Why bother if it's much easier to promise everyone a free lunch?
FREE LUNCH: THE NEW AMERICAN WAY
Support Our Candidate! Buy The McCain-Fingers-Crossed T-Shirt
This shirt can mean two things:
What McCain does behind his back when he says he's a lifelong conservative and promises to secure the borders.
What you do behind your back when you vote for McCain and hope he'll appoint strict constructionist judges.
Got to hand it to the rethuglican's, their chicks are indeed hotter... but then they always have been. But what of their toasters? Are they hotter as well?
That is the one thing of comfort this election cycle, a progressive will win regardless of alleged party affiliation, it is only a matter of degree of socialist spinelessness.
Where can I get a poster sized print of that RINO displaying the new Contract with America? Although I think it is missing something. Let me think, oh yeah, All animals are created equal, but some animals are more equal than others. Yeah, that's it.
Thank you, Commissar Pupovich for pointing out the proper tools for work on the Collective farm.
I still remember my labors in the fields, digging potatos and beets for the good of the Party, the Common Good and the Children. It was most gratifying to be given a small beet and maybe a potato too, for our (sometimes) daily meal. Sometimes, the others and myself in our hut, would be given a small cabbage to celebrate a successful harvest. Praise be onto Lenin!!
Just think how much more the laborers could get done on the farm if they didn't have to sneak off to the Party brothel or the barn.
Shovel and a hoe.... all that is needed for pure Party bliss.
Drop the S and you're probably right.
I was going to suggest dropping the "e." I think Pinkie would agree.
You're right, drop the S and the e and I do believe this would constitute pure Party bliss for some of the male comrades.....But Pinkie is not this sort of HO.
I dare say that as far as I am concerned, the end of my relationship with the Republican party. This is indeed the old east coast republican party reasserting themselves, with a touch of liberal green poison pill thrown in, and riding the McCain express. Now I can only hope one of the growing conservative third parties grow... that or pray for a true revolution.
Conservatives are fighting two battles, one against the Dems and the left, the other is for control of the Republican Party. Switching to another much weaker army just because the internal battle isn’t going our way at the moment isn’t a sound strategy. IMHO
Conservatives are fighting two battles, one against the Dems and the left, the other is for control of the Republican Party. Switching to another much weaker army just because the internal battle isn’t going our way at the moment isn’t a sound strategy. IMHO
Exactly. Bringing the Republican party back to true conservatism is the way to go,imo. Third parties just aren't viable at this point.
But then again, that much smaller party will never grow if we keep saying now is not the time. When would there ever be such a time? I say the time is now to start growing another conservative party, There will not likely be a better time than now, and when I say now, regardless of what happens in November, we can safely know we have at least EIGHT years to grow. For in 2012, we will again be faced with either a liberal democrat being elected or a liberal republican incumbent. The only feasible way I can see that a conservative can get the presidency at this point is if McCain chooses a conservative for vice president, wins the election, and then dies in office, If the Republican Leadership Council is correct, we will have much longer. It is not unlike the ANWR argument. Had it not been blocked ten years ago when it first passed the Congress, we would be getting that oil NOW instead of hearing the repeated refrains of "even if we passed it, it would take 10 years for the oil to come on line."
But then again, that much smaller party will never grow if we keep saying now is not the time. When would there ever be such a time? I say the time is now to start growing another conservative party, There will not likely be a better time than now, and when I say now, regardless of what happens in November, we can safely know we have at least EIGHT years to grow. For in 2012, we will again be faced with either a liberal democrat being elected or a liberal republican incumbent. The only feasible way I can see that a conservative can get the presidency at this point is if McCain chooses a conservative for vice president, wins the election, and then dies in office, If the Republican Leadership Council is correct, we will have much longer. It is not unlike the ANWR argument. Had it not been blocked ten years ago when it first passed the Congress, we would be getting that oil NOW instead of hearing the repeated refrains of "even if we passed it, it would take 10 years for the oil to come on line."
Cone of Silence......
Alright,I know that you will think me a defeatist for writing this,but I don't believe that a third party will manifest itself in our time. I think we will be long dead before this finally happens....obviously I could be wrong,and I defer to your much more
considerable knowledge of politics.... it just seems that every election cycle I hear the same thing about alternative parties,but they never transpire. And yes, I admit that I am a hypocrite for bemoaning the fact,because I don't do anything personally to achieve this. I guess I am disenchanted w/ politics the more I learn about politics. Naughty.
Well, I, too must weigh in with my own ideas on this: L'nT, politics is the filthiest business on the earth. I used to report on some low-level politicos while working for a small-town daily 20 years ago. I am not in the least surprised to see what's going on, though I am disappointed.
I've seen fine, upstanding men and women -- people I knew personally -- become elitist and condescending towards not only me, but their constituents as well, in less than 18 months. Saw it with my own eyes.
Worse, what happens to a society when the concepts of guilt and shame no longer seem to exist? Politicians have always been a step above used-car salesmen, but back in the proverbial day, they at least purported to have a sense of honor -- for a short time while in office, at least.
Now, they consider themselves the new nobility; they don't need political parties. The middle class is an affront to them, and I believe they wouldn't be the least disturbed if it disappeared (which it seems to be doing as we speak).
I call it the unifying theory of all the ruling-class lunacy that is getting more brazen by the day. Think of the examples:
Illegal immigration -- the will of the people is ignored.
Drilling and refining oil -- the will of the people is ignored.
The right to self-defense -- ditto
Globalism and national sovereignty -- the march continues apace as we are studiously ignored.
But, back to shame and guilt. I believe the lack of that to be the crux of all we're facing. We've become a nation where "every man for himself" is the order of the day. From the freeway to the office, and even at home, I've heard and witnessed things that make me more than a little uneasy about the future.
