CLICK TO ZOOM Re-educate your friends, family, and co-workers!
The old world
of capitalist oppression has failed to give birth
to world-wide communist revolution. Well, too bad!
We say that world was spoiled goods anyway! You can't
bring up the New Man in the immoral bourgeois environment.
So let the blue planet rot while greedily consuming
the last natural resourses it has left.
We'll build our world on Mars!
The Red Planet is not red by accident. It will
be a selfless, equitable world based on proletarian
morals, with a striving state-subsidized culture,
marked by great economic successes and technological
breakthroughs - almost like North Korea, only better.
Click on the movie to pause, double-click to play again. QuickTime plugin required for Party members only
Or right-click here to download it on your hard disk in case capitalist software or firewalls prevent you from viewing it directly.
By
Dr W. S. Palimpsest 4/21/2005, 4:52 pm
When the doors of perception are cleansed, the bourgeoisie and their kulak enablers will see things as they truly are: relative and subjective.
How many fingers am I holding up, Winston? ...Good.
Red is blue and blue is red. We are actually living on the Red Planet, the hoodwinked masses just haven't realized it yet! They see blue where they will see red. It's just a matter of time.
By
Comrade Betty. 4/21/2005, 4:53 pm
Lemme get this strait, red is blue and blue is red, and soon everything will be red... ouch... i think my brain just broked... ow...
By
Dr W. S. Palimpsest 4/21/2005, 4:54 pm
Comrade Betty wrote
Lemme get this strait, red is blue and blue is red, and soon everything will be red... ouch... i think my brain just broked... ow...
It seems the doublethink therapy is taking effect. Good. I doubt you'd like to be sent to Room 101. That's reserved for the most intractable perpetrators of thought crime.
The brain fatigue that you are experiencing is a temporary side effect that will wane as the treatment progresses.
By
Rogue 9 4/21/2005, 8:50 pm
I denounce this capitalist pig-dog video for causing Firefox to crash!
By
Citizen J 4/22/2005, 4:10 pm
AHHHH, I see someone has been reading from our manifesto cleverly disguised as a book by George Orwell. I believe it was called 1984.
Dr Palimpsest, you sir will do good for the party. We must expose the public to their future gradually so that they will accept total domination....I mean our utopian values with the least resistance possible. Yes!!!!
By
Premier Betty 5/3/2005, 2:40 pm
Damn! I still can't Watch the video because of stupid missing plugins bull @#$%, *&%#$ @%$# *&$%^@^!
Comrade Betty -
Looks like someone has been pressing the "W" key too much lately.
1. Try restarting your keyboard.
2. If this doesn't solve your problem ask Comrade Al Gore.
3. Alternately you can try Internet Explorer instead of Firefox. That's if you're a Windows user.
4. If this doesn't solve your problem see option 2.
Red Square
By
Breather 5/9/2005, 3:15 pm
W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W
*DEEP BREATH*
W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W
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W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W
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W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W
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W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W
*DEEP BREATH*
W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W
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W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W
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W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W
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W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W
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W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W
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W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W
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W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W
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W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W
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W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W
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W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W
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W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W
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W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W
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W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W
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W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W
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W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W W
*DEEP BREATH*
By
Premier Betty 5/9/2005, 9:48 pm
What the...
By
Komrade Koz 5/17/2005, 1:36 pm
Comrade Betty wrote
Damn! I still can't Watch the video because of stupid missing plugins bull @#$%, *&%#$ @%$# *&$%^@^!
Comrade Betty -
Looks like someone has been pressing the "W" key too much lately.
1. Try restarting your keyboard.
2. If this doesn't solve your problem ask Comrade Al Gore.
3. Alternately you can try Internet Explorer instead of Firefox. That's if you're a Windows user.
4. If this doesn't solve your problem see option 2.
Red Square
Seriously Komrades, I would not use IE, it is used by an evil force that even George Bush would tremble in fear of! Unless you wish to be hit with never ending popups and viruses, I suggest firefox.
By
Commissar Vladimir Ivanov 5/17/2005, 7:11 pm
Fellow Comrades,
Komrade Koz made a great point in the Current Events division of our Cube mentioning the latest invention of the People's Cube. Laika Space Dog Browser is the only browser supported by the People (Codename: Firefox for the capitalist world). Why are we using capitalists' creation of web browsers (Real name: Internet Exploder)?
And somebody please get rid of Breather! He needs to be re-educated. Off to the gulag with him!
Flying with Laika,
Vladimir Ivanov
Red Journalism Headquarters, Moscow, USSR
By
Premier Betty 5/18/2005, 7:27 pm
Quote
And somebody please get rid of Breather! He needs to be re-educated. Off to the gulag with him!
Yes, Vladimir, using the "W" key that much isn't good for your computer. I have just cut several years off of my coputer's life with that first "W"... Shit! that's even more years! now my computer has only enough life for the next 3 seconds. What am I going to d....
*computer over*
By
Komrade Koz 5/19/2005, 1:14 pm
Comrade Betty wrote
Quote
And somebody please get rid of Breather! He needs to be re-educated. Off to the gulag with him!
Yes, Vladimir, using the "W" key that much isn't good for your computer. I have just cut several years off of my coputer's life with that first "W"... Shit! that's even more years! now my computer has only enough life for the next 3 seconds. What am i going to d....
