Karl Marx Treatment Center
            Shop At The People's Cube Store
Karl Marx Treatment Center
The People's Cube
Subscribe | Join the Glorious Collective | Submissions | 
The People's Cube on FacebookThe People's Cube Youtube ChannelBuild Your Own XML RSS Cube FeedSimple RSS Cube Feed
 
 
       Karl Marx Treatment Center - an outpatient Gulag program
MOTHER PAGE CURRENT TRUTH PEOPLE'S BLOG GROUPTHINK DRY GOODS   ABOUT   FEEDBACK
  WHAT IS PEOPLE'S CUBE?
You might be guilty of thoughtcrime if...

PEOPLE'S COLUMN

ASK A LEADER

 

RED PLANET

 
Winner of The Most
Politically Correct Web Site Medal and Award, 2005

DONATE!
KEEP THE CUBE ROLLING!
FRESH FROM THE CUBE
Newsletter

Subscribe voluntarily and we promise that the KGB will not sell your email down the river to other spy agencies



















Winner of
HERO OF CHANGE
Medal and Award, 2008



Awarded "Friend of People"
License and Medallion, 1957



 

SHAMELESS
MATERIALISTIC
BOURGEOIS
PROPAGANDA

buy this T-shirt


buy a T-shirt

SEE LARGER IMAGE

buy this T-shirt


buy this T-shirt


buy a T-shirt


BUY T-SHIRT


buy a T-shirt

buy a T-shirt


buy a T-shirt


buy a T-shirt  





Get The People's Cube!

CLICK TO ZOOM

Re-educate
your friends, family, and co-workers!








 

   
Print PRINT THIS PAGE
Page 1 of 2   Goto page 1, 2  Next View previous topic :: View next topic

I Want To Be Banned From England Like Michael Savage
By Red Square
5/8/2009, 1:13 am

We don't always agree with Michael Savage, but yesterday we learned that the San Francisco-based radio talk-show host was barred from entering Great Britain because of his opinions. Tonight our reader Jill emailed us with this I-am-Spartacus-type answer to the British Home Office, which is responsible for the ban:

Dear People's Cube,
I've sent the following to the Home Office. You are welcomed to email them as well, and turn yourselves in for thought crimes. It's the right thing to do if you are guilty, which I'm certain you are.
~

Sent: Thursday, May 07, 2009 1:25 PM
To: public.enquiries@homeoffice.gsi.gov.uk
Subject: I want to be banned from England, too

An Open Letter to the Home Office from Jill Putnam

So, Michael Savage is a thoughtcriminal. I humbly beseech with shovel in hand for Commissar Smith to place me on the banned list with Michael Savage.

Here are my thought crimes:

  • I voted for Sarah Palin in the last presidential election.
  • I mortally fear Obama and The Party.
  • I don't own a gun, but I feel safer when other people do.
  • I'm a tea partier who created this sign: "Don't Tread On Me: Taxed Enough Already."
  • I believe government officials should answer to the people - not the other way around.
  • I've read the US Constitution.
  • I've read the US Constitution more than once.
  • I own a copy of the Federalist Papers, Wealth of Nations, and multiple versions of the Holy Bible.
  • Some of my conservative views border on Libertarian.
  • I listen to Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity on the radio every chance I can.
  • I watch Glenn Beck on Fox News whenever possible.
  • I believe abortion is murder, and therefore do not want to pay for abortion through taxes.
  • I believe Adam and Eve were man and woman, respectively.
  • My worst offense is I'm a Christian who believes Jesus is the only way to heaven.
  • My son fought in Afghanistan and I'm proud of it.
  • I don't believe waterboarding is torture, especially because the military does it to enlisted men as part of training.

Thank you for consideration of my request. I'll never understand why we broke away from Great Britain and am so grateful to Jackboot Jacqui Smith who, along with Dear Leader Obama, will correct the mistake. I look forward to a long and deserved rail trip through the countryside.

Unredeemed American thoughtcriminal,
Jill Putnam
Cleveland, GA, USA


It turns out the government official responsible for the blacklist, Jacqui Smith, was being PC and added some Westerners to avoid appearing prejudiced against Muslims. Perhaps she'll blacklist us too, along with murderous Islamofascists, Hamas, skinhead white supremacists, and a radio talk-show host and author, Michael Savage.

<< Commissarka Jacqui Smith
Reply with quote

By Lenin 'n' Things
5/8/2009, 2:44 am
Jaysus titty feckin' Christmas....wadda buncha Sassenach loons.


If they could have read my thoughts when i was there last....they probably would have had me shot. Damn anglish.
Reply with quote

By Comrade Whoopie
5/8/2009, 8:39 am
Damn, so much for my plans to go to England to get the best dental care their tax money can buy.
Reply with quote

By Laika the Space Dog
5/8/2009, 8:53 am
"We shall abolish the orgasm. Our neurologists are at work upon it now. There will be no loyalty, except loyalty towards the Party. There will be no love, except the love of Big Brother. There will be no laughter, except the laugh of triumph over a defeated enemy. There will be no art, no literature, no science. When we are omnipotent there will be no need of science. There will be no distinction between beauty and ugliness. There will be no curiosity, no enjoyment of the process of life. All competing pleasures will be destroyed. But always—do not forget this Winston—always there will be the intoxication of power, constantly increasing and constantly growing subtler. Always, at every moment, there will be the thrill of victory, the sensation of trampling on an enemy who is helpless. If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face—forever."

It's off to Room 101 in the Ministry of Love for this savage Savage!
Reply with quote

By Colonel 7.62
5/8/2009, 9:56 am
{off} I'm sure George Orwell is spinning in his grave along with Churchill
Reply with quote

By Czar Nicholas
5/8/2009, 11:28 am
I wonder where Comrade Red Square shakes out on the Guilt Meter? This should determine the level of guilt and punishment! Long Live the Oppressive Government! Cheers.
Reply with quote

By Fifth Column
5/8/2009, 1:59 pm
Comrades!

It is good to see our brothers and sisters in the United People's Kingdom making such excellent progress! Now that they have successfully kept out foreigners who don't conform to The Ideal, they can begin focusing on citizens who are not following this week's version of The Ideal. Next will be UPK radio personalities who dare utter a derogatory word against the Collective. Then Business owners are next. Before we know it mere citizens will be summarily executed for the least offense.

All glory to the collective!
Reply with quote

By Red Rooster
5/8/2009, 3:05 pm
Finally! More Progressive genius from the UPK.   Our comrades over at BraveNewFilms are very busy spreading The Current Truth as well:

Reply with quote

By Great Stalin's Ghost
5/8/2009, 3:23 pm
Oh my Lenin, I too am a thought criminal! I've read the Constitution, and Adam Smith, and The Federalist Papers. There are Bibles in my home . . . and . . .  and . . . and I can't go on. The guilt is overwhelming. I will report to the train station immediately. I am so guilty, I won't even allow myself the luxury of a shovel. I will bring a spoon. And if I ever do manage to go to England, I will crawl on my bruised and callused hands and knees to Jaqui Smith and to the Finsbury Mosque to beg for forgiveness.
Reply with quote

By Commissarka Pinkie
5/8/2009, 3:46 pm
After reading Comrade Jill's open letter (which, along with her mouth, she might have been well advised to keep shut), it is clear that according to current DHS criteria, she is also a rightwing terrorist who would think nothing of trying to recruit me, since I'm a military vet and according to everyone who knows me, I'm almost always disgruntled about one damn thing or another.
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/8/2009, 3:52 pm
Well I might as well join in. I did all that too. Darn if only I had known before I knew I could have prevented this by preventing it.
Well nothing to do about it now but send me letter as Jill did and own up to it.
Where did I put my Shovel?
If only my Family had known when they entered the US in Savannah with Oglethorpe. I blame them. (Some reactionary blaming is always good for the Collective Soul).
If only the Erie Indian half had known crossing the Border from Canada would lead to this. (It's their fault too.) I am going to surrender up my entire family. Including my reactionary Canadian Wife. {She has Indian and French in her and a Welsh name Shhh}
Reply with quote

By Zampolit Blokhayev
5/8/2009, 4:55 pm
I thought conservative talk radio WAS hate speech and the hosts of these shows the purveyors thereof?

A glorious example of what will be coming our way in the next couple of years! Let's raise a pint and toast the U.K. for illuminating the way for us!
Reply with quote

By Comrade Lysenko
5/8/2009, 6:30 pm
Laika the Space Dog wrote
"We shall abolish the orgasm. Our neurologists are at work upon it now. There will be no loyalty, except loyalty towards the Party. There will be no love, except the love of Big Brother.


All orgasms shall be replaced by Party approved  ObamagasmsTM
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/8/2009, 6:37 pm
Would those be Steam Orgasm's or Electric?
Reply with quote

By Comrade Jill
5/8/2009, 6:47 pm
Commissarka Pinkie wrote
After reading Comrade Jill's open letter (which, along with her mouth, she might have been well advised to keep shut), it is clear that according to current DHS criteria, she is also a rightwing terrorist who would think nothing of trying to recruit me, since I'm a military vet and according to everyone who knows me, I'm almost always disgruntled about one damn thing or another.


You are so right, Commissarka Pinkie. You shouldn't be talking to me until after I return from re-education camp, if I return, and even then, you should always suspect me of corrupting happy workers, pointing out inconsistencies and fallacies.

It's no use! There may be little hope I'll ever change until I confess IT. The thing I've been holding back...

I was a John Birch Society Youth member. <tears>

We said the pledge of allegiance to the US Flag! We read America's founding documents and spread the word about America's slow drift toward tyranny.

I grew up with five brothers and sisters in a Christian Conservative home with parents who didn't blow pot smoke in our faces.  

It gets worse: When we weren't singing camp songs at home, we volunteered as a family for Republican campaigns...I licked stamps for Richard Nixon!!!

There, it's finally out, and I've snitched on my parents.

