Obama To Appoint Self G.O.D. (Gov'ntal Overall Director)

Finally American progressives can have a G.O.D. they can believe in. Banking on a wildly successful media coverage of its efforts to transform the backward, individualistic America into a nation of enlightened state-worshippers ruled by unelected czars, the administrative branch is preparing for a next radical reform that will further streamline the system and dispel the accusations of oligarchic rule by concentrating all the powers enumerated, extrapolated, and imagined under the constitution in the hands of only one man. Said White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, "We must urgently streamline the decision-making process because the time for talk is over. The outdated 19th century idea of reading and debating bills must end. Face it, not only does debate delay immediate action, so does voting."

~

The new legislation proposes the President of the United States appointing himself to the new position of Governmental Overall Director, or G.O.D. for short. "We believe in an all-seeing, all-knowing, all-powerful G.O.D. to create order out of the chaos that is the unfortunate result of too many people making too many decisions for themselves. Hope and change require unity. Unity requires oneness of purpose. As you may know, Obama is The One." Under the proposal the G.O.D. will give the people new freedoms, replacing the old freedoms which have atrophied to tired clichés. The G.O.D. is expected to replace individual free will with collective will of the communities represented by community organizers. Free enterprise will be replaced with free lunch, and free speech with free internet access. The inalienable rights of life, liberty and property will be supplanted by the rights of bodily functions, controlled unanimity, and regulated sharing. "Citizenship encompasses both rights and responsibilities," Gibbs said. "Your rights are the government's responsibility so you don't have to fret over them. A burden is always lessened by lightening the load. For instance, it is the administration's aim to relieve everyone's money problems by relieving them of money. And may the G.O.D. bless America," stated Gibbs. One part of the proposal that caused a stir of head nodding among the press was the President's assumption of judiciary powers one step above the Supreme Court - the so-called "Last Judgment" provision wherein the G.O.D. has the final say on all legal decisions. "Man proposes, the G.O.D. disposes," Gibbs quipped to approving chuckles of the press. Further explaining details of the plan's implementation, Press Secretary continued, "How exactly this all works... the G.O.D. only knows." Evidence of massive public support of the government's Act of G.O.D. was provided in the form of a spontaneous rally just outside of the White House, in which representatives of diverse communities, wearing inexpensive red shirts with an artful ACORN logo, were joined by occasional passers-by from the Service Employees International Union (SEIU), all of whom happened to be carrying lovingly pre-printed signs: "Thank G.O.D.!" "One nation under G.O.D.!" and "In G.O.D. we trust!" The plan has already had an immediate positive effect on the nation's political climate by rendering the opposition speechless. Staunch defenders of God's place in the public forum, Republicans have suddenly gone mum - apparently, out of fear that any anti-G.O.D. statements can damage their immediate political future and have negative long-term effects in the form of eternal damnation. Illustrations and aditional reporting by Red Square

UPDATE:

Have the same shirt Obama is wearing in this story. And drink from the official state-issue government mug.

Da.  Secret?  Nyet.  Closet out from?  Da.

Meanwhile:
Someone whispered, "Covert infestation operatives schedule ahead," into a hairy ear.

Вы
Над и вне

We will have no need for this old motto: E pluribus unum, "Out of Many, One" now that "one" is the One or it's taken on a entirely new meaning.

konnichiwa,

hai, soudesu,

this is good.  i see the obamasan has finally become enlightened and recognizes the true path.  this was the only way in the lands of the rising sun before the modern times, as the emperor was the god and the people were a reflection of his spirit.

it's true, the peoples magazine says so
Japan: Emperor-God
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,852228,00.html

although, i did not know that obamasan was from nihon, as the only true emperor-gods are japanese.
hmmmmmm........


here's visual agitation, my ancestor, former god-ruler showa.
responsible for great attempt against capitalist america in 1940's
and responsible for subsequent test site of first nuclear weapons.


here all subjects of japan submit to such a large gun he has.


does this obama-god have such a gun?  hai, i would guess not.

arigatougozaimasu,
emperor kakubakuhatsu

And so it was written by Uncle Vladimir: G.O.D. is the state, the state is G.O.D.