There are no moral absolutes, anymore.
And, it doesn't matter whether these absolutes come from an organized religion, or a well-developed (and Western Civ-based) spirituality. It's what we're missing and it's what will cause us to spiral into anarchy if those concepts don't make at least a nominal re-appearance in the "blue" enclaves.
I used to report on some low-level politicos while working for a small-town daily 20 years ago.
It amazes me how often I find people here who have had similar experiences; I've met one member of the collective who was raised just a few miles from me (and we're both the same age) and now I find another member who was working in a small town paper 20 years ago. I worked for a little vest pocket newspaper publisher as Wire editor and comp room supervisor 21 years ago. We published two small town dailies and three weeklies.
Lenin n Thingies (can you hear me, or do I need to get a bigger shoe?): you too can add stunning graphics like the cone of silence to your posts. Simply click the "edit" button and when you get to the edit screen, click on the clip art button for a variety of selections.
Small world, no? Perhaps we could publish the party organ ourselves...
Are you suggesting a coup, comrade? (Betinov turns to the portrait of Red Square...you know, the one with that odd little dark spot on the frame) BECAUSE I WILL HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY ATTEMPT TO DISLODGE THE STATUS QUO (Betinov turns and speaks into the flower vase) NOTHING WHATSOEVER (begins scribbling furiously on a pad of paper: "want seat on Politburo, new Dacha, body to go with brain...") WILL I HAVE TO DO WITH ANY ATTEMPT AT COUP.
Are you suggesting a coup, comrade? (Betinov turns to the portrait of Red Square...you know, the one with that odd little dark spot on the frame) BECAUSE I WILL HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY ATTEMPT TO DISLODGE THE STATUS QUO (Betinov turns and speaks into the flower vase) NOTHING WHATSOEVER (begins scribbling furiously on a pad of paper: "want seat on Politburo, new Dacha, body to go with brain...") WILL I HAVE TO DO WITH ANY ATTEMPT AT COUP.
LENIN FORBID, COMRADE!(to the picture)... THE PARTY IS ALL!(speaking into a rivet on new titanium shovel) WE WILL FAITHFULLY REPORT ALL TRUTH AS IT CHANGES AND FAITHFULLY DEPOSIT FALSE TRUTH IN MEMORY HOLE! (writing "done" on pad after reading -- adding "I want potato vodka, not this awful grain stuff").
Both graphic ideas and execution were the work of Commissar Maxim, who is up for promotion in the Politburo. He has also been nominated for an additional sack of beets for this winter and a non-expiring vodka rationing coupon.
The latter also makes him an official candidate to get to the top of the list in Commisarka Pinkie's romantic diary.
John McCain is a great man and a war hero. John McCain is going to save the evironment by enacting an eco-friendly agenda with the help of Congressional Democrats. John McCain wants to reach across the aisle and work with the Democrats to make our country better. John McCain is not old. John McCain can do 1,150 pushups with one hand.
(Yes! All I need now is thirty more points for the much coveted John McCain sweater vest and matching tote bag!)
Thank you for the kind words and awards, the beets and vodka are greatly appreciated and sorely needed. Of course I only contribute my Lenin given skills for The Party, The Common Good and The Children.
I spoke to my mother about the bumper sticker; she was very excited but asked when will she be issued a car to stick it on. I told her she’d need to wait till Obama or McCain are sworn in and Bushilter is removed from office.
If I’m on the top of the list in Commisarka Pinkie's romantic diary, must I wear a red hat?
Here's a nice anti-McCain video from Mother Jones. They meant to make it sound negative, but for a lot of people it may actually help to make a choice for McCain. I'd say Mother Jones's zeal was quite foolish. If their goal was to attract votes, they've achieve the opposite. Once again, the Democrats are spending money on self-defeating mud slinging so that McCain won't have to.
Betinov, I will overlook your single-word post which is obviously a direct attack on the Obamessiah (he had a single mom).
That aside, a comrade like you with your personality and your brain doesn't need a hat to get the kind of girls you deserve.
A girl who really cares about you isn't interested in a hat--she's more interested in what's beneath it--or in your case, under your jar lid.
Any girl that would turn you down simply because you don't have a hat isn't worthy of you.
"It's what's on the inside that counts!" is what my mother always said. And what I see inside you, in addition to your brains, is some very fine vodka.
In fact, under the Cube collection of available clip art, I think I found just such a girl for you:
Wait a minute...I had a single mom too. With the exception (possibly) of some of Dr. Gno's laboratory mistakes, doesn't everyone come from a single mom?
As to your relationship advice, can I just take the bombs instead?
Internal Memo: Purge Alert
Indiana Jones Denounced
"Indiana Jonesand the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" must be banned from Mother Russia for it's anti-soviet proganda and crudeness. The villain is a a fellow comrade KGB agent. Harrison Ford is a running dog of the reactionary forces of the CIA. The KKKapitalist film is mischaracterizes the progressive Soviet union and distorts the role of the KGB in history.
Da. They got it right. Is worrisome problem. Are thought police on prowl for believers of IJ CS? Once found the miscreants must be taken by the boatload, scratch that thinking of Cubans and Haitians, by the truck load to nearest saltpeter mines and given opportunity to get head straight.
Former GOP has no problems. Head stuck in sand and ears covered by hands on both sides allow for error free thinking.
The great proletariat that once was the Conservative Branch of the former GOP has been swept aside by the winds of change (One hopes these are not methane winds) and is now headed for Glorious unification with the only true Workers party.
Get out the Shovels and arm the brigades there is work ahead for those with the wrong thought patterns.
"It's what's on the inside that counts!" is what my mother always said. And what I see inside you, in addition to your brains, is some very fine vodka.