I realize my next step is to turn myself, my family, pastor and neighbors in to the DHS. Perhaps then I will finally shake this non-complacency and thoughts of individual rights and freedoms.
Reply with quote

By Comrade Jill
5/8/2009, 6:51 pm
PS (I love all you comrades here at the Cube. You've gotten me through the last six months. You are priceless. Thanks!)
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/8/2009, 7:32 pm
Comrade Jill wrote
Commissarka Pinkie wrote
After reading Comrade Jill's open letter (which, along with her mouth, she might have been well advised to keep shut), it is clear that according to current DHS criteria, she is also a rightwing terrorist who would think nothing of trying to recruit me, since I'm a military vet and according to everyone who knows me, I'm almost always disgruntled about one damn thing or another.


You are so right, Commissarka Pinkie. You shouldn't be talking to me until after I return from re-education camp, if I return, and even then, you should always suspect me of corrupting happy workers, pointing out inconsistencies and fallacies.

It's no use! There may be little hope I'll ever change until I confess IT. The thing I've been holding back...

I was a John Birch Society Youth member. <tears>

We said the pledge of allegiance to the US Flag! We read America's founding documents and spread the word about America's slow drift toward tyranny.

I grew up with five brothers and sisters in a Christian Conservative home with parents who didn't blow pot smoke in our faces.  

It gets worse: When we weren't singing camp songs at home, we volunteered as a family for Republican campaigns...I licked stamps for Richard Nixon!!!

There, it's finally out, and I've snitched on my parents.

I realize my next step is to turn myself, my family, pastor and neighbors in to the DHS. Perhaps then I will finally shake this non-complacency and thoughts of individual rights and freedoms.


You have potential. Have you ever been water boarded?
Can you say Gulag and Gitmo in the same sentence?
Do you have a Red Shirt in your closet that you only wear at night when no is looking?
Can you say Che and make it sound chic?
Have you offered confessional to the Marshall (PUP)?
Have you ever harbored a secret desire to visit Mexico and 'sneak' back across the border with your 'Comrades"?
Consider these questions carefully then answer them in your own mind. If the answers are incorrect turn yourself into the Thought Police immediately at any MSNBC or CNN substation.
Whatever you do do not watch the English Movie V for Vendetta.
Reply with quote

By Progressive Chicken
5/8/2009, 7:40 pm
I'm so ashamed...

I was a member of the Imperialist military for many years...
I voted Republican...
I supported the capitalist machine by buying Amerikan made products...

I shall weigh myself down with chains and walk barefoot thru broken glass to the nearest train station, carrying my shovel with the broken handle.
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/8/2009, 7:48 pm
The Homeless do that for fun. Find something more appropriate.
Consider watching Che part II Thirty times in the original Spanish language version.
Wear a shirt saying I Support Big Brother and I missed 1984.
Run through the center of London shouting Guy Fawkes he's my Man. If Guy can't do it no one can!!!
Let's get creative out there folks. We need new punishments. The old ones are being outlawed by the Soviet Federal Assembly.
Reply with quote

By Great Stalin's Ghost
5/8/2009, 7:57 pm
Comrade Jill wrote
PS (I love all you comrades here at the Cube. You've gotten me through the last six months. You are priceless. Thanks!)


You'd better be careful where you put your love, Comrade Jill. The only politically correct and party approved love is that love that radiates from all of us toward The Obama. Any other love could get you banned from Obama's AmeriCCCPa.
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/8/2009, 8:20 pm
This Love may be purchased at the same cost as two shovels.
Reply with quote

By AbecedariusRex
5/8/2009, 8:55 pm
I submit myself for thought crimes:
a. I like a bathroom with a hot shower
b. I like food that is actually cooked
c. I don't like blood pudding
d. I like cold beer
e. I have no idea what a trotter is
f.  I like paying less than 8.00 per gallon for gasoline
g. I enjoy being able to eat Indian food without having to listen to the Muzzein
h. I don't enjoy being watched by cameras everywhere I go
i.  I think cops should carry guns
j. And I enjoy whistling in the elevator instead of the lift
I suppose this would cancel my annual trip to Avebury Tor to welcome the solsticial sunrise with the blood of a new virgin, yes?
Reply with quote

By Red Square
5/8/2009, 9:02 pm
Speaking of love, here is an old Soviet joke from my school days, as I remember it:

In the spirit of new times, Soviet public schools introduced a class on sexual education. The first lesson begins as follows:

"As you know, children, there are different kinds of love. Love between the mother and her child is something you are experiencing every day and there is no need for us to focus on that. Love between a man and a woman has been well researched in literature and films, so there is no need for us to spend any more time on it. Love between a man and a man is criminal offense and so we won't be covering it here at all. But there is also a deep, overpowering love between the Soviet people and their Motherland, the Party, and the Soviet government - and this is exactly the kind of love we will be learning about in this semester."

----------------
I warned you - since the last election Soviet jokes are becoming increasingly more translatable...
Reply with quote

By AbecedariusRex
5/8/2009, 9:04 pm
Ha ha ha.  Not Michael Savage, but something like him.  Wonder if he'll be banned from Britain... Oh wait!  HE'S ALREADY OVER THERE!  too late, Jacqui, you missed this guy.

Reply with quote

By AbecedariusRex
5/8/2009, 9:21 pm
Red Square wrote
Speaking of love, here is an old Soviet joke from my school days, as I remember it:

In the spirit of new times, Soviet public schools introduced a class on sexual education. The first lesson begins as follows:

"As you know, children, there are different kinds of love. Love between the mother and her child is something you are experiencing every day and there is no need for us to focus on that. Love between a man and a woman has been well researched in literature and films, so there is no need for us to spend any more time on it. Love between a man and a man is criminal offense and so we won't be covering it here at all. But there is also a deep, overpowering love between the Soviet people and their Motherland, the Party, and the Soviet government - and this is exactly the kind of love we will be learning about in this semester."

----------------
I warned you - since the last election Soviet jokes are becoming increasingly more translatable...


Would this type of love be like Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice? (people, motherland, party, government)  or if the people and the party are one, wouldn't it be more like dancing with the archbishop?  Sorry, wrestling the purple helmeted love god?  I mean, shaking the weasel?  you know, flogging saint Richard?
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/8/2009, 9:22 pm
AbecedariusRex wrote
I submit myself for thought crimes:
a. I like a bathroom with a hot shower
b. I like food that is actually cooked
c. I don't like blood pudding
d. I like cold beer
e. I have no idea what a trotter is
f.  I like paying less than 8.00 per gallon for gasoline
g. I enjoy being able to eat Indian food without having to listen to the Muzzein
h. I don't enjoy being watched by cameras everywhere I go
i.  I think cops should carry guns
j. And I enjoy whistling in the elevator instead of the lift
I suppose this would cancel my annual trip to Avebury Tor to welcome the solsticial sunrise with the blood of a new virgin, yes?


Hmm Roundabout there might be a way to attend and still not be there.
Consider an out of body experience.
Re c. I suppose Haggis is out also?
Re d. Beer come any other way?
Re f. Isn't that Ł8 per Litre?
Re g. Indian? We play Drums while white man smoke (on spit) Oh. Those Indians.
Re i. We do so far, including Tasers and Taser Guns, Mace, Pepper Spray, PR 24's, Hand irons, and something with bullets in it. Gonna remember what it is one of these days.
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/8/2009, 9:33 pm
AbecedariusRex wrote
Red Square wrote
Speaking of love, here is an old Soviet joke from my school days, as I remember it:

In the spirit of new times, Soviet public schools introduced a class on sexual education. The first lesson begins as follows:

"As you know, children, there are different kinds of love. Love between the mother and her child is something you are experiencing every day and there is no need for us to focus on that. Love between a man and a woman has been well researched in literature and films, so there is no need for us to spend any more time on it. Love between a man and a man is criminal offense and so we won't be covering it here at all. But there is also a deep, overpowering love between the Soviet people and their Motherland, the Party, and the Soviet government - and this is exactly the kind of love we will be learning about in this semester."

----------------
I warned you - since the last election Soviet jokes are becoming increasingly more translatable...


Would this type of love be like Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice? (people, motherland, party, government)  or if the people and the party are one, wouldn't it be more like dancing with the archbishop?  Sorry, wrestling the purple helmeted love god?  I mean, shaking the weasel?  you know, flogging saint Richard?


You through 'beating' around the bush?  
Reply with quote

By AbecedariusRex
5/8/2009, 9:39 pm
Guardian of Pravda wrote
You through 'beating' around the bush?


I never beat around the bush.  I always go deep into the bush, shoot twice, and eat what I shoot.  Though I have been known, on lonely evenings, to polish my gun to a glistening sheen!!!
Reply with quote

By Khruelchev
5/8/2009, 9:41 pm
Comrade Square, there is reason dispensing this excellent humor is now life of party! Using superior party logic trumps even the best capitalistic attempts to be funny. For example, take a bourgeois slave to capitalism, give him a rubber chicken, then put him up against partty member with cleverly decorated shovel. No contest! The shovel always wins!
Reply with quote

By AbecedariusRex
5/8/2009, 9:41 pm
In other news, they just released the NYflyby photos from Airforceonegate.  And the price tag.  What a trip.  There's good use of the public funds by the party.

Here's my blog on it all:

Sing to the tune of $328,835
Reply with quote

By AbecedariusRex
5/8/2009, 9:46 pm
Khruelchev wrote
Comrade Square, there is reason dispensing this excellent humor is now life of party! Using superior party logic trumps even the best capitalistic attempts to be funny. For example, take a bourgeois slave to capitalism, give him a rubber chicken, then put him up against partty member with cleverly decorated shovel. No contest! The shovel always wins!


As Comrade Mae West said, "You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think."
Reply with quote

By Khruelchev
5/8/2009, 10:22 pm
Quote

As Comrade Mae West said, "You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think."


Comrade, this whore needs to be acquainted with Comrade Obama. Glorious leader will have her in shovel and work pajamas before she can say "Sugar Beets"
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/8/2009, 10:36 pm
AbecedariusRex wrote
Guardian of Pravda wrote
You through 'beating' around the bush?