*computer over*
I am usually cautious to not type the evil "double-U" charcter too often. It reminds me too much of the capitalist pig, and the failed revolu...
I mean, there was no revolution. I must have been thinking of a movie or something. John Kerry was a lie made up by the captialist-propaganda machine CNN.
By
Commissar Vladimir Ivanov 5/19/2005, 3:19 pm
Who's John Kerry?
By
Premier Betty 5/19/2005, 7:02 pm
Vladimir Ivanov wrote
Who's John Kerry?
Never heard of him!
HEY!!! THAT'S MINE!
AND I HAVE A T-SHIRT TO PROVE IT!
ROSAESQ.
By
PaulPot 6/5/2005, 8:53 am
You backsliding capitalist boot-lick lackeys fail to understand that the Socialist Left is an "Evolving Paradigm". You know, 'A work in progress'. Redouble our efforts. Root out the last few selfish exploiters of the Party's love and kindness. And so forth.
Call me at the beach house in Nantucket if anything comes up.....
There once was a man from Nantuket,
Who got his head stuck in a bucket.
When he couldn't get out,
He started to shout,
And then he decided to just fuck it
-Premier Betty
By
Premier Betty 7/19/2005, 3:55 pm
I have finally seen the video!!!!!!!!!!!! I am here taking a programing class at one of this countries fine communist indoctrination centers (Dominican University) and the powerful computers that they have here finally have the right programs to play this splendid video!
I must admit that it was vey good, and seemed to have Star Wars influences in it with the giant Peoples cube floating in space like the Death Star. We must plan on making that a reality. But instead of destroying planets, the "Cube Star" as we shall call it should have a beam weapon that forces whomever we dislike to do the monkey for the rest of their lives.
Good to hear that, comrade.
-Vladimir Ivanov
By
Comrade X 5/14/2006, 1:34 pm
Premier Betty wrote
I have finally seen the video!!!!!!!!!!!! I am here taking a programing class at one of this countries fine communist indoctrination centers (Dominican University) and the powerful computers that they have here finally have the right programs to play this splendid video!
I must admit that it was vey good, and seemed to have Star Wars influences in it with the giant Peoples cube floating in space like the Death Star. We must plan on making that a reality. But instead of destroying planets, the "Cube Star" as we shall call it should have a beam weapon that forces whomever we dislike to do the monkey for the rest of their lives.
Good to hear that, comrade.
-Vladimir Ivanov
I liked the mothership!
By
O'Brien 10/18/2006, 3:48 pm
Comrades,
What a wonderful and glorious idea!! How does the People's Spaceship progress? Is it near completion?
O'Brien
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
By
Comrade Engineerski 11/22/2006, 12:01 am
Blue is the tool of the Capitalist Oppressors!
Red is red!
Blue is un-red!
I am but a spark in the flamethower of Revolution!
I humbly return to fufilling quota...
By
Red Square 1/12/2007, 12:19 pm
In a quite expected development, Google is promoting Potemkingrad as well!
In the new Google ad (at the top of our pages) there's a small link "Advertise on this site." I checked it and clicked on "sign up" to see what's there. What do you know - see the sample ad at the bottom. You'll probably see it too if you go there.
By
O'Brien 3/6/2007, 9:24 am
Comrades!!! Call Al Gore!! Man is destroying our Worker's Paradise on Mars before we even get there!
Global Warming has spread to Mars!
What to do? What to do?!
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
By
Premier Betty 3/14/2007, 10:00 pm
It's all the fault of those damn robots the kkkapitalist NASA keeps sending to destroy every planet in the solar system in their vein attempts to contain socialism. those robots burn the souls of good progressive babies for fuel, and they leak radiation and all sorts of nasty mean bad stuff all over the place. it must be stopped!
By
Commissar Theocritus 4/4/2007, 9:37 pm
I have a horrible fear that somewhere on the Red Planet are people who are not victims of the Democratic Party, er, benefiting from the enlightened attitudes of Madam Speakerette and our Many Titted Empress. After all, every being in the universe should have the benefit of the wisdom of the collective.
And they might have some Magic Pixie Juice too, or something else that we could steal, er, appropriate for the Greater Good.
Of us. Hahahaha. Oops. Wet 'em. Sorry for my indescretion; I've just been to a cocktail party and I'm quite giddy. One too many Stalins. Have you tried the Stalin? It's a cocktail made of virgin's blood and widow's tears.
By
Commissar L.R. Star 8/16/2007, 3:21 pm
Premier Betty wrote
Quote
And somebody please get rid of Breather! He needs to be re-educated. Off to the gulag with him!
Yes, Vladimir, using the "W" key that much isn't good for your computer. I have just cut several years off of my coputer's life with that first "W"... Shit! that's even more years! now my computer has only enough life for the next 3 seconds. What am I going to d....
*computer over*
It is sad to see that even here the vile pigdog bushitler can infiltrate red command with his middle initial in a vain effort to subjugate the masses
____________________
"Do you hate being a liberal? What's it like? Is it like being a bug?
I imagine bugs and liberals have a dim perception that nature played a cruel trick on them, but they lack the intelligence to comrehend the magnitude of it."
By
Marshal Pupovich 8/16/2007, 9:06 pm
LoneRedStar wrote
"Do you hate being a liberal? What's it like? Is it like being a bug?