I've been lingering around for quite some time, just look at the rank that I gave myself. Your behavior lately seems somewhat suspect. Perhaps you need a vacation, I hear Yakutsk is nice this time of year. I have a ticket waiting for you at any train depot connecting to Moscow. Who am I foolin, they all connect to Moscow.
Well, anyway dress warm.
What is wrong with Irkutsk Oblast? We need the labor help there. Soon with Global Warming caused by Amerikan Imperialist running dogs and lackey's there of this will be a glorious sunny workers paradise with shovels for all and plenty of tundra to dig in. In Moscow can you still buy Yugo?
At present rate of Party disintegration (GOP) there will soon be only one Party, One Poster, One thought and one Person voting. Archaic words with revisionist overtones such as Conservative will either disappear or end up being read in Dictionary under 'olde' English, meaning unknown. In Glorious tradition of 'getting along' (Old term from LA used to describe results of application of Police Batons) we will sign Kyoto Treaty, surrender up sovereignty and become 'one' with the 'world'. We will march hand in pocket hand together and work toward the common good of the Party leaders. We will open borders and allow all to enter, after all we will be one world. (Can you say In Sha Allah?) War troubles in Iraq and Afghanistan will soon cease as we will not be there. if we are not there there are no troubles. All is simplicity as espoused by Wonderful Dummycrat Party which will be leading party of Grand Socialist (Screaming Liberal) dream and effort.
There is some doubt at this point as to Party leadership but perhaps the call by the AHE for an assassination may work out. This may be better than the suicide the GOP is committing as the suicide seems to be a lingering death.
Power to the troddendown and real Black Helicopters over New York. (Plan is working, have courage party members)
And how did someone get that picture of me! I thought I saw a flash through the window! (Just don't tell anyone that I smoke cigars!) Yes, some of us have infiltrated the GOP and it seems our RINO cover has been blown! Anything for The Party, dahlinks, anything for The Party!
It is truly amazing what a simple change of bottle can do for one. Just a short time ago I was being offered up to the Boobtists as a sacrifice. Now I'm being flattered by Natasha. Thanks, Mikhail!
It's all about image, comrade. My father used to tell me "a man's not well dressed if his shoes are a mess." (In this case, you may substitute "jar" for "shoes")
Well, I, too must weigh in with my own ideas on this: L'nT, politics is the filthiest business on the earth. I used to report on some low-level politicos while working for a small-town daily 20 years ago. I am not in the least surprised to see what's going on, though I am disappointed.
I've seen fine, upstanding men and women -- people I knew personally -- become elitist and condescending towards not only me, but their constituents as well, in less than 18 months. Saw it with my own eyes.
Worse, what happens to a society when the concepts of guilt and shame no longer seem to exist? Politicians have always been a step above used-car salesmen, but back in the proverbial day, they at least purported to have a sense of honor -- for a short time while in office, at least.
Now, they consider themselves the new nobility; they don't need political parties. The middle class is an affront to them, and I believe they wouldn't be the least disturbed if it disappeared (which it seems to be doing as we speak).
I call it the unifying theory of all the ruling-class lunacy that is getting more brazen by the day. Think of the examples:
Illegal immigration -- the will of the people is ignored.
Drilling and refining oil -- the will of the people is ignored.
The right to self-defense -- ditto
Globalism and national sovereignty -- the march continues apace as we are studiously ignored.
But, back to shame and guilt. I believe the lack of that to be the crux of all we're facing. We've become a nation where "every man for himself" is the order of the day. From the freeway to the office, and even at home, I've heard and witnessed things that make me more than a little uneasy about the future.
There are no moral absolutes, anymore.
And, it doesn't matter whether these absolutes come from an organized religion, or a well-developed (and Western Civ-based) spirituality. It's what we're missing and it's what will cause us to spiral into anarchy if those concepts don't make at least a nominal re-appearance in the "blue" enclaves.
Sure would be nice if I were wrong, though.
It would be nice,but you are not wrong.Almost every generation fears that what it sees in contemporary society is the total break-down of normative mores. But this time I do believe this fear is justified. There are no moral absolutes,and that is exactly what the so-called progressive agenda has been working toward. They have been very successful in pushing their ideology.
I have heard stories from my friend's teen-aged children that would make the Devil blush. Things that they have seen or heard about in school, etc...
It's a brave new world. And we, who do not subcribe to the brave new philosophy of the progressive movement,are not welcome in this gloriously brave and wonderful new world.
What did I tell you, Betinov? Dress yourself up in a shiny, pretty new bottle, and now you've got all these gurls oohing and ahhing and swooning over you as if you were an empty suit blathering about Hope and Change and Yes We Can.
Just so you don't forget that Pinkie's the only one who can see past those imported fancy designer labels. Pinkie doesn't care what you look like on the outside.
SUSAN SARANDON, who appeared in three films last year and won kudos for her TV movie "Bernard and Doris," is still not a contented soul. She says if John McCain gets elected, she will move to Italy or Canada. She adds, "It's a critical time, but I have faith in the American people."
Susan Sarandon has faith in the American people? And so does the Party and the Politburo, believing that the American people have finally been turned into dupes who will vote for Obama. And Susan Sarandon has nothing to do with this! Generations of Party loyalists, overtly or covertly, have been working for this day, so don't screw it up, Susan, with your big mouth! Nobody will miss you because nobody cares, so why don't you make yourself useful and iron Chairman Punchenko's shirt?