All currency must be turned in so it can be altered to read: In G.O.D. We Trust (well, they won't bother to give it back after alteration because they're just gonna hafta keep it all eventually anyway.)

Parents will tell their kidniks: G.O.D. is watching you!  (The walls have ears, too?)

I am so happy!  For years, I was an atheist but now I believe in G.O.D.!

Emperor - that thing between your Emperor-God ancestor's legs looks very impressive but it is dwarfed by the size of G.O.D. Obama's stimulus package.

Comrade Opiate - perhaps we should urgently start a new progressive initiative, "Atheists for the Advancement of G.O.D." It seems to be an idea whose time has come. If not now, when? If not we, who? If not urgently, how?

hai, redsquaresan,
i have riddle for you...


how you make emperor showa pocket pistol 12 inches long?


you give up now.. good.

FOLD IN HALF.

hai, that's a good one.
shiteimasu, i have heard of citizens from continent of africa to have exceptional stimulating packages, but i wonder why continent of africa is not stimulated.  hmmmm.....

anyways, whatever.

atode,
emperor kakubakuhatsu

At last, a GOD we can all believe in, a GOD of the people, a truly supreme being.

And the DNC's P.R. Dept. (ABC, NBC, CBS, and CNN) can be the messengers for G.O.D.!!!

You know, this makes perfect sense!

The old Capitalist God had Apostles, the new G.O.D. has Czars.
The old Capitalist God performed many miracles, like parting the Red Sea and The Burning Bush, the new G.O.D. has performed miracles such as parting Americans with their Money and continually burning G. W. Bush.
The similarities go on and on!
Finally a G.O.D. we can Believe in!

This reminds me of the earlier Cubist themes:
- http://thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?t=1862

What's the secret word?  GOD

Citizen's

     A sign of solidarity, for the dash of your car!


                                                               Publius

And then here's our submission to the NEA Agitprop Contest:

Kennedyesque

If you say the secret woid, a duck will fly out of Obama's ass and give you $787,000,000,000.

That could be the inspiration for the Cher video, "If I Could Turn Back Time," where she hunches herself on a huge gun surrounded by dancing sailor-boy queens.

I keep hearing this strange echo in my mind...

Ein Reich,
Ein Volk,
Ein Fuhrer.

Sieg, Heil....Sieg, Heil.... Sieg, Heil

And the Kennedy name shall be supplanted by the name "Obama."

And the cabinet shall be supplanted by the Czars.

And the Fairness Doctrine shall be supplanted by the Diversity Panel.

And Acorn shall supplant the national guard.

And private insurance shall be supplanted by the public option.

And . . .?

  

And...i shall begin puking henceforth. Wait...did i write that out loud?

The dyslexic progressive liberal philosopher stayed up all night every night watching the bats circle the moon and pondering The Current Truth: Amabo IS D.o.g.

G.O.D. scraps Obama Care for G.O.D. Care and appoints commieczar Todd Bentley to head G.O.D.Care on G.O.D. TV


You have a right to life it says so in the constitution

Eh, I knew it would come to this; the Potus is a tautology!
God proclaims himself God proclaims himself God proclaims himself....

I like George Carlin better:

Now the G.O.D. will display true "diversity" of ideology by have all people following his collective directives to total exclusion of all others!

Komrade Krinkov,

Does that mean we will all be equal at last?

I for one will be voting Green next year.  Kermit has a wonderful lillypad platform.

Voting Green?Didn't you vote Green this time, comrade?

Does Kermit know this frog?




Don't worry comrade, The Party™ sponsors a yearly cook off...

ABUNAI, ABUNAI,


we must immediately denounce comrade nietzsche for thoughtcrimes against obama-god™.  at first i believed him to be of decent lineage, but i just stumbled upon this statement revealing the truly flawed thinking and dangerousness of this common un-intellectual.



how do these people slip through the vetting process?  i believe we must stop him before he spurs on an attack against G.O.D. if he has not already done so.




arigatou,
emperor kakubakuhatsu

Emperor, I think that it is a mistake to harken back to prior gods, who were all shown to be utterly false by the ascension of G.O.D. In fact, we have not yet settled the Obama Calendar. Is Year 1 A.H.O. the year of his birth? Or is year 1 the year of his inauguration? Either way, any god that existed before that moment of perfect enlightenment means nothing.