I never beat around the bush.  I always go deep into the bush, shoot twice, and eat what I shoot.  Though I have been known, on lonely evenings, to polish my gun to a glistening sheen!!!


Ohhhhh the innuendo.

Old Chinese saying. 'Man who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand'.
I know this to an old Chinese saying as I knew the old Chinese guy that said it. Won Han down.
He was practitioner of reactionary Bourgeois sayings left over from Pre-Freedom giving Communist government currently welding power in land once known as Sina, now called China, today.
Possibly he was also banned from England as he never went there.
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/8/2009, 10:36 pm
Khruelchev wrote
Comrade Square, there is reason dispensing this excellent humor is now life of party! Using superior party logic trumps even the best capitalistic attempts to be funny. For example, take a bourgeois slave to capitalism, give him a rubber chicken, then put him up against partty member with cleverly decorated shovel. No contest! The shovel always wins!

The Proles must laugh....or they will be shot.
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/8/2009, 10:42 pm
Khruelchev wrote
Quote

As Comrade Mae West said, "You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think."


Comrade, this whore needs to be acquainted with Comrade Obama. Glorious leader will have her in shovel and work pajamas before she can say "Sugar Beets"


sugar beet what? Oh wait Beets!. Got it. Never mind.
Mae West was banned from England too. She also never went there. (Possibly a Morals problem as she had none)
Reply with quote

By Comrade Meatshield
5/8/2009, 10:49 pm
Zampolit Blokhayev wrote
A glorious example of what will be coming our way in the next couple of years! Let's raise a pint and toast the U.K. for illuminating the way for us!

Yes, Comrade Zampolit, let's! Because in their dhimmitude they will not be allowed to do the same.
Reply with quote

By Red Square
5/8/2009, 10:58 pm
Through a link in the stats, I stumbled on a British blog called "Orwell's Picnic," whose author quotes this story and answers Jill's challenge by suggesting the "I Want to be Banned from Britain Too" game.

He asks his readers to

1) List their Thoughtcrimes.

2) Email them to Jack-boot Jacquie Smith, Gordo's Home Secretary, with the following note:

    Dear eminent mouthpiece of our Dear Leader,

    With regard to your most recent efforts to rid our nation of wrongthinkfulness, I wish to submit the enclosed list of thoughtcrimes, to which I freely and willingly admit.

    I have come to see the innapropriateness of my ways. I hereby certify that I wish to be helped to realise a more tolerant and diversity-minded lifestyle.

    I therefore request immediate retrieval by duly authorised agents of the state and transport to the nearest facility for re-education.

    Thank you for your consideration.

    [signed]
----------------------------------
It's picking up!
Reply with quote

By AbecedariusRex
5/8/2009, 11:05 pm
Guardian of Pravda wrote
AbecedariusRex wrote
Guardian of Pravda wrote
You through 'beating' around the bush?


I never beat around the bush.  I always go deep into the bush, shoot twice, and eat what I shoot.  Though I have been known, on lonely evenings, to polish my gun to a glistening sheen!!!


Ohhhhh the innuendo.

Old Chinese saying. 'Man who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand'.
I know this to an old Chinese saying as I knew the old Chinese guy that said it. Won Han down.


He must have known that great author, Long Bang Dong, who wrote "Spots on the Wall".  I love that book.
Reply with quote

By AbecedariusRex
5/8/2009, 11:07 pm
Guardian of Pravda wrote
Khruelchev wrote
Quote

As Comrade Mae West said, "You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think."


Comrade, this whore needs to be acquainted with Comrade Obama. Glorious leader will have her in shovel and work pajamas before she can say "Sugar Beets"


sugar beet what? Oh wait Beets!. Got it. Never mind.
Mae West was banned from England too. She also never went there. (Possibly a Morals problem as she had none)


One of my favorite quotations from Comrade West was "One more drink and I'll be under the host."  That would probably get anyone banned.

Of course their was Mr. Churchill who, when someone said about his expansive girth, "Sir, if that stomach were on a lady she'd be in a family way" he responded "Ma'am it was and she is."
Reply with quote

By Red Square
5/8/2009, 11:53 pm
Get a room, you three.
Reply with quote

By Commodore Snoogie Woogums
5/9/2009, 1:26 am
Comrades,

While I am for banning anyone from entering a country if they don't tow the party line and actually hold thought crimes, that run counter to progressive thinking, I do have to say this is just a tad bit unfair to Mr. Savage.
As a good progressive I of course am consumed with everything being fair in life. Mr. Savage had already made reservations and purchased an airline ticket, with a fine British airline. No doubt to fly over the pond and enjoy some of that fine cuisine that Britian is famous for.  At least the British Labor Government should refund the cash to him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VLYpKGVBUg
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/9/2009, 8:49 am
Red Square wrote
Get a room, you three.

A Boudoir?
Reply with quote

By AbecedariusRex
5/9/2009, 11:57 am
Guardian of Pravda wrote
Red Square wrote
Get a room, you three.

A Boudoir?


"Donner, party of three"
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/9/2009, 12:06 pm
High in the Snow Capped Mountains? Coors Light upon request.
Say what was the original thread here...... I forgot.
Ah yes Savages banned from England.
Hey I thought all we Colonist were banned from England.
Quote
No doubt to fly over the pond and enjoy some of that fine cuisine that Britian is famous for


English Muffins? All that way for a Muffin. Micheal needs his head examined. You can buy them in Winn Dixie or Wally World.
Remember 'The One' says Buy American, even if it's made somewhere else.
Reply with quote

By Commissar_Elliott
5/9/2009, 12:35 pm
Well, The Party of 1984 didn't allow many thoughtcriminals in, and kept the working, oppressed proles from going out. So it's a safe say England is following good Party policies.
Reply with quote

By Comrade Jill
5/9/2009, 9:48 pm
Guardian of Pravda,

I long to be water boarded Japanese style. Wink

I submit myself to the governing authorities for thought reconstruction. I may soon become  known as a Christian Socialist. As such, I shall enjoy the secular jocularity at the Cube and the Party approved jokes. The capitalist with the rubber chicken is hilarious Party joke, and of course, we never laugh at O jokes because we never tell them that we should be tempted to laugh at Dear Leader.

Anybody who does should be banned from England!
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/9/2009, 10:54 pm
Comrade Jill wrote
Guardian of Pravda,

I long to be water boarded Japanese style. Wink

I submit myself to the governing authorities for thought reconstruction. I may soon become  known as a Christian Socialist. As such, I shall enjoy the secular jocularity at the Cube and the Party approved jokes. The capitalist with the rubber chicken is hilarious Party joke, and of course, we never laugh at O jokes because we never tell them that we should be tempted to laugh at Dear Leader.

Anybody who does should be banned from England!

You wish to commit Mizu Kiri? Did you want the Ohkii Mizu Kiri (large) or Chiisai (Small)?
Very Honorable. I will consult the Water Board Samuri for scheduling. (The Ninjas sneaked off)

A Social Christian is a good thing, oh wait Socialist Christian. (Scientology?)
What sex jocularity? Ahh. Secular. Hmm.  I do not think anyone approved Party Jokes as I do not think the Party approves of Jokes (Although they elected one)
I believe you are on the right track and will soon become a good Party member. You do have a shovel right? (I suggest a spare for rainy days)

It's good to see progressive thoughts come to the front and know that the Brain Washing Indoctrination practiced by the Thought Police at CNN and MSNBC Central are working.

P.S. I  thought everyone was banned from England on General Principle.
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/10/2009, 2:37 pm
Try this for a picture pf party  (and Non Party) Heroes.
The Groups as a hmm Group.
Reply with quote

By Comrade Lysenko
5/10/2009, 6:38 pm
Guardian of Pravda wrote
Would those be Steam Orgasm's or Electric?


Only solar or wind powered ObamagasmsTM are permitted by the Party. The Goracle has deemed proles using non-green stimuli as enemies of the people, subject to severe punishment, such as enduring a Keith Olbermann delivered waterboarding colonic.
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/10/2009, 7:46 pm
It is to shudder to consider such punishment.
This wind Power would be breaking?
Many have been Soylent on this subject simply for that reason, a fear of the breaking and the punishment.
Let us all bow our heads and shoulder our shovels.
Reply with quote

By Colonel 7.62
5/11/2009, 2:07 am
I have many problems with shovels comrades.  They do not exactly have a small carbon footprint.  In fact carbon is specifically used in MAKING steel.  Plus the fossil fuels consumed in mining, transporting, and smelting the ore.  Then the conversion to steel.  And WOODEN HANDLES? THAT IS A DEAD TREE COMRADES.  Lastly all the CARBON dioxide exhaled while digging.

I DENOUNCE SHOVELS!  SHOW TRIAL FOR SHOVELS!
Reply with quote

By Commissarka Pinkie
5/11/2009, 8:09 am
Gee, Colonel 7.62, why don't you just tape a sign to your back that says, "PINKIE, I'M BEGGING YOU, I'M PLEADING WITH YOU, IN FACT, I'M ON MY KNEES NOT ONLY IN ENTREATY, BUT TO MAKE IT EASIER FOR YOU--PLEASE, PLEASE, COMMISSARKA--WHACK ME WITH YOUR SHOVEL!"

Shovels are the most important tool we have, Comrades.  Did Obama speak of hammer ready jobs?  Saw ready jobs?  Allen wrench ready jobs?  No, he called them SHOVEL ready jobs!  

Therefore, shovels are great.  Shovels are glorious.  Shovels are objects to be cherished.  

Now, you do make a point about the carbon and the ore and the dead trees, etc.  That is why we need to lay the foundation for taking steps to find ways we can empower ourselves to approach this issue and discuss the various ways we can communicate with our elected representatives and persuade them of the need to pass resolutions calling for the necessity of introducing legislation to take action to find new, green, energy-saving ways of making shovels without doing any further harm to Our Deteriorating Atmosphere.