Sydney Pollack was a much more useful idiot than you and your Mr. Sarandon will ever be, having launched Robert Redford to stardom and making many movies with him, including Three Days of the Condor (1975)- my personal favorite conspiracy theory accusing American government of killing everybody around them for oil. That's PROPAGANDA, comrades! But his crown achievement, of course, was They Shoot Horses, Don't They? (1969) with Jane Fonda, depicting the repulsive soulless nature of American capitalism, for which he received the Moscow Film Festival's Special Jury Prize for best visual agitation and loyalty to communist ideals.
We honor the fallen heroes like Pollack with 47 AK salute. And we see him in the audience as we speak. May he forever vote Democrat!
This is what those neo-cons have come too, a bunch of quivering sacks of goo. Bravo comrades! Our progress for Supreme Party Greatness of Amerika is soon at hand.
These woman are perfect examples of capitalist filth. Of course, as an "elite" of our party we all can enjoy these things, the people cannot, sort of like the health care plan we have.
But then again, that much smaller party will never grow if we keep saying now is not the time. When would there ever be such a time? I say the time is now to start growing another conservative party, There will not likely be a better time than now, and when I say now, regardless of what happens in November, we can safely know we have at least EIGHT years to grow. For in 2012, we will again be faced with either a liberal democrat being elected or a liberal republican incumbent. The only feasible way I can see that a conservative can get the presidency at this point is if McCain chooses a conservative for vice president, wins the election, and then dies in office, If the Republican Leadership Council is correct, we will have much longer. It is not unlike the ANWR argument. Had it not been blocked ten years ago when it first passed the Congress, we would be getting that oil NOW instead of hearing the repeated refrains of "even if we passed it, it would take 10 years for the oil to come on line."
You say, "The only feasible way I can see that a conservative can get thepresidency at this point is if McCain chooses a conservative for vicepresident, wins the election, and then dies in office". There is another way - a much simpler and proven way. Choose a large state with confusing election laws, disenfranchise voters, and have the conservative activist judges on the Supreme Court annoint another Republican. It's a lot cheaper to steal an election than win one. That would be our great leader Stalin's solution.
Actually, he'd just kill the opposition and annoint himself. THAT would be cheaper...and more effective.
You say, "The only feasible way I can see that a conservative can get thepresidency at this point is if McCain chooses a conservative for vicepresident, wins the election, and then dies in office".
Excellent suggestion. A fast acting cancer for Son of Cain, around Easter, and Mizz Palin becomes Madame Presidentess. She wouldn't be anymore conservative than Henry Kissinger, but she is much easier on the eye and ear.
___________
Republicans are in great need of constructionist re-education--
“... I view great cities as pestilential to the morals, the health and the liberties of man.”
“ I am for a government rigorously frugal and simple ...
I am for free commerce with all nations; political connection with none; and little or no diplomatic establishment.”
“ The true theory of our Constitution is surely the wisest and best, that the States are independent as to everything within themselves, and united as to everything respecting foreign nations. Let the General Government be reduced to foreign concerns only, and let our affairs be disentangled from those of all other nations, ...”
But then again, that much smaller party will never grow if we keep saying now is not the time. When would there ever be such a time? I say the time is now to start growing another conservative party, There will not likely be a better time than now, and when I say now, regardless of what happens in November, we can safely know we have at least EIGHT years to grow. For in 2012, we will again be faced with either a liberal democrat being elected or a liberal republican incumbent. The only feasible way I can see that a conservative can get the presidency at this point is if McCain chooses a conservative for vice president, wins the election, and then dies in office, If the Republican Leadership Council is correct, we will have much longer. It is not unlike the ANWR argument. Had it not been blocked ten years ago when it first passed the Congress, we would be getting that oil NOW instead of hearing the repeated refrains of "even if we passed it, it would take 10 years for the oil to come on line."
You say, "The only feasible way I can see that a conservative can get thepresidency at this point is if McCain chooses a conservative for vicepresident, wins the election, and then dies in office". There is another way - a much simpler and proven way. Choose a large state with confusing election laws, disenfranchise voters, and have the conservative activist judges on the Supreme Court annoint another Republican. It's a lot cheaper to steal an election than win one. That would be our great leader Stalin's solution.
Actually, he'd just kill the opposition and annoint himself. THAT would be cheaper...and more effective.
Let it go,Jafvo....you will end up a bitter old bitch,yelling to your young neighbors about Boooosh steeeealing the election. They'll laugh and point and say"There she goes again...the demented,bitter one who can't get over the reality that her party lost an election...poor thing"
Or is this your present state?.......Leave the neighbors alone,Jafvo.
The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans
of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent,
by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant
pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other -
until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's
official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand
Write down this number and report to your Kommissar at the nearest railroad station.
Don't forget warm clothes and a shovel!
NY Times, Newsweek offer editorial inoculations to concerned readers of Sarah Palin's book
Going Rogue: FEMA braces for massive outbreaks of Palin Derangement Syndrome
Following Fort Hood tragedy, Obama declares all military bases gun-free zones
Pelosi: we won.
Philies: so did we
Study: Global Warming linked to consumption of beans and beef patties
Pro-Obama gamers discover 'cheat codes' in U.S. Constitution
Police trained in using end of life counselingtechniques to negotiate suicide threats
Obama commits more troops to War on Fox News, still awaiting Afghan troop surge
Pass Rush: NFL okays Fidel Castro's bid to buy Miami Dolphins
Study: the road to hell paved with Nobel Peace Prizes
Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize. Wishing all our readers a Happy April First!
Roman Polanski named new School Safety Czar in wake of Jennings scandal
Charles Manson: 'Leave Polanski alone, hasn't he suffered enough?'