I imagine bugs and liberals have a dim perception that nature played a cruel trick on them, but they lack the intelligence to comrehend the magnitude of it."
Comments like that would seem to be a cry for help. The Party will be reaching out their hand for you soon. You sound like an excellent candidate for the Pioneers of the Red Planet's Collective farm. Don't worry about that dull shovel you will be issued, it will be sharpened by the rocky soil of our glorious Red Planet!
By
Commissar Theocritus 8/17/2007, 10:01 pm
LoneStarRed, bugs are the center of the universe. We really are. The world exists because we do. There is nothing outside us, no reality that is not our perception.
We ARE the world....sing out sing out...
By
Union Boss 9/22/2007, 8:49 pm
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Comrade Union Boss, I hope you don't mind but I resized your etch-a-sketch transmission to a width of 550 pixels. It was so big it was stretching the page. If you use the EDIT button you can see how I resized it.
Yours in Revolutionary fervor!
Comrade Otis
By
Commissar Theocritus 9/23/2007, 12:54 am
May I suggest that no pages be accompanied with music? WHATSOEVER? Please? Please? Please? Lest someone confuse us with a porn site.
Oh. This is a porn site. So the "Internationale" is okay.
By
Union Boss 9/23/2007, 10:32 am
Thank Commie Otis. It wasn't that big in my file folder or in Photoshop. I did notice that it was wreeking havok with the page, but didn't know what to do. But, I did the right thing, because I let the powers that be correct me and show me my errors. My thanks to the State.
By
Marshal Pupovich 9/23/2007, 11:59 am
From whence is the music coming from? I have been to this thread before without being assaulted.
By
Premier Betty 9/23/2007, 2:33 pm
The video thingy with pictures of Mars the and giant People's Cube space station floating in space.
By
Marshal Pupovich 9/23/2007, 3:34 pm
That was what I figured as well, but it never played for me before! I don't have Quicktime on my computer, only a program that plays almost every one of their files. Hmmm, makes me wonder if one of the kiddo's didn't load it to my computer!
By
Premier Betty 9/23/2007, 3:51 pm
I had a problem m of never being able to watch it because I could never download QuickTime. When I finally got a new computer, it got fixed when I downloaded it. Just download QuickTime, then you will get the video. I know you don't like it, but just do it anyway.
By
Marshal Pupovich 9/23/2007, 9:38 pm
There must have been something else going on. The video and music is playing for me, but I still don't have quicktime. I have Quicktime Alternative 1.77 and I see they now have a 1.90.
By
Premier Betty 9/23/2007, 11:41 pm
Wait, you can see the video playing, and hear the music? I guess there is no longer a problem, but I recommend downloading QuickTime anyway, because the alternative program you have may not work on all websites and stuff. The only real reason I got QuickTime was so I could play the animations that I made in my computer arts class in high school because we were required to render them in the QuickTime Format.
I've got VLC Media Player which will play almost every media format out there, but I still think it's a good idea to have QuickTime. I just turn off the automatic updates thingy and make sure not to set it as my primary media payer.
By
Marshal Pupovich 9/24/2007, 7:05 am
I have turned off the automatic updates thing more times than I can remember. But I have found that there is perhaps less than 1% of the sites I have gone to that I had a problem with my alternative quicktime. In fact, I really can't think of but one site that I had a problem with. Tell you another one I have a great alternative for, and that is Adobe Reader. I always hated that one as well since it was always so slow loading. I have Foxit, and pdf files open almost immediately with that and I don't get bothered with updates from that either.
By
Premier Betty 9/24/2007, 11:21 pm
Really, you hate Adobe reader? I have never had any problems with it loading slowly, then again, I probably haven't noticed since my internet is so slow anyway.
By
Marshal Pupovich 9/25/2007, 6:21 am
Oh yes, I hate Adobe and it's updates. It is slow loading on every computer I have ever owned and at work. You just don't notice it since you have not tried the Foxit reader and compare the time it takes for both to come up.
By
Premier Betty 9/26/2007, 12:53 am
I don't have any trouble with Adobe updates, and I have never even heard of Foxit. Can you download it, or do you have to buy it?
By
Marshal Pupovich 9/26/2007, 6:21 am
Premier Betty wrote
I don't have any trouble with Adobe updates, and I have never even heard of Foxit. Can you download it, or do you have to buy it?
Buy it? Buy it? As if I would waste money that belongs to the Many Titted Empress!
http://www.foxitsoftware.com/pdf/rd_intro.php
By
Premier Betty 9/26/2007, 11:35 pm
How foolish I was! I forgot that party members always try to avoid "buying" materials that belong to the state.
I'll try it out and see how it compares. Who knows, maybe I'll get rid of Adobe Reader forever....
By
Marshal Pupovich 9/27/2007, 6:05 am
It the Foxit is also something like 3mb vs Adobe's 11 or 12. Why do I need such a big program for the occassional document to read on the internet?
By
Premier Betty 9/28/2007, 12:57 am
The Adobe works in mysterious ways. It just makes things more confusing.