And we have to do it NOW . . . before it's too late to do anything.
Reply with quote

By Commissar Theocritus
5/11/2009, 11:57 am
Uh, you do have a point, Commissarka, about there not being any allen-wrench-ready jobs.

But every ThoughtCriminal is a MotoTool ready job in Jiffi-Lobo.

--------

Mae West: When you're young, keep a diary. When you're old, it'll keep you."
Reply with quote

By Red Square
5/11/2009, 12:18 pm
Thank you, Pinkie! I think this is what Yelling Yelena was saying when she became immortalized in the famous photo. I'm trying to find a way to bring it up to give Yelena a greater exposure (in a Party-compliant sense)

Reply with quote

By Commissar Theocritus
5/11/2009, 12:30 pm
Red, I'm feeling a Matthews-like tingle up my leg, and it's rising, and rising, and rising.

I think that Yelling Ylena is going to be the woman for me. The woman who can change my luck. I'll cross the street for her and her shovel.

....but don't tell Bruno. Talk about loud...
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/11/2009, 5:30 pm
It is a nice shovel. Look like it has 'been around the block' [kind of like the owner]
The pits give it a certain ruggedness and the obvious signs of wear and tear tell of experience. That is the shovel on the left is it not?
Hmm. When you cross the street Commissar watch for speeding Zils with Mafia types in them. They are throwback reactionaries of the old days of the party.
When men were men and so were the women like Yelling there. (She is loud isn't she?)
Ahhhhhhhh Comrade Pinkie as to carbon footprint less shovels they call those 'sticks'.
Reply with quote

By Commissarka Pinkie
5/11/2009, 5:59 pm
Theocritus, I am wounded.  You'd cross the street for Yelling Yelena but not for me?  

And as for Red Square taking my words and giving them to her--what am I now, her speechwriter?  Is that what I've been reduced to while SHE gets "greater exposure"?  Next thing I know, you'll be setting HER up for a date with Brad Pitt!  

Now I know how it feels to be Obama's teleprompter.  

I am totally unappreciated around here.  What would all of you do if I left?  I've a good mind to, and I know just where to go:  England!  Certainly someone of my Progressive thinking will be welcomed there.  I'm no Thoughtcriminal or terrorist like Comrade Jill.  And they need a replacement for Princess Diana.  Who better than me?  

And what greater opportunity than this for me to rekindle my teenage crush on Prince Andrew?  Maybe this time I can land him.

That's it.  I'm leaving before Betinov shows up and decides HE wants to hit on Yelena!  I don't think my stomach could bear it.     
     
Just try and stop me.  Try and talk me out of it.  Beg me to stay.  I'm waiting.  

Don't any of you have anything to say?  

Anything?

Anything at all?
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/11/2009, 6:07 pm
When you leave would you drop off the garbage?
Reply with quote

By Khruelchev
5/11/2009, 7:52 pm
Quote

Just try and stop me.  Try and talk me out of it.  Beg me to stay.  I'm waiting.


Pinkie, you would leave Amerika just when it is becoming socialt paradise under most glorious leader? Say it aint so! I will make plan for glorious night with you. A little vodka, a little stirring selection of Red Army chorus songs. Let me say our shovels will not be only things making sparks!
We can get matching work pajamas!
Don't you want to be here when glorious leader sets up the koolaid camps?
I have my popcorn and my shovel ready!
Reply with quote

By Superkommissar Maksim
5/11/2009, 8:02 pm
Pinkie, I for one would be devastated if you left, unless you first authorized someone to award me Beet of The Week on a regular schedule.
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/11/2009, 8:14 pm
Such Love, Such Loyalty, Such Comradeship and Stand by me ness. Chokes me up. Actually is was a bite of an apple but I would gladly apply the emotion to this moment.
(No cost)
Reply with quote

By Colonel 7.62
5/11/2009, 9:18 pm
Commissarka Pinkie wrote
Gee, Colonel 7.62, why don't you just tape a sign to your back that says, "PINKIE, I'M BEGGING YOU, I'M PLEADING WITH YOU, IN FACT, I'M ON MY KNEES NOT ONLY IN ENTREATY, BUT TO MAKE IT EASIER FOR YOU--PLEASE, PLEASE, COMMISSARKA--WHACK ME WITH YOUR SHOVEL!"

Shovels are the most important tool we have, Comrades.  Did Obama speak of hammer ready jobs?  Saw ready jobs?  Allen wrench ready jobs?  No, he called them SHOVEL ready jobs!  

Therefore, shovels are great.  Shovels are glorious.  Shovels are objects to be cherished.  

Now, you do make a point about the carbon and the ore and the dead trees, etc.  That is why we need to lay the foundation for taking steps to find ways we can empower ourselves to approach this issue and discuss the various ways we can communicate with our elected representatives and persuade them of the need to pass resolutions calling for the necessity of introducing legislation to take action to find new, green, energy-saving ways of making shovels without doing any further harm to Our Deteriorating Atmosphere.

And we have to do it NOW . . . before it's too late to do anything.


Come now Comrade Comissarka.  After you pitch your fit, you admit I am right.  And then call for finding a solution.  Is not a show trial one way of finding a solution?  

Shovels are to be loved, but they are destroying our environment.  Just like the rifles of Comrade Kalashnikov that I hold so dear.  

Obama speaks of shovels, but he has not found a way to offset their carbon.  Meanwhile I have found an offset for the Red Guard's™ rifle's.  It is a cap and trade.  We cap a thought criminal and trade his carbon emissions for our offset.  It is most glorious and progressive.  What have you done for your shovels, other than writing speeches for Comrade Yelena?
Reply with quote

By AbecedariusRex
5/11/2009, 10:05 pm
Let's not bicker about ooo kills ooo.  we're all in this together.  And of course we can all admit that though Comradess Yelling Yelena may have a big mouth, commissarka Pinkie has a huge tract of shovel. Let's not forget our common enemy, brothers.  THE POPULIST PEOPLE'S FRONT?



NO, the people's front of Judea.

Reply with quote

By Colonel 7.62
5/11/2009, 10:09 pm
Indeed Commissarka Pinkie has a very huge umm shovel. Yes huge shovel.  Very, very huge.  Quite noticeable, especially in a bathing suit.  Umm the aahhh shovel is much more visible then.  Particularly  when viewed from behind.
Reply with quote

By Comrade Hasan
5/11/2009, 10:48 pm

This is Brittan!!
Reply with quote

By Commissar Theocritus
5/11/2009, 10:59 pm
Pinkie wrote
Theocritus, I am wounded.  You'd cross the street for Yelling Yelena but not for me?  

Commissarka, I have for years thought you so far out of my league. Do you not remember the hang-dog eyes that I cast at you while you were at the Rancho de Rio Grande? No, not the proles' eyes that I had harvested, but my own eyes.

I am a good Progressive. Which means I am a hair-shirt Progressive, which I'm always willing to give you off my own back.

{ off }
"Now I know how it feels to be Obama's teleprompter."

Very fine.
Reply with quote

By Khruelchev
5/12/2009, 2:16 am
Quote

Indeed Commissarka Pinkie has a very huge umm shovel. Yes huge shovel.  Very, very huge.  Quite noticeable, especially in a bathing suit.  Umm the aahhh shovel is much more visible then.  Particularly  when viewed from behind.


Ah my dear Colonel 7.62, Your memory is clouded from having to bear exposure to the bourgeous beyong party recomended levels. You do not remember pinky's shovel reduction surgery. She went from a "Oh-My-God" to "Ricky dont lose that number" quickly. Many excellent Doctors using finest peoples techniques, and several farm implements, got her into true "Peoples Party Girl" shape!
You must see her wielding a shovel. Admit it Theocritus. her technique with her tool would make any party member want to lather her in caviar!
Reply with quote

By Colonel 7.62
5/12/2009, 2:29 am
Usually when I see Pinkie wielding a shovel it is when she is thwacking me upside the head with it.  Fortunately I acquired a kevlar helmet to wear.
Reply with quote

By Commissar Theocritus
5/12/2009, 9:16 am
Colonel, if Pinkie is whacking you on the head with her shovel, that means that you're late for your tune-up at Jiffi-Lobo.

Report at once. I would hate for a progressive to start thinking instead of merely taking sides.
Reply with quote

By Colonel 7.62
5/12/2009, 2:08 pm
Commissar, actually Pinkie whacks me usually when I comment about her.  It looks like she's taking sides.  I've got a personal Jifi-Lobo attendant in the command tent now anyhow.  It's part of my morning ritual.  Denounce thought criminals, execute thought criminals, get Jiffi-Lobo and have my morning cup of tea.  Then go back to rounding up enemies of the state...  Oh and dodge Pinkie after I comment too loudly about the size of her ummmm shovel.
Reply with quote

By Commissarka Pinkie
5/12/2009, 4:43 pm
Maksim:  Sorry, comrade, but if I go, Beet of the Week goes with me.  Now YOU can find out how it feels to bust your butt for The Party, only to have no one appreciate you!  And even if I don't go to England now, I swear I will--just like the Hollywood celebrities--if a Republican gets elected.     

Khruelchev:  I don't wear pajamas.  I only wear 100% cotton Ojamas.     



And as for all the crude remarks about the size of my shovel:  Whether it's big or small, its size does not make me any more or less a Progressive than a comrade with a smaller or bigger shovel, as the case may be.  My shovel is what The Party issued to me!  Yet I suspect size is why Yelling Yelena has found such favor--she clearly has the bigger shovel which, among other things, naturally makes for a deeper cleavage.  And that's all you male comrades care about, isn't it?  

Well, let me warn you here and now:  You might really dig that big shovel now, especially the way she thrusts it up and out as illustrated, but she's a lot older than me, and before long she won't be able to hold it up without proper support--and for something of that size, she'll need a crane.  Otherwise, she'll droop and sag and end up dragging it along the ground, and can you honestly say you want to see that?  