Obama loses Olympic bid, will try for Special Olympics next
Carter: if the IOC doesn't give the Olympics to Chicago, they're racists
Saudis: the word 'assassina- tion' will never be the same
Al Qaeda: 'We shove bombs up our butts'
Richard Gere denies Al Qaeda membership
Experts: assassin hid bomb in anal cavity adjacent to brain
Study: 90% of G20 protestors driven to Pittsburgh by mom
Ahmadinejad: Iran needs enriched uranium to purchase large IKEA sofa
Obama: If we don't bomb Iran now, we'll never pass healthcare reform
Taliban hires DC lobbyist in effort to get Obama's attention
Missile defense: Czechs angry at Obama for being canceled
Media study: Caucasian toddlers are more likely to cut eye-holes into "blankies"
Democrat strategist: 9 out of 10 white infants prefer cross burning over mother's milk
Mahmoud’s Liquidation Warehouse: 50% off Israel - this weekend only - it won’t last long
Obama: Black kids still forced to beat people up at back
of bus
Charlie Gibson: Neil Armstrong went where?
Obamacare, it’s finger-licking good!
Ben and Jerry release 'Hate Monger Bigot' flavor to celebrate those who support traditional marriage
'Shiver me Timbers!': Somalia unveils People's Institute for Redistribution, Adventurism & Thalassic Extortion (PIRATE)
Energy Czar: to save energy, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off
Other 49 states impose carbon tax on California due to wildfire smoke
Following Scotland's lead, US Justice Dept releases Charles Manson, citing battle with chronic hemorrhoids
Obama to media: Please respect our girls' privacy, especially Mr. Letterman
Teachable moment: Obama to hold 'beer summit' between offended Post Office and UPS
Taliban sends protesters to Afghan town hall meetings in attempt to get Obama administration to withdraw Gotham villains working for the Common Good™
White House recalibrates description of town hall protesters from 'terrorists' to 'man-made Nazi fascist pigs'
Experts: when buying Astroturf, remember to look for the Union LabelNational-socialist health care?
Drudge insulates self from White House anger by naming his site MoveOn.Drudge
ABC greenlights epic 12-part miniseries based on Beer Summit
Moveon.org petitions Dems to leave Bush/Cheney alone and 'move on to pressing issues facing the nation'
Palin: Critics ipso facto are quitters
Honduran ex-president Zelaya holds press- conference, presents birth certificate for examination
Cambridge: fighting racial bias, Obama picks black scholar Henry Louis Gates as Door Jigging Czar
Obama: white cop acted like inexperienced rookie, but being one I may be biased
On the international front: Obama brings back Cold War, switches sides
Signs of recovery: WH study finds number of searches for 'economic depression' on Google lower than it could have been under FDR
Obama inherited broken teleprompter from George W Bush
Zelaya: we support the democratically-elected President of the USA, even though he has strongly opposed American policies
Eco group 'Earth First' protests burying non- biodegradeable body of Michael Jackson under the ground
Study: Media orgasm over Michael Jackson's death oddly appropriate
SPONSORED BY:
Secretary of the Interior vows to turn Neverland Ranch into 'King of Pop' National Monument
Riots in Iran: Obama invokes Starfleet Prime Directive - non-interference with social development of native planet even at the cost of own life
Obama hurts a fly, forgets to read Miranda rights
ACLU: fly murder by slapping unconstitutional
Obama mistakes Inspector General for a private CEO, orders him to resign
DHS simplifies procedures, cuts learning curve, renames all terrorism 'right-wing'
Earth may collide with Venus in 3.5 billion years. We must act NOW!!!
CBS study: statutory rape jokes not as hilarious as previously thought
White House tree commits suicide over economic policy
Obama: 'I inherited this tree from George W. Bush'
Obama to economy: 'make like a tree and collapse'
In Cairo, Obama promotes shovel-ready projects for Muslim communities
Obama's comment linking Islam to algebra sets off anti-Islam riots in US inner-city schools
Keith Olbermann rises to #1 on Larry Craig's 'Top ten liberals I'd like to sodomize' list
Ahmadinejad hands out potatoes to corner Irish-Iranian vote
Lady Justice undergoes extreme makeover on TV, becomes sexier, more empathetic, less blind visit our new Che Heart store
Obama: "We must work to rid the world of nuclear weapons and of Israel too while we're at it"
Obama to impose a cap on temperatures for patients in government-subsidized hospitals
Brady Campaign to Prevent Cereal Violence applauds gov't crackdown on cheerios, calls for registration of cereal bowls
Obama's rich supporters chagrined to find he's a class worrior and not the cynical hypocrite they'd counted on
Congress nationalizes DeBeers, changes marketing slogan to 'government programs are forever'
Sen. Specter: 'we could be energy-independent by now if Republicans invested in eternal engine research'
Kentucky Derby winner admits to having no specific strategy: I just kept repeating 'hope' and 'change' and I won... wow!