By
Union Boss 9/28/2007, 5:55 am
Larger, more taxing on system recources..thats Adobe..Thats why Adobe is the STATE APPROVED PDF reader. They have a "near" monopoly on PDF software, the software demands updates that annoy the F out of you, and the name adobe, well, its a substance that comes from mother earth. I don't know about the rest of you rebels, but I am obviously sticking with adobe. (as far as the State knows)
By
Marshal Pupovich 9/28/2007, 6:25 am
I can't tell how much faster the Foxit runs on my computer at work. When you use adobe, you get this flash screen, and then you see all the little programs loading on it...then typically I get a blank screed before seeing my document. With Foxit, I click on a pdf on the internet for instance, and it just opens. It looks every bit as good as Adobe.
By
KR2004 10/22/2007, 4:40 pm
I don't know anything about those other programs, but I do know QuickTime should work just play clicking on "Here" and waiting.
By the way, does anyone know what song that is playing in the background? It sounds good.
By
Marshal Pupovich 10/22/2007, 5:06 pm
Sherlock Pup to the rescue. The song is Peace Frog by the Doors.
My Quicktime substitute program plays it fine... I am Quicktime free!!!
By
chinaai 10/28/2007, 8:59 pm
Wow, I got here as fast as I could Comrades. I totally had to find the CD with the Doors song Peace Frog and found it today! I was exposed to the the cube on the Limbaugh radio program and since I am a recent Ayn Rand reader I was naturally curious about your web site. I too am proud to be a thought criminal. So what is the ETA on the RED PLANET site does any one know.
By
Premier Betty 10/29/2007, 1:31 am
chinaai wrote
So what is the ETA on the RED PLANET site does any one know.
So far we are still colonizing Potemkingrad with our future slave popul-, I mean, "intelligent" and "good" people who refuse to live under the oppression of kkkapitalism.
By
Marshal Pupovich 10/29/2007, 3:42 pm
chinaai wrote
I too am proud to be a thought criminal.
Whoa whoa!!!! Do you wish to be a proud dull shovel bearer as well? Have you any idea what happens to thought criminals here? You need to get in touch with your inner comrade! Check for instructions here Inner Comrade
By
chinaai 11/4/2007, 10:36 am
Commissar Pupovich wrote
chinaai wrote
I too am proud to be a thought criminal.
Whoa whoa!!!! Do you wish to be a proud dull shovel bearer as well? Have you any idea what happens to thought criminals here? You need to get in touch with your inner comrade! Check for instructions here Inner Comrade
Ah well no I don't like yard work personally. I checked out the lesson on "Inner Comrade" that looks like a lotta work. So are you all gettin ready the big holiday on Nov 7th?
By
Marshal Pupovich 11/4/2007, 11:15 am
Well, if there is one thing we try to avoid here it is work. While of course we are all equal, some are more equal than others right? We find that those who are less equal have a greater talent for work.
Yes, I don't know of the other's plans, but I still celebrate the Glorious 7th of November.
By
Premier Betty 11/4/2007, 5:17 pm
There is nothing on Nov. 7th on my calendar that has every important occasion pre-printed on it. If I am missing out on something because one of the unwashed masses failed to put it on the calendar, heads will roll. (because you just can't execute one person, you have to set an example.)
By
Marshal Pupovich 11/4/2007, 8:41 pm
Ah Premier, best warm up your guillotine or whatever your choice of "re-education." I just answered your post in that thread accusing me of being a thought criminal.
By
Premier Betty 11/7/2007, 10:32 pm
NO!! Not my neck! My beautiful, solid, whole neck! I can't part with it! I'll just choose a tropical island labor camp where I will be forced (against my will) to drink cool drinks with umbrellas in them. The horror.
By
Marshal Pupovich 11/8/2007, 8:20 pm
No doubt you would choose and be granted such a "re-education" camp! LOL
By
Premier Betty 11/8/2007, 11:19 pm
Of course! What could possibly re-educate anyone more than a luxurious intensive recreation work facility designed to relax work you to the brink of death? I'm positively dreading what horrors and atrocities I will face. Just think of it, beautiful women to pander to my every need working my hands to the bone for the benefit of the party, sitting on the beach beaning proles with my golf ball gun being physically beaten by strangely dressed guards who smile in a very weird way, and dining on the finest meals that lots of other peoples money can buy eating gruel and water once a day for my entire stay. I will certainly not enjoy it.
By
chinaai 11/9/2007, 7:03 am
Ah I can't help but wonder if Potemkingrad has such a fine facility for re-education! I very much enjoy resort style re-education, so comrades when was the last time you went to the Marxist country of Mexico. Now there is an education in how to live, pool side or beach side with nicely dressed less equal comrades to provide for your every need! The torture tables located ocean side Oh the pain and suffering can't you just smell the coconut oil.
By
Premier Betty 11/9/2007, 4:39 pm
All I could smell when I went down there was sewage.
By
chinaai 11/9/2007, 8:29 pm
What a shame. That means you did not drink enough Vodka. Then you would not smell anything.
By
Premier Betty 11/9/2007, 9:08 pm
I guess 13 cases weren't enough. That or they mysteriously disappeared... again.
By
Superkommissar Maksim 1/14/2008, 12:30 am
By
Premier Betty 1/14/2008, 1:43 am
W007!
Just replace Saturn with the death star and that about sums it up.
By
Comrade Otis 1/14/2008, 2:30 pm
Maksim! Great poster. It truly captures the dream of Potyomkingrad and should be prominently displayed at all Party gatherings. But please, no death star. I don't agree with Betty.