Wouldn't you prefer a shovel that fits nicely into your hands?  Something you can get a firm grip on, instead of something so big and unwieldy you can barely hold it, so every time you dig you're spilling huge clods of dirt all over the place.  What's the point in that? "The bigger the shoveful, the bigger the waste," is what my ex-boyfriend used to say.

And speaking of huge clods, what a bunch of pathetic suck-ups all of you are.  Lather me in caviar, indeed!  You all wish!
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/12/2009, 4:52 pm
You only have one shovel?

Then you cannot



Caviar? Who can afford Caviar? I was thinking like Spinach or something along those lines.
Reply with quote

By Zampolit Blokhayev
5/12/2009, 5:00 pm
Khruelchev wrote
She went from a "Oh-My-God" to "Ricky dont lose that number" quickly. Many excellent Doctors using finest peoples techniques, and several farm implements, got her into true "Peoples Party Girl" shape!
You must see her wielding a shovel. Admit it Theocritus. her technique with her tool would make any party member want to lather her in caviar!


It sounds like you are talking about that tool of the bourgeoisie, the current Miss Kalifornicator? There's plenty of silicone there to keep Jiffi-Lobo's 12hp drill lubed up for several 5 Year Plans.

Oh Hell!!!  That explains why cousin Marcel is bringing his chainsaw to Jiffi-Lobo again!!!

--
ZB
Reply with quote

By Red Square
5/12/2009, 7:46 pm
Guardian of Pravda wrote
Caviar? Who can afford Caviar? I was thinking like Spinach or something along those lines.

Here is a Party-approved example of a conscientious comrade lathered in beet greens.



But in all honesty I can't understand how the high amounts of clearly visible flesh are supposed to provoke vegetarian thoughts.

Unless, of course, in addition to a color-blind society we start working on the creation of a gender-blind society, in which all comrades will keep each other warm regardless of gender and/or sexual orientation, and readily eat beet greens and other FDA-approved products off each other's skin simply because we are hungry.
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/12/2009, 8:00 pm
Wonder what kind of 'dressing' went on that salad mix.
Reply with quote

By Colonel 7.62
5/12/2009, 8:39 pm
Ahh a most equal bikini clad comrade.  I feel a noble socialist stirring within my loins (Inner Comrades #4-17 all feel the urge to share some genetic wealth material).  Now why can't we have more comrades like that?  Instead Pinkie just waves her big errr ummm shovel  around and complains about the more base thoughts of other comrades.  Mmmph.
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/12/2009, 8:52 pm
Thousand Island I am thinking. Who's Pinkie? Oh yeah. The one with the big shovel.
Wonder if she took the garbage out?
Actually I am sure that Commissarka Pinkie is exactly right for the Party and meets all standards that the party applies.
She has money and can be taxed. Especially for Carbon Fingerprinting.
Those CSI's are good. Picking up Carbon fingerprints er oh yeah footprints.
Reply with quote

By AbecedariusRex
5/12/2009, 11:06 pm
Red Square wrote






Hm, which quip to quip?

"I'd gladly carbon fingerprint her."
"Definitely Oil dressing."
"I'll gladly go green if this comrade should personally persuade me."
"Can the ice cube she's carrying be used in the salad?"
"I'd be willing to toss her bikini."
"What huge heads of lettuce!"
"I have a strong desire to eat my greens."
"This is one sexy BLT"
"Can I please hold her anchovies?"

I could go on...I got sheets of this stuff...
Reply with quote

By AbecedariusRex
5/12/2009, 11:15 pm
Oh look, a salad bar!





At least we can anticipate that no brains would be served with this course.

BTW, what the hell is it with liberal movements and sex????
Have sex with a liberal!
Have sex with an Obama supporter!
Go nude to protest fur coats!
Wear lettuce to promote vegetarianism!
Don't these people have anything better to think of than the flesh pots of leftism?  Or is it the assumption that all humans are driven by Aphrodite to jump over the precipice into the sea? (as Sharon Stone so aptly put it "It is not possible for us to control our sexuality")
Anyway, it mystifies me.
Reply with quote

By Red Square
5/12/2009, 11:17 pm
Please leave sheets alone. You must sleep now, comrade. Overexcitement is bad for health of Party member. And make sure that when you wake up sheets still look like they are now.
Reply with quote

By Commissar Theocritus
5/13/2009, 12:15 am
Pinkie! Don't tell me that you suffer from Tired Shovel. Shovel Droop? Say it ain't so! Then you need Lenitra™, which is guaranteed to have your shovel perky for up to 36 hours.

Report to your doctor, or Jiffi-Lobo if you have a shovel that won't go down for more than four hours.
Reply with quote

By Kim Jong Illin'
5/13/2009, 12:13 pm
I took comrade Jirr's emair to UK Ministry of Mentar Hygiene Porice and copy/pasted/edited it.

Dear Comrade Minister: prease ban me from UK. Put my name on traver ban rist.

Here are a rist of sins I committed that have made me earn a prace on your rist.
-I have not ensraved and/or murdered showed enrightenment to enough of my country's citizens.
-I have not expanded the number of Peopre's Reeducation Resort Kamps fast enough to meet the Growing Need™
-unrike comrade Jirr, I have not read copy of my country's Constitution simpry because Demokratik Peopre's Repubrik of Korea have no Constitution. I'm it! AHA-AHAHAHA!! My daddy Kim Ir Sung knew I a fuckwit so he gotta hook me up with a Gummint Job™ to prevent me from standing in rine for maggot-infested gruel Peopre's Rest & Reraxation Cafeteria Centres.
-I have secretry rusted after hottie's rike Hirrarry Crinton, Micherre Obama, Nancy Perosi (just stick it in any old wrinkle), Orca Winfrey (the brack whare - I rove big butts with stretch marks) and Jeanane Garafaro (I rike her crow's feet. Very sexiful)
-I have been so busy buying Ciaris™ and Lenitra™ for my aging ji-ji that I have had to reduce funding for my Peopre's Warm & Fuzzy Big Frash™ programme.
-After rast year's stroke that reft me a drooring idiot and my right side pararyzed, I have been negrecting affairs of State in favor of rearning how to jerk off reft-handed. But I better now. Now I can beat my ji-ji rike it owe me money.

For these and other Thought Crimes™, prease ban me before I do something rearry bad rike jerkoff to pictures of Erizabeth Hurrey Queen Erizabeth.

Yours In Brotherry Soridarity,

Kim Jong Irrin'
Reply with quote

By Commissar Theocritus
5/13/2009, 12:21 pm
Dear Leader, er, Reader. Why do you not come to Texas? You can jerk your ji-ji to our ex-governor Ann Richards and to Molly Ivins too. Both of them happen to be dead but that just cuts down on the noise level.
Reply with quote

By Kim Jong Illin'
5/13/2009, 12:30 pm
Ooh! Tarking about Texas Sociarists, what about that many-wrinkled Euro-Trash srut Marianne Huffington? Maybe I get to meet her at HuffPo Worrd Garactic Headquarters? She have so many facerifts that I bet I courd bounce a quarter off her forehead and get back two dimes and a nickre! She turn me on so much my manry ji-ji wirr give her a Pearr Neckrace™.  She very sexifur.
Reply with quote

By Commissar Theocritus
5/13/2009, 12:41 pm
Ah, yes. Dear Mrs. Stassinopolis. "The face that lunched a thousand shits."

Her Oxbridge education was, in the words of a Cantabridgian, designed for her to argue, not solve problems. Just think if her ex-husband, Mr. Huffington, had not turned out to like boys, she might never have seen the light and become the Grand Dame of socialism.
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/13/2009, 5:47 pm
Is this person a contradiction in terms or merely a 'Progressive Misanthrope"?
The Enquirer wants to know, ah that's inquiring minds want to know. Actually I don't ....want to inquire.............or know............... I don't know why I inquired.
Probably have salad on my mind.
Reply with quote

By Commissar Theocritus
5/13/2009, 6:11 pm
Pravda, your speech patterns are like those of someone who went to Jiffi-Lobo on a Monday. Don't do that. Many of our highly trained People's Surgeons are alkies and have the shakes, bad, on Monday morning.
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/13/2009, 6:22 pm
Now you tell me.
Reply with quote

By Colonel 7.62
5/13/2009, 6:32 pm
Of course, I could have told you that too Comrade Guardian.  After all, who do you think stops to redistribute some vodka from the shipments to the good doctors?  It ain't Pupovich.
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/13/2009, 6:35 pm
Gone to the dogs has he.
Smirnoff of course?
Wodka is a wonderful drunk errr drink.
Reply with quote

By Commissar Theocritus
5/13/2009, 8:26 pm
Pravda, you're coming along just fine. And don't feel alone. I go to Jiffi-Lobo regularly for a tune-up. Whenever I start thinking seditious thoughts, like competence, and the right to property and honesty--I can say that now because I have just been to Jiffi-Lobo and this is just a slight shake-out.

The most important thing is that you never lose sight of socialist faith. The most important thing about faith is that it is immune from reason--that's why it's faith.
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/13/2009, 10:02 pm
Which may explain 'the One' he has faith but not reason.
I wonder if the Savage has faith.
Reply with quote

By Commissar Theocritus
5/14/2009, 3:34 am
Arthur C. Clark said that any sufficiently advanced civilization will seem like magic--this is because of a lack of the analytical tools to explain the world. I am largely ignorant of the history of science but I have noticed that people have throughout the ages attributed inexplicable events to supernatural causes--it seems to be fairly recent, excepting some of the Greeks, and it's always an uphill battle.

I knew that global warming was a religion from the start because it was being sold like one. But unlike some religious with good benefits, and which cannot be proven to be false, this one is tyrannical and is the only religion that you can disprove. And it is just another power grab.