Never waste a good crisis: Obama uses swine flu epidemic to put a mask on Joe Biden
Study: exposure to pork- barrel projects heightens risk of catching swine flu
Islamic scholars green-light use of government pork by Muslim groups: 'not haram'
DHS Napolitano's preferred man-made disaster color warnings: chocolate, vanilla, strawberryDow Jones rally prompted by record sales of tea bags on April 15
WH: Obama's handshake with Saudi King looked like a bow as King Abdullah's arms are twice as long as human arms but atrophy prevents useDHS tip on spotting a right- wing extremist: watch out for the one carrying a paycheck
Opposed to teabagging, Pelosi accepts motion to expel Congressperson Barney Frank
Spring cleaning tip: don't forget to change your scientific consensus from winter setting "climate change" to summer setting "global warming"
Obama uses old Bush-era teleprompter for Baghdad speech
Segway and GM launch a 2-wheeled contraceptive
Obama's stern reaction to North Korea missile launch: "I'm tellin'!"Lenin laughs ass off over crisis in capitalism Scientists: Lenin statue expelled no harmful gases, only dialectical materialism Obama gives Queen a shovel click here NBC: We are all Special Olympians now, especially Olbermann
Obama's teleprompter caught moonlighting as AmEx spokesperson: 'Don’t leave home without it'
click here for the story Alabama gunman was trying to 'be more like Europeans' After shootings, EU threatens potential mass murderes with increased paperwork and red tape Oil prices rising; most viable solution is blame Limbaugh Obama to bring Cuba in from the cold; political prisoners to remain outside Healthcare crisis: Planned Parenthood forced to offer 2 abortions for the price of 1; 50% off if you refer a friend Hillary presents Russian Foreign Minister Lavrov with the People's Cube CLICK HERE FOR THE STORY Obama's Reaganesque address: "I've just declared peace on the Soviet Union. The bonging will start in five minutes" Satellite launched to confirm global warming: finds none, crashes in Antarctica in protest Al-Qaeda founder discovers DNC playbook, attacks own side in war an terror Obama to slash deficit after increase; firefighters to quench house after setting fire to it
Treasury Dept buys Monopoly board game for policy advice Democrats pay back their constituents, save faltering squeegee businesses from collapsing
Muslim group offended by pork hidden in stimulus package, threatens revenge Obama appoints guilt czar to oversee fair distribution of guilt among all Americans Size matters: stimulus package so big it won't even fit on Drudge No help from Obama to storm-ravaged Kentucky; officials consider renaming state to New Orleans in effort to get attention Politico: volcano trouble in Alaska a result of Palin's policies MoveOn adopts Bush's cowboy diplomacy: 'You're either with Obama or Rush' Obama urges liberals to start listening to Rush Limbaugh: 'all too often we start by dictating on issues and don't always know all the factors involved. So let's listen.' More bad economic news: area antiwar group lays off its bumper sticker makers Dissent no longer patriotic: Obama Reminder to Hollywood celebrities: must change 'patriotic' setting from 'hate America' to 'love America' on Jan. 20 Obama promises to Photoshop a better future for America You won't be told lies if you don't ask questions: Obama's new media policy Personals: senate seats available in NY & Il. Hardly ever used. Cash OK. Change we can believe in: Clinton 1990s staffers Somali pirates hijack international space station Starting with 11/5/08, the cor- rect progressive greeting in America is "Barack Obama!" The reply is "Obama Barack!" Laika the Space Dog consi- dered for new White House pet: "Thoroughly vetted by Bill Ayers" CHANGE: President-elect Obama crushes Yankee imperialism in a landslide
Seven Obama cousins found living in voting boothUS choppers attack ACORN voter registration center in Syria US military: We decided to strike now because this time next year we’ll be a Peace Keeping force Biden predicts severe test for Obama in first six months: another question from Joe the Plumber Obama: Let he who is without wealth cash the first check! Joe Biden: work is a four-letter word
FBI investigates Mickey Mouse Club for voter fraud Embarrassed ACORN accidentally registers 'Ronald Reagan' Kids' hymns to Obama a success of Democrat strategy: If you can't abort them, indoctrinate them World to USA: 'Fix world ecomonic crisis so we can get back to hating you' Obama's campaign invites opponents to play 'Truth or Jail' Biden: Hoover text-messaged Americans to calm fears during 1929 crashDead support Obama, all are registered to vote by ACORN Biden calls taxes patriotic Study: Jesus spoke without a telepromter Obama promises free lipstic for everybody if elected KARAOKE: These Are The Jerks We Call Journalists Obama's negotiations with Gustav prove fruitful; storm spares "French Quarter" Feminist group: Sarah Palin worst mother since June Cleaver; decried as "too feminine" Obama: leave Bristol alone, she has been punished enough with a baby Putin shoots tiger with Polonium-laced dart Obama: ready from day one to place a call to UN if a US city is nuked Cult of personality at the People's Cube is up 90% compared to previous Five-Year Plan Congress established windfall tax on US gold medals International Olympic Committee to redistribute Phelp's ill-gotten golds to less fortunate athletes Obama beats Hillary to coveted CPUSA endorsement February 2050 declared White History Month. Future headlines expected to read "Minorities hardest hit... and deservedly so." Obama denounces Russia's actions; humbled Russia sends self to Gulag US trade deficit dropped; NYT instructs readers to turn paper upside down for more favorable view of graph Sharpton protests disproportionate deaths of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes, calls for immediate deaths of David Letterman and Billy Joel to even score Science to unveil invisible cloak; Conservative White Christian male in NJ says he's been invisible for years NYT: Russia's invasion of Georgia leaves much smaller carbon footprint than US invasion of Iraq Larry the Cable Guy issues call to "man the pick up trucks" as Russia invades Georgia Edwards claims he was having affair with camera, didn't notice woman attached Chavez's parents cut off Hugo's credit card after Moscow shopping binge Oil industry to Pelosi: You've been given a brain. Use it or lose it. Congress to declare July 19th International Swimmers' Day
How many superdelegates does it take to change a lightbulb? Photoshopped Iranian missile saves 25% on Islamic Republic's carbon footprint