By
Superkommissar Maksim 1/14/2008, 3:14 pm
I have posters that I brought with me from Motherland, really like retro style. My Photoshop skills are very limited, but altering them to suit cubist proposes is good idea. No?
I’m thinking of posting one in People’s Competition, and then all can play.
Here is original...
By
Comrade Otis 1/14/2008, 3:23 pm
Maksim M. Isaev wrote
I’m thinking of posting one in People’s Competition, and then all can play.
Very nice. I like that retro stuff too. Looking forward to seeing what you do in People's Competition. Have you ever looked at this:
Wimp. How are we supposed to assert our galactic superiority without planet destroying super weapons (other than communism)?
By
Commissar_Elliott 7/9/2008, 8:52 pm
I can't wait till The Party get those rockets ready and we leave this hot capitalistic filth that is Earth.
By
Minister Andropov 7/9/2008, 11:26 pm
Commissar Vladimir Ivanov wrote
Who's John Kerry?
I think he was in Nam.
By
Premier Betty 7/10/2008, 2:53 am
Didn't he take a grenade up the butt?
By
Commissar_Elliott 7/10/2008, 10:52 am
Premier Betty wrote
Didn't he take a grenade up the butt?
No, no, no, no, he took one in the butt Premier.
By
Premier Betty 7/12/2008, 4:11 pm
What's the difference?
By
Yakov Yakoff 8/10/2008, 6:44 am
All good komrades should realize socialism is universe and should inflate tires in anticipation of travel to red planet.
Yakov
By
Mme Blavatsky 9/12/2008, 9:40 pm
I have just channeled the ghost of Lenin and he assures me that Comrade Yakov will soon sustain four flat tires in a high speed police chase.
By
Comrade_Tovarich 9/28/2008, 7:15 am
Comrades,
I am slackjawed beyond my normal slackjawedness at the revolutionary concept of interplanetary revolution. This is downright Copernican in its intentional to get everyone with the revolution program.
Yet I must point out that colonization has an inconvenient youth of sorts: John Carter, Warlord of Mars. I read his stories as a thoughtcrime-plagued North American youth and thrilled to his adventures, saving princesses, and hanging out with six-armed hombres. While clearly a capitalist exploiter and übermensch, he could inhibit colonization.
Then again, Chiang Kai-Shek was Warlord of China and look at how things turned out for that running dog lackey of the Big Noses.
By
Comrade_Tovarich 9/28/2008, 7:16 am
While Red China's national anthem is "The East is Red," will the Red Planet's be "The Planet is Red"?
By
Tonya Greipenweiner 11/9/2008, 1:12 am
Dr W. S. Palimpsest wrote
When the doors of perception are cleansed, the bourgeoisie and their kulak enablers will see things as they truly are: relative and subjective.
How many fingers am I holding up, Winston? ...Good.
Red is blue and blue is red. We are actually living on the Red Planet, the hoodwinked masses just haven't realized it yet! They see blue where they will see red. It's just a matter of time.
I. See. Four. LIGHTS!
By
Comrade_Tovarich 1/21/2009, 10:57 am
Comrades,
Mars Exploration Rover Mission, Cornell, JPL, and NASA, all better known as Capricorn One, have provided a panorama of Mars. As both Lenin and Enzo Ferrari knew, Red = Sex and Sex Sells! As Che shows, Red sells as well, possibly even better than sex, given the recent porn industry bailout request.
Come to Mars, comradette, and let's play dusty! After all, it might be your new patriotic duty, and it does get pretty cold at night (and day and even at perihelioin), too.
By
Commissar Theocritus 1/21/2009, 12:12 pm
I have to plead a prior engagement, Tovarich, as much as I'd like to go to Mars. As much as I'd like to see some of our moonbat cousins in an even higher orbit, but I cannot do it.
Bruno, er, that's it, Bruno is having problems right now and I have to sit here and nurse him through it. So I won't be able to go to Mars. Where it's cold all the time. And a long way away from my impaling stakes.
By
Che Gourmet 1/21/2009, 1:15 pm
Comrades,
There was just a special on one of the NatGeo or Discovery Channels that said there might be life on Mars. All because they observed some methane gas? I say we had better inform our colony up there that they may have some unwelcome visitors. The special mentioned 2012?....Where have I heard that date before?......Sorry, I'm trying to acertain just who is incharge up there? Better have Laika transmit a message to them,......just to be safe, eh?
By
Commissar Theocritus 1/21/2009, 2:47 pm
Entirely out of character! The comrade who makes music play on this thread will be fed to Ann Coulter!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW!
By
Comrade_Tovarich 1/21/2009, 10:05 pm
Che Gourmet wrote
Sorry, I'm trying to acertain just who is incharge up there? Better have Laika transmit a message to them,......just to be safe, eh?
Comrade Che Gourmet,
I don't know what lifespans are on Mars, but John Carter was the Warlord of Mars in 1919. We might have to deal with his descendants, but we have shovels.
By
traci 2/10/2009, 1:01 pm
My dear Komrads,
I would like to squeal on report an infiltrator within the Potemkingrad Central Planning Committee. It appears that someone is utilizing your plans to build a colony on the planet Venus:
Hopefully, I will be receiving extra beets in my rations.
Please look into this.
Your loyal friend always,
Miss Pol Pot Pie.