His O'liness may or may not believe in global warming but it is the perfect tool for getting control of industry, which is of course one of the prongs of fascism.
Reply with quote

By Colonel 7.62
5/14/2009, 11:04 am
Arthur C. Clark was a thought criminal of the highest order.  But more entertaining at times than the thuoght criminal Heinlein.  Some of Heinlein's books (The Mark of the Beast comes to mind) read like a rabbit on acid moving through a forest of magic mushrooms.
Reply with quote

By Commissar Theocritus
5/14/2009, 11:23 am
I've been rereading some of them--some are truly excellent; some require patience. His juvenilia are some of the best.
Reply with quote

By Colonel 7.62
5/14/2009, 11:40 am
Have you read the short story The Green Green Hills of Earth?  Most equal.  

Also I greatly enjoyed The Cat Who Walked Through Walls.  Less trippy than Mark of The Beast.
Reply with quote

By Commissar Theocritus
5/14/2009, 2:08 pm
Yes, and just read the Cat. The long story about Maureen Johnson's growing up I stopped rereading in the middle. But do try Tunnel in the Sky, Podkayne of Mars, Citizen of the Galaxy (lots of fun), The Rolling Stones, and Farmer in the Sky.

But for my money the best science-fiction novel ever is the Moon is a Harsh Mistress.
Reply with quote

By Guardian of Pravda
5/14/2009, 5:14 pm
Heinlein, Clark Asimov. The best. I also very much liked and still do Keith Laumer. The Retief Series was Politics from front to back and can be applied to the here and now.
Bolo is the top of the AI series as far as I am concerned. The Dinochrome Brigade lives on in David Drake and many others.
I Robot.
All thought criminals of the Highest order of course. (Standard Party Disclaimer™ 106)
Reply with quote

By Red Square
5/14/2009, 5:54 pm
Read The Host by the Stephenie (sic) Meyer. You'll be pleasantly surprised. Now I know why she's a bestselling author.

I won't spoil it if I say that it's a sci-fi saga in which only the most paranoid people on earth remained human, after a silent invasion of very progressive and altruistic creatures from another planet who used human bodies as hosts to create a perfect peaceful society on Earth. They started by inserting one of them into a university professor (who else?) and from there began their expansion through the academia to the rest of the society.

They called themselves "souls" and didn't think of themselves as malicious and always thought in terms of love and the greater good. But one of them was inserted in a mind of a young woman who was a rugged individualist and refused to cooperate with her takeover (the type seen at the anti-Obama tea parties). As a result, there came to be two conflicting minds in one body - one human and one alien.

This is also the first sci-fi book I've read where the story unfolds as seen through the eyes of an alien, who is also a female. I also found it funny that her previous lifetime this "soul" spent inhabiting the body of a singing moonbat on the planet of singing moonbats.

I would've never started reading it but my daughter got me interested by describing it as an invasion of communists from the outer space. She said I would love it and she was right, I couldn't put it down. (This may be a state secret, but SMO loved it too).

Reply with quote

By Colonel 7.62
5/14/2009, 11:37 pm
Commissar Theocritus wrote
Yes, and just read the Cat. The long story about Maureen Johnson's growing up I stopped rereading in the middle. But do try Tunnel in the Sky, Podkayne of Mars, Citizen of the Galaxy (lots of fun), The Rolling Stones, and Farmer in the Sky.

But for my money the best science-fiction novel ever is the Moon is a Harsh Mistress.


Lesse I did manage to get through Maureen Johnson's life story.  Can't say I've read anything on your list, save of course the brilliant Moon is a Harsh Mistress.  Excellent read.
Reply with quote

Page 1 of 2   Goto page 1, 2  Next





Username:    Password:   Remember me    


Protected by Anti-Spam ACP
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group
  
 
The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand


 
19.gif
Deniers drop tons of foot powder on Washington to emulate snow blizzard during hottest Global Warming winter on record
Radical anti- American leader blames US for Global Warming
O's first year in office: 2 million jobs saved, 76 major natural disasters prevented
O's SOTU changes meaning of "cultivate" to "cultiveight": build up a perception that the current woes are the result of the previous eight years


Dead-Americans claim voter fraud in Massachusetts: cemeteries denied access to polling places, Senator Kennedy demands recount
Defeated in Mass elections, Obama warns against getting a ride from anyone in Kennedy's seat
Mayor Nagin sends 200 school buses to Haiti; Gov. Blanco appointed to oversee construction of Superdome
Closer inspection of Kennedy Seat revealed it's an old car seat with water damage

Unusually cold winter causes liberals to keep hands in OWN pockets
Obama's DHS: Detroit attack 'wardrobe malfunction'
Air Force deploys eavesdropping spy plane codenamed 'Jewish mother'
Seven more women claim to have had lip exchanges with St. Nick underneath mistletoe
Mrs. Claus found standing over bleeding hubby next to wrecked sleigh, holding nutcracker
North Pole shuts down as elves unionize, demand warmer work environment
Time editors still undecided who to select as 'Barack of the Year' in 2009
Obama revolutionizes war: 'leaving' is the new 'victory'
ACORN to change name to CHESTNUT; meaning of new acronym still being debated
Obama's new autobiography tentatively titled Going Rouge
Antartica's Ross Island Detainment Center (RID-C) receives first batch of climate-change skeptics
Obama saves big on high cost of turkey for the troops by delaying Afghan surge until after Thanksgiving
Retailers begin annual cash- in on Christian holiday they refuse to mention by name
Christmas & Healthcare Reform season classic:
It's a Wonderful Death!
NY Times, Newsweek offer editorial inoculations to concerned readers of Sarah Palin's book
Going Rogue: FEMA braces for massive outbreaks of Palin Derangement Syndrome
Following Fort Hood tragedy, Obama declares all military bases gun-free zones
Pelosi: we won.
Philies: so did we
Study: Global Warming linked to consumption of beans and beef patties






Pro-Obama gamers discover 'cheat codes' in U.S. Constitution
Police trained in using end of life counselingtechniques to negotiate suicide threats
Obama commits more troops to War on Fox News, still awaiting Afghan troop surge
Pass Rush: NFL okays Fidel Castro's bid to buy Miami Dolphins
Study: the road to hell paved with Nobel Peace Prizes
Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize. Wishing all our readers a Happy April First!

Roman Polanski named new School Safety Czar in wake of Jennings scandal
Charles Manson: 'Leave Polanski alone, hasn't he suffered enough?'


Obama loses Olympic bid, will try for Special Olympics next
Carter: if the IOC doesn't give the Olympics to Chicago, they're racists
Saudis: the word 'assassina- tion' will never be the same
Al Qaeda: 'We shove bombs up our butts'
Richard Gere denies Al Qaeda membership
Experts: assassin hid bomb in anal cavity adjacent to brain
Study: 90% of G20 protestors driven to Pittsburgh by mom
Ahmadinejad: Iran needs enriched uranium to purchase large IKEA sofa
Obama: If we don't bomb Iran now, we'll never pass healthcare reform
Taliban hires DC lobbyist in effort to get Obama's attention
Missile defense: Czechs angry at Obama for being canceled
Media study: Caucasian toddlers are more likely to cut eye-holes into "blankies"
Democrat strategist: 9 out of 10 white infants prefer cross burning over mother's milk
Mahmoud’s Liquidation Warehouse: 50% off Israel - this weekend only - it won’t last long
Obama: Black kids still forced to beat people up at back of bus
Charlie Gibson: Neil Armstrong went where?
Obamacare, it’s finger-licking good!
Ben and Jerry release 'Hate Monger Bigot' flavor to celebrate those who support traditional marriage
'Shiver me Timbers!': Somalia unveils People's Institute for Redistribution, Adventurism & Thalassic Extortion (PIRATE)
Energy Czar: to save energy, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off

buy this sticker
Other 49 states impose carbon tax on California due to wildfire smoke
Following Scotland's lead, US Justice Dept releases Charles Manson, citing battle with chronic hemorrhoids
Obama to media: Please respect our girls' privacy, especially Mr. Letterman
Teachable moment: Obama to hold 'beer summit' between offended Post Office and UPS
Taliban sends protesters to Afghan town hall meetings in attempt to get Obama administration to withdraw

Gotham villains working for the Common Good™
White House recalibrates description of town hall protesters from 'terrorists' to 'man-made Nazi fascist pigs'
Experts: when buying Astroturf, remember to look for the Union Label
National-socialist health care?
Drudge insulates self from White House anger by naming his site MoveOn.Drudge
ABC greenlights epic 12-part miniseries based on Beer Summit
Moveon.org petitions Dems to leave Bush/Cheney alone and 'move on to pressing issues facing the nation'
Palin: Critics ipso facto are quitters
Honduran ex-president Zelaya holds press- conference, presents birth certificate for examination
Cambridge: fighting racial bias, Obama picks black scholar Henry Louis Gates as Door Jigging Czar

buy a T-shirt
Obama: white cop acted like inexperienced rookie, but being one I may be biased
On the international front: Obama brings back Cold War, switches sides
Signs of recovery: WH study finds number of searches for 'economic depression' on Google lower than it could have been under FDR
Obama inherited broken teleprompter from
George W Bush
Zelaya: we support the democratically-elected President of the USA, even though he has strongly opposed American policies
Eco group 'Earth First' protests burying non- biodegradeable body of Michael Jackson under the ground
Study: Media orgasm over Michael Jackson's death oddly appropriate
SPONSORED BY:
Secretary of the Interior vows to turn Neverland Ranch into 'King of Pop' National Monument
Riots in Iran: Obama invokes Starfleet Prime Directive - non-interference with social development of native planet even at the cost of own life
Obama hurts a fly, forgets to read Miranda rights
ACLU: fly murder by slapping unconstitutional
Obama mistakes Inspector General for a private CEO, orders him to resign
DHS simplifies procedures, cuts learning curve, renames all terrorism 'right-wing'
Earth may collide with Venus in 3.5 billion years. We must act NOW!!!
CBS study: statutory rape jokes not as hilarious as previously thought
White House tree commits suicide over economic policy