Word of the day: HUSSIES n. Female Obama supporters changing their middle names to HusseinObama: we have always been at peace with Hillary ClintonGrand Rapids Mayor George Heartwell vows city will be "vanilla" when rebuilt Media grows impatient with Iowa's lack of flood-related rapes and pillaging: Why can't they be more like New Orleans? CNN investigates Iowans caught blowing FEMA debit cards at Tractor Supply Company Obama: WTC problem ended on 9/11, Pentagon still a problemHillary supporters organize against Obama Janet Reno congratulates Elian Gonzalez on joining Cuba's Young Communists
Dick Durbin denies that being Hell's spokesperson and moonlighting as a Democrat Senator presents a conflict of interest Flooding in Iowa causes typical white people to turn bitter and cling to evacuation procedures Democrat energy policy: let them eat cake Monica Lewinsky endorses Obama: 'This is not the Bill Clinton I knew' NASA unveils 'ass-crack' space suit for plumbing repairs at int'l space station Dead people at Obama's rally identified as a renegade splinter group of Hillary's 'invisible Americans' Howard Dean: dead people will vote Democrat no matter who gets the nomination Mainstream media silent on increased attacks on US troops by mainstream media Sen. Kennedy under treatment. Mary Jo still dead Muanmar drafts Mayor Nagin and Gov. Blanco to help with cyclone clean up New Orleans Mayor sends school buses to Myanmar As Darfur violence surges, world vows not to give a crap unless the US gets involved Chinese citizens crushed by bricks and rubble; tanks have day off
Friendly fire: BBC office hit by al-Qaeda rocket Al Gore knows what caused Burma cyclone but won't say it International community promises to suspend anti- Americanism until after American aid reaches Burma Mainstream media saddened that Austrian pedophile isn't a Catholic priest, a Baptist minister, or a GOP senator
North Korea's nuclear technicians protest outsourcing jobs to Syria Earth Day: save the planet, starve the children! Focus group: if water boarding was a sexual preference, they'd be teaching it in public schools Study: Wall Street losses unfairly target the rich Mixed month for MTV: teen pregnancy drops, however STDs are on the rise Obama pledges to give every typical small town family a possum sandwich Delays at American Airlines: a sneak peak into proposed government healthcare Stop and smell the Sharpies Obama: baby is punishment; tax increase is bundle of joy Media: this year's Global Bad News Awareness week to overlap with International Good News Obliviousness month NPR journalists go on truckers-style protest over high price of lattes Most popular April Fools joke: "A Democrat president won't raise taxes" Obama denounced extreme statements in Osama's new tape but urged voters to listen to the entire message before making judgment Obama's speech calls for change in stereotyping "the typical White person" Spitzer denies applying hardball tactics in front of bathroom mirror and threatening to come after himself New York State House retires Spitzer's #9 jersey KKK endorses Harvard's gym segregation policy: 'Blacks and Jews are next' London quake caused by SUV, now impounded by Scotland Yard Hillary's healthcare plan to include smelling salts for Obama's supporters and mandatory amputation of Chris Matthews' leg USMail Service to publish Obama's resume on new stamp Obama: one man's plagiarism is another man's audacity Candidate Barry O'Bama to court Irish vote Berkeley ousting US Marines gives hope to al Qaeda: 'If hippies can do it, so can we!' Berkley builds wall around self; man trying to flee 'Peace Sanctuary City' shot at checkpoint John McCain apologizes for going to Vietnam, earns Jane Fonda's endorsement To avoid scorn and ridicule, Tom Cruise converts to Islam NY Times: Backward, close-minded, inbred southern hicks vote for Obama NY Times: All the news that's fit to pimp Dems offer first female for President, first Black for President, first pretty pony for Attorney General Brokeback Mountain loses climber NASA's Spirit Rover finds Dennis Kucinich campaign on MarsLas Vegas: candidates offer plans to bail out flustered gamblers Feds: subprime borrowers' relief package to include subprime rib Silence in Cuba: Castro too ill to speak in public, Cubans too afraid to speak Dems adopt old British "don't mention the war" strategy for '08 campaign Obama's 'Take a penny, leave a penny' economic plan sparks new hope Obama's campaign hires homeless people to talk about change on street corners Panhandlers Union endorses Obama's plan for change Al Gore's children receive carbon credits for Winter Solstice Holiday Democrats call for troop surge in the War on Bush Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win Pelosi declares she likes class war, pledges to stay the course Expert blames Republicans for not attacking all Democrat candidates equally High school Meth teacher starts new class Holy Mitt! Violence in Iraq down 60%; media stories reporting this down 6000% Imus covers all bases by hiring undocumented-Black- Jewish-homeless- transgendered-vegan- disabled-obese-Kartina- victim as a sidekick Poll: most Muslims find curvature of Riemannian manifolds offensive "How The Grinch Redistributed Winter Solstice" opens on Broadway Left-wing bloggers hold vigil hoping suspect is connected to GOP candidate Hostage situation expected to be politicized in the next 20 minutes "Mall security" takes over operations in Baghdad New study suggests that 1 US gallon of Latte is 170 times more expensive than 1 US gallon of Regular gasoline. Al Gore sterilizes self to protect planet: 'Having children is selfish' NY Times: some news is fitter to print than others Study: most Americans will be worried about economy if told so often enough Musharraf changes name to Chavez to avoid being called "dictator" by MSM and Democrats in US Congress Media changes old adage "no news is good news" to "no good news is news" US Congress extends hurricane season until the first Sunday in November Lack of bad news from Iraq causes media recession. Women and minority journalists hardest hit. LA Times drops term "wild" describing fire, uses "undocumented" fire instead USA Today: big fires are getting bigger, small fires are getting smaller Reid: Global Warming caused fire by overheating arsonist's head, provoking delusional paranoia MoveOn.org pressures Congress to stop fighting fire and bring firemen home Reid: The war on fire is lost Pelosi: The number of fires has gone up since we started fighting fire Kerry: If you don't do well in school you'll get stuck fighting fire in California NY Times: Fighting fire creates even more fires Harry Reid auctions clothes, furniture, car on eBay in effort to make millions off his name. "If Limbaugh can do it so can I." No takers so far. Princess Leia Organa presents the Alderaanian Medal of Honor to Al Gore Did Che Guevara descend from Prophet Mohammed? San Andreas Fault in California preemptively renamed George Bush's Fault Media Matters editor blows self up over Limbaugh's 'bomber' remark End of Ramadan brings new rioting season to France Harry Reid bangs shoe on table: "We will bury you!" Dutch follow Ahmadinejad's lead, declare "there are no dykes in Holland" Ahmadinejad to Amerika: "Don't tase me, bro!" Bomb Girl and Taser Boy sell rights to their characters to Marvel Comics Cindy Sheehan hires Bomb Girl and Taser Boy as image consultants CBS stands by firing of Dan Rather: "He couldn't tell our logo from a hole in the ground" Jessie Jackson on Obama: "too White." Obama on Jackson: "I'm a smoke dat biatch if I see him"