In calculating the Obama Calendar we can take example from the North Korean Juche calendar, where Year One is the day of the Great Leader's birth.

what?  wakarimasen

this nietzsche is not referring to the obama-god in his blasphemist words?  hmmmm.... prior gods? not from nihon?   errr?
united states of obama contains many confusing factions of competing leftist noble ideals.

i guess nietzsche is off hook if he refers to gods other than obama-G.O.D., unless he refers to emperor-gods, then he gets sharp end of katana and i'll pay 800 pesos for nietzsche's head in bowl of rice.

anyways,
sumimasen,  ...my bad, so sorry for misunderstanding.

atode,
emperor kakubakuhatsu

According to the Obamic Calendar, we are now in the glorious year 48 A.O.  New Year's Day would be August 4th.  

In that case, should January 1st become the new Fool's Day?  And do we still celebrate the one in April, or is that now obsolete?

More importantly, will converting to the Obamic Calendar allow me to knock a few years off my age?  I'd like to be able to date younger men without being told, "For cryin' out loud, you're old enough to be his mother!"

Pinkie, that's a good idea. Since I'm well into my decrepitude I wouldn't mind dating--without being thought to be a chicken hawk.

And that reminds me. In the Progressive World of Next Tuesday, the Glorious Obama Lovely Lolloapalooza World, it's a given that we won't have to pay debts incurred before the New April Fool's Day, the day of His Inauguration.

How I wish that I'd taken out a mortgage.

I posted this on another thread (The New Age Annoints a New Opiate) and then I realized that this thread might be even better. Am I spamming? No, this is the Party Organ and the Party can do with it whatever it pleases!

Besides, the Party can't spam by definition. The Party only spreads and reinforces the message!


=========================
This was written by a pastor's wife in biblical prose as a commentary of current events.
=========================

Our Leader "P-BO"

And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the people of the land called America, having lost their morals, their initiative, and their will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme Leader that person known as "The One."

He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but He hypnotized the people telling them, "I am sent to save you."

"My lack of experience, my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my association with evil doers are of no consequence. I shall save you with Hope and Change. Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout the land that he who preceded me is evil, that he has defiled the nation, and that all he has built must be destroyed."

And the people rejoiced, for even though they knew not what "The One" would do, he had promised that it was good; and they believed. And "The One" said, "We live in the greatest country in the world. Help me change everything about it!" And the people said, "Hallelujah! Change is good!"

Then He said, "We are going to tax the rich fat-cats." And the people said "Sock it to them!" "And redistribute their wealth." And the people said, "Show us the money!" And the he said, "Redistribution of wealth is good for everybody."

And Joe the plumber asked, "Are you kidding me? You're going to steal my money and give it to the deadbeats??" And "The One" ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe's personal records were hacked and publicized.

One lone reporter asked, "Isn't that Marxist policy?" And she was banished from the kingdom!

Then a citizen asked, "With no foreign relations experience and having zero military experience or knowledge, how will deal with radical terrorists?" And "The One" said, "Simple. I shall sit with them and talk with them and show them how nice we really are; and they will forget that they ever wanted to kill us all!" And the people said, "Hallelujah!! We are safe at last, and we can beat our weapons into free cars for the people!"

Then "The One" said "I shall give 95% of you lower taxes." And one, lone voice said, "But 40% of us don't pay ANY taxes." So "The One" said, "Then I shall give you some of the taxes the fat-cats pay!" And the people said, "Hallelujah! Show us the money!"

Then "The One" said, "I shall tax your Capital Gains when you sell your homes!" And the people yawned and the slumping housing market collapsed. And He said. "I shall mandate employer-funded health care for every worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall give every person unlimited healthcare and medicine and transportation to the clinics." And the people said, "Give me some of that!"

Then he said, "I shall penalize employers who ship jobs overseas." And the people said, "Where's my rebate check?"