Obama: 'I inherited this tree from George W. Bush'
Obama to economy: 'make like a tree and collapse'
In Cairo, Obama promotes shovel-ready projects for Muslim communities
Obama's comment linking Islam to algebra sets off anti-Islam riots in US inner-city schools
Keith Olbermann rises to #1 on Larry Craig's 'Top ten liberals I'd like to sodomize' list
Ahmadinejad hands out potatoes to corner Irish-Iranian vote
Lady Justice undergoes extreme makeover on TV, becomes sexier, more empathetic, less blind

visit our new Che Heart store
Obama: "We must work to rid the world of nuclear weapons and of Israel too while we're at it"
Obama to impose a cap on temperatures for patients in government-subsidized hospitals
Brady Campaign to Prevent Cereal Violence applauds gov't crackdown on cheerios, calls for registration of cereal bowls
buy this sticker
Obama's rich supporters chagrined to find he's a class worrior and not the cynical hypocrite they'd counted on
Congress nationalizes DeBeers, changes marketing slogan to 'government programs are forever'
Sen. Specter: 'we could be energy-independent by now if Republicans invested in eternal engine research'
Kentucky Derby winner admits to having no specific strategy: I just kept repeating 'hope' and 'change' and I won... wow!
Never waste a good crisis: Obama uses swine flu epidemic to put a mask on Joe Biden
Study: exposure to pork- barrel projects heightens risk of catching swine flu
Islamic scholars green-light use of government pork by Muslim groups: 'not haram'
DHS Napolitano's preferred man-made disaster color warnings: chocolate, vanilla, strawberry
Dow Jones rally prompted by record sales of tea bags on April 15
WH: Obama's handshake with Saudi King looked like a bow as King Abdullah's arms are twice as long as human arms but atrophy prevents use
DHS tip on spotting a right- wing extremist: watch out for the one carrying a paycheck
Opposed to teabagging, Pelosi accepts motion to expel Congressperson Barney Frank
Spring cleaning tip: don't forget to change your scientific consensus from winter setting "climate change" to summer setting "global warming"
Obama uses old Bush-era teleprompter for Baghdad speech
Segway and GM launch a
2-wheeled contraceptive
Obama's stern reaction to North Korea missile launch: "I'm tellin'!"
Lenin laughs ass off over crisis in capitalism

Scientists: Lenin statue expelled no harmful gases, only dialectical materialism
Obama gives Queen a shovel


click here
NBC: We are all Special Olympians now, especially Olbermann
Obama's teleprompter caught moonlighting as AmEx spokesperson: 'Don’t leave home without it'

click here for the story
Alabama gunman was trying to 'be more like Europeans'
After shootings, EU threatens potential mass murderes with increased paperwork and red tape
Oil prices rising; most viable solution is blame Limbaugh
Obama to bring Cuba in from the cold; political prisoners to remain outside
Healthcare crisis: Planned Parenthood forced to offer 2 abortions for the price of 1; 50% off if you refer a friend

Hillary presents Russian Foreign Minister Lavrov with the People's Cube

CLICK HERE FOR THE STORY
Obama's Reaganesque address: "I've just declared peace on the Soviet Union. The bonging will start in five minutes"
Satellite launched to confirm global warming: finds none, crashes in Antarctica in protest
Al-Qaeda founder discovers DNC playbook, attacks own side in war an terror
Obama to slash deficit after increase; firefighters to quench house after setting fire to it

view larger
Treasury Dept buys Monopoly board game for policy advice
Democrats pay back their constituents, save faltering squeegee businesses from collapsing

Muslim group offended by pork hidden in stimulus package, threatens revenge
Obama appoints guilt czar to oversee fair distribution of guilt among all Americans
Size matters: stimulus package so big it won't even fit on Drudge
No help from Obama to storm-ravaged Kentucky; officials consider renaming state to New Orleans in effort to get attention
Politico: volcano trouble in Alaska a result of Palin's policies
MoveOn adopts Bush's cowboy diplomacy: 'You're either with Obama or Rush'
Obama urges liberals to start listening to Rush Limbaugh: 'all too often we start by dictating on issues and don't always know all the factors involved. So let's listen.'
More bad economic news: area antiwar group lays off its bumper sticker makers
Dissent no longer patriotic: Obama
Reminder to Hollywood celebrities: must change 'patriotic' setting from 'hate America' to 'love America' on Jan. 20
Obama promises to Photoshop a better future for America
You won't be told lies if you don't ask questions: Obama's new media policy
Personals: senate seats available in NY & Il. Hardly ever used. Cash OK.
Change we can believe in: Clinton 1990s staffers
Somali pirates hijack international space station
Starting with 11/5/08, the cor- rect progressive greeting in America is "Barack Obama!" The reply is "Obama Barack!"
Laika the Space Dog consi- dered for new White House pet: "Thoroughly vetted by Bill Ayers"

CHANGE: President-elect Obama crushes Yankee imperialism in a landslide




Seven Obama cousins found living in voting booth
US choppers attack ACORN voter registration center in Syria
US military: We decided to strike now because this time next year we’ll be a Peace Keeping force
Biden predicts severe test for Obama in first six months: another question from Joe the Plumber
Obama: Let he who is without wealth cash the first check!
Joe Biden: work is a four-letter word


FBI investigates Mickey Mouse Club for voter fraud
Embarrassed ACORN accidentally registers 'Ronald Reagan'
Kids' hymns to Obama a success of Democrat strategy: If you can't abort them, indoctrinate them
World to USA: 'Fix world ecomonic crisis so we can get back to hating you'
Obama's campaign invites opponents to play 'Truth or Jail'
Biden: Hoover text-messaged Americans to calm fears during 1929 crash
Dead support Obama, all are registered to vote by ACORN
Biden calls taxes patriotic
Study: Jesus spoke without a telepromter
Obama promises free lipstic for everybody if elected
KARAOKE: These Are The Jerks We Call Journalists

Obama's negotiations with Gustav prove fruitful; storm spares "French Quarter"
Feminist group: Sarah Palin worst mother since June Cleaver; decried as "too feminine"
Obama: leave Bristol alone, she has been punished enough with a baby
Putin shoots tiger with Polonium-laced dart
Obama: ready from day one to place a call to UN if a US city is nuked
Cult of personality at the People's Cube is up 90% compared to previous Five-Year Plan
Congress established windfall tax on US gold medals
International Olympic Committee to redistribute Phelp's ill-gotten golds to less fortunate athletes
Obama beats Hillary to coveted CPUSA endorsement
February 2050 declared White History Month. Future headlines expected to read "Minorities hardest hit... and deservedly so."
Obama denounces Russia's actions; humbled Russia sends self to Gulag
US trade deficit dropped; NYT instructs readers to turn paper upside down for more favorable view of graph
Sharpton protests disproportionate deaths of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes, calls for immediate deaths of David Letterman and Billy Joel to even score
Science to unveil invisible cloak; Conservative White Christian male in NJ says he's been invisible for years
NYT: Russia's invasion of Georgia leaves much smaller carbon footprint than US invasion of Iraq
Larry the Cable Guy issues call to "man the pick up trucks" as Russia invades Georgia
Edwards claims he was having affair with camera, didn't notice woman attached
Chavez's parents cut off Hugo's credit card after Moscow shopping binge
Oil industry to Pelosi: You've been given a brain. Use it or lose it.
Congress to declare July 19th International Swimmers' Day


buy a T-shirt
How many superdelegates does it take to change a lightbulb?
Photoshopped Iranian missile saves 25% on Islamic Republic's carbon footprint

Word of the day:
HUSSIES n. Female Obama supporters changing their middle names to Hussein
Obama: we have always been at peace with Hillary Clinton
Grand Rapids Mayor George Heartwell vows city will be "vanilla" when rebuilt
Media grows impatient with Iowa's lack of flood-related rapes and pillaging: Why can't they be more like New Orleans?
Lou the Looter In Iowa
CNN investigates Iowans caught blowing FEMA debit cards at Tractor Supply Company
Obama: WTC problem ended on 9/11, Pentagon still a problem
Hillary supporters organize against Obama
Janet Reno congratulates Elian Gonzalez on joining Cuba's Young Communists

Elian Gonzales - my kid is a Communist Party Honor Student
Dick Durbin denies that being Hell's spokesperson and moonlighting as a Democrat Senator presents a conflict of interest
Flooding in Iowa causes typical white people to turn bitter and cling to evacuation procedures
Democrat energy policy: let them eat cake
Monica Lewinsky endorses Obama: 'This is not the Bill Clinton I knew'
NASA unveils 'ass-crack' space suit for plumbing repairs at int'l space station



Dead people at Obama's rally identified as a renegade splinter group of Hillary's 'invisible Americans'
Howard Dean: dead people will vote Democrat no matter who gets the nomination
Mainstream media silent on increased attacks on US troops by mainstream media
Sen. Kennedy under treatment. Mary Jo still dead
Muanmar drafts Mayor Nagin and Gov. Blanco to help with cyclone clean up
New Orleans Mayor sends school buses to Myanmar
As Darfur violence surges, world vows not to give a crap unless the US gets involved
Chinese citizens crushed by bricks and rubble; tanks have day off

buy T-shirt
Friendly fire: BBC office hit by al-Qaeda rocket
Al Gore knows what caused Burma cyclone but won't say it
International community promises to suspend anti- Americanism until after American aid reaches Burma
Mainstream media saddened that Austrian pedophile isn't a Catholic priest, a Baptist minister, or a GOP senator
North Korea's nuclear technicians protest outsourcing jobs to Syria
Earth Day: save the planet, starve the children!
Focus group: if water boarding was a sexual preference, they'd be teaching it in public schools

Study: Wall Street losses unfairly target the rich
Mixed month for MTV: teen pregnancy drops, however STDs are on the rise
Obama pledges to give every typical small town family a possum sandwich
Delays at American Airlines: a sneak peak into proposed government healthcare

Stop and smell the Sharpies
Obama: baby is punishment; tax increase is bundle of joy
Media: this year's Global Bad News Awareness week to overlap with International Good News Obliviousness month
NPR journalists go on truckers-style protest over high price of lattes
Most popular April Fools joke: "A Democrat president won't raise taxes"