By
Commissar Theocritus 2/10/2009, 1:17 pm
traci, you need to talk to Commissarka Pinkie about that. I never give out her beets. She looks so sweet, doesn't she? But my lord how that woman can swing a shovel. No doubt from practice digging.
By
traci 2/10/2009, 1:52 pm
Commissar Theocritus wrote
traci, you need to talk to Commissarka Pinkie about that. I never give out her beets. She looks so sweet, doesn't she? But my lord how that woman can swing a shovel. No doubt from practice digging.
My Dear Theocratus,
I know this comes as no shock to you. We all know that Pinkie has developed a sweetness toward your house-boy, Bruno...or possibly toward you, and she is trying to cozy up to Bruno to get to you. Anyway, she hasn't forgiven me since I beat her in the vodka-drinking, human tractor-pull relay.
Is it possible that either you or Bruno could speak to her on my behalf?
With much love, awe, and submission,
your friend,
Miss Pol Pot Pie
By
Commissar Theocritus 2/10/2009, 2:55 pm
Miss Pol Pot Pie, you made me blush. Frankly I rather doubt that Pinkie has developed a sweetness toward me, and as far as Bruno goes--no one could. I swear he can't find his way out of closet, well, closet is the wrong word, but something like that.
But I can't get rid of him. I've taken him 200 miles away and dumped him in the middle of nowhere--straight unbroken Texas roads for 50 miles in each direction. And he beat me home.
He's a homing queen.
I endure him out of my manifest progressive love for all of mankind. Believe me, it's like jumping on a grenade so that your comrades-in-arms may live. For the world is not ready for a 6'4" man dressed like Carmen Miranda singing "Tico Tico" in a scratchy basso profundo.
But I do confess that Bruno does have on attribute. He cuts Meow's visits short.
By
traci 2/10/2009, 3:23 pm
Aaah yes! Bruno. Bruno, Bruno ,Bruno. I have gained a sisterly affection for him, as he has become a larger than life character of your rancho anecdotes. My goodness! How I would have loved to have been there to see he and the many-titted empress's infamous cat-fight.
Bruno, the homing queen. LOL
By
Commissar Theocritus 2/10/2009, 7:14 pm
traci, when our Many Titted Empress comes over, Bruno just sits in the corner and shakes, moaning and keening and sucking his thumb. (He's always very cross the next day for what that does to his manicure.)
That's because one our Empress got very drunk and rode him like a rented mule, screaming, "Heigh Ho, I'm the Lone Ranger!" As we were distracted, well, shocked into insensibility by that, Meow stole the silver.
By
Red Star 2/11/2009, 6:09 pm
"well, shocked into insensibility by that, Meow stole the silver."
Kind and generous leader, How could you be shocked that Meow stole the silver, let’s face it we have to lock everything of value or nail it down whenever the Meow wagon rolls down the drive. Meow would steal the pennies off a dead man’s eyes, actually he has. Che refuses to give Meow, the many titted empress, or any of the Loony Left that shows up, anything but cheap plastic table wear, I steal from the local "Wendy's". but you know this as you had me steal as many condiment packages as I could get outwith...or should I say my Goons Highly Trained Troopers, actually they just grabbed the store manager and he turn it over with little struggle. I am glad to report we have been outfitting the Hemlock restaurants with these items.
Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality Inc.
Director of kicking doors at midnight
Keeper of the Sacred Plasma Cutter.
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith
By
Commissar Theocritus 2/12/2009, 12:32 am
Red Star, your vigilance is as always exemplary. I'm thinking that we can give out condiment packages as consolation prizes for people who don't get Pinkie's Beet of the Week award. And there's an added bonus: the plastic forks and knives, or even sporks, cannot cut through prison bars.
I have been in private consultation with Meow though and he promises to steal only from Rethuglicans in the future. I told him that after a year of good behavior, at the Rancho of course, I would tell him where his family was.
By
traci 2/12/2009, 12:46 am
Commissar Theocritus wrote
Red Star, your vigilance is as always exemplary. I'm thinking that we can give out condiment packages as consolation prizes for people who don't get Pinkie's Beet of the Week award. And there's an added bonus: the plastic forks and knives, or even sporks, cannot cut through prison bars.
I have been in private consultation with Meow though and he promises to steal only from Rethuglicans in the future. I told him that after a year of good behavior, at the Rancho of course, I would tell him where his family was.
I want to thank you for bringing this up to Red Star, as I have been despondent to have not received extra beets in my ration. Condiment packets and sporks would cheer me right up. You're always thinking of me. :hug:
By
Commissar Theocritus 2/12/2009, 12:59 am
Of course, traci, of course. We always want our incipient storm troopers and arbiters of the Current Wisdom to be well accoutered, and happy. You will always have as many plastic sporks as you can use, and as many translucent paper napkins as you can need. But do not tell the Holy Gore, for that is a crime against Gaia.
The Holy Gore recently has been astonishing. It's astonishing that he has taken on any new information, which is a first since 2000. Someone finally made him realize that at every speech he delivers it's in record cold and so he was not getting the maximum impact.
So now the Holy Gore has embarked on a new phase to save the planet! "Citizens of the Earth! Save the forests! Do not wipe your ass! I don't, and smell me!"