Tasered victim at John Kerry's speech to receive Purple Heart Mugabe blames Zimbabwe's meltdown on Global Warming To stomp out possible confusion, MSM changes spelling of Obama to Ubama Craving acceptance from liberals, General Petraeus gains 300lbs and debuts report at Cannes. George Soros stops funding Democrats, converts to Islam Edwards: 41% of American children don't have lawyers John Edwards proposes "single payer" trial lawyer insurance for all, mandatory pre-jurisprudence care Illegal aliens kill people Americans won't killDemocrats select 2008 presidential slogan: "Death to America" Larry "Happy Feet" Craig uses Michael Flatley's Riverdance defense "Americans Coming Together" admit they had timing issues Presbyterian clergy issue fatwah calling for Pope's deathNew Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face Vick awaits doggie-style welcome in prison Rock star behaves like rap star: huge media outcry China's recall of defective Daily Kos bloggers causes suicides among Democrat strategists Al Gore to recall the Internet Media declares September National Bridge Awareness Month First New Orleans, now Minnesota: Anderson Cooper travels up the Mississippi without a paddle Ray Nagin pledges to build a chocolate bridge instead William Jefferson spotted under collapsed bridge retrieving mystery package Cannibalism, rape, looting, republicanism rampant in Minneapolis Lindsay Lohan to enter astronaut training program Nigeria's plan to nationalize local spam industry sparks massive riots in Lagos
Democrat Congress's two major victories: minimum wage increase and al-Qaeda's restored operating capability London Mayor Livingston mandates Sharia law at nightclubs to prevent further bombings Taliban spokesman blames media bias as civilian deaths from US air strikes grab headlines: "Taliban has murdered thousands of civilians and we can't even get mentioned on Countdown with Olbermann. What gives?"Back alley massage parlors now offering "better ending than Sopranos" Bush to close Gitmo, detainees released into Mexican custody to be put on fast track to US citizenship
Study: Dan rather still unable to tell the difference between Paris Hilton and Katie Couric Civil war in Gaza: if it's not in Iraq why report it? US media increasingly impatient at lack of civil war in IraqUS Embassy in Syria warns of sex attacks. So how long will Bill be visiting for? Delighted Dems: "The surge has failed!"MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza! Palestinians still wonder why their real civil war can't knock Iraq "civil war" off the front page As Albanians welcome Bush and show love for USA, NY Times offers them free subscriptions to "solve problem" Paris gets out of jail faster than an illegal immigrant Socialist utopia takes foothold in Venezuela as water cannons salute victory Pelosi: "I've seen climate change." John Fogerty of CCR also wants to know "if she's ever seen rain" Democrats call for troop withdrawal from Jersey Harry Reid: "Troop presence in New Jersey creating more terrorists" French riot police deployed as open minded, tolerant socialists expected to react to election results Progressives concerned with Sarkozy's "extremist agenda " of rule of law and assimilation to French culture Dems: War needs deadline; only social policies can run indefinitely Sheryl Crow to wipe out global warming one butt at a time Va Tech lessons for MSM: must ban guns, rich kids ACLU calls for calm, fears backlash against innocent gun owners: 'all gun owners aren't terrorists' Liberal groups join gun tolerance and awareness workshops Gun owners converting to Islam in droves to ward off profiling Sharp jump in number of 'non-decapitated' babies following Supreme Court decision Sharpton makes a list of 57 Don Imus sympathizers on public airwaves Al Gore and John Kerry agree: people who live in greenhouses should not expel noxious gases Al Gore hired by K-Y to pro- mote Global Warming Jelly New study shows Earth's 'fever' contagious; Mars asks planets to kick 'Greenhouse Mary' out of solar system Schumer demands Karl Rove be indicted on 1976 parking ticket Al Qaeda reacts to Schumer attack: "Thank Allah we're not Republicans!" Dems: Khalid Sheik Mohamed just watched too many episodes of 24 and made all that stuff in his confession up Fitzgerald to prosecute Ann Coulter for disclosing identity of presidential candidate John Edwards Following Scooter Libby success, media demands journalists be included on all future juries Kent State professor calls for bin Laden victory: time to bring in the National Guard again? Hollywood to America: our moral issues are better than your moral issues Obama promises to "purge himself" if he loses to Hillary to spare the public a lengthy trial House vote: Insurgents react with non-binding IED Democrat leaders don't support terrorists but they support their mission North Korea agrees to nuclear disarmament, media hails Madeleine Albright Bush: I support Democrat majority - but not their mission Is it time for Pinochet yet? Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History
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I dare say that as far as I am concerned, the end of my relationship with the Republican party. This is indeed the old east coast republican party reasserting themselves, with a touch of liberal green poison pill thrown in, and riding the McCain express. Now I can only hope one of the growing conservative third parties grow... that or pray for a true revolution. 
Ivan, Ivan, ivan.
Experts: assassin hid bomb in anal cavity adjacent to brain
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Al-Qaeda founder discovers DNC playbook, attacks own side in war an terror
Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win
New Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face
MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza!
Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History