Obama denounced extreme statements in Osama's new tape but urged voters to listen to the entire message before making judgment
Obama's speech calls for change in stereotyping "the typical White person"
Spitzer denies applying hardball tactics in front of bathroom mirror and threatening to come after himself
New York State House retires Spitzer's #9 jersey
KKK endorses Harvard's gym segregation policy: 'Blacks and Jews are next'
London quake caused by SUV, now impounded by Scotland Yard
Hillary's healthcare plan to include smelling salts for Obama's supporters and mandatory amputation of Chris Matthews' leg
USMail Service to publish Obama's resume on new stamp
Obama: one man's plagiarism is another man's audacity
Candidate Barry O'Bama to court Irish vote
Berkeley ousting US Marines gives hope to al Qaeda: 'If hippies can do it, so can we!'
Berkley builds wall around self; man trying to flee 'Peace Sanctuary City' shot at checkpoint
John McCain apologizes for going to Vietnam, earns Jane Fonda's endorsement
To avoid scorn and ridicule, Tom Cruise converts to Islam
NY Times: Backward, close-minded, inbred southern hicks vote for Obama
NY Times: All the news that's fit to pimp
Dems offer first female for President, first Black for President, first pretty pony for Attorney General
Brokeback Mountain loses climber
NASA's Spirit Rover finds Dennis Kucinich campaign on Mars
Las Vegas: candidates offer plans to bail out flustered gamblers
Feds: subprime borrowers' relief package to include subprime rib
Silence in Cuba: Castro too ill to speak in public, Cubans too afraid to speak
Dems adopt old British "don't mention the war" strategy for '08 campaign

Obama's 'Take a penny, leave a penny' economic plan sparks new hope

Obama's campaign hires homeless people to talk about change on street corners

Panhandlers Union endorses Obama's plan for change
Al Gore's children receive carbon credits for Winter Solstice Holiday
Democrats call for troop surge in the War on Bush
Murtha: if we quit now, capitalism will win
Pelosi declares she likes class war, pledges to stay the course
Expert blames Republicans for not attacking all Democrat candidates equally
High school Meth teacher starts new class
Holy Mitt!
Violence in Iraq down 60%; media stories reporting this down 6000%
Imus covers all bases by hiring undocumented-Black- Jewish-homeless- transgendered-vegan- disabled-obese-Kartina- victim as a sidekick
Poll: most Muslims find curvature of Riemannian manifolds offensive
"How The Grinch Redistributed Winter Solstice" opens on Broadway
Left-wing bloggers hold vigil hoping suspect is connected to GOP candidate
Hostage situation expected to be politicized in the next 20 minutes
"Mall security" takes over operations in Baghdad
New study suggests that 1 US gallon of Latte is 170 times more expensive than 1 US gallon of Regular gasoline.
Al Gore sterilizes self to protect planet: 'Having children is selfish'
NY Times: some news is fitter to print than others
Study: most Americans will be worried about economy if told so often enough
Musharraf changes name to Chavez to avoid being called "dictator" by MSM and Democrats in US Congress
Media changes old adage "no news is good news" to "no good news is news"
US Congress extends hurricane season until the first Sunday in November
Lack of bad news from Iraq causes media recession. Women and minority journalists hardest hit.
LA Times drops term "wild" describing fire, uses "undocumented" fire instead
USA Today: big fires are getting bigger, small fires are getting smaller
Reid: Global Warming caused fire by overheating arsonist's head, provoking delusional paranoia
MoveOn.org pressures Congress to stop fighting fire and bring firemen home
Reid: The war on fire is lost
Pelosi: The number of fires has gone up since we started fighting fire
Kerry: If you don't do well in school you'll get stuck fighting fire in California
NY Times: Fighting fire creates even more fires
Harry Reid auctions clothes, furniture, car on eBay in effort to make millions off his name. "If Limbaugh can do it so can I." No takers so far.
Princess Leia Organa presents the Alderaanian Medal of Honor to Al Gore
Did Che Guevara descend from Prophet Mohammed?
San Andreas Fault in California preemptively renamed George Bush's Fault
Media Matters editor blows self up over Limbaugh's 'bomber' remark
End of Ramadan brings new rioting season to France
Harry Reid bangs shoe on table: "We will bury you!"
Dutch follow Ahmadinejad's lead, declare "there are no dykes in Holland"
Ahmadinejad to Amerika: "Don't tase me, bro!"

Bomb Girl and Taser Boy sell rights to their characters to Marvel Comics
Cindy Sheehan hires Bomb Girl and Taser Boy as image consultants

CBS stands by firing of Dan Rather: "He couldn't tell our logo from a hole in the ground"
Jessie Jackson on Obama: "too White." Obama on Jackson: "I'm a smoke dat biatch if I see him"
Tasered victim at John Kerry's speech to receive Purple Heart
Mugabe blames Zimbabwe's meltdown on Global Warming
To stomp out possible confusion, MSM changes spelling of Obama to Ubama
Craving acceptance from liberals, General Petraeus gains 300lbs and debuts report at Cannes.
George Soros stops funding Democrats, converts to Islam
Edwards: 41% of American children don't have lawyers
John Edwards proposes "single payer" trial lawyer insurance for all, mandatory pre-jurisprudence care
Illegal aliens kill people Americans won't kill
Democrats select 2008 presidential slogan:
"Death to America"
Larry "Happy Feet" Craig uses Michael Flatley's Riverdance defense
"Americans Coming Together" admit they had timing issues
Presbyterian clergy issue fatwah calling for Pope's death
New Jersey teen cracked iPhone with his face
Vick awaits doggie-style welcome in prison

Rock star behaves like rap star: huge media outcry
China's recall of defective Daily Kos bloggers causes suicides among Democrat strategists
Al Gore to recall the Internet


Media declares September National Bridge Awareness Month
First New Orleans, now Minnesota: Anderson Cooper travels up the Mississippi without a paddle
Ray Nagin pledges to build a chocolate bridge instead
William Jefferson spotted under collapsed bridge retrieving mystery package
Cannibalism, rape, looting, republicanism rampant in Minneapolis
Lindsay Lohan to enter astronaut training program
Nigeria's plan to nationalize local spam industry sparks massive riots in Lagos
Democrat Congress's two major victories: minimum wage increase and al-Qaeda's restored operating capability
London Mayor Livingston mandates Sharia law at nightclubs to prevent further bombings
Taliban spokesman blames media bias as civilian deaths from US air strikes grab headlines: "Taliban has murdered thousands of civilians and we can't even get mentioned on Countdown with Olbermann. What gives?"
Back alley massage parlors now offering "better ending than Sopranos"
Bush to close Gitmo, detainees released into Mexican custody to be put on fast track to US citizenship

click me
Study: Dan rather still unable to tell the difference between Paris Hilton and Katie Couric
Civil war in Gaza: if it's not in Iraq why report it?
US media increasingly impatient at lack of civil war in Iraq
US Embassy in Syria warns of sex attacks. So how long will Bill be visiting for?
Delighted Dems: "The surge has failed!"
MSM spokesman: There are no civil war clashes in Gaza!
Palestinians still wonder why their real civil war can't knock Iraq "civil war" off the front page
As Albanians welcome Bush and show love for USA, NY Times offers them free subscriptions to "solve problem"
Paris gets out of jail faster than an illegal immigrant
Socialist utopia takes foothold in Venezuela as water cannons salute victory
Pelosi: "I've seen climate change." John Fogerty of CCR also wants to know "if she's ever seen rain"
Democrats call for troop withdrawal from Jersey
Harry Reid: "Troop presence in New Jersey creating more terrorists"
French riot police deployed as open minded, tolerant socialists expected to react to election results
Progressives concerned with Sarkozy's "extremist agenda " of rule of law and assimilation to French culture
Dems: War needs deadline; only social policies can run indefinitely
Sheryl Crow to wipe out global warming one butt at a time
Va Tech lessons for MSM: must ban guns, rich kids
ACLU calls for calm, fears backlash against innocent gun owners: 'all gun owners aren't terrorists'
Liberal groups join gun tolerance and awareness workshops
Gun owners converting to Islam in droves to ward off profiling
Sharp jump in number of 'non-decapitated' babies following Supreme Court decision
Sharpton makes a list of 57 Don Imus sympathizers on public airwaves
Al Gore and John Kerry agree: people who live in greenhouses should not expel noxious gases
Al Gore hired by K-Y to pro-
mote Global Warming Jelly
New study shows Earth's 'fever' contagious; Mars asks planets to kick 'Greenhouse Mary' out of solar system
Schumer demands Karl Rove be indicted on 1976 parking ticket
Al Qaeda reacts to Schumer attack: "Thank Allah we're not Republicans!"
Dems: Khalid Sheik Mohamed just watched too many episodes of 24 and made all that stuff in his confession up
Fitzgerald to prosecute Ann Coulter for disclosing identity of presidential candidate John Edwards
Following Scooter Libby success, media demands journalists be included on all future juries
Kent State professor calls for bin Laden victory: time to bring in the National Guard again?
Hollywood to America: our moral issues are better than your moral issues
Obama promises to "purge himself" if he loses to Hillary to spare the public a lengthy trial
House vote: Insurgents react with non-binding IED
Democrat leaders don't support terrorists but they support their mission
North Korea agrees to nuclear disarmament, media hails Madeleine Albright
Bush: I support Democrat majority - but not their mission
Is it time for Pinochet yet?
see CITGO think HUGO CHAVEZ

Helen Thomas to be inducted into Museum of Natural History

Our Comrades:

Professor Kurgman
kathy blog
Dicklist
WHYGRR
Bush Is Hitler
Julia Gorin
Brain Terminal
Antiprotester
Cox and Forkum
The Ministry of Truth
Scrappleface
Zombietime
FAQster
AWOL Civilization
Fit-To-Print News
Conservative Punk
BestObamaFacts.com
Looking at the Left
I Own The World
Maksim Maksimovich
Red Planet Cartoons
Miss Kitty
Bunny News Network