By
Red Star 2/12/2009, 12:51 pm
Great, fearless and generous leader; I feel we should have a contest. I noticed some items were still in the box I left at Rancho Rio Grande.
If you recall I took the Goons Highly Trained Troopers to work security at one of the Gala Balls for Obamessiah, while they stayed at the “Tick Tock Motor lodge” out on Route 301 in Bowie Maryland, it appears they decided to help themselves in the maids closet, Other than towels and sheets the they did not turn in to Uniforms or head garb, several hundred cases of little shampoos, mini bars of soap, mouthwash and toilet paper was procured.
Bruno left some items behind and I was thinking we could pass it out as rewards to Comrades like Tracy who excel and suck up to you fearless leader. Of course the grand prize could be the ash trays I stole borrowed from the Sheraton Northwest.
Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality Inc.
Director of kicking doors at midnight
Keeper of the Sacred Plasma Cutter.
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith
By
Commissar Theocritus 2/12/2009, 1:23 pm
Excellent work, as always, Red Star. Everyone needs lots of little tchotchkes especially ones that they did pay for.
Have you ever trained your goons Highly Trained Troopers to raid loading docks? Here in West Texas are are a few beer distributors who partake liberally of their product. I'm thinking that if we offered them say half gallon of Jack Black it would be a good investment in getting them passed out.
To make off with the warehouse.
Just saying.
By
Red Star 2/12/2009, 3:52 pm
Fearless and Generous Leader
The Goons Highly Trained Troopers, could be employed in such an endeavor, But please remember the Idiot named Julio Gushing at the feet of the Obamessiah the other day.....Well this is the standard Goon Highly Trained Trooper. Actually he was a-bit smarter. They hear Judy Garland and will light up Virginia Slims and start hanging out. Instructions must be Mono Syllabic and spoken very slowly.
Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality Inc.
Director of kicking doors at midnight
Keeper of the Sacred Plasma Cutter.
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith
By
Commissar Theocritus 2/12/2009, 6:38 pm
If your troopers are as energetic as Julio Gushing I commend you. I will also give you some of the tranqs that I stole off Meow the last time he was here. I gave one to a rampaging bull and it killed him but the dosage might be just about right.
Ah, the innocent faith of the young. And I can understand it. I recall the first time that I saw His O'liness, and how I instinctively lowered my head in reverence. Here, I thought, was a man with such a presence that he could say any old shit and make people believe it.
By
Red Star 2/12/2009, 8:48 pm
Thank you Kind and Generous leader, I generally give my Goons Highly Trained Troopers a Cocktail Cognac, Carisoprodol, Ketemin, and Clozapine. It generally keeps them quiet, obviously it did not work on Julio. But the Traqs Meow takes....I would say that my Cocktail is light weight, by comparison.
If you recall the last time we were setting around the fire at Rancho de Riogrande Meow was sleeping with his feet on the Hearth, when his shoes caught on fire, he was wearing them. But as we needed a good laugh that night, we let them burn. Amazingly, he expelled gas that damned near blew the wall out of the living room. He never woke up, and the next morning was shuffling around complaining, that his shoe were cheap, the house smelled "Stale" that Bruno was rude to him, muttering something about strange dreams he had, involving Rosie O'Donnell, and the Hindenburg..... Gawd I still have nightmares. Things that make you go bluuukkk.....
Ohhhhh Memories........
Commissar Red Star CEO Hemlock Hospitality Inc.
Director of kicking doors at midnight
Keeper of the Sacred Plasma Cutter.
Herdsman of Rainbow Farting Unicorns
Defender of the Faith
By
Commissar Theocritus 2/12/2009, 9:29 pm
Oh. My lord. I'd forgotten that. Thanks for reminding me. You remember him bitching that Bruno was being rude to him? Indeed. When he woke up Bruno had painted him up as a geisha, white face and all, and he looked in the mirror. And he was loving it.
He draped a tablecloth around himself, hunched his back and lowered his head and walked in mincing steps back in front of the mirror, admiring himself as a geisha.
That was when Bruno fell on the floor laughing, "Meow! Will you do the next drag show on Pearl Harbor Day?"
Meow didn't see me standing there and that's why he muttered to you that Bruno was rude to him.
Yes he was. He proposed that he work in a drag show instead of a geisha house.
The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans
of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent,
by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant
pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other -
until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's
official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand
Write down this number and report to your Kommissar at the nearest railroad station.
Don't forget warm clothes and a shovel!