Then "The One" said, "I shall bankrupt the coal industry and electricity rates will skyrocket!" And the people said, "Coal is dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we don't care for that part about higher electric rates." So "The One" said, Not to worry.. If your rebate isn't enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail you out. Just sign up with the ACORN and you troubles are over!"

Then He said, "Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted. Let's grant them amnesty, Social Security, free education, free lunches, free medical care, bi-lingual signs and guaranteed housing..." And the people said, "Hallelujah!" and they made him king!

And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs and ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers. Others simply gave up and went out of business and the economy sank like unto a rock dropped from a cliff.

The bank banking industry was destroyed. Manufacturing slowed to a crawl. And more of the people were without a means of support.

Then "The One" said, "I am the "the One"- The Messiah - and I'm here to save you! We shall just print more money so everyone will have enough!" But our foreign trading partners said unto Him. "Wait a minute. Your dollar is not worth a pile of camel dung! You will have to pay more..." And the world said, "Wait a minute. That is unfair!!" And the world said, "Neither are these other idiotic programs you have embraced. Lo, you have become a Socialist state and a second-rate power. Now you shall play by our rules!"

And the people cried out, "Alas, alas!! What have we done?" But yea verily, it was too late. The people set upon The One and spat upon him and stoned him, and his name was dung. And the once mighty nation was no more; and the once proud people were without sustenance or shelter or hope. And the Change "The One" had given them was as like unto a poison that had destroyed then and like a whirlwind that consumed all that they had built.

And the people beat their chests in despair and cried out in anguish, "give us back our nation and our pride and our hope!!" But it was too late, and their homeland was no more.

You may think this a fairy tale, but it's not. It's happening RIGHT NOW

UPDATE:

Have the same shirt Obama is wearing in this story. And drink from the official state-issue government mug.

What is the Latin for "Out of Much, Nothing"?

Comrades,

I have already self-criticized myself for what I am about to air, but let me suggest we keep the year as 48 BO, for it passes the smell test and strengthens with age.

Let's pass it by acclimation. This is the year 48 BO.

Excellent Comrade, Commissar!  I concur!  48 BO!

Anybody need to borrow my Peoples Speed Stick?

Theme for upcoming "50 Years of BO" Celebration:  The People's Nose Knows!

People's Chant:  Deodorant?  NYET!  Shower?  NYET!  BO!?! DA!!!!!  Rah.  Rah.

Над и вне

Hi Comrades.
Gretings from Afrika, The light kontinent.

The Free University of Zimbabwe would like to invite you all to enroll for next year's courses
Ecomonics 101: How to use Hyperinflation to make a millionaire of every comrade. In ten years you'll be able to pay the US national debt with one bill!
Healtcare 101: Cuttting Healthcare costs by sending all the cholera victims who can still walk south of the border
Politics 101: How to win elections even if you loose

Tuition Fee: Zim$1000 000 000 000 per week.

All color-in books provided. Please bring your own crayons.

Previous Alumni include(Internet Campus): B H Obama. That guy with funny hair from East Asia.

Amandla comrades!

Obamugabe

Comrades,

Hararelujah, Comrade Bob Obamugabe has deigned to join us! Huzzah!

konnichiwa,

i propose that we need not further bother with facts or actual dates, we only need to go with what feels right.  feeling goodness in the short term is most fastest way to correct party™ decision making ability.
48BO feels right, as right as left it can be.


48 feels good
and i knew that it would now
and it feels so right

like sugar and spice
good so good i got BO
like a sex machine


sumimasen,  i went into uncontrollable haiku with influence of my only previous african role model, jamesbrownsan combined with new african role model, barakobamasan.  gomen nasai.  i must now retire to hotel room for free lunch from taxpayer and generous lines of nose candy.

atode,
emperor kakubakuhatsu

Comrades,

As confirmed in another thread on the glorious Snoopy-less (well, I didn't see the LSD tab designs, so I could be wrong) Woodstock, "If it feels right, do it!" I think that's how Che kept so chipper executing political prisoners. "Argh, another one? But my trigger finger hurts. But it does feel good. Let's do it!"