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LA Times drops term "wild" describing fire, uses "undocumented" fire instead USA Today: big fires are getting bigger, small fires are getting smaller Reid: Global Warming caused fire by overheating arsonist's head, provoking delusional paranoia MoveOn.org pressures Congress to stop fighting fire and bring firemen home Reid: The war on fire is lost Pelosi: The number of fires has gone up since we started fighting fire Kerry: If you don't do well in school you'll get stuck fighting fire in California NY Times: Fighting fire creates even more fires Harry Reid auctions clothes, furniture, car on eBay in effort to make millions off his name. "If Limbaugh can do it so can I." No takers so far. Princess Leia Organa presents the Alderaanian Medal of Honor to Al Gore Did Che Guevara descend from Prophet Mohammed? San Andreas Fault in California preemptively renamed George Bush's Fault Media Matters editor blows self up over Limbaugh's 'bomber' remark End of Ramadan brings new rioting season to France Harry Reid bangs shoe on table: "We will bury you!" Dutch follow Ahmadinejad's lead, declare "there are no dykes in Holland" Ahmadinejad to Amerika: "Don't tase me, bro!" Bomb Girl and Taser Boy sell rights to their characters to Marvel Comics Cindy Sheehan hires Bomb Girl and Taser Boy as image consultants CBS stands by firing of Dan Rather: "He couldn't tell our logo from a hole in the ground" Jessie Jackson on Obama: "too White." Obama on Jackson: "I'm a smoke dat biatch if I see him"
Tasered victim at John Kerry's speech to receive Purple Heart Mugabe blames Zimbabwe's meltdown on Global Warming To stomp out possible confusion, MSM changes spelling of Obama to Ubama Craving acceptance from liberals, General Petraeus gains 300lbs and debuts report at Cannes. George Soros stops funding Democrats, converts to Islam Edwards: 41% of American children don't have lawyers John Edwards proposes "single payer" trial lawyer insurance for all, mandatory pre-jurisprudence care Illegal aliens kill people Americans won't killDemocrats select 2008 presidential slogan: "Death to America" Larry "Happy Feet" Craig uses Michael Flatley's Riverdance defense "Americans Coming Together" admit they had timing issues Presbyterian clergy issue fatwah calling for Pope's deathNew Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face Vick awaits doggie-style welcome in prison Rock star behaves like rap star: huge media outcry China's recall of defective Daily Kos bloggers causes suicides among Democrat strategists Al Gore to recall the Internet Media declares September National Bridge Awareness Month First New Orleans, now Minnesota: Anderson Cooper travels up the Mississippi without a paddle Ray Nagin pledges to build a chocolate bridge instead William Jefferson spotted under collapsed bridge retrieving mystery package Cannibalism, rape, looting, republicanism rampant in Minneapolis Lindsay Lohan to enter astronaut training program Nigeria's plan to nationalize local spam industry sparks massive riots in Lagos
Democrat Congress's two major victories: minimum wage increase and al-Qaeda's restored operating capability London Mayor Livingston mandates Sharia law at nightclubs to prevent further bombings Taliban spokesman blames media bias as civilian deaths from US air strikes grab headlines: "Taliban has murdered thousands of civilians and we can't even get mentioned on Countdown with Olbermann. What gives?"Back alley massage parlors now offering "better ending than Sopranos" Bush to close Gitmo, detainees released into Mexican custody to be put on fast track to US citizenship
Study: Dan rather still unable to tell the difference between Paris Hilton and Katie Couric Civil war in Gaza: if it's not in Iraq why report it? US media increasingly impatient at lack of civil war in IraqUS Embassy in Syria warns of sex attacks. So how long will Bill be visiting for? Delighted Dems: "The surge has failed!"MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza! Palestinians still wonder why their real civil war can't knock Iraq "civil war" off the front page As Albanians welcome Bush and show love for USA, NY Times offers them free subscriptions to "solve problem" Paris gets out of jail faster than an illegal immigrant Socialist utopia takes foothold in Venezuela as water cannons salute victory Pelosi: "I've seen climate change." John Fogerty of CCR also wants to know "if she's ever seen rain" Democrats call for troop withdrawal from Jersey Harry Reid: "Troop presence in New Jersey creating more terrorists" French riot police deployed as open minded, tolerant socialists expected to react to election results Progressives concerned with Sarkozy's "extremist agenda " of rule of law and assimilation to French culture Dems: War needs deadline; only social policies can run indefinitely Sheryl Crow to wipe out global warming one butt at a time Va Tech lessons for MSM: must ban guns, rich kids ACLU calls for calm, fears backlash against innocent gun owners: 'all gun owners aren't terrorists' Liberal groups join gun tolerance and awareness workshops Gun owners converting to Islam in droves to ward off profiling Sharp jump in number of 'non-decapitated' babies following Supreme Court decision Sharpton makes a list of 57 Don Imus sympathizers on public airwaves Al Gore and John Kerry agree: people who live in greenhouses should not expel noxious gases Al Gore hired by K-Y to pro- mote Global Warming Jelly New study shows Earth's 'fever' contagious; Mars asks planets to kick 'Greenhouse Mary' out of solar system Schumer demands Karl Rove be indicted on 1976 parking ticket Al Qaeda reacts to Schumer attack: "Thank Allah we're not Republicans!" Dems: Khalid Sheik Mohamed just watched too many episodes of 24 and made all that stuff in his confession up Fitzgerald to prosecute Ann Coulter for disclosing identity of presidential candidate John Edwards Following Scooter Libby success, media demands journalists be included on all future juries Kent State professor calls for bin Laden victory: time to bring in the National Guard again? Hollywood to America: our moral issues are better than your moral issues Obama promises to "purge himself" if he loses to Hillary to spare the public a lengthy trial House vote: Insurgents react with non-binding IED Democrat leaders don't support terrorists but they support their mission North Korea agrees to nuclear disarmament, media hails Madeleine Albright Bush: I support Democrat majority - but not their mission Is it time for Pinochet yet? Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History
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Experts: assassin hid bomb in anal cavity adjacent to brain
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Al-Qaeda founder discovers DNC playbook, attacks own side in war an terror
Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win
New Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face
MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza!
Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